May 2017 #4

[WishIWasSleeping]

Oh, obviously I do know how!

Badger my skin has been getting so dry and my belly itchy. I've been moisturising right out of the shower and then putting body oil (Burt's Bees mama bee) over which seems to help.

I also can't eat as much in one go, though I get hungry frequently. Have had a few Xmas meals recently where my stretchy maternity trousers have been so comfy! Though after eating bump is so big I look way further along than I am !!

Morning ladies

Haven't been on here for ages so hope you are all well.

Found out this weekend that my sister-in-law is 10 weeks pregnant so we're looking forward to going through the next few months together.

Also got the results back of the harmony test, which gave a reading of 1:10,000 risk for downs and also confirmed I'm having a boy!

lucie that's a really interesting insight. I had a friend who couldn't talk to me for nearly 5 years. She had quite extensive fertility treatment including donor eggs and now has children and we're talking again but it was obviously very hard for her.

Actually I don't know how interesting constant pregnancy and baby updates are for the majority out there, except for your closest family and friends.

We do talk extensively about everything else under the sun, not just the baby and I'm mindful of asking how she's doing, without talking about her health too much as I know it's bothering her.

It transpires from DH chatting to hers last night, that her DDs birthday is coming up and I think it's making her remember when she was a baby etc. Which is making it all the harder.

She won't know until April next year whether it's safe for them to try again and the likelihood is that if she can, she'll be high risk from the get go.

Her DH made out that it was as if I wasn't thinking about it when talking to her - they have chosen to be very open about her health which is fine and upto them.

What they aren't aware of - is that I was being tested for cervical cancer, PCOS and endometriosis over the last two years or so and was told that the chances of us conceiving could be very low.

Thankfully all is well at the moment and under control, but we just chose not to talk about it to others until we had the results back and as we had the ok - we never really divulged information to anyone. So I do understand it's tough. Seeing her bringing up her little one was tough at the time.

Cox and Barnes - thank you, it is really tough. I think I got so upset about it yesterday because we'd just had our Midwife appt and heard the baby's heartbeat for the first time, it kind of felt like the day was ruined. My emotions are completely shot at the moment and I spent the whole evening in tears yet again. *
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I don't think I'll tell her that DH has been in touch, I think she'd be really upset and it would make the whole thing worse tbh.
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Lucie and Tea* - it was a big decision for DH and I to agree that we would put stuff on Facebook. Having myself moved from Germany to the U.K. And then moving from the South to London, combined with DH having family in Italy, Hong Kong, Sri Lanka and lord knows where else - we decided it was the easiest way to keep in touch with everyone at once. I understand that it may be difficult at times of course, but as I say, I have a fairly small circle of friends.

Tea, yes I wouldn't say I went as far as not to talk to close friends with children but it was very hard and we did drift a bit mainly just because I felt I had little in common as naturally they wanted to talk about their children together and that was very hard. I ended up explaining my problems in the end to all of my close friends and I think it helped them understand a little and realise that the reason for maybe not keeping in touch quite as much was because my mind and my life was completely preoccupied with trying to conceive and one failure after another and the heartbreak that brings. They were pretty supportive and it's nice now that I'm finally pregnant we can chat about baby things and they can give advice etc. Feels like we are getting back to old times

16 week appt this morning, and the midwife did use a doppler! They didn't last time so I was surprised. Good strong heartbeat :) Otherwise nothing to report, not a very interesting appointment all round - wee in a pot, blood pressure, the usual.

Has anyone done the John Lewis nursery advice service before? We have one booked in a few weeks time, but we've already picked out the pram, cot and car seat. Just wondering if it's still worth it for the smaller things, or whether that can be managed just as easily without a sales associate?

I really enjoyed the John Lewis nursery list the first time. The lady was lovely and no pressure (even told you what was a waste of money to buy). It was helpful having it on a list I then bought a few things from other places when they were doing 3 for 2 deals.

In reality you need far less than you think and it's far to easy to buy too much. Everything is available next day delivery if you need it after they are born.

Oh I am glad someone asked about the nursery service, I am thinking about booking it in the new year. Can you make a registry at the same time (I know VERY un mumsnetty but I am from a country where baby showers are the norm and I know friends and family will ask if I am registered)
DH and I made a list of things we need to buy before baby arrives (nappies,vests,sleepsuits etc) and things that aren't essential but will need later on but can be bought with vouchers he will get from work as a present.

I've booked the John Lewis nursery service for the new year. I'm looking forward to it although DH not so much!

Just come back from my 16 week midwife appt. It was a different midwife to the one I had when booking in but she was absolutely lovely! She is going to be my proper one from now on. All my bloods were perfect and she said my iron levels were amazing for a pregnant woman. I said it was an IVF baby and with symptoms easing I was feeling a little nervous and not particularly pregnant so she got the Doppler out and we listened to he heartbeat again which was such a relief. I shed a few tears and I could see she was on the verge as well. She said I should start feeling movements between 18-21 weeks.

