August 2014: growing bumps and 20 week scans!!!

[Owlysims]

New thread!!!

mssleep I'm similar. I just can't believe this is going to turn out ok, and the recent concerns about blood flow to the placenta raised at the 20 week scan are not helping at all.

Ilovemonsters... this may not be relevant due to your ds other illnesses but when my dd was younger she had awful constipation and the gp did nothing apart from prescribe lactose but she was in so much pain someone recommend alternative therapies. Then I would never has believed it would work (not my thing at all) but was prepared to try anything.

We saw a medicinal herbalist that weekend and she was amazing. Talked for ages about my dd what she was like and her diet (tho diet was not the main focus), then gave us some foul herbal medicine that she made specifically for her. ...within 36 hours she had "been" and things were more or less normal fron then on. She continued with the medicine for a few weeks after that (she needed a jelly baby to take the taste away).

it made me so cross that the gp just dismissed her pain and discomfort as something that just happens when in the end it was so easy to resolve.

The one we went to was a charity run children's clinic I Sussex. Pm if you think this may help your ds or want more details. For our circumstance as well as many other ailments I can't recommend them highly enough.

They were also willing to just chat to a friend whose older dd had more complex problems and look to work in conjunction with her medical needs as well.

hope his helps

Thanks weeza and mssleepy.

I'm in my first year since being an NQT weeza. I can understand your frustrations lol. It is a pretty steep learning curve being an NQT. Definitely naughty of your school to use you as NQT support when NQTs are supposed to have proper mentors.

mssleepy - what age group do you teach? I'm primary - year 1 currently. Not looking forward to getting up early next week! I need way more sleep these days! The kids are pretty fascinated with my baby news though. Took me by surprise when one child asked, 'but how do you know you are having a baby?!' Hehe.

Topmammy - I'm NQT+1 too, but teach secondary school. Work in an all girls state school and the girls are so into the pregnancy. It's like having 150 midwives with me all day; they're full of tips and advice!

Thanks to everyone who said they're feeling nervous too. I wish I could just relax and "enjoy" this, but even with this little kicks getting stronger, I'm so nervous about something happening : (

misssleepyhead I feel exactly the same as you, I have periods of days where I'm optimistic, happy and excited and then the dreaded 'what ifs' start, and I start reading about horrendous outcomes online. Every stage brings new fear, now I'm 23 weeks its premature labour, inter uterine death, stillbirth. Its just horrible, and I feel bad I can't relax and enjoy the pregnancy fully.

I just keep thinking how I'll cope if anything goes wrong, what damage would it do to my relationship and yes it makes it worse when everyone else is excited and buying stuff for the baby and talking about when shes here. I can feel her moving and stuff now aswell and I think it makes it worse as some days she moves more than other! It also makes me quite depressed this worry will never go away even when shes here (I've always been a worrier, mum always tells me I worry too much), as have had friends/known people who have lost babies at different stages, a friend of my mums lost her 2 year old DD and my friends auntie had a stillborn DD :( It really plays on my mind sometimes, I have to tell myself such an outcome is really really unlikely and to try to get on with it. My pregnancy is low risk aswell and I am young, in good shape and healthy yet still worry like mad. Wish I had the answer to it, I feel your pain! xxxx

Your right about the worry doesn't go away. I fought really hard to keep my beautiful ds alive and I feel like Im going down that route again. My poor lil man is in pain and no hcp cares as tests cost too much
If you go back a few pages you will see my post about mothers instinct.
How is everyone?

Missleepyhead and 22honey, I have been fairly stress free but had a friend talk to me about his wifes c. Section and although he said how straightforward it was it gave me the worst nightmares, I have been up since 4am. I know there is a chance I will have to have one and there is nothing I can do but its rubbish when my subconscience is more stressed than me. Topmammy, I also work with year 1 but so far have not told children and had no comments from them or parents but I thing when I go back with the size of me it will ease the 'is she,isn't she' they may have been feeling as I feel huge and am already 26 weeks. Off for big family birthday today with 22 of us, 9 children so a busy afternoon, hopefully get everyone out of house to park if the sun stays out

thanks everyone for sharing your worries too. 22honey - i think it's harder when you know people who have been through experiences like that. two colleagues of mine have lost their babies well into their pregnancies, and i can't shake it off.

but, as my dh and family keep telling me, i can't dwell on it and have to try and relax, for me and baby. i just wish i knew how!

little one gave us quite a show this morning kicking my tummy and have just been filming it to send to far-away grandparents. makes it feel much more real when you can see little bits moving around in there!

