Still Blooming waiting for November babies

[Pixiefish]

Here we are ladies- I'll dash off and link to the new thread from the old one

Choudru - I only have energy cos i've finished work and have no other kids to look after! And some days I am still knackered, despite having nothing to do. There's no way i could have gone swimming wshen i was still at work - it was all I couild do to drag myself home after work and flop onto the sofa

KaylaBmummy - I have no advice for you just big, big hugs! And lots of them too!
I can't remember your details (Is this your first pregnancy?) Listen all that matters is you and your baby. From the second you're a parent you'll realise that there are a whole lot of big sticks out there that you're going to start beating yourself up with in the name of your own judgement of your parenting skills. Don't let this CS be one of them!

I'm not sure how many weeks you have until YOUR BABY'S BIRTHDAY but see if you can alter the focus of your thinking between now and then. Sure the recovery etc may not go well but that's the same for all of us, it's just we're not acknowleding it because we have nothing forcing us to. You are in a better position because you're processing this possibilty and this will in turn reduce the likelihood of a bad outcome (in a mind over matter kind of way).

Could you write yourself a birth plan to increase your say over what happens once you see your baby? If you have to stay in longer than you'd expect can DH be in hospital for longer than the usual visiting hours? Can you bring stuff from home in to personalise your room? Can you be in a room on your own to maximse that babymooning time once you do meet? How long do you have to be in hospital, can you go any sooner if your progress is good? Focus on what you can do to improve the situation you've got. At least there are less unknowns to contend with. If it were me I'd be writing a big list that went something like champagne,chocolate... ...

This isn't bad, it's just different hon!

Easywriter - Thanks for your words of wisdom, your right I do need to start thinking more positively. When the decission was made yesturday it knocked me a bit but did a bit of research last night and feeling much better about things. The birth plan is a great idea and I have started writing some suggestions down, apparently DH could be holding baby within half an hour of delivery, it will be a little longer for me, about an hour but thats not too bad. I think fear and tiedness took over yesturday but feeling a lot more positive today. It will be my third child, I gave birth 16 years ago the last time and so much seems to have changed, im now 32 weeks, they are hoping to do section at 38 weeks. I think it is just being scared of the unknown but what you said is right I have got time to find out more and plan and make it more personal. I think lack of sleep and back pain are bring me down abit and i needed a positive straight talking so thanks for that easywriter, I hope we can keep chatting through the months. How are things with your pregnancy? Is this your first?

Sparkly - Glad to hear your still holding in there. Hope your feeling good today, everyday is a bonus so good luck.

Chocolate hobnob - Hope your well, had a great night sleep last night, had new painkillers and they really do the trick, feeling much better today, hope your good too, take care.

Silkcushion and Iris66 - Thanks for advice on back pain. I booked appointments with reflexologist and Osteopath for early next week, I cant wait to go. I have had Reflexology before and found it very beneficial, not been to Osteopath but will give anything ago to make pain better. Iris, we are very simular with our childrens ages etc. How are things going with your pregnancy?. Thanks both for your good advice.

Can I just say to all that when I joined mumsnet a few days ago, I was really low with health problems and DH away working and I moved to new area to be with DH, seem to have lost my friends and popping into my family. But after speaking to you lot for a few days I feel tons better and not so alone, its great jumping on line throughout the day and reading your messages and kind words so I know I have said thanks a few times now and you all probably think im mad but i mean it. THanks you are all really helping, feel quite good today so think ill go into town later and check out the big pants in M&S ive been recommended after C-Section and do a yummy food shop. My son, hes 18 is coming up to visit for the weekend, cant wait, I miss him loads, hes in college and could not move up with me, so his dad and I share him. Speak soon.

STILL HERE!! Had a funny night, kept waking up every hour, and I was a bit scared as I didn;t know what was waking me up, and was scared to get up in case it was contractions that was waking me up IYKWIM. But it wasn't

Good stuff Sparkly! I really think we should all be aiming for Librans (you KNOW that's the best star sign).

(what???? I might be a libran, doesn't make me biased does it?

KaylaBmummy - It's my second pregnancy, (last one was a twin pregnancy so I'm hoping for a very different labour and delivery i.e. no where near a hospital as you get quite 'managed' if your having twins). I hope you manage to stay positive, it's so blummin' hard with all the hormones we have buzzing around our systems. I like you find this thread incredibly supportive, sometines you don't even need to post as there's someone having the same day as you who's already got to the computer!

