Thread 13. TTC #1 Grads. Some of us still remember that thing called "a full nights sleep" for most, it's a mere memory.

[AudreyBradshaw]

Behold, the wonder of birth! Members from 6 weeks bfp to post-partum wonder Mamas! No question to grotty or minging.

We've come full circle from obsessing about cervical mucus to now obsessing if it's our vagina baby plug going! What larks!

Lots of talk about poo, ours and now babies too! Baby brain is REAL! From morning sickness in the first trimester to the third trimester struggle of getting out of bed ( "walrus-ing"in our house), to actual real babies who are growing so fast! Discussion on the merits of sleepyhead and Ewan the dream sheep.

Sooo many gorgeous babies now! And equally lovely Mummy's! We are amazing! What a year! Can you believe it's been a year since our first tentative TTC thread!? Look how far we've come!

Roll up, literally, in my case, cause I'm practically rotund! for TTC #1 Grads!

Lisa one handed typing is a skill that takes a bit of practice. I have to admit, sometimes I start responding and think, sod it, it's too much like hard work.

Miley Arya likewise only lasts on her gym for 15 minutes to half hour max, then she starts squawking.

Sounds like you're having a really tough time with OH. To me it sounds like he's struggling with no longer being the centre of your world and because you have Harrison who genuinely needs your constant attention you have a lot less patience for anything which takes your attention. Also, I think as women we very quickly become absorbed by our babies, they need us desperately all the time and we instinctively are constantly aware of them and have to respond to them very quickly. Men don't have that urge, they aren't constantly aware and when not consciously directing their attention, they are perfectly able to be completely oblivious to babies. My OH was saying yesterday that he doesn't feel that he actually has that much patience for Arya, he loves her and he likes playing with her but after half hour he's bored and happy to pass her off to me. I do do practically everything for Arya and he has taken more and more of a back seat as time has gone on.
I guess you've got two choices, you can keep having words with him and try to push him to help and engage more. It might work but it also might breed more resentment as every time he lapses you will feel annoyed and let down. Or you can accept that he's not going to be much help and try to let it go. I've gone with the latter of the two options as its the least stressful for me

Indi well don't to Autumn on the excellent weight gain.

Irregular thanks for the advice about the blog. It's really helpful
If already checked grumpy mum was available I have my own web hosting service (so if anyone needs a website hosted I'll happily do you a good deal )

Thanks for all the feedback on Grumpy Mum. I shall go ahead with it. OH still disagrees with the name but as you ladies are my target audience I'm going with your opinion.
Right, I'm shattered and I've hidden in the loo under the guise of having a poo as long as I can get away with, I can hear OH getting irritated with Arya grizzling at him.

I like the sound of your blog potato and I like the title too. You should link it here when you're ready.

Had my 2nd of 4 NHS antenatal classes today and have the extra breastfeeding one tomorrow. Really enjoying them they're not what I thought they would be. Very heavy promotion of relaxation techniques (and we did some relaxation) use of birthing balls,heavy encouragement to ask for water birth (and no weight limit- I'm not huge but I saw BMI 30 as a limit on some things when googling). Really good drug info too. We don't need to bring any nappies, maternity towels or even milk if bottle feeding. Just need to bring clothes for mum and baby really. No electronic tagging. Feeling a bit less apprehensive about the whole thing.

Did anyone have remefentanyl?

Sorry to hear about the rubbish OHs, don't feel I can really give any advice having not experiencing it yet. I have heard the first couple of months are the worst hopefully this time will pass and things will improve.

Glad your scan went well first hope things get going soon.

Right, well I now own www.grumpymum.co.uk... There's nothing there yet but there will be
Hopefully I'll be able to make a few pennies from it and that plus my web design will pay for me to stay home.

