June 2014: New Year, new trimester, new thread! June bugs no 7!!

[hackneybird]

Ding dong!

i do understand you, ladies who travelling to see family and friends, dont take me wrong, my family and friends live far as well, but my choice is skype, them flying to see us, and of course when im ready and baby is more a toddler to fly with him\her, each to their own

Mylittle I actually don't think people are being fake I think many genuinely are not annoyed by the presence of children. I agree that in some countries Italy particularly ppl go out of their way to make families welcome. In a restaurant one set of American children were playing up & the staff came out & entertained them & gave them pots & pans to bash.

I respect your view though & you're entitled to it - but you have a shock coming if you think you can maintain that view & travel when your baby is a toddler....I have one....omg they are so much worse than babies!!! Also - part of me is nosey wondering how you'll ever get anywhere never taking your baby on the train or bus or will you stay at home?

bumble i never thought that far) we leave in town centre where all parks, gps, shops in walking distance, i also rely on DH to give us lifts if need be

sorry meant to write live not leave

It would be incredibly selfish of my to ask every member of my family to come here to visit me. They also have children. I love my family and want to see them, and there's a dozen or more of them in Canada and only one of me in the UK. Why WOULD. They come to visit? I'm not saying everyone should coo over my baby and smile at me when it cries. God no, but most people understand that parents and children have valid reasons to travel as well.

Flights It is much easier when they are babies. I found it hard between 1.5 and 3. They do not understand why they need to stay still, why they can't run along that nice long corridor.

He is now nearly 4 and I am already able to sleep during the flights while he is playing with the ipad or watching a film! Bliss!

I have lost count on how many flights we have done, but they were mostly within Europe. I am must acknowledge that I it requires some preparation and it can be tense: thinking about the entertainment and trying not disturb the others.

I only had a traumatic flight when DS was 1.5 and cried for a while. I was trying to calm him down and someone complaint to the cabin crew. A few minutes later a member of the cabin crew told me I needed to "shut up" my baby! Of course I burst into tears and seconds after DS was sick all over me and the the corridor! After that I was afraid of flying but then realised that I shouldn't keep DS away from our family back home (we do not have family here) just because he could disturb. I am not saying I do not care about others, of course I do, and I will do my best to keep DS quiet. However, there are moments, especially when they are smaller, that it is completely out of our control. In those moments, when parents are doing their best to calm down their children the last thing they need is the the disapproving looks.

I come from a super child friendly country (where, sometimes children are a bit out of control) and I agree with Lady that the "should be seen and not heard attitude" can be, sometimes, a bit overwhelming.

After this long post (sorry) I am trying to book our flights for summer, but easyjet will not allow me because they require the baby's name for the booking!

In short wispa and anyone else, I think you should go on holiday!

absolutely, as well as they are lots of impatient people, like i said before i could manage when kids were crying as i can understand how hard it could be..but there are other who think that they just want some piece in their economy class seat

mylittle travelling with a toddler is HELL
They rarely sleep on a plane, you can't stick a boob in their mouths to stop them crying with ear pain etc, they are big so you can't move under them on your lap etc. the worst slight of my life was when DD was 23 months old.

And as wispa said, my aunts are in their 70s. My uncles have never left their home country. My aunt came to visit once 5 years ago when we paid for her ticket. They live on about £300 a month so the thought of spending £800 for a plane ticket to see my DD who they adore is a bit much. And they don't have internet so no skype. Obviously my parents can visit but my DD is like their own grandchild. They have pictures of her everywhere.

Liquidambar i agree with you, i think (never obviously experience myself) that when you see people with disapproving looks it put us-parents more on pressure

unfortunately i have only one example travelling with toddler-my cousin has twins, when we invited them for our wedding twins were 19 months and as we were told throughout the flight they were calm and never cried

mylittle I think airline companies should also do their bit, but some don't really care. Cabin crew should have a bit more training, and not tell a parent to "shut up" the baby, like they did with us.

I know there are airlines that now offer "child free" rows. Of course that people will need to pay more for those seats, but I agree with that.

