April 2015 Thread 11: The finish line is in sight as we get closer to maternity leave and our babies!

[BrixtonBunny]

Old thread getting full xx

Chickenme it was my DH that convinced me to breastfeed as I hadn't really thought about it and was going to just use formula. but now i'm totally on board and want to do everything I can to be able to BF. he's also said not to worry if it doesn't work out (as it's unknown if a previous breast lump issue will cause a problem as they don't know if the cysts will affect the milk ducts), and that there's no pressure.
I also felt a bit bad that he won't get to do the nice feeding (unless I can express enough later on) but again he's said not to worry about him, he'll just be happy to spend time with his son and he can have cuddles when i'm done with the feed and can spend time settling him while i go back to sleep/rest.
it's my friends (none of whom have kids) who find BF unusual but I think it's just an age thing.

My DH is having 2 weeks paternity then back to work. they can't cope with him off for more than 2 weeks and the boss has even asked him would he not only have 1 week!!! will save his other anual leave for later in the year to give me a break and also when we go away in Nov/Dec to spain to see my mum.

Taps on the side of the bath is what you ladies need I like putting the hot and cold on and letting the water run on my belly like a waterfall :). It's a slightly L shaped bath so I can relax my legs outwards a bit too.

Mswibble hope you start to feel better soon. I can't imagine going through them feeling again as I had a good 18 weeks of it to begin with!
Love the name Aiofe (have I spelt it right?) and I also like Caoimhe!
My top name for a girl was Dolly definitely a marmite name but I like older names that aren't heard of very much now.

OH will be taking one week paternity leave and then a second week of AL. Its too much of a drop for him to take two weeks on just paternity pay, especially as we've decided I'm saving all my salary from when I start mat leave, rather than contributing to bills as usual. Those last three months where I get nothing will be a total struggle otherwise.

One thing he is worried about is my recovery if for any reason I have a C-section. We didn't realise quite how long the recovery could take and with his job he can't just take extra weeks off or anything to care for me and bambino. Those who have had C-sections before, how long was it until you were fully active again?

fully active? about 8 weeks, but I was able to clean and cope with a 2 year old at 2 or 3 weeks post-section. You just take your time and hope it all falls into place.

My OH is very supportive about BF but he was a little sad when he realised that he wouldn't be able to be involved with the feeding for the first few weeks. I'll definitely be expressing a few bottles worth each day so Daddy can do feeds but in those first few weeks I've read its really important not to use a pump as it can mess up the supply? Not sure as I have read that some women have expressed a week in and not had any probs at all. None of his family have BF so thats why I am a little wary of anyone influencing him as up to now he's all for it. Don't want anyone putting ideas in his head and trying to sway him towards formula. Obviously if I cant BF for whatever reason then we will use formula but I want the time to make sure I give it my best shot without people interfering.

RL yup, thats spelt right! Until I met OH I knew of the name Aoife but had no idea how to actually pronounce it! I think its nice that the Irish one from the Saturdays has chosen Irish names for her two, though Tadgh wouldn't be on my list). Caoimhe is a lovely name but I think its just a step too far for anyone UK based (though I hate the anglicised version Keeva, seems dumbed down to me).

You can tell I've took the plunge and decided to MN at work cant you, I dont think I've ever posted as much!

Mswibble you make a good point actually and I hadn't thought of the eventuality of a possible c-section! You aren't allowed to drive are you? Or so I've heard. A girl I know had a planned c-section 2 weeks ago, and I saw her out food shopping the other day. She looked and seemed ok and said she felt fine when I asked her, although we didn't get into a massive conversation about birth seeing as we were down the pretty busy bread aisle and she also had 1 of her children with her.

Oh that's reassuring ebwy, we both had visions of me laid up in bed for weeks, just being passed the baby every a couple of hours for feeding, and my OH answering my demands for tea and biccies!

After my section last time, (a thurday) i WALKED home on saturday (a 10 minute walk took me 45 minutes pushing the pram)

Ok, i was dosed up on painkillers but it was important for me...

then took it easy for 2 weeks, didn't really go out - also because it snowed and I didn't want to slip, but i was going up and downstairs from bed to sofa... with birth on thursday, two and a half weeks later I then went by myself on the bus to the breastfeeding cafe - this implied bringing the pram and carry cot down (as I live in a top floor flat) and then up again...

exactly 3 weeks after the birth i went to my first mother and baby cinema session (to see The Woman in Black )

So as long as you take the painkillers and the first week or two are well rested, it should be ok to be mobile by yourself after 3 weeks... but note, I didn't have a toddler then... I'll see how it goes this time...

