March Mummies 2015 - ever hopeful for the return of sanity and departure of sickness as we approach second tri!

[lotsoftoast]

New thread - think this is number 4?! Can someone post the link to the stats please? Thank you

I personally don't think these tests can really tell you or prepare you, my step sister went through her pregnancy being told to prepare for a Down syndrome baby, she wasn't bothered at all and was fine with it, had her son who was born normal (I say normal in the lightest way and only because I don't know how else to phrase it so please no1 take offence or think I'm being rude) and on the other hand I have a friend who was told everything was fine and low risk etc, her son was born Down syndrome and has heart problems amongst other things, he's had numerous ops and will need plenty more!

This makes me dubious to believe these things and just see what happens! Either way there will be a gorgeous loving child to take care of and raise

I'm obv taking the harmony test outta the equasion

I think that the thing that really bothers me about all these tests, is there is no way of knowing to what extent a child will be affected by a condition until long after they are born. Even if we are just talking about Downs, there is a huge amount of variation. I've worked with kids with Downs who are non-verbal, very severe learning difficulties, health problems etc. and also those who are minimally affected and live a pretty 'normal' life. Some chromosomal abnormalities are so rare that there is no way at all of knowing what, if any, effects there might be on baby. There are also so many things that can happen that can't be picked up prior to birth: autism, learning difficulties etc. People say they couldn't cope with a child with disabilities but what happens then when baby turns out to have autism? I don't know, I know everyone is different, but I feel people aren't being given enough information or are being told the worst case scenario. I work in a specialist school for children with autism. Only two of the kids in the school have another condition which could have been detected before birth. I hate to think of the possibility of these incredible young people not being given a chance at life. They may not grow up to be doctors or lawyers, but they have happy, fulfilled lives for the most part and bring so much joy to others.

The thought of having an amnio or CVS test is terrifying to me, I'm a wuss! So knowing that I wouldn't terminate based on disability makes it an easy decision for me not to even consider those tests. I can understand some people feeling they need to know though.

Sorry for the long ramble!

Hi all, can I join please :D

According to the doc and my consultant (who are working off dates of my last period) I'm about 12 weeks just now, due early March. Not sure entirely though as my periods were just getting back to normal after coming off contraceptive injection (think I had 3 regular) when they stopped again.

We've paid for an early reassurance scan, so go for that tomorrow morning. Just to reassure me that there is actually something there (although I dont suppose 5 positive clearblue digitals can be wrong?) and see how far on we are.

First time pg, we're both so excited! And nervous, and completely sh*ttin it etc.

He keeps telling me to calm down because I'm so nervous. I feel its a big responsiblity for us woman to carry a baby. I'm terrified in case I move the wrong way, sneeze too hard etc. Normal first time mum worries?

Also, I have crohn's disease, rheumatoid arthritis, 4 recto-vaginal fistulas and one bowel to bladder fistula. So my consultant has said this will be classed as a high risk pregnancy, I'll have to have a section, and more frequent scanning due to my medication. First antenatal app is next Thursday.

Scary, but exciting times ahead!

Hope you're all good

Also, can anyone tell me what kind of family medical history they ask for at first appointment? My DP cant make it due to prior work commitments. I'm not fussed about going alone, but I'd like to be prepared for anything she asks.

He has asthma, my crohns etc things like that?

Can you opt for the harmony after your 12 week scan? I would rather have the harmony test rather than a CVS/Amnio. There is another test exactly the same as harmony. Harmony is just a brand name and you can get it for about 450 in my area.
I know this may upset a few but I think we would terminate if baby had downs. Reason being is that us as parents couldn't cope with a disability and I need to think of DS in the future when we're gone. I don't want him with the 'burden' of ensuring his disabled brother or sister is okay. I know there are some disabilities that you cannot test for, but for those that you can gives parents a choice to make that is best for their family.
I am against abortion for social reasons, for me, though I would never judge or become negative towards anyone who did choose to abort for social reasons. I know several people who have done this.

Welcome Gudgyx. They ask for all medical history for you and your partner as well as parents/grandparents/siblings. Not interested in aunts/uncles/cousins.

Welcome gudgy

It's just the same medical history they ask you for any kind off doc/hosp appointment, history of heart disease etc etc!

Junk I know what your meaning when you say that, can't say I'd do the same but we all have our own reasons and know our own limitations and what we could or couldn't handle

Gudgy my midwife only seemed to want to know about our parents, siblings and us. Asked about diabetes, genetic conditions and the normal stuff. Can't remember everything but you'll probably find the questions online somewhere. I asked MIL directly as DH isn't very good at remembering that kind of thing. He also wasn't aware of some of his family's problems.

Actually they are interested in aunts, uncles, cousins. When you get your green notes there is a list of conditions to tick for both your and your partners families and it says that siblings, parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and first cousins apply. My husband and I visited both our parents and got the answers to these questions prior to my booking in appointment.

