November 2017 #5. You wait ages for a baby, then 3 come along at once. Ante/post-natal chat ...

[Zampa]

No specific post-natal category so I've added it to the normal ante-natal category ...

izzi I'm breastfeeding but have been expressing & bottle feeding every few days, plus expressing an extra feed more than what she needs every day! She's the first of my 3 that's put on weight quite this well but they all gained weight fairly in-line with expectations until about 8w when my excessive milk supply/enthusiastic let-down wasn't enough to overcome the restrictions of their tongue ties.

We're also co-sleeping with DD in a cot with a side removed pushed against our bed. I'm really just that lazy that I can't wake up enough to drag her 6 inches & latch her on! I don't admit it IRL but I suspect part of the reason we have such good sleepers is that they get used to being ignored at night!

@izzibee I think it really depends on weight gain as to whether you need to wake them at night for feeds. My Freddie quite often does decent stretches of sleep (5-6 hours) but has consistently put on loads of weight so we haven't needed to wake him. Assuming weight gain is ok I'd not wake a sleeping baby and enjoy the sleep!

@izzibee29 with DS I was paranoid about weight gain as he lost so much after birth & he wasn't great at waking for feeds so I was setting an alarm for every 3 hours & then as the weeks passed I increased it to 4 hours & then at about 8 weeks just left it up to DS to wake naturally.

This time I've just let DD wake naturally for feeds. She was doing every 3 hours & over the last 2 weeks has been increasing it to 4/5 hours. Tonight she did 7 hours! After the long stint she will then do 3 hours again. She also does a night of every 3 hours to keep me on my toes! We're getting much less day time sleeping as a result but I'm happy with that. She's settled herself into going down for a long stretch from 8pm. I've been leaving her downstairs with us until we go to bed but she wouldn't settle downstairs last night so I tried putting her in the crib upstairs after all my usual tactics had failed & she was asleep in minutes so moving to that from now on I think. Once Christmas is over & my PiL have gone home early Jan I'm going to work on a day time routine too as she seems to have sussed her night time one herself. She's gained over 2lb since birth at 6 weeks so she's doing well.

@AGnu do you mean you bottle feed at night?

Liliana is 7 wks now but still only goes 4/4.5 hrs between feeds as that is when her or I wake up, I'd love for it to be longer!

@izzibee29 in the first 2.5 wks we set our alarms and woke her up every 3 hrs to feed but as soon as one Midwife said don't bother we stopped doing it and trusted that she will wake us up when she is hungry!

lydia no, I only occasionally give her a bottle of expressed milk usually in the afternoon/evening when she's going through a phase of feeding every hour & it's making me sore. All the washing bottles/pump is way too much effort unless I'm in agony! I've been taking a break from breastfeeding on days when DH is around so he can do all the washing after I express! I'm doing 24 hours of expressing/bottle feeding from the left & breastfeeding from the right because my left side is so bruised. Hopefully once it's healed it won't get sore again now that her TT is cut!

Oh I envy you guys having to wake your babies 🙈 Tilly wakes up every 3 hours like clockwork sometimes every 2 and takes ages to wind and settle back. She’s 5 weeks tomorrow. I’m so tired by it I’ve been in bed since half 4 this afternoon zzzz

Tell me about it @hazandduck! DD2 will sleep from 2300 to 0100 every night and will then wake up every hour until about 0500, when I give up and sleep with her on my chest, until about 0800.

Having said that, she slept from 2330 to 0215 last night so things are looking up slightly!

How is everyone getting on with getting ready for Christmas? I've done a lot of wrapping with F in the sling over the past few days! Are you all giving your babies presents? We've just got one little thing for Freddie because he's too little to know anything about it but have also had to do him a full stocking because DD is expecting santa to come for him as well as her.

I'm pretty much there for Christmas now. Couple of presents left to wrap & the veg left to get but everything else is sorted. I hate wrapping so did it all a few weeks ago just after I'd bought everything & when Iris was tiny & still sleeping lots in the day.

I really struggled with what to get Iris. I knew she had to have something to open or DS would question why she didn't have anything. She's got a new mobile as the one she has only lasts 2 minutes & she loves watching it, a fleece cover for the sling & a little outfit. I think I'm going to be inundated with clothes for her as that what I've told everyone else to get! What's everyone else getting their little ones?

I'm dreading Boxing Day as we've got 10 people for the day & Iris is going to be so over stimulated and refuse to sleep. Might have to put her down for a nap in her crib during the day so she definitely gets some rest.

Nearly there with wrapping - just a few things left, although we're going away tomorrow & I've still not finished DD's present so I'll probably have to take some wrapping paper for that. I've made her a blanket which will be her only present from us. We've told the DSs right from the start that Santa is a game people like to play & last year was the first time they asked to play it. Obviously, the first rule of the game is that we don't say it's a game around other people! At least this way we don't have to worry about them asking why Santa hasn't brought anything for DD - she's too young to play games yet!

