January 2014 Thread 17 - and the final babies will be here any day now!

[Frizz1986]

Thought i would start up the last thread before we move over to postnatal thread.

book, it's not you. I've managed to raise 2 to teenagerhood, so I'm obviously not entirely inept, yet Meredith also screams for hours most evenings. Last night it started at about 4pm. At 7.30pm we took her upstairs for a bath and I decided to stay up there with her. She and I got under the duvet, both stripped to the waist, low lighting, white noise machine on...did all the right things...
...and she continued screaming in my face and refusing to feed despite obviously being starving, until 10.30pm, when she fed for 2 minutes and finally fell asleep.

It's most definitely not you. Apparently this malarkey peaks at 6-8 weeks, and usually settles completely by 4 months. Although that info isn't worth a wank when 4 months seems forever away.

I do want to give your DH a quick warning shot kick to the plums, though!

Thanks for the cake tip Toby! Amazing! Also yay for DH's driving test! It makes such a difference having two of you that can drive. Also nice to be chauffeured around

Frying impressive to be considering going out -well done and have a fab time!

Angel - I am the same- constantly craving chocolate at the moment

Humpty hadn't heard of the baby whisperer, so thanks for that. Sounds interesting and I've reserved a copy at the library. Sometimes you read things and they're just blatantly obvious but my head isn't working properly in this sleep deprived state so i need someone to point it out! Was interested to read yesterday that DD's lightening bolt pose is actually the tonic reflex

Had a lovely day yesterday. Had been looking forward to the weekend all week as DH was away for 3 nights and it was all a bit of a struggle. Took the dog out for a long walk in the sunshine, had amazing pizza for lunch (while DD slept!) and managed to make a large batch of bolognese for the freezer. Unfortunately then our luck ran out and DD started to scream. I think a mixture of wind and over tiredness but she's unconsolable when she starts which is heart breaking. After 2 hours DH was starting to lose his cool (try doing it all week mate!) so we all, dog included, drove to McDonalds for ice cream. Felt like a slightly bad mother as we ate our puddings in the car park with the doors locked, watching drug deals...not the ideal environment for a 9 week old baby!! Anyway it worked and she slept and even stayed asleep when we got home and we're just had a decent night out of her too.

And so, another day. It's all such an unknown, you never know what each day will bring!

FOUR MONTHS!!!

book and toby we are the same here. I'm sure I'm doing everything the same (or better) than with DS and he never cried this much. It's upsetting and really stresses me out.
She seems to have a problem falling and then staying asleep.
I'm finding it really hard to sympathise with her at 2am in the morning when I know I've had all the sleep I will have, except maybe 10 mins here and there.
I'm sad because deep down I want 3 children but not sure this is really helping my relationship with DH. He'll never agree to another now! We eat in shifts, sleep in shifts, sleep top to tail so Lara can lie in her cocoon next to my head, can't remember the last time we hugged or kissed and obviously no sex for what seems like ages. :-(
And we're both knackered so snappy with each other.

He keeps saying we should let her cry it out and she needs to learn, but that's just not me. What exactly can she learn?! She's 6.5 weeks for goodness sake, and be left her once or twice when I've been sorting DS out and she just gets hot, red, hysterical and sounds like she's choking which then makes me cry.

Agghhh! I just need a good night sleep!!!!

(Sorry for the me me me post but need to rant! I can see we are all going through this so it is 'normal' but it doesn't make it any easier!)

I know I'm doing it better this time. I'm much more patient and always feel sympathy for her, rather than irritation. And it's still not good enough. So it's definitely not us. It's them!

pidgy - my 3rd was similar to lara and it was really tough going and seemed like there would never be an end. It did pass and settle and thing did eventually get easier but of all my babies she was the one who cried most and despite us doing everything we could think to help her. In hindsight o thinl it was colic and she had for a long time undiagnosed lip tie which was affecting her latch. that aside, she is generally more sensitive and dramatic than her brothers x.

Very impressed with all the baking that a lot of you have been doing. Zachary seems to have a radar that means whenever I'm focusing in anything but him he needs to be held. I had him nursing while I simultaneously browned beef for bourgounion yesterday.

today I'm hoping is a lazy one. dh taken eldest 3 swimming for first time on his own so I'm led feeding Zachary and wondering if I can sneak in a shower without Zachary screaming house down in abandoment.

dh got to register him on Tuesday. as his 6 weeks old then. still in quandary over name Thanks to my family it's between Zachary Benjamin and Zachary Austen.

Glad I'm not the only one then :) This is going spectacularly badly. DH got her to sleep in her chair, and then DMiL phoned half an hour later and woke her up . She finally fell asleep on me half an hour ago, but in the spirit of making her sleep in her chair I've just put her in it. She is already stirring...

