Graduated Elderberries. Thread 9

[Cavort]

The over 30's expecting or just had their first baby.

same applies to cherry tomatoes and hot dogs, as I've read.
www.hopkinschildrens.org/A-Dangerously-Tasty-Treat-The-Hot-Dog-is-a-Choking-Hazard.aspx

Who the hell feeds hot dogs to toddlers?!

Although DSIL told me she saw two people feeding a 3 month old an Oreos cookie on the bus the other day

I have a fear of all spherical food after a near death incident with a pickled onion when I was 11

Oh no was it a silver skin? Can totally see how they could spell trouble...

I also mix pouches and home cooked though more home cooked as she doesn't seem over keen on the pouches but I'm not at work and I can assure you she'd be eating a lot more pouches if I were, there's nothing wrong with them.

L seems ok with lumpy but as i'm too lazy to get the food processor out I've always just done her food with a good old fashioned potato masher I've never actually puréed anything so I think her food has always had a fairly lumpy texture so meat just gets chopped up into small pieces and mixed in though I tend to cook in big batches and freeze and I worry about reheating things if they've got meat in so she mostly just has fruit and veg.

Blimey Merkin - that must have been scary!

I was up 5 times last night. Not including the twice he woke but self settled. He was only actually hungry maybe twice. I actually nearly cried!

had the usual monthly check-up, V's growth is very stable - still 50th percentile for weight, 95 for height. Happily growing out of his 12-month size clothes now, but getting the same issue as DH - if the length is good then the clothes too wide. So who else (besides Petit Bateau) does slim fit baby clothes?

brave that sucks I was up 3 times and that was bad enough!

H had his first set of jabs today and is not happy about it He was fine at the time and for a few hours afterwards and then got ratty, then I remembered I'd given him a pre-emptive dose of calpol before we went so that was probably wearing off. He is asleep now I just hope he sleeps tonight!

Whenever you start thinking he's a little better...cavort special here, up from 3 to 5. And again at 6. I have tons of meetings and a bodypump class to teach, that should be fun.

cavort I need your help, as I'm sure you have some links to appropriate articles. When DH went to the GP with V yesterday, they also discussed sleeping. GP is not a fan of attachment parenting and told Dh that we should not have baby in the bed, it will spoil him, just let him cry when he wakes up, he will soon learn.

I am not planning to do that, as he rarely wakes up just to fuss, he usually wants to eat. So I'm sure once he starts eating better, he will also start sleeping better.
But DH is now convinced that we are doing it all wrong and should simply stuff V to another room and leave him there, as that's what the doc said. As a man, he does not simply have the experience with other people's opinions - that everybody has one and they are not necessarily right for our baby.

So basically I need some links stating that hungry babies should be fed and it's not a good idea to leave a 6-month old crying.

Hazle cav has given me the www.askdrsears (I think!) and it has some good stuff re sleeping. Also the no cry sleep solution???
We're moving L into her room when I'm back next week as she won't fit in the basket and we can't fit a cot in the room - and I'm dreading it.
I think your doctor is talking about controlled crying and you can show your dh sites about how it makes the baby associate sleep with sadness and that they also lose trust in you as you don't come for them. In my opinion they don't learn to self settle, they just cry themselves to sleep- and that is horrible as an adult, let alone as a baby.
I know people who swear by it but I just could not do it.

Alex how's things x

Yes the Dr Sears site has some good attachment parenting links but they are of course very anti-CIO ans so are not unbiased. I am sure they is an equivalent Ferber site stating the benefits of CIO (not that I have looked at it).

Personally I found this two part blog <a class="break-all" href="//bloguncommonjohn.wordpress.com/2013/02/14/the-real-self-soothing-its-not-what-sleep-experts-think-it-is/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Part 1 and Part 2 explains the benefits of attachment parenting and the myth of self-soothing particularly well.

There are also a few sites saying how parents in the Western World have an unrealistic expectation of what normal baby sleep actually constitutes and the disruption we are all experiencing is actually completely normal in healthy babies rather than problematic as the alleged baby sleep experts would have you believe. Normal Infant Sleep is a 5 part series of articles which are well worth reading and covers the 'Cavort Special' prolonged night wakings, co-sleeping and the importance of night nursing.

I think it boils down to personal choice, but I have read up on it and decided CIO is not for me, or certainly not at the moment. Maybe if she's still not seeping aged 3 I might change my mind! If my dog was crying in the night I would get up and go see what was wrong and try to calm him down, so if I would instinctively do that with my dog why would I then go completely against my instinct and leave my baby to cry alone in the dark? There are also lots of article like this one if you search around for baby cortisol levels.