Mswibble i too am posting at work ;) re the BF I've been told by MW that I should wait until 6 weeks before trying to express as the first 6 weeks are when baby and body establish supply and demand and that expressing can affect this natural course.
I've got a BF workshop next week at our local sure start for people wanting more info before baby arrives so i'll ask them.

just had a muller rice and now feel like i'm gonna vom :(

laying around in bed post-caesarian is a bad idea - it'd slow down your healing!

You get up and move to the best of your ability as soon as they let you (DON'T before then) but you stop if you start to feel "pulling" in the wound or pain. You keep up with your pain meds.
They advise "don't lift anything heavier than your baby" but I didn't have much choice - I couldn't leave my 2 year old screaming and bleeding on the ground when he fell into the safety gate!

Don't drive until your insurance says it's ok. Some say it's 6 weeks, others you HAVE to be able to do an emergency stop.

it's a steady progression from "in too much pain to do anything other than feed baby and slowly shuffle to the loo" to "can do most stuff but stop when it starts to hurt" and you don't notice when that last bit stops and you're back to normal in my experience.

I am wondering if I'm going to be up to the 20 min walk of the school run 2 weeks after mine with baby and 2 year old in buggy, but no real choice so I'll have to be. Fiance could take extra time off work for it but I'd rather be up to it myself as we'll need the time he can get off for medical appointments etc instead!

I had the younger beastie on a Wednesday, was released on the Friday (they needed the bed)... the journey home by car was agonising... I felt every single bump and ridge in the road, despite friend (well, he was then.. he's the fiance now!) driving very carefully.

Walking (had we lived near the hospital rather than a half-hour car journey) would have been much better, so I'm jealous of Tinytear for that!

Generally, the longer you're in hospital the better you'll find the journey home so don't push to be released early. It's "usually about 3 or 4 days" according to the hospital I had eldest in, though I was kept longer for monitoring and to make sure I was up to a 4 hour car journey after release - my BP kept shooting up when they tried to release me.

RL- I love Freddie but DH says no. As regards the exercise class, it helps with preg aches and pains so ultimately worth it. The man at your work is just being a nob - not thinking about what he's saying. Try to rise graciously above his stupidity! No I'm not sad about finishing work in a few weeks but then it's different when it's your second I think. On pat leave you mention that two weeks together would drive you both mad - that was certainly our experience with DD.

FiRaffe - love Harriet and Thomas. Too many Thomases in fam already or I would v much like it for this baby.

cinnamon - me too, seems to depend on who I'm talking to. Most of the time I just want to say really? Are we really talking about this again?!

Penguin - stop boasting about leaving work on Thurs! Good luck with your cholestasis blood results.

Mswibble - that's a shocker re the bile. Worth speaking to mw? There might be a permitted remedy? On sections - I was really careful first time around and did very little for weeks. I'm not sure it was necessary! But everyone's different. Sorry that's not v helpful is it.

Lauren - when my DD does a fart she always says don't worry mummy it's just a fart not a poo

Skyra - loving initials of FAB. No words for the spider babies!

Brixton - they've not sorted my replacement either. Not our problem. I have offered to help sieve CVs and make the job ad more specific to weed out the jokers, what more can you do.

Tiny - yes perfectly acceptable to use sock as yoghurt wipe.

Boo - mega LOLZ for you looking angry and unapproachable, I know what you mean come to think of it so I must be the same.

Moomin if you're relying on a man to pick it up, forever. LOLZ for your art installation idea.

Wine - my DH has booked two weeks annual leave as won't have been there long enough to qualify for pat leave (first day today). Tbh I don't really mind as we already have one q expensive holiday booked for October (2 wks in the US) and could do with not losing out on two weeks of his salary if he drops onto rubbish statutory pat leave. I need him more to take care of DD than look after new baby!

Chicken - think DH just assumed I would BF last time and will again this time. It's just the norm in his family - he has three older sisters with three children each. Also he knows better than to form his own opinion, married to me...

Hiding your collegues sound rather tiresome. How ridiculous to comment that someone might feel jealous of a bump! FFS.