"In reality you need far less than you think and it's far to easy to buy too much." ^ this

All babies / parents are different too, what works for some (or is 'essential') is useless to others. For instance - we never used vests (!) or a pram, but our sling was a necessity.

Yet again at my appt it was a different midwife, which seems to happen in our area - although I think she was standing in today as there was a home birth last night so they've all had to shuffle their appointments etc.

1004, we went for the buffalo as we walk the dog and I have horses, so wanted off road capability. DH put it together whilst I was cooking dinner yesterday, but it did make us think about where it would be stored day to day as its quite big!

Cinnamon, I was complaining to DH this weekend about how dry my skin is! I'm really suffering and I never have before! Have loads of different creams I'm lathering on, but it just makes me feel horrible. The Clarins hand and nail cream, and body shop hand hemp cream really help!

MissMooMoo, I'm so jealous that you have friends and family that want to buy things for you and baby!! My mother left recently for another man and we are NC, which is really difficult. My sister lives abroad, and although is a primary school teacher, doesn't really get the need for baby things! And my friends, although fab are useless! If I wanted a baby shower, I'd have to arrange it myself! I had to sort out my own hen do! So make the most of it :)

Another vote for the Emily Oster book, I have been dipping in and out again and not feeling guilty for having the odd Starbucks now that coffee doesn't make me feel sick any more!

Also suffering with dry skin / eczema on my hand, I woke myself scratching it last night need to be a bit better with regularly moisturising.

Jealous of those with lessening appetite, still flipping starving here!

bright I am the one living abroad and I think my mother is feeling a bit guilty as my sister is also having a baby and mom threw her a baby shower and will also be just round the corner when her baby comes in Feb. She will be coming to the UK at the end of June for a few weeks,she can't come before as she is a teacher so needs to wait for the summer holidays.

Dry skin here too! I already have dry skin but this is a new level.
Ive been using head and shoulders shampoo for a few weeks now and my scalp is still quite flakey.

Another one for the no-baby-shower club here.

Is anyone experiencing period-like pains in the second trimester? I thought it's more common at the beginning if a pregnancy, however I am feeling a bit uncomfortable. I have got midwife appt last Friday and the baby had got a strong heartbeat so I am reluctant to panic.

Oh no my appetite isn't smaller!! It's still going strong but I just can't physically fit as much in, particularly in the eve.

Currently devouring chocolate muffin after egg on toast before going back to work!

My appetite is very strong as usual, it wouldn't be like me at all to lose it. I also have no plans for a baby shower, I don't think that's really my thing.

Good news about the midwife appointment lucie. Lovely news.

I'm not a baby shower person either but some friends who don't live locally want to meet up as I probably won't be seeing them for a bit after the baby is here. But hopefully just brunch and gossip rather than a full on event. I did hold a baby shower for my sister (she is definitely a baby shower person!) and it was really good fun but it wasn't focused on gifts more afternoon tea and some silly games and things.

I'm definitely not eating any less! Hoping that lasts at least until Christmas . Dry skin here too - I'm still covering myself in E45.

Undecided about a baby shower. In my family's community they are not usually done as there's a bit of superstition about doing things before the baby comes. But I like the idea of some kind of pre-baby celebration.

Tea, that's all I want. Just an excuse (who really needs one?) to sit around and eat cake. DH and I have practically bought everything we need already so we don't actually need presents. I think I just resent my friends not being interested

Feeling a bit upset by my work at the moment and just need to vent!

I've been there 10 years, looked after the kids since they were 4 months old and love them to bits. When I first got pregnant last year the dad asked what would happen to them and who'd look after the kids. I said me! I'll bring baby with me! He was relieved.

So I was a little surprised when he told me last week that he's been prepping the kids for my departure Then went on to say how school hours would be changing, school will be more expensive etc. All of that I understand but I do feel hurt. After all this time wouldn't it have been nice to have an actual conversation with me rather than just casually mentioning it?! And nothing concrete either so I still don't know where I stand.

I know it's ages away but work & money worries are something that bring up old anxieties in me and on top of the hormones, exhaustion and the general feeling of "blimey! This is all new I don't really know what's going to happen!" of being wonderfully pregnant it's just a bit much Also I was looking forward to going back to work with my baby. People! Work!

badger they really should not have mentioned that casually!
I am having a meeting with my boss next Friday morning at our local coffee shop to discuss my plans for mat leave and once it is finished. My youngest charge is going to school in sept so I am not sure of their plans and tbh I am not sure what I want to do after mat leave!
They do need to pay redunancy pay if they decide they no longer need a nanny (they legally have to keep your position for you to return to if they are not changing the job--of course this does not include bringing baby).

That sucks Badger - it's worth asking for a proper chat with them to find out what they are thinking. I presume you're a nanny? What does your contract etc say about mat leave?