:( at 4 months, although my DM (who had 6 children) says it is more like 6 months. I'll be at the bottom of Beachy Head well before then!

toby there is a queue for kicking DH in the happysacks. He's refusing to come to my friend's wake with me (he used to be BFFs with her DH, so really should go anyway to support his mate), and it means I'm pretty much unable to go myself as I pathetically don't think I can do the train/tube/settling all by myself. A mutual friend sent a text this morning to tell me that my husband is a bastard for not going. I agree :(

pidgy DH and I now sleep in separate rooms, we're both knackered and I have a prolapse and still have lochia going on at 7 weeks. No duvet action here for the foreseeable either!

The train/tube thing is HARD. I did it last week. It is absolutely not pathetic to think it's too much for you.

My DH is in the queue for kicking yours too. I told him about the wake thing (because he asked me why I was reading the internet and going like this -- I wasn't gossiping!), and he is outraged on your behalf.
What a selfish pisswizard.

I was going to ask about your prolapse. Weird how pregnancy and giving birth makes that suddenly an ok thing to say

I like Zachary Benjamin, Bunt. Although both are nice

DH has taken Meredith out in the pram while I finish the batch cooking. Just doing turkey chilli and then I'm done for today, I think.

Book is there anyone else that can go to the wake with you and help out? If not let your dh know how many people are lining up for kickage.

I've done bus and tube but trains are something else as none round here have lifts and I can't imagine getting the pushchair on with the huge jumps train to platform.

Had our first good night and plus 3 hour sleep, feel a lot more human. Am though leaking all the time and breasts are hard often. Think it's just because she likes to feed every hour at some parts of the day and then not at others.

When I went on the train last week, book, they were refurbishing the lifts at our station. I had to hang around until a station employee helped me carry the pram upstairs. I don't know when they're finishing.

book the train travel isn't ideal, but you really should go to the wake...if it helps, I took Lucy to a funeral and wake on Friday (aged nearly six weeks), fed her in the car, then discovered there was space in the vestry, so fed her some more in the vestry, then just as the service started I slipped into the church where she slept for the full hour (in a baby Bjorn) and then we went to the burial which was ok but freezing and raining, and still she slept, then to the wake which was loud and sociable and still she slept. Then I woke her to feed her (in the room with the kids watching tv) and then we went home, and she slept...and I started to panic that she had slept too much, and of course the minute we got home she was a small ball of overslept fury, and she basically screamed until about 11pm. So, I suppose what I am saying is that it could well be tricky either at the wake, on the train or afterwards, but it's worth going and you will feel both proud of yourself and satisfied you have done the right thing.

The alternative, could your dh take your baby whilst you go solo to the wake? Would baby take a bottle from him? That might well be the easiest solution.

Good luck...my dh is away for two nights this week and I have a proposal to write for a prospective new freelance project and I have no help with th kids at all. Slightly wondering how I will cope with the evenings as Lucy is still not settling between about five and ten pm and these are the hours I find just shattering, especially trying to feed, bathe and bed two pre schoolers.

Blimey you've got a lot on your plate mythree, I'm in awe because I can't even remember if I brushed my teeth this morning Unfortunately Persephone won't take a bottle from anyone at the moment, but DH did offer to meet me in London and bring her home on the train. That seems daft though, because if she has a meltdown I'll be so far away. I'm going to ask another friend to meet me at the station in London and help me to the wake I think.

She's managed four short naps NOT ON ME today, although DH has basically done all the settling. I'm going to keep on with this all week, and then hopefully if it goes okay start on the night sleeping in crib next week, or the week after depending on how her tongue tie appointment goes. I don't want her to feel all abandoned when she's just had her frenulotomy, but I do want her out of my bed before she starts rolling over and onto the floor.

toby prolapse is a hassle. Have been given a choose and book appointment thing, but when I went to book it just said 'no appointments available'. As in, no appointments ever . Fucking magic. I expect it will be a very long time before anything other than pelvic floor exercises is prescribed, but it is a very strange feeling and I can't even do a slow jog across the road without making things worse. I'm so rank . DH is faintly horrified I think, but even he isn't daft enough to say as much.

bunt i like Zachary Austen. But then again, i love Jane Austen so I'm biased :)

But then again, one of my brothers is called Benjamin (call him Ben) and he is one of the best men I know. Loving, generous, kind etc.

so i was no help whatsoever. Sorry!

Although I'm glad a lot of us are in the same boat, I do wish that boat was 'my baby's really easy' rather than 'my baby screams constantly'.