I forgot to say, I've had an absolute nightmare with my car recently. I haven't driven it since July and the battery was completely dead so we jump started it and within minutes smoke was billowing from under the bonnet, enough that I was scared to drive it.
Anyway, I got the RAC out, turns out it wasn't really smoke but standing water/dust from disuse. They changed the battery and we were good to go, except that my MOT had expired (Oops!) so I managed to find someone to do the MOT today, left the car there this morning and spent a mind numbing 5 hours walking around the rubbish little town we have. Had another row with Costa over whether they could provide me with a cup of hot water. It went something like, ordered hot water at point of sale, fine, got to drinks collection, no you can't have the hot water it's a H&S risk show them the two emails from their head office stating I can have the water, nope, not happy, so called the manager. Showed manager the emails, he's not happy so he goes off to call the area manager. Comes back and can't get hold of the area manager so says that I can have the hot water "This time" I pointed out that it's no different that me ordering a cup of tea but according to him it is, a cup of tea is magically harder to spill than a cup of hot water... apparently it's different
Anyway, car failed it's MOT, something about one of the side roll bars being knackered. So I've got to leave it at the garage to be fixed which is only going to cost £100 but still it's a pain.

On my way back to the garage (Up the biggest hill in the fricking world) I worked out that my car is costing me a minimum of £1k per year when you take into account insurance, tax, petrol, servicing and parts. As a result I've come to the conclusion that if I'm not going to be earning anywhere near as much as I was, we can't afford to have two cars so my little red car will have to go

I'm not happy about it but I can't expect to have my cake and eat it! Fingers crossed, in a couple of years I'll be earning enough to be able to get a shiny new car.

The blog sounds good Potato! I'm another one who scours reviews before buying anything, particularly baby things.

Feef I'm glad the move went well! Sounds like you have had a good experience with your antenatal classes as well. Mine start next week, and I'm not decided if I'm looking forward to them yet or not. You've given me a little hope

leonie water babies looked really good. One of the first things we bought baby was a teeny swimming costume and matching hat! It sounds like a wonderful way for your DH to bond with his son.

Glad your scan went well first and hopefully the sweep will get things moving!

Sorry things aren't improving with your OH Miley. There's nothing worse that Christmas shopping with someone who's miserable. I'm sorry I can't be of much more help, as I have no idea what adjusting to the baby will be like for me, let alone OH Is there such a thing as postpartum depression for fathers?

Indi that's a great weight gain! Go Autumn! You have to love people giving parenting advice, especially if they have no children of their own, or it's been years since they've parented an infant! I'm not sure why people insist on putting their two cents in.

We put the final coats of paint on the nursery this weekend, and the furniture is together and in position. I'm starting to feel properly pregnant now, and beginning to get uncomfortable. And having proper mini freak outs over becoming a parent..

Potato - I love the Grumpy Mum idea! I'd definitely read it. Good luck with it x

Miley - sorry about your OH. It sounds like you've eased into motherhood so well and you really have things down. It definitely does fit that he would feel a bit useless or undervalued. Completely appreciate your point though that that shouldn't be your problem to reassure him on. He's an adult and needs to be able to deal with emotions and how he reacts to things.

Great weight gain with Autumn, Indi!

Quinn is exactly one month today and is weighing in at 9lb 15! She's basically 10lb, I can't believe it. Born at 8lb 7, so she's become a real chunk. It's such a reassurance every time I see the weight gain, and makes me feel a lot better about feeding.

For those doing swimming, a) how old do they have to be to start? And b) what do they need to wear?

Great news on the scan, First! Hope the sweep gets things started tomorrow x

Sorry to hear about the car potato.

I had no real expectations May but have been very pleasantly surprised! Nice group too.

Glad to hear about Quinn doing so well Lisa!

I don't think from what you've said Miley that I can add much to what Potato has said. I think she's spot on with the issue. I guess it's just how you deal with it. I'm really sorry that he's being like this though. He sounds like he's being a a prize twat and I know he was so great when you were having a difficult pregnancy so I can't imagine how tough it must be for him to be like this now.

I think he'll probably get better as Harrison grows and he's able to do more stuff that will be more interesting for your OH. It's pretty shit in the meantime though I know.

I wish you lived closer and I'd take you out for coffee, cake, a big let off steam rant and a hug xx

Hi all

lisa, we start swimming today when Evelyn will be eight weeks old but I was told there is no minimum starting age. She has to wear a disposable swim nappy (I got Huggies Little Swimmers) and then a Splash About Happy Nappy over the top. I think different swim schools ask for babies to wear different things.