Group hug!

I'd just like to bleat on about the breast feeding a bit more. Despite this being my 2nd time around and me mixed feeding for 3 months last time, I know SO little about breastfeeding.

Last time I did it all wrong and this time I feel fairly determined to make it work (not utterly as last time the low that descended upon me when I had to stop BF was horrific as I'd totally swallowed the 'BF is the be and end all for your children' line.

Last night at preggers yoga a mum came to tell her birth story and a lot of it revolved around BF (this was her second child and she tried and given up BF the first time too). She said that for a lot of people the first two weeks are excruciating painful but you have to grin and bear it as your body suddenly recovers and the pain virtually disappears overnight. She had a horrid tale of her baby burping blood when being winded and when she called the MW in a panic was told that it was blood from her nipples as they were cracked and this is in the 'normal' [horrified emoticom!!!] range of things that happen when BF.

Please can the people who've breastfed tell a bit more about what it's like as I NEED to know. Any tips would be great too.

BY the way Nicola the bottle that gets your baby to 'chomp' as babies do on the breast rather than suck is called a Haberman feeder (or special needs feeder) and is made by Medela. I used them last time with the girls, they are good but you babe will still find it easier to get milk from the bottle than your breast so all the stuff everyone's been saying about not introducing bottles too soon still applies.

I BF all my kids and intend to BF this one. I was lucky that I had the full support of the hospital and my family. It can hurt in the first few days, especially when your milk comes in, and your breasts are so full and the baby struggles to latch on, but I always found that expressing a small amount off first helped. If you do get engorged then sitting in a warm bath with the water just above your breasts and using fannels to hand express the milk can help too.

Most of all you should just relax and enjoy the closeness.HTH

hi everyone

Cant stop for long as we're just off to Cambridge for the weekend so i'll catch up with all your news on sunday.

Just wanted to let you all know that i've just had a MW appointment and again, all is well. She did tell me however that baby is breech at the moment, but seeing as i'm only 29+3, i have every faith that she will turn round in time for her birthday! Fingers crossed, anyway!

Have a good weekend everyone, catch up with you soon!

xxx

Hi everyone,

Loopy, what is a mattress wrapping? Am I being dense here?

Kayla, I think online support can really work. Even when you have lots of friends nearby they aren't necessarily going through the same thing as you. And it is so nice to be able to chat via the computer!

RGPargy, sorry the bub's currently breech - sure it will move; it has loads of time!

Last time I saw the mw - more than 2 weeks ago - my lo was 2/5 engaged, head down. I'm now 33 weeks (was 31 weeks then) - wonder if lo has moved since then.. I sense it's kind of low because it seems to dance around on my bladder!!!

Sparkly, glad you're still here and not postnatal yet!

Breastfeeding - I've done the NHS classes; have NCT class all day tomorrow. Am a little unsure as I don't like the militant side of the NCT - I do want to breastfeed, but I don't want to be made to feel that I'm a useless mother if I can't cope with it. Anyway we shall see.

Hope you're all sleeping reasonably well - I had today off and had a lovely restful day. DH put lo's cot up - it looks fab! The room is decorated too - it's starting to feel real...

Have a good weekend!

Hiya Loopy good to see you back and that you've got your house sorted at last.
The Yahoo homebirth (and UKMidwfery site) was really useful (thanks for the tip) and did my confidence no end of good. My sugars are much better this week (in no small part to some homeopathic remedies I've been taking - I even tested their effect with cream cake and flapjack!!) They've been almost all within normal range which is great. I'm almost tempted to ask for another GTT to see if I can get some official backing for a HB but figure that may be asking too much of my body (and of them to backtrack!) I've a double consultants appointment again next week but have also booked a MW appointment to arrange the HB. I feel much more confident about asking for things now too (it's very liberating )