Liquid - agree. Actually a few airlines have now introduced sky nanny services (gulf, eithad, Sri Lankan and maybe one or two others). Would be good if other airlines followed suit.

Toddlers are the worse on flights (and I don't have any problems with them either as its only a flight) - babies are a breeze compared and once they hit 5 the mini tv is a god send.

Mitchell I sometimes wish I could have a sky, a home, a playground nanny :)
I think it is a great idea, especially if a parent is traveling alone with a child: an extra pair of hands! I would personally pay for it in long hauls.

Sorry to be entirely off topic but I have a quick question - just realised I need to confirm nct booking tomorrow if we want to do it, but just found daisy birthing classes near too which are much cheaper (£60 instead of £210). Does anyone know anything about which one to choose? I'm panicking about overspending!!

liquid

super sorry! never heard of them.

red I'm a bit disappointed with your family meeting... I was looking forward to some inspired name ideas .

super my mw gave us leaflet about daisy, but its says about relaxing your body, yoga seems like not ur standard antenatal classes

Dunno Super but 60 quid is really reasonable. I only really did NCT first time round to meet like minded people...if you can do that through Daisy I'd do that. But have zero direct experience of them. Sorry.

I've just bidded for and won an off-road buggy (Easylife Sport) that we should also be able to run with. I know, I know. I've managed without for two children but thought it would be helpful for dog walking with DD in any case and then will be able to run with baby when DD is in nursery. Best of all is only 40 quid! And I'll be able to keep it in the garage and not tromp mud through the hall with the Sola like I do at the moment

Liquid that experience sounds awful. I'd say most people here don't have that awful attitude towards kids but are still quite 'out of other people's business' culturally so they stay silent meaning the disapproving ones seem more common.

Mylittle I would never think someone shouldn't be on a plane or anywhere because they have a baby - I actually find that view really hard to understand - but I completely agree that you'll probably need to wait until your baby is about 4 to guarantee they'll be no nuisance & toddlers are by far the worst age.

The thing is flights are going to be infrequent, let's talk about other places you might get disapproving looks
Church
Supermarket
Doctor's surgery
Playground
Restaurants
Bus/tube/train
You've just got to learn to ignore, or perfect the " wtf are you looking at" stare
I've been so lucky with my girls not one tantrum out in public in their 6/4 years - famous last words before DC3

Mitch - me too! Really have not come up with any names at all - I am just reading a book with a Charlie in it and like it but DP not to keen.

Clever - thanks so much for your lovely comment. DP had a difficult day with DS so your comment made him smile . He is great but I think he thinks he is the 3rd grown up in the house sometimes.

Fatal mistake sareva
DD is generally good but does have a wild temper (from DH's side of the family!) and sometimes I have to give in rather than inflict her temper in public!

She is very good on planes too but once we were on an internal flight before getting a long haul flight. This older couple tutted at us about children on planes as we got off the flight (DD had been playing with her toys without making a murmur) and I was delighted for their sake that they ended up on the same long haul flight with us Unfortunately DD was good as gold again as I really wanted her to kick off to spite them! There was actually a much older boy who was very noisy. He clearly hadn't flown before and was very excitable. I just stick my earphones on and watch a film once DD is asleep or on her ipad. I never sleep anyway.

Sareva I had my toddler at a friends birthday recently at Pizza Express - it was lunchtime & they have a kids menu so hardly not a place for kids....2 old women on the next table kept turning around & giving disapproving looks because he was giggling or accidentally dropping food & after an hour because he was throwing things (paper napkins etc & in happiness not a tantrum & I wasn't fighting that battle when really he wanted to be released) anyway instead of the stare I should have given....I said loudly "they're going to be really shocked when I start throwing things too!"

Did the trick but was completely out of character for me!!!

see im right in saying that there are people who are not happy with kids, kids behaviour...i think we will always have those who are not happy

Lol bumble and Marlena - I think Every parent must have at least one story
Mylittle there are those that think children should be seen and not heard, but they are not in the majority, and you should just ignore them and definitely don't live your life to suit them!