I hope things get moving for you soon first. I went a week overdue before being induced and know how frustrating the wait is!

Glad the move went well feefs.

I'd definitely read Grumpy Mum too potato. Sorry to hear about your car, and also the cretins at Costa.

Did anyone read the article that was doing the rounds on Facebook about Mothercare refusing to let a woman breast feed in the store after telling her they didn't have any feeding facilities?!

Brilliant weight gain from Autumn indi.

miley, sorry to hear you are still having problems with your OH. It doesn't sound to me like he was genuinely ill, but then my view is that if you are ill enough to be off work you should stay at home wrapped up recovering, not go out and about. Anyway, how have things been over the past day or so? Do you think it could partly be a confidence thing? My OH is getting better, but if he starts to change a nappy and we get wee part way through that goes everywhere, or poo, he shouts of me to come and help. Sometimes I don't mind but other times I think it would just be quicker to do it myself. I can't remember who suggested it, but maybe have something specific for them to do together each day - could he be responsible for bath time (maybe with supervision to start with!)? His comment about wanting to lose weight before going swimming is a bit ridiculous!

may, exciting that you've finished the nursery! When are you due again?

Hope everyone else is ok.

miley I'm so sorry your OH is continuing to make you feel this way. I'm surprised he came out with you if off work sick, would it not have been awkward if someone from work had seen him? Does he talk about his feelings at all? It sounds like he's just not coping for whatever reason, as others have suggested perhaps it is something to do with him no longer being the centre of your world, not that it excuses things. I do think the first year of a child's life can be a rocky time for many relationships as everyone adjusts, but it's just not what you need at the moment.

Hope the sweep gets things moving first.

We had our last nct last night. I'm going to miss it, it's been really good. Some lovely people in the group and feeling a bit sad I'm going to miss out what with the overseas move, but it can't be helped. Mentally I've finally switched into mum mode and feeling much more ready for the baby, which is just as well as its 12 days until my c section. Have been instagramming and pinteresting a lot and discovered a whole new world of children's clothes and nursery decor, consequently I have a lot of exciting post coming this week and a somewhat lighter bank balance!

Sorry to hear about your car Potato. Is it the same member of staff in Costa giving you grief, or does this particular branch just have issues?

Lisa that's a great weight gain! 10lbs seems like a baby milestone.

Pink surely Mothercare should be at the forefront of encouraging mums to feed, by breast or otherwise? I'll have to look for the article. The furniture in the nursery has been put together, and bits put away, but I still have to buy bedding, curtains, a change mat, art work, a rug, bookshelf, baby monitor, light fixture etc etc. I thankfully have 9 weeks to go - due on the 5th January.

Canters I wish I found a NCT group with space, but I'm really looking forward to starting my NHS group. It must be difficult trying to put down baby roots with such a move looming! Hopefully you'll find a great mummy base once you're settled overseas. I'm glad to hear you're feeling more ready for baby - was there a specific point in your pregnancy this happened? If you've found a good site for nursery decor, please let me know! I'm just finding the same things over and over again.

I have so many things on my to-do list, and am feeling mega overwhelmed. Feels like baby's kicks are telling me to pull my finger out and get her world sorted already! I have the busiest few weeks at work, so will have to put aside the nesting for the next month or so

Mayo Yay for finishing painting the nursery. Does that mean you're all set? Are you going to share photos?

Regarding Costa, it's 3 different branches now. I'm pretty sure it's the fault of the area manager.

Lisa Well done on Quinn's weight gain. It's lovely to hear about all of our thriving babies.

Canters Not long now and you'll be joining the mummy ranks!!

So, I'm working on getting the blog set up today. I think my first review is going to be on Gro Bags. Would anyone like to do a guest review? In particular on things like breast pumps, reusable nappies, slings and co-sleeping cots. All things that I don't personally use but would be good to have reviews of. I'd also be happy to use reviews on anything you feel passionately about... for example, you bought something that was rubbish and you want to talk about how rubbish or you bought something which has been absolutely brilliant and you want to sing its praises.

