Bust building up your core muscles might help a lot with the back ache, are there any pregnancy fit type classes near you? They really helped me last time and it's about the right time to be starting them now.
On breastfeeding I was really scared of it during my last pregnancy, mainly whether I would be able to do it as I was convinced my milk wouldn't come in or something. In the end I fed DS for 18 months and loved it, hope to do the same or longer with this one.
I was very lucky in that it was never painful in the slightest even at the start (actual feeding that is, the pump sometimes made my nipples a bit sore) so you might get no pain at all, but lots of people do get some pain at the start until things settle down. I was hugely anxious about it for the first few weeks though as DS had some health issues in the early weeks and had trouble latching, I obsessed over how much he was getting, how long & often I was feeding and did lots of expressing to build up supply and provide top up feeds so it was exhausting. Once I had relaxed and DS got the hang of it it was easy, cheap, convenient and lovely so I'm very glad I persevered. However a few things to be prepared for:
- You can't tell how much they are getting and control it as you can with formula so to a certain extent you have to relax and 'go with the flow' i.e. trust that if they are alert and gaining weight ok then all is well even if they're not feeding for 20 minutes / both sides at every feed / every 2 hours or whatever the (slightly out of date) advice from the midwife might be. In hospital with DS the midwife told me he needed to be feeding at least 20 minutes on each side every 3 hours or I would need to top up with formula or expressed milk. Total nonsense I later discovered but caused me lots of stress. There is no real pattern with breastfed babies, they are all different and it can make you very anxious if you try to track and monitor every feed so my advice would be it's usually not necessary or helpful.
- Yes to being prepared for cluster feeding. Embrace spending most of your evenings glued to the sofa and feeding almost constantly for the first month or 2 (and then every now and again after that when they have a growth spurt), get in some good series boxsets and enjoy the enforced feet up time (have plenty of drinks and snacks to hand or a helpful DP to fetch them for you). I'm not sure how I'm going to manage it with a 3 year old to get to bed but I'm sure we'll find a way!
- As others have said joining a breastfeeding support group is great for helping to get you through the early bit and any other blips on the way, like I say for me it was well worth it to persist through the tough bits but it's hard to do without support.
- It can hurt a bit to start with as baby learns what to do and your nipples toughen up, but you shouldn't be in agony. If you are consistently in agony with it or have bleeding nipples do get someone to look at the latch and for tongue tie as soon as possible.
- Be aware that health professionals, GPs especially, are often not very clued up on breastfeeding or even current NHS advice so don't be put off if they are less than helpful or supportive. La leche league or local breastfeeding groups are generally better for breastfeeding advice.
- Like others have said it can feel like there's a lot of pressure from midwives etc. to breastfeed and it helps to find a way to tune it out. Yes it can be great, but formula can be a better option and certainly shouldn't feel like a failure. If it is making you stressed or unhappy or you just don't want to do it then formula is a perfectly good alternative and knowing that you ahem that option can make the whole process less stressful. Mixed feeding can also give you and your boobs a break (although I would suggest not to mix feed in the first 2 weeks at least to allow you to build up supply) and is certainly possible despite what some sources will advice.
Sorry for the mammoth post. Thanks for the new thread!