July '15 - starting our 2nd trimester

[StoneBaby]

Please come and join

Hi everyone hope all is ok. Does anyone have an experience in sleep walking? I've started doing it this week although I've only done it once, hubby thought I was going to get up again last night, it worrying me because I actually started walking down the stairs on Monday night until my hubby found me. He goes away on Monday with work for 2 nights. Any advice/experiences would be much appreciated xxx

Hello all! Will catch up later.

Awful nights sleep, and now at work for long slog. Hope I get through the day!

Do any of you have experience with postnatal doulas/maternity nurses? My mil has offered to pay forus to have one, as her cousin does it. Thought it might be good in first couple of days when we have no idea what we are doing but at same time don't want her to invade our space! (She would stay overnight with us). DH cousin used her recently and was against the idea but said it was fab. Apparently she normally stays go 2 weeks but DH cousin ha her for 3 days which she said was jut right. Any ideas ladies?

Hope you all have a lovely day!

want I am seriously thinking about a doula for during the birth and for a week or so afterwards.
DH is lovely but possibly a bit too nice and will not want to "trouble the midwives" and I would prefer to have someone there who has a clue (my mum is not an option, I love her but she has a big mouth and 1 minute after the birth she would be texting all and sundry the gory details ).
I also don't think my DH is going to cope too well. He will hate seeing me in pain and he has mentioned not being there for the birth. I know it's very 1950s but I would prefer him not to be there if he doesn't want to be , IYSWIM? I think he feels he has to be there though.

Also, I wold really appreciate the help for the first few days, especially with BF.

Ooh I would LOVE a post-birth doula WantTo, I would definitely take your MIL up on that one. From what I hear they are usually very unobtrusive but will just ensure you can do exactly what you need to do - rest, recover and bond with baby, without all the stress of feeling abandoned with this tiny thing you have no clue how to look after! I imagine they can also help to keep visitors to a manageable level, great support with breastfeeding and allow you to catch up on a bit of sleep with confidence that your baby is cared for by an expert goes off to google the cost of a post-natal doula

Bust no experience with sleepwalking I'm afraid, that does sound a bit alarming! Hope it's just a one off.

Pregnancy seems to have put me into a new pattern of waking up at 3 and 5 every night. DS slept through last night but I wasn't able to make use of it because of all the night waking, so annoying! Still, at least I am working from home today so I don't have to face the long commute and standing on the station in the freezing cold.

I've just registered for pregnancy yoga.

What do you wear for yoga?? Never done this before

Leggings or joggers and a t shirt or vest stone :) enjoy it!

I'm doing fitmummy twice a week and love it! It's run by someone local who started it as there are few antenatal classes in the evenings, they all seem to be in the day and presume people who have babies don't work.

I'm also doing daisy birthing classes and nct.

fleur ideally would love to have my mum stay with us (she will be there for birth) but with her being a doctor and all she can't drop everything at short notice. She has booked a week annual leave from my due date but who knows when baby will come so think it will be nice to be sure we have someone to help us! Not having doula at the birth, will have my mum who handily is an ob-gyn, and DH :)

Think will let mil we want the doula but only for 3 days. No idea how much they cost... Maybe we will get mates rates as it's family?!

Id love a doula if we could afford one. Anything to take the pressure off in those early days would be fab. However I actually felt like the first couple of weeks were relatively 'easy' and passed by in a haze of post birth endorphins and it was about 3-4 weeks in, when DH was back at work and the exhaustion had set in, and the visitors had dried up, and I realised that it takes a long time for babies to be able to tell the difference between day and night that I really could have done with some help.

Thanks for everyone for advice on slings and pushchairs have been following it but still totally clueless. I will drag DH to test drive a few at some point. However, I still feel so exhausted all the time it's hard to know when to go.

Just had 16 week appointment with mw and listened to baby's heartbeat. She said that the guidelines were to listen from 25 weeks but that mums like to hear it so she does it anyway! She is really lovely though and I can imagine others being a bit more by the book etc.

Grrr I'm sure my mw next week will be by the book. I found myself looking at dopplers on amazon last night... Lucky you, kilicat - glad all is well!

Good idea, stone, re the DIY changing table tray - I had wondered if that might work. Perhaps between us, DH and I can manage the requisite DIY (not our strongest point, truth be told!)...

I don't know if I would want someone at home with me straight after coming home from hospital. But you have to base it on how you feel. I'm having a bit of a dilemma with what to do about my family as they all live far away so would need to stay. They wouldn't be any trouble and would help out but I loved having a few days just me Dh and dd1 when she was born. We didn't have the issue last time as my family didn't visit (long complicated story) so don't know what to do. I know my mum will want to come up as she didn't meet dd1 until she was nearly 4 months old last time.

Feeling really quite stressed with work today. I've so much to do and so little time to do it in, and when it gets like that I just end up burying my head in the sand and procrastinating instead I'm not well either which is not helping, just wish this stupid cold and sore throat would go away.

I have a consultant appointment in a couple of weeks because of my fibroid (such a horrible word!).
Do you think I will get another scan at the same time? Do you think DH should come too?