Very impressed with people going on public transport, I'm planning to walk 3 miles to and from a baby group next week rather than risk the bus!

bunt, you mentioned your DD had lip tie, was it easy to get it diagnosed and treated? Leah sucks her top lip in a lot, especially whilst feeding which can be painful. Don't know if she's doing it on purpose for comfort or if somethings wrong.

Toby well done to your DH! I am calling to book my first lessons tomorrow scary!

Bunt I love Zachary Austen. It's unusual and really nice.

I'm sorry everyone is having problems with non-sleeping babies I'm feeling extremely lucky that we aren't having many problems any more. I wish we could swap for a few days so you could all get some sleep! I've sort of worked out how to decipher exactly what's wrong with her when she's crying. It's either hunger, wind, reflux, tiredness or constipation. It's just a case of narrowing it down to one thing she's recently started whinging if we aren't paying her attention too!

Got my first night on my own with Sylvie tonight. DP has gone to a gig then for drinks with his best friend and I'm hoping he's not going to get too drunk!!! He's got the day off work tomorrow so we are going to take Sylvie in the ergo for a walk in the moors if it's not raining. Looking forward to getting out of the house.

mrsg - yup Jessicas lip tie wasn't dx till she was almost 1 as bfing continued to be painful and.i did some research. midwife at bosom pals confirmed but no treatment as she'd need general anesthetic. had to give exaggerated latch to stop getting sore. she's still nursing at 28 months.

Zachary has posterior tt which has been snipped and been referred for upper lip tie.

Hi all - was inspired by baking -and its an acceptable way to keep moving with Hugh in the sling to keep sleep ongoing. Not sure about rapeseed oil as a substitute for sunflower oil tired and didn't care as the blessed Mary Berry's maple apple tray bake tastes slightly for want of better words.
Book I'm sure people would be very supportive if you came to your friend's wake. The worst that could happen is a screaming baby, and if that happens + they don't settle you can run away...

mythree what is this overslept fury you speak of? I seem to have an evening ball of fury irrelevant of hours kip in the daytime and thought I'd just never achieved enough daytime sleep - any idea how much is too much?

Naps still only happen in the sling grr! I'd worried terribly about feeding to sleep a few weeks ago. How I miss that Now sleep involves movement - sling or pram, rocking causes fury and stopping or being put down causes waking less than 5 mins later, no matter how deep the sleep. I was trying to work out last night how a pram could safely be attached to a treadmill & how I'd present it to Dragon's den.....

Felix, it sounds like you've got it all worked out! Well done :)

book, your talk of appointment-booking has reminded me that I haven't booked my 6 week check. Meredith will be 8 weeks on Weds
She has hers (and first vax :( ) next week.

I'm on fire today. I've gawped at all the Oscars dresses, been to see my mum, peeled the potatoes for dinner (actual dinner is steak and ale stew I made yesterday) and made banana bread. DD will be home in a bit, and then when DS gets back we're going to the cheapo outlet to buy him some new PE trainers. Rock n roll.

Tomorrow morning I have to have DS at school for 5am! He's going on a day trip to Ypres. Five. A. M.

toby my doctors send invites out apparently and don't do them until 8 weeks anyway so maybe you haven't missed it?

Your making me feel lazy. I had a lie in, cooked chicken and leeks for dinner then started painting the ceiling but Henry must have realised I was being productive and has woken up

1 month today! Can't believe how quickly it's gone. Quite sad really and I still miss being pregnant

Also 5am?! Might as well not go to bed!

Nope, I knew I had to make my own appointment. They send the babies' appointments out, but the mums have to make their own. Done it now, though!

Hi all just thought I would check in. We are bearing up here, can't say motherhood is much fun yet but getting better slowly I think?!

Alexander is 4 weeks old now, still not going in his basket much but I think that's due to us liking the extra sleep that comes from co-sleeping. Worst thing is that he refuses to sleep anywhere but on us during the day. I wouldn't mind but when my mum or mil are here he will sleep quite happily in his chair, but he refuses when it's just us grrr.

Question; do you have your basket in the living room for the evening until you go to bed? Xander normally feeds at 8-9pm then again at midnight-1am when we go to bed. He has been sleeping on me but don't know if I should try dimming the lights and putting in the basket, so ge starts to understand it's night time?

Other than that if we could just get his wind under control we would be in an ok place. I thought I had a decent bf latch but I am starting to think maybe not if he is taking in air.

Bloody hard work this baby lark!

merry I have Henry wherever I am so he stays in Moses basket downstairs with me until I go to bed. I keep lights and tv on like normal but I'm lucky that he sleeps well (all though is getting clingier in the day). I haven't really tried to do any routine yet and he just does what I do

I don't have a Moses basket.