It's still a long way from finished, but the bones of the nursery are there at least! There's glitter in the grey paint, and accents will be mostly pink now to keep it a little more girly. I love her little wardrobe 😍

Potato I'd be up to writing a guest review, once I've found something worthy of one!

Week canters!! 12 days! That's very exciting.

That's ridiculous about costa potato can't believe he didn't acknowledge the head office emails, have you been back on to them?

I'd love to do a guest review as well potato come December!! Speaking of which my sleepyhead and Ewan the dream sheep arrived this morning

feefs I've found that to be a winning combination, you will not regret it!

Thank you for all the advice and kind words ladies. I've been off out this morning with Harrison, came back and OH has sterilised every bottle and my pump and asked me if I would express him one so I can have an early night again. I went to bed at 9 last night and left him a bottle - they didn't come up til after 11! He even settled Harrison down himself so I may have finally gotten through to him after talking to him yesterday. I guess it took me having to tell him that I didn't think he was doing enough to bond for him to realise he should be pulling his weight. I felt awful but Harrison was crying but stopped everyone he passed him to me so I think he saw for himself he needed to bond some more. I asked him why he was off work sick and he still stands by him being poorly. He is slumped on the sofa with a temperature today so I guess I can let him off... hopefully things will start getting better and if not - sod him.

Harrison was weighed yesterday and has gone from being borderline 9th centile born to over 50th but I didn't realise it should have been corrected for him being premature on his growth chart which the health visitor didn't do - I'm not too bothered though as the lady yesterday said it's because he's done so well. He's 11lb 6oz at 7 weeks so is exactly 5lb heavier than he was born.

may your nursery is gorgeous! Very jealous of glitter paint!

potato I'd happily do a review, too! I have a fair few things I love sorry to hear about your car. I cried when I sold my last one

The sweep wasn't possible. The cervix has come forward a bit and is only 1.5cm long and quite soft but still closed. They are very kindly going to try again on Friday for me as it was only just closed so she hopes a couple of days of me bouncing on my ball and some braxton hicks will help and make it possible.
My husband thinks he'll come on 5th, I think 7th..... we shall see!

I have some work to do over the next couple of days now, so the wait shouldn't feel too bad!

Reading, but am stupid. I have no brains. I'm lucky if I finish a sentence on the same subject as I started it on. I'm so tired. And don't feel myself at all. And the dog is being all weird.

And dh's work, Jees, how are men in charge?! How is it so hard to plan a bleeding schedule?!

Loving all the baby news, and all the weight being put on by tinky chunkers! 💙💟💙💗

Glad to hear it miley! Also glad you've gotten through to OH and that Harrison did so well at the weigh in! Sounds like a very positive day!

Sorry you couldn't have the sweep first hopefully the next go is more successful.

With you on the forgetfulness Audrey MIL dropped me off at my breastfeeding class today and I realised I forgot my phone! Class was at the hospital I work at so had to nip into the office and email DH to get him to tell her I'd forgotten it!

Also made the mistake of looking at my neither regions today in a mirror not a pretty sight I think I have a varicose vein.

Will catch up in a minute but need to compare my giant chunk... weighed Bodhi today he is 14lb 8 and 9 weeks old. How does this compare to similar aged babies?! He is 9 weeks and 1 day and in 3-6 months clothes!

nev, Evelyn is 8 weeks old now and we are going to weigh in tomorrow so I will let you know what the scales say!

Potato Arya looked amazing in her wonder woman costume . Grumpy mum reviews is a great name and idea!! I'd definitely be up for reviewing things. Slings and reusable nappies for sure.

Lisa I'm only managing to catch up every couple of days now

Miley yep, to the extent my breastfeeding support group think it might be worth talking to someone about as it's so irrational . Sometimes he just has to walk in the room and I bristle. Though it does sound as though your Oh deserves all the rage directed at him. Hopefully he's on the up now with your latest chat.

Maya the nursery is gorgeous! Amazing Job!