Worries will always be there; it's natural.

My cousin and his girlfriend lost their baby during labour when I was 20 ish weeks' pregnant with DD. I alternated between being scared and feeling guilty that I was still pregnant. I know of other mid-late losses too.

But...they are very rare, and statistics are on the side of having a perfectly healthy baby at the end of the pregnancy.

With regard to a CS, I had an EMCS which was very straight forward and matter of fact (and started about 10 minutes after they decided I needed it, on a Sunday lunchtime when they'd obviously had to summon everyone to theatre. We were very impressed!). Don't be worried about having a section at all. They're there to protect baby and mother ultimately.

I'll be having an ELCS this time and am looking forward to it being much calmer than DD's birth as there won't have been the failed labour / getting lodged in pelvis issues we had then.

You never stop worrying once you're pregnant, and then it continues once they're born, in a different way. As long as it's 'normal' worry and not all-encompassing / obsessive then it's totally natural and part of parenthood. :-)

Weeza, have you come across Juju Sundin's book birth skills? It's mostly about natural pain management methods but there's a chapter in there covering epidural/c section births, with some lovely, positive real life stories. The whole book made me feel much more positive and confident, and that chapter in particular might give you some material to counteract the less positive stories you've heard.

I have that book jess.

Will look it up Jess, thanks

i have that book too - haven't read it yet but have flicked through it and really like the look of it. it seems empowering but realistic!

Did you know mn do a pregnancy book. Bought it when I was having ds1. Not the most useful but mainly quotes and advice from mners

I'm trying to work out maternity pay today. Why do they have to make it so confusing?

Disney, I agree it is a bit of a headache - at the moment trying to work out how much annual leave I can take before the birth. We're trying to sort out extended paternity leave too which makes it even more complex.

i made an appointment with my HR rep to discuss it all on thurs. I better think of any questions asap and get them noted down

You can calculate your basic maternity pay here: www.gov.uk/calculate-your-maternity-pay

Any enhanced amounts will most likely use the same qualifying weeks to calculate % pay on top. :-)

I found that yesterday and it just led to more confusion but if I'm honest I think I'm looking in to it too much and trying to break it down too much to understand it when I don't need to. I just need to know that I'll get £x amount each week, some from government and some from Uni. I'll find out tomorrow

I dont have any of that. I get confused very easy atm so dont envy you disney!

I've emailed the pct to see if they can help me get a referral. If they cant I have a few contacts who know local mps so they can put pressure on and if they still wont budge will have to go more drastic. I can't believe they wont refer ds to original consultant! I get panic attacks when I have to go see gp about something as he trys to blame me about ds health even though it was him who let him down. At that moment in time I was taking ds to gp around 2/3x a week due to him being sick and not eating. He told me 2oz of milk (60mls) is enough for ds (he was around a year old) and that I needed antidepressants! Bastard.

Sounds horrific monster, I hope you can get it resolved. Is there another GP surgery near by you could move to and try there if all else fails?

Moving and getting to see a new gp could take a while and ds needs to be seen sooner rather than later. I thinkwworst scenario is going to original hospitals a+e.
I think it's horrible how they let some people suffer!

I hope the pct can help, and that GP sounds like a moron! Even if it was your fault for your DS's health why does it matter? The GP should still be trying to help your DS and not make you feel guilty for it, it's not the poor childs fault he is suffering.

Does anyone know of a way to find out what you're entitled to when baby is here? Do you get it automatically? I hear people talking about Child tax credits and stuff like that that people at work seem to get, or family allowance or something. It sounds like it's only 80 a month but every penny counts doesn't it!

You could try here Pina www.entitledto.co.uk/calculator/startcalc.aspx?e2dwp=y

I got the link from here www.gov.uk/benefits-calculators