Easywriter - I love your comment about it being our new LO's birthdays (due date sounds so impersonal doesn't it)
I'm lucky that i had few problems feeding my 2 and plan to BF this one as well. I'll add my experiences to the previous comments:

a. It's not necessarily easy - engorgement hurts, lots, but as sparkly said, massaging with warm flannels in the bath gets rid of some of the excess and allows the LO to latch on more easily.
b. BF as much as poss over the first 5 days to get everyting flowing and LO used to sucking (the sooner you can get them latched on after the birth the better and the skin to skin is priceless in bonding terms)
c. Once the initial engorgement passes, regularly feel for hard patches on your boobs and massage them as LO feeds to help clear any blocking/engorged ducts
d. Drink a pint of water with each feed. Once a regular feeding pattern emerges you will then be used to drinking an optimum amount - dehydration does ruin your milk supply.
e. Express in the morning when you're well rested (I fed one side & expressed the other - using the expressed side as the next feed side as I never felt I could fully empty it by expressing)
f. lasinoh milk storage bags - bloody brilliant invention. One kept in the fridge and topped up during each day then bunged in the freezer at night.
g. Boots nipple shells to catch the drips from the side you're not feeding from ( - i got a good few oz collecting drips alone!)
h. Lilypadz - reusable rubbery disks that you stick over your nipple to stop any leakage - fab for nights out as no bulk and no leaks.
i. Give your nips a regular airing. Rub a bit of milk over them and allow it to air dry after every feed to help with soreness/cracking (soggy nips hurt loads but it really doesn't last for long)
j. Eat BF uses up so many calories that you lose weight without thinking but you can become really tired if it all happens too quickly. My particular vice was a mug of tea, oat biscuits, heavy fruitcake and a pint of water. (a good gossip mag or a book were often handy too but somehow I don't think I'll get the chance this time, with DS bombing about!)
k. Growth spurts. All babies have them and will feed constantly for 2/3 days at regular intervals making you think you're not producing enough milk. You are. Their feeding frenzy is recallibrating your supply!
l. And finally....Don't listen to your HV when she says you need to top up with formula because LO isn't sleeping, cries alot, needs to be held...it won't make any difference to those issues but will ruin your supply. (Obviously it's different if LO isn't putting on weight or there are other health/development/PND issues - or if you have just had enough and would feel more comfortable FF, in which case do what you instinctively think best and know you are doing the right thing for you and LO. HTH BTW La Leche League is apparently very good for advice on all aspects of BF.

Sparkly - glad you're still hanging on in there girl

Easywriter - sorry hon but I'm aiming for another Scorpio - we've lots of fire, water and earth in our family already - last thing we need is air

Are there any more on the thread who's birthdays are make them Libra/Scorpio/Sagittarius? (I'm Sagittarius btw)

KaylaBmummy - I'm so lad you find MN useful. My DH works away alot too (not on ships like yours though) and, particularly last pg, I found it so comforting to chat anonymously with like minded people about all the little niggles I had - and the big ones. I had bouts of depression during my last pg, followed by PND - mainly due to the effect of a number of sudden deaths of people I knew at the time (5), one of whom was my dad. I feel I've made some real bonds with people on here(electronic ones?) as a result.
As far as this pg is going, I'm loving it (apart from the GD/HB thing) but am really starting to feel my age . I said at the start that I may try for one more after this but I'm not so sure now. We're taking DD to unit next weekend. It's going to be so odd not having her around. You must miss your DS like mad! I hope you have a wonderful weekend with him visiting.

Silkcushion - hope your back is bearing up still

RGPargy - enjoy your weekend away

and on that note I must stop waffling!! I obviously had too chilled a day shopping for last minute bits with DD (and getting our hair cut ) Have a good weekend all night night

still here lol!! (watch me go overdue now ) Tonight is not a good night, the girls are playing up and all I want to do is cry.. was sitting on the bottom step, trying not to cry, have had enough now

Loopy, thanks for the info about the mattress cover - I was a bit baffled as to why no one on here had heard of it but I kept seeing them in shops over here!

I read the link you put in and it didn't seem terribly scientific, I think he says "The rate of cot death in 1994 was 2.1 per 1000 (or whatever it was) and now it's very low" - but he doesn't really clarify what "very low" is - so not that clear, iyswim. And no evidence as to whether the mattress covers have played any part in this suppposed reduction or whether it's other factors e.g. not smoking around babies, not overheating, putting to sleep on back etc.