I guess I have to admit that I am a bit quick to jump up and grab the baby. Of course, if he was really crying, I would do that anyway. But he usually just moans and shuffles, so last night DH made me wait 5 minutes and indeed, V fell asleep again. The trouble is that if he does not self-settle, then he's totally awake and a lot harder to get back down.

Oh yes, and since we've had Elodie I have spoken to the former head of Paediatrics for the whole of Cheshire (now retired but is a client of my Dad's), and the current Medical Director of Birmingham Children's Hospital (who is married to a colleague of DH's) and both of these are massively in favour of attachment parenting in raising happy healthy children. I don't know if it makes any difference but both of these are women whereas the GP your DH saw presumably is a man?

I find that when L stirs in the night, usually about 4am if she wriggles a bit and moans slightly she falls back to sleep, if she actually cries I pick her up and feed her. I used to jump straight up and feed her at the first movement but discovered by accident one night when I popped to the loo first that by the time I got back and went to feed her she'd fallen asleep. Now I leave her for the first few wriggles and see and mostly she goes back. I can't ever imagine letting her cry though, surely it goes against your every natural instinct? How can that be right? I think I'd cry myself to sleep as well if I did that to her!

In other news, the HV had just been for a home visit and L has put weight on, yay! She's now 13lb and back up to the 2nd centile. I am so relieved and thrilled that all my hard work has paid off. HV now advises less fruit and veg, more cheese to fatten her up. Apparently I should be feeding her cheese sandwiches, cheesy pasta and cheesy omelettes haha, somehow you never expect a health visiot to advise you to feed your hold LESS fruit and veg do you!

no our GP is also a woman, with 2 adult sons. But French don't seem to be so big on attachment parenting and most babies are formula-fed (almost none are bf at 6 months, I feel like a total hippie extended breastfeeder here), so that might have something to do with it.

yay purple!

Yay L!! And Purple for all your hard work in fattening her up! I think I should lay off the cheese as E is already resembling a walrus.

E stirs several times a night and sometimes actually briefly screams but still goes back to sleep. I find that when she wants feeding she makes a slightly different noise so I don't bother getting up for the rest of the wakings unless it goes on for a while and it's apparent that she's struggling to settle off again, which is thankfully quite rare. Getting up for 2 hour stints every night is bad enough without having to get up loads of other times as well! I know what you mean though Hazle, sometimes intercepting quickly can make the difference between them settling back off again versus waking up for a few hours.

Yay to the cheese plan Purple! You've done a fab job :)

I can usually tell the difference between whether or not H is hungry or just woken up... but this week he's been a bit off and seemed genuinely upset whenever he's woken up (3 times last night) so he's not drifted off much.

He's been in his own room for 6 weeks or so now... but in his basket in his cot. He's actually slept much better since being in his own room - he doesn't get disturbed by DP snoring for example.

Really need to upgrade him to full cot now though - he's just too big for the basket.

Just been to a swim and sing session - was fab and H is now zonked out :)

By the way, have you seen "What to expect..." 100 years ago?
theweek.com/article/index/253097/what-to-expect-when-youre-expecting-100-years-ago
Some interesting ideas, but look what they had figured out:

The Agricultural Theory, as it may be called, because [it was] adopted by farmers, is that impregnation occurring within four days of the close of the female monthlies produces a girl, because the ovum is yet immature; but that when it occurs after the fourth day from its close, gives a boy, because this egg is now mature.

Nowadays the theory is that boy sperm both moves and dies faster, but still you should DTD before OV if you want a girl and around OV to have a boy.

Heaven only knows what happened last night - after two awful nights, last night H woke up just once, at 245 for 40 minutes, and nowt else til 730!

How's everyone else this fine morning?

Nice one Brave My H was up at 4.30 for 20 mins and then up again at 6.30 for 20 mins and is now still asleep. I however have my second cold since christmas and feel grotty as hell. My OH thinks I'm unhealthy getting 2 colds one after the other, I told him its more to do with lack of sleep and being run down, men huh.

Oh and in those 2 wake ups he polished off a full 8oz bottle, one hungry little man!

Will start offering more finger-foods to V, he seems to enjoy it. Had banana and toast this morning. Of course, mostly it's chewed a bit and then dropped on the floor - dogs have taken up permanent residence under his high-chair and happily eat everything that falls. Win-win.

Even though she is clearly eating less, E seems to enjoy the finger foods much more than being spoon fed. When she refuses to eat any more from a spoon she will carry on eating if she is feeding herself. And our dog is also now living under the high chair.

Has anybody heard how Alex is getting on? Janey, have you spoken to her?

I hope alex is getting an epic amount of sleep