Just asked to join the group! My initials are CC.
Though hope the MN thread stays alive! I found the thread kind of died down on the last antenatal thread I was on once a break off FB group started. The FB group was way too fast and intense for me and eventually imploded and was shut down (for reasons I never quite understood - I didn't have the time to pay attention!).
Interesting about DH/DPs thoughts. I think it's worth asking their thoughts (if only to get them thinking about the whole thing!), and them learning about the process, what they can do to help, what pain relief is on offer etc. We did a hypnobirthing course first time around and totally loved it (including my extremely skeptical DH!) and that has a lot of focus on birth partners, protecting the birthing woman's space etc
But I think that as the woman going through the actual labour and birth then our opinions/wishes are most important. Partners are there to support, not boss around! But definitely worth discussing things like baby care, feeding, parenting philosophies before bubs comes along - I found the NCT classes great for airing these sorts of topics.
I did find that DH was quite traumatised by my first birth - I was kind of distracted (I zone out while labouring) but he was dealing with all the stress of the midwives and doctors, and the awful traces from the monitor, and the decision to get the baby out right now. Then during the actual section I was so in love with the anaesthetist (honestly he was like a magician who made the pain disappear!) that I just chatted to him mostly while DH was far more aware of being scrubbed up and in theatre and aware of worries about our son's breathing etc.
He definitely found the vbac a better experience. I think having a doula definitely helped with that though, she freed him up to actually focus on me more but also did invisible things like know exactly when either of us needed a drink of water or a snack.
Note to self: start looking for a doula.