DH & I are going to have a proper argument soon. DD's feeding has changed since her TT was cut & I feel like we've got to start from scratch again. Also, my supply had dropped a lot because I'm not getting enough sleep or drinking much. I told him that I need to prioritise feeding her which meant he was in charge of the DSs this morning. I specifically asked him to just get on with the necessary basics like breakfast, etc. so we could do a few other things I wanted to fit in, like registering her at the GP so I can book her 6w check... So far he's got up late, played Lego with the DSs loudly & kept disturbing DD, eventually had breakfast, washed himself & the DSs & put a load in the washing machine. I could've done all that in an hour, aside from the Lego. I had to pester him to get lunch, at which point he whinged that he was having to do everything by himself & he "just wanted to do something nice with the DSs" when he was doing Lego. The "nice" thing we have planned for today was taking them out this afternoon. I'm now going to have to miss that so I can go to the GP to register her. If we don't do it today we have basically no chance of getting an appt for her at 6w. It's now taken him 35 minutes to slice a few bits of bread, cheese & cucumber for lunch just for the boys. I could have lunch for all of us ready in 10 minutes. I'm fed up of feeling like I should just be grateful that he's doing these things while I'm concentrating on DD when I'm the one who's missing out on the family outing because he won't stick to the agreed plan!

I think I have Christmas under control. I've wrapped everything and now just have to distribute it all. We have got Bea a penguin that says "my first Christmas 2017," and a copy of the night before Christmas; we can read this to her every Christmas Eve. We haven't got anything else as obviously she doesn't have a clue about Christmas!

I'm pretty much sorted, a couple more things to wrap. I got an activity gym/play mat thing for Felicity as a "present", and wrapped up a couple of useful bits like more bibs and spare dummies to go in her stocking. Obviously entirely for my benefit not hers!

I'm starting to feel like I'm the only person in the world who has a baby who constantly cries :( if she isn't sleeping (feels like that is mostly night time) she is crying unless being held or feeding. Bouncy chair play mat Moses basket mext2me sleepyhead all no good :(

She sleeps 3 hrs at a time at night usually between 10-7 but the rest of the time a nightmare:(

Makes DH and I so grumpy and frustrated and argumentative :(

@lydiangel83 you are definitely not the only person in the world with a baby who cries all the time. I have one of those too and mummy cries along too sometimes. We have found the cause of the crying for us is due to silent reflux. We have just started a new medication today so I am hoping for a none crying baby for Christmas. Could it be silent reflux that is causing the crying for you?

I just want to say you are not alone. Being a mum is hard work! You are doing an amazing job xx

Thanks so much @theotherendofthesockportal I nearly cried reading your message. What are symptoms of silent reflux? Xx

Ps @theotherendofthesockportal I hope you get your Christmas wish! Fingers crossed for you xx

@AGnu totally understand your frustration and would definite feel the same xx

Oh lydia you are definitely not alone. Freddie is a bit of a crier - sometimes he almost seems to need a good wail. I went Christmas shopping yesterday and he was awful, in one of the shops a member of staff had to rock the pushchair while I paid in an attempt to keep him quiet. Had to come home early in the end. I think he had got hot. We've been joking that he only has 3 modes: crying, eating or sleeping. But over the last few days he has started to have some happy awake time now he's more aware of his surroundings so there's hope!

I really wouldn't worry too much about not being able to put her down to sleep though, maybe she's just a Velcro baby. Will she sleep in a sling? I can't be bothered to try to put F down to sleep at the moment as it will just result in crying and ultimately an overtired baby, so I just pop him in the sling.
Fingers crossed for contented babies over Christmas. But failing that, lots of nice food and treats for frazzled mums.

Another thing to help with a crier - put them in the pram, put the rain cover on to cut down the noise, and walk somewhere quiet so you're not worrying about other people hearing. If you're lucky they go to sleep in the pram but if not at least they're not quite so loud. If you're really lucky they stay asleep when you get home but that doesn't really happen here so I do some very long walks!

@lydiangel83 this a good website which includes the symptoms of silent reflux. www.thesleeplady.co.uk/silent-reflux-tips/
I'm on the app so I'm not sure if the link will turn into a clicky link. I hope you are feeling better now?

I think I got the baby drunk ... Had some wine with dinner and baby slept from midnight to 0730 with only one wake up at 0330.

I fed her 2 hours after finishing drinking and felt sober but something clearly got through. Feeling quite guilty.

Zampa for something to be alcoholic it must have an alcohol content of more than 0.5%. Breast milk only contains the same % as your blood. If you had a blood alcohol level of 0.5% you'd be dead. Ergo, breast milk can never contain enough alcohol to be classed as "alcoholic" if it were being sold.

I'm not saying it's a good idea to drink lots regularly while bfing but after 2 hours you'll have had very little alcohol in your milk, if any at all. Just chalk it up to a good night & don't feel guilty for that!

Thanks @AGnu, that's reassuring. Going to have a glass of Champagne on Christmas Day but don't think I'll bother other than that.

DP and I don't drink much but it's hard to avoid booze when my Dad's around. Will just have to learn to say no!

I'm not breastfeeding just expressing a little, but I still haven't dared have any alcohol because the thought of looking after a baby with even a hint of a hangover terrifies me. And knowing my luck, I haven't drunk for so long that I'd feel hungover after one!

@Zampa I think you're fine, as others have said and even NHS guidance says a bit of alcohol is fine, main danger is being too drunk to look after baby which clearly was not you! Don't feel guilty, enjoy the restful feeling! xx