Is the "Back to sleep" campaign you mentioned advice about putting the baby to sleep on his/her back etc? We get all that advice here too so I'm still unsure whether to use this big rustly noisy plastic sheet. Prob not I'm thinking.

Hi everyone, how do all of your dp's/dh's feel about being at the birth? wondering as I've just discovered mine doesn't really want much to do with it and can't see the point in any of the things i want to do to prepare myself for it . i haven't slept very much and feel very anxious about the whole thing now.

sorry to hear that Ara...my dh is going to be there, I don't think he has a clue what it's going to be like (mind you, neither do I). I'm so worried about the pain, I dont' think I'd be able to cope if he wasn't going to be there.

One plus is that he has had both gas and an epidural for pain relief, due to major knee surgery he had several years ago - so he has been telling me what they're like, in case I end up having either/both. He says they were both fab!

Anna and ara- don't worry too much about the birth- grab the gas and air and enjoy. I know I sound stupid saying that but if you try and focus through your pain then it isn't as bad. You also forget it straight away.

Ara- it's harder for your dp perhaps because he doesn't live with you so doesn't see himself as involved perhaps- I'm not making excuses for him- just trying to make you feel better

Pixie, I think I've read too much about labour - loads of books and also lots of the birth announcemtns on MN. I know each birth is different and you shouldn't pay too much attention to the horror stories but i have hearde some horrendous tales. Have worked in childcare for 6 years and heard lots about the births from the kids' mums. Think I'm just scared of being out of control and not being able to cope. And then I think, being worried and stressed about it will probably make it worse anyway...and that makes me more worried and stressed!

I did get a hypnobirthing CD this week to listen to over the next 7 weeks, hopefully will calm me down a bit!

Anna- if you go in expecting pain ten you will get pain. Go in with a positive attitude that it isn't going to hurt and try to look through it.

It's more to stop the next 7 weeks being full of worry- it does hurt yes but it's not unbearable- if it was how many of us would be going for our 2nd+ baby

Totally agree with Pixifish, there will be some pain yes but it is not unbearable. I was induced the first time (and I would prefer not to this time, apparently an induction makes the contractions faster and stronger). Despite that I managed with gas and air and pethidine and it didn't put me off having a second one!
Try not to worry too much about it.

Morning everyone,

Ara - I know it has upset you that DP doesn't view childbirth as you do but try to remember he isn't saying these things to upset you. He's just being honest about his feelings.

We had DS by emergency CS so no real issues about DH being there or not. Hopefully we will get to experience natural childbirth this time and I have a sneaking suspicion that if I said to DH that I would prefer to have my mum or sister there instead, he would put up much of a fight!

He comes from a very traditional family and none of his brothers or BILs were present at any of their childrens' births.

To his credit, he has gone along with the idea that he will be my birth partner and is perfectly fine with attending the antenatal classes with me.

Try not to make DP feel bad about it because you don't want him acting out of guilt. Maybe you could give him some reassurance that he wouldn't have to do anything he wasn't comfortable with. He might have visions of having to be at the business end of things and having to cut the cord and be handed a slimy purple baby without being asked what he wants to do.

My DH will definitely be nowhere near the business end (more because I don't want him down there!) and it's of no importance to me who cuts the cord. And I would like the baby to be given a quick wipe before being handed to us. So hopefully all DH will have to do is allow me to break every bone in his hand and listen to me scream like a banshee (he's probably heard me do that many times he he).

Why don't you ask DP to consider attending the birth on his terms? Tell him he can leave whenever he wants to and that he can have as much or as little involvement as he is happy with.

Just make sure he doesn't feel under pressure and that he knows you just want to share the special moment with him.

I hope you're not too upset honey - put it this way, it's better than him sugegsting he video the whole thing and put it on facebook to share with all your friends and family!

BTW - I meant that DH WOULDN'T put up much of a fight. I really must proof read BEFORE posting...

Seriously, it can't hurt that much or I wouldn't be having number 4. DS was a CS and the girls were VBACs. I fully intend to have a VBAC again.
The only thing that scares me is when I will actually go into labour, because with DD2 I had no signs that I was about to go into labour, went to a hospital appointment with DS in london and suddenly started to have contractions, I was 33 weeks. So atm am still a bit nervy even though I have had no hospital admissions (was in and out with Dd2 from 28 weeks with threaten preterm labour)