Mmmm, interesting on the doula discussion. I don't think I would want one. Those first few days, just you three, are so special and time you'll never get back. I would feel as though another party staying with us for all that time - after possibly two nights in hospital - would hinder the bonding between baby and us in those first few essential days and weeks. Even if it was my mum or sister, I'd feel like that, let alone anyone else. Oh, yes, it's hard work and no one - not even those who are close to their nieces, nephews, best friend's kids etc and babysit or look after them regularly - can possibly be prepared for what it's like when it's your own so I can see the appeal in getting help but you honestly do muddle through and it works. I'd never changed a nappy before I had dd, breastfed or put a baby to bed but it comes naturally. Plus, don't forget the mw comes round a few times after you've left hospital, then you're signed over to the health visitor who visits a few times, as well as family and friends, so you'd have a whole house load when you need peace the most. The toughest time, I agree with whoever said this, is when dh goes back off to work and the visitors have dried up...

fleur I would guess, he'll do a scan to check on the fybroid so you may have a sneaky pic at baba

If you're considering a doula or similar, how about for when your other half goes back to work? Or have the doula from the start and get your husband to take any paternity leave starting a week or so later? That way you get help for longer and dont have three adults in the house at once.

Think my sister will likely come and stay which will be a great help, though bringing my lovely toddler nephew may not be quite so restful!!!

Morning ladies, had my BP checked this morning and for once it is behaving! 134/72 which is blooming amazing for me.
Hoping I don't end up on Labetalol and Methyldopa like last time, i'm just on Methyldopa and aspirin at the moment.

Personally after my children were born I didn't want anyone in the house with me. Couldn't even stand family coming round and would shoo them out at the earliest opportunity!

I know i'm mean, but I felt very possessive over my babies and didn't want to feel like I had to get dressed or tidy up for anyone either.

I was pissed off the other day when my mother let herself in to my house and made herself a cup of tea and sat on my settee waiting for me to return from work haha!!

That's not mean number - that's how I felt too. Exhaustion from hospital, plus forming the family unit and our bond, working out stuff...all needed to be done early days by us. Although I did appreciate my sister in law bringing a yummy casserole with her when they came. And luckily, they had a one year old and so they knew to keep their visit short and sweet...unlike other relatives

Hmm, perhaps a doula on call

My MIL will want to come down for a few days once the baby is here. I am considering putting her in a local hotel. It seems mean but I will not want her around 24/7 if I am leaking blood and milk but I don't want to tell her not to come at all.
Plus my mum goes on holiday the day before my due date so it will be good to have her nearby.

broody and number I was the same. Especially if you end up with an extended hospital stay for whatever reason it's nice to be left alone when you get home. I found it much more relaxing trying to get to grips with bf with no one else around.

broodylicious it was my birthday the day I came home from hospital with DS. My Dad brought me chocolate cake, I appreciated that haha.

My mum will be over for the birth as she'll be taking care of DS while I'm in hospital and DH at work. I just need to decide how long I want her to stay after I'm out (and to tell her without upsetting her)

I have checked and a local hotel is £80 a night. She would only be sleeping there/ killing some time there.
She's not going to take it well is she? Think I need to broach this sooner rather than later

My parents have cancelled their holiday since finding out (it was a month long cruise) I feel awful, but its right around the due date and they want to be on hand to help with my other little terrors angels (plus I would not have ANYONE seeing the baby before them either so if baby arrived during that time we wouldn't be seeing friends etc or DH family)

At the birth it will just be me and DH (maybe 2 or 3 kids asleep upstairs in bed if at night, but mum will be on call incase we have to transfer in) otherwise kids will be with them.

Afterwards my little terrors angels will be shipped off for a day out with Nou Nou and Ampa (my mum and dad) so we can have lots of snuggles and some recovery time.

I wouldn't feel at all comfortable with a stranger around and guess I wouldn't of been after the birth of my 1st either, I do know ladies that have had maternity nurses or doulas and they raved about the experience and said the help and knowledge was invaluable, I guess for me I just like it to be us bonding with our new addition.

I also ban most visitors until I decide its ok, cant stand people just showing up.

I'm sure MIL and FIL will come for their obligatory visit (wont be allowed to hold baby as heavy smokers) then they will disappear into the night again (FIL came the day after DD was born and has never been back since) arse

Fleur my IL's live in Spain. Without asking they booked to come over for a weekend after my due date last time. I told them to reschedule as baby might not even have been born then (and wasn't, it turned out) and also insisted they book a bed and breakfast. There's no way I was having overnight house guests when DD was just a few days old. Even with them staying in a B&B it was hard work as they saw the trip as a holiday and turned up at ours with crates of wine etc and were expecting to sit around all night drinking/celebrating.

I wouldn't want a post birth doula immediately, personally. I think having one after the paternity leave ends is a great idea though.

With DC1, mind you, my mum did come down straight away when we got out of hospital at 5 days - she stayed with a friend who lived nearby, & did the food shopping/cooking/cleaning etc so we could just snuggle with the baby! And with DC2, my mum did lots of entertaining of DC1 so we could snuggle with DC2… So it is useful to have an extra pair of hands around. Just not sure I would want it to be someone I didn't really know.

I've told my parents they aren't allowed to go away, or have to stagger their holidays (they are divorced so this is possible!) during the whole of July and August so they can help me out during the school holidays!