Nev Atticus is 14lb 10z at 12 weeks and 1 day old. Almost growing out of 3-6 months as he's long. Our boys weigh over a stone.
Took little A for his 2nd ims yesterday but as I stupidly mentioned he'd had a cold they took his temp and it was 37.2, so they couldn't do jabs boohiss. He was fine as soon as we got home and they checked again today. We're booked in again for Tuesday. Had my smear today. Despite really dreading it, it was fine, no different to previous smears, so hopefully DTD will be too if OH ever puts out!! Also I'm finally no longer anaemic. Woohoo!
Went to a local mums body shop party today and met loads of local mums and have gained a few more friends on Facebook as a result. It was really lovely. Didn't buy a thing as was too busy chatting and eating cake.

Hope everyone is well.

I've spent my broken nights sleep catching up as I get no time in the day because we're still getting lots of visitors today might be our first day alone but I won't say it out loud in case MIL hears me from across the town and decides to visit

Miley I hope your OH stays engaged. I think most men go through a phase like this. My DH got annoyed at LO making noise in the night and shouted at him. He slept the night in his cot for the first time and I slept on the nursery floor because I removed LO from our room straight away. DH has seen the error of his ways and moved into the spare room having conceded that there is no way LO is going in his own room at 3 weeks old.

Potato I'm pretty sure all of us will do guest reviews for you. I'm practicing my reviewing skills today as I have a pattern review to write for my knitting blog.

DH and I have decided that photos of LO are only going to be posted in social media on my private instagram account. (DH has a high profile in his line of work and has lots of followers and doesn't want his pictures being visible to everyone in the world of his work). For anyone following Cosmoandknits on Instagram, if you want to follow my personal profile, have a look at who Cosmoandknits follows and you'll find my personal profile has the same profile picture at the moment. I only follow a couple of you as I was late to get back into Instagram so would be good to find a few more of you on there.

I'm off to buy some washable breast pads today because I'm going through a rediculous amount of disposables. Is anyone using them? How does the absorption compare to disposables? Trying to decide how many to buy.

I have two packs of the Boots breast pads. I find this is enough for me. I put one pair in my bra in the morning and change them for bed.

cosmo hope the visitors stay away today! I've just followed cosmoandknits and I think I've found your personal profile so have followed that too.

For anyone following me I've just changed my screen name to my married name as it was bugging me, still starts with c though. I'm going to start and post a bit more that's baby related now. potato I've ordered some bits and pieces from various small children's boutiques (clothes and nursery) so would be happy to write guest reviews for those in a month or two!

may to be honest a lot has happened that I haven't posted about on here. About a month ago I finally accepted that I had a touch of antenatal depression and started medication. It kicked in after a couple of weeks and that's when everything started to change for me- I feel like I've woken up and am seeing the world in colour again. I now feel the way about the pregnancy that I think I was supposed to feel all along, which in turn has led to me feeling ready to be a mummy.

Nursery wise- on Instagram I am loving scandiborn, noahandnomi, velveteen babies, Marjorie Minnie, the modern nursery and ginger and may. Lots of lovely ideas between them for now and the future (I desperately want to buy a teepee for little man but it's going to be at least 18 months before it's even remotely appropriate! Le sigh!). Pinterest is also great for ideas though seem to be repinning the same sort of things now.

OH bathed Harrison this morning and even comforted him when he cried although apparently I was 'being nasty' when I prompted him to talk to Harrison when he was hysterical but never mind progress is progress I guess he also took a photo of me and Harrison sleeping this morning which is really cute even though I look horrendous but OH never takes photo's (I don't even have one of me holding my own son that I haven't taken myself)

I'm not sure who I'm following on instagram but my name is molliie_e

I'm now sitting typing away while they play together with Harrison's sensory toys

nev amazing progress by Bodhi! Harrison is 11lb 6oz at 7 weeks - 3 weeks corrected I'm pretty sure he's going to be a bruiser!

bunch poor Atticus! We have our first jabs on Monday and I'm dreading it so much I really need to go get calpol.

co5mo lol at your MIL comment. I always thought mine was lovely until I had Harrison and now I'm finding her a pest. Though I have very little tolerance for just about everyone at the moment! I dread anyone visiting except my mum and dad and their partners.