On childcare thoughts, I'm actually just in the process of moving J from a nursery to a CM so that when I return to work after this one they can be looked after together rather than being in different nursery classes. This is very much my experience and there are some great nurseries out there and some poor ones, and conversely there are some poor childminders and some great ones - so this is just what I've experienced and shouldn't be seen as a generalisation!
I was very pro nursery when I had J but I've changed my mind since he started at nursery last November. Firstly, he's struggled to settle (he's still teary at drop off 9 months later, which just goes against all of your instincts - leaving your child crying and going to work is just horrible, he's a very cuddly boy but he's not shy by any means - he's actually really outgoing normally). Secondly, whenever I see nursery groups out and about in town (regardless of which nursery) I'm dismayed to see tots being lead silently by seemingly surly looking teenage girls who are busy texting on their phones and don't even seem to be trying to communicate with their little charges. Also they spend a lot of time in their home rooms which can be very small and if you have an adventurer - I think they can be unhappy being so couped up. I'm not impressed with the education of those looking after him - I know this makes me sound like an awful snob - but if you can't spell argh I don't want you trying to teach my son how to spell!!!
J is in the top rated nursery in town but I'm not impressed, they've messed up his diet so many times feeding him stuff he's allergic to (god forbid he had an anaphylatic reaction!), the staff are very young and there's huge churn and I'm increasingly unconvinced about formal age cohort nursery for some very little kids. I mean he's going to spend from 5-18 in formal age cohort organised education anyway, I'd really rather he was just playing and loved now in a home from home environment, rather than box ticking on a curriculum and 'learning plan'. Especially when you consider that those countries where formal education starts later have much higher educational outcomes.
We are half way through the settling in process and he seems to love the CM so much more - she's an older lady who's strict but very motherly and he's one of three she'll be looking after. He's not cried at drop off yet with her. But bundles in happily for a hug. I was initially wary of a CM because of child protection issues - as there's no one to watch over them day to day, but I think if you can find a CM who comes highly recommended - then that would be my personal preference. He knows every day who is going to be looking after him and he is forming a bond with her, we don't have local grandparents so its lovely he is essentially getting a surrogate one, she is a pro at dealing with allergies, she takes them out fruit picking, to the aquarium, to toddlers, bookbugs, the park - not just on random drags around town to tire them out before naptime (which seems to be what nurseries here do), she's looked after kids for 20 years and importantly, for me anyway, she has kids of her own. Once you've kids of your own I think most people become much more empathetic with children generally. Finally the behaviour of the kids in the care of the CM was much better than those in the nurseries we visited (and we visited every nursery in a 15 mile radius)!
I'm sure for some kids nursery is the better option but for us it seems to be a CM. This is very much just our personal experience, excuse the diatribe but it's a bit of a bugbear at the moment as I'm mid settling in process which is tough with a new job and all the blimmin diabetes appointments - I wish I'd known about this lady last year! Thankfully she will have a space for the baby when I go back to work next autumn and baby will be able to spend the next year slowly getting to know her as I'm going to send J for one day and 2 half days a week whilst on maternity, so hopefully it'll be easier. Oh and CM are usually cheaper too!