That's great Hiding, your DH sounds very on board. According to LLL the biggest factor in success is support.
wine your experience mirrors mine exactly! OH is on side but has been heavily influenced somewhere along the line that he won't be able to bond and he's sad. I keep citing examples of fathers we know with excellent bonds with their kids where the mothers have bf. But it doesn't get thru. His mum didn't bf and I get a little nagging feeling that she is squeamish/anxious about it and hes picked up on that.

at your DH smogs I think mine is the same as in he knows if I'm set on something that's it. It's great that yours has three sisters. A lot of the time men just have far less exposure to babies and their habits and it can make them nervous.

Oh dear Squatting - I hope your DS has a nap today!

DH is being really good about bf. He's not mentioned worrying about bonding with baby, but he's not very good at opening up with stuff like that!

About BFing, I was telling my A-N class that my MWMIL has said and I quote , she "will not let me fail". And they all thought that was a lot of pressure?
But I'd much rather have that than a MIL that's not on board and makes me feel awkward or poisons DH about BFing.
If I "fail" or get to a point where I decide its not for me Im not scared of anyone's judgement. But I really want to BF so I will take advantage of the encouragement.

Big news here:
The sock has gone, I repeat, the sock has gone!!

wine my dh will have his two weeks paternity and that's it. I'd love him to be around longer to entertain dd1 whilst I feed dd2 but so be it.

Bye bye sock!!!

But moomin, what about the art installation?

reading all your posts i've just realized i've not even had a conversation about BF with my hubby, i've just presumed i'll try and if i cant i cant. My family presumed id BF. i assume his family must have BF too but ill ask now.
My mum made an interesting point about breastfeeding on my meds if there was a risk to baby. I meant to ask at my renal/obstetric clinic yesterday but got distracted by all the drama. I told the doctors about my poor vision, how id been to the midwives and seen another doctor at the same clinic about it but no one was bothered as all pregnancy related tests come back fine and its been the same for weeks.
Well these two docs did their nut, were very concerned and wanted me to go to a&e at another hospital immediately. I said no way, its been ignored for two weeks by all the professionals so clearly isn't an emergency, now ive got to go to the eye hospital Friday morning.
Its made me realize i don't trust midwives, they were all so nonchalant and distant/clinical for the doctors to react so seriously on the same matter is ridiculous. Doesnt help i've not seen the same midwife twice despite having to go every week.
The baby had grown a bit on the growth scan so that was a positive within the rest of the madness

Names for us is hardwork, Hubby wants names to have a meaning, all the names i like sound stupid with his accent (however minimal) and will sound ten times worse with his family in nigeria and i wouldnt want that for the kid, so we are still in discussions. He is only bothered by boys names which concerns me as i know he obviously wants a boy but we don't know what we are having!Tried to bring it up again yesterday with no outcome! sigh men!!

wine DH is taking the two weeks paternity plus a week annual leave, then I'm on my own with the girls :S DH still has this idea in his head that he's going to have plenty of time for playing on the computer etc, he spent most of his paternity leave with DD playing on the computer, but his parents were there to pick up the slack but I will have no qualms about having his parents come fetch his computer monitor if he's taking the piss, I will need him to be giving DD infinite fuss and attention whilst her new sister and I are getting to grips with breast-feeding as she's not used to sharing the limelight...

chicken DH is humouring my desire to breastfeed whilst making the occasional slide remark about the fact that I didn't manage very long with DD and perhaps we should get some formula, I have taken to a demonic growl and a "Buy formula and I will kill you" as a response. Though, I think he'd be relieved if I do manage it, as it would make feeding and bottles one last thing he'd need to shirk responsibility for...

Bloody DH is in the bad books again today, last night I went to do the dishes after dinner and he said "Don't worry about it, I'll do it in a bit" to which I did openly laugh, but managed to gloss over it as a laugh of relief that I could relax rather than an assumption that hell would freeze over first. Surprise surprise I went into the kitchen this morning, half an hour before his parents arrived to find all the washing up from last night, plus a bit extra on the side... I couldn't leave it because a) him mum would have done her nut and b) every single saucepan and the only frying pan in the house was on the side so I wouldn't be able to cook dinner tonight

ex-nurse MiL had her best 'oh shit' face on when I mentioned all of my drinking + exhaustion symptoms and my hypochondriac conclusion of gestational diabetes, she's insisted that I demand blood tests when I see the midwife tomorrow, a far throw from the 'don't be daft' I was hoping for

Also I am addicted to this thread about funny experiences in childbirth...

Boo do get tested... it's not too hard - although I admit I haven't been as strict as I was with DD - bad me