Please don't take this as judgement because it isn't, but can I just say I don't know of a single sibling of someone disabled who feels that the care of their sibling will be a burden. I see incredible family bonds and almost universally these young people feel that their lives are much improved for having their disabled sibling around. I'm not anti-choice at all. And I understand that people have to make their own decisions. I had a termination a few years ago at 5 weeks. I was not ready at all to be a parent and felt like my life was over. I will never regret that decision. I just know that personally I couldn't terminate a planned pregnancy based on disability. But I know my experience helps.

Coastergirl I wonder why my notes and midwife asked differently then. Maybe different health authorities ask different things?

I personally wouldn’t abort for downs but I completely understand your reasoning junk. I’m glad people have the choice to make the right decision for their circumstances and family.

Welcome gudgy. From memory it’s mainly questions about your own health but there is a section asking if any immediate family (parents, siblings, cousins, grandparents) have heart disease, diabetes, sickle cell, recurrent miscarriages, clotting disorders etc. I remember those ones because they were all relevant to me. Also family background and if any grandparents were born in a different country. This can affect whether you get additional tests for certain conditions which are more prevalent in some areas of the world than others.

ToAvoid I started doubting myself then ;-) Came downstairs to check my green notes thinking I was going crazy(er). Under the Family History section it says "The term 'family' here means blood relatives only - e.g. your children, your grandparents, brothers and sisters, uncles and aunts and their children (i.e. first cousins). I thought it must have though because the midwife was concerned about cousins in both of our families, particularly mine. My cousin was born with a serious heart defect.

It is odd that it's different. I've looked all over the booklet and there's no indication that it's any different in different authorities. Are you in England? This looks like it's used throughout the NHS. I find it so strange that they consider different things to be relevant. It's like the differing advice on foods to avoid etc. Just goes to show how much more research is needed!

My cousin was also born witha heart defect but my mw said it's too far removed so she didn't need to document it. Must be different depending on your pct. I did medical law at uni and the postcode lottery is really shocking. Can recommend a good book by one of my lecturers if anyone's remotely interested!

Hopefully this attachment works!

We declined nt screening - nt measurement was 1.4 and we didn't want to do bloods so left it at that

Now due 14/3 but have a date to go back to book my section for 39 weeks

Great news toast I got my combined test results which showed I was low risk (1 in over 39k). Given my age is 1 in 108 I needed to know. If I have been high risk I would have opted for harmony I think. Having had 2 mcs even the 1% risk with amnio would have been unthinkable. I all honesty I have no idea what I would do if test came back positive. Thankfully I am not faced with that

I must log on properly as I can't be scan photos on the app. I love scan photos

Told my DM today. She asked if it was planned

Thank you ladies, that's good know!

I think we have the asthma and crohns, both my grandmothers have diabetes and one of my first cousins. Another one of my cousins, when she and her partner started ttc, she lost 4 babies because of something to do with her and his bloods rejecting each other? Would I tell them that or is that just their situation?

Ill check with mil before next week and ask her more info, my dp wont have a clue.

Cant wait for this scan tomorrow so I can relax a bit!!

Lovely scan pic toast

I haven't read all posts yet, so need to. But I had the NT test. They told me the size of the fluid straight away and was told it's be a week to 10 days for full results via letter combined with blood test. But if there's a problem they phone. My sister got a bad results with an 8mm fold and it should be under 3.5mm for 'normal'. Her baby wasn't viable
And she had to terminate at 17 weeks. Pretty awful so I'd prefer to know. Plus our region does the harmony test for free if you're more than 1 in 1000 risk as they're running a big trial for it. Which is a bonus.

Nice pic toast

We are having the NT and bloods but not thought much last that stage, tend to take things as they come. I think DH is probably a bit more of the opinion we could cope with a disability but we have not really discussed it yet. I have no idea how I would feel until in that situation.

The questions sound similar to here in NZ and I could answer no to everything - none of my family know yet so when I do tell them I will double check with dm and Dmil that I was right to answer no! I am pretty sure I was. My mum had a still born at 8 or 9 months but back in 70s it was dealt with the different to now.. (In fact they took the baby away without letting her hold her and she never got her back to burry or cremate!) midwife didn't ask that and it probably has no influence on me since she has since had 3 other healthy babies.

Oh and welcome Gudgy :)

My scan letter was waiting for me when I got home. It's the bloody week we are on holiday. At 7pm on a friday when I will already be nearly 14 weeks. FFS. This is despite the midwife writing on the form the dates that I'm away and that I'm already 10 weeks

r.e. notes and medical history Then it must depend on the authority. I ticked stuff for my uncle and aunt and MW crossed it off as said it is not important when it's relatives that far removed, despite as coastergirl said, it is in the small print above the section on page 3.
persepolis123 how many weeks will you be on your return?

Toast your scan picture is beautiful

Junk that is strange. maybe it's to do with the individual midwife. Mine wrote everything down, down to a cousin of my husband's having an extra digit!

Persepolis that's so frustrating! Hope you get a better date.