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Martians 2014, thread 11. KEGELS!

1000 replies

LyraSilvertongue · 02/10/2013 09:49

Shiny new thread, ladies :)

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
BadlyWrittenPoem · 04/10/2013 17:52

Pram assuming this has been an ongoing problem, there could be all sorts of reasons for the baby feeding all the time and not gaining weight. I would guess that the most likely would be that the baby is not latching on properly and is therefore an inefficient feeder. This can cause poor milk supply which can then create a spiral of baby not getting enough and feeding all the time. Although it didn't create any problems other than soreness if she fed more than usual and longer feeds than the typical breastfed baby, I have realised since having DD2 that DD1 most likely didn't have a proper latch although as I say it wasn't bad enough to cause any major problems. My recommendation would be to see a lactation consultant as early on as possible if you have any breastfeeding problems as they will be better able to help you than the NHS MWs who even if they have the knowledge, don't necessarily have the time to give you the right help. But also different babies have different needs so even if there aren't any problems (as there sounds like there may be in this case) some will feed longer or more frequently than others. So for example, I roughly used the GF routines (although DD2's more frequent feeding and unusually low sleep needs meant I had to modify them a lot more for her than for DD1) and DD1 was sleeping through from the 10pm feed from nine weeks whereas DD2 was typically feeding once or twice overnight and having an extra feed in the day until about eleven months at which point she suddenly changed and "caught up" with what had been DD2's feeding pattern at that age. DD2 is taller/heavier than DD1 was and she ate more solid food sooner than DD1 so I presume she just has a faster metabolism and higher energy needs. Sleep-wise, DD2 currently sleeps around 10 1/2 hours in 24 which is loads less than the average child of her age (and less than DD1 has at age six!) so we have to be very strategic about when we put her to bed and how much daytime sleep we allow if we don't want to be woken lots in the night - it took us a little while to cotton on to her unusually low sleep needs so it's also possible that some children who are waking lots in the night are doing so because they don't need so much sleep although obviously there are lots of other reasons why babies might be awake in the night.

Also, Ice is totally right that people mostly post about these things when there is a problem rather than when there isn't which can give a skewed view of the likelyhood of difficulties.

Re: routines and leaving babies to cry, I don't think it is the case that these things are mutually exclusive one or the other things. We have always had routines from fairly early on but not in the rigid "I will not feed you before x o'clock" sense - it's more like how you have meals at routine times but if you're hungry a little early you might eat early whereas if you're hungry a lot early you might have a snack and have the meal at the usual time kind of thing. So for me routine means that in the day time the baby is offered feeds at routine times rather than waiting for them to request them but then after the late evening feed, they've not been fed unless they wake wanting it apart from the early days when I would always wake them after a certain amount of time day and night to make sure they didn't go too long between feeds. And with crying, our eldest didn't like lying down (you could sometimes literally stop and start her crying like one of those toy dolls by changing her between horizontal and vertical) so would always cry when she was put for a sleep but it was more a "registering an objection" kind of cry rather than a distress or an "I need something" cry so we would leave her and probably 95% of the time she'd be asleep within five minutes and the rest of the time we would then go back and try the standard burping, nappy, feed etc to see what was wrong. Whereas DD2 has never really cried unless there is something wrong or she is genuinely distressed so we haven't really ever left her the way we did DD1. And then some babies just cry most of the time no matter what you do in which case sometimes you just have to leave them to cry at times - I am always terrified I'm going to get a baby like that but so far I haven't.

Glad to hear you've finally got your scan Panto but not great that you had to sort it out yourself!

Saw Dr about my boils and he said that the antibiotic I had is the least likely of the ones I could have to make me sick so as long as they're healing up fine without there's no need to have more. He also said that the stuff they would give a longer course of to get rid of them isn't safe for pregnancy so I can't have it at the moment. I should have asked whether it's safe for breastfeeding though as it'll likely be a long time before I can have it if it's not. He sent me for some blood tests though including ferritin which for some reason wasn't done the last time even though the sample was sent for it.

And since I'm feeling better and DH was at home, he got out the Christmas presents for his side of the family and I've wrapped them all ready to hand over when we see them at the end of the month. Except for the one we haven't got yet because obviously I can't.

BadlyWrittenPoem · 04/10/2013 17:53

And if anyone gets to the end of my last post then they deserve a medal!

HotCrossPun · 04/10/2013 17:56

Not only do I have scones, but DP has promised* me that we are having a bonk-a-thon tonight.

I'm not going to get my hopes up though, he was asleep for 9pm last night!

lumpylumps · 04/10/2013 17:56

Tired tired tired!!!

Anyone else got a really heavy pain down below??? If I stand for more than 10 minutes, it's agony. I feel like all the blood is rushing down there and its throbbing!! (No rude comments!!!!)

pram it's very easy to say you're going to do things a certain way before the baby is born but nothing in the world can prepare you for the intense overwhelming love and protection you feel when you hold your baby. My friend tried to introduce a bottle early on but her dd was having non of it. I tried to give her it and it was heartbreaking seeing her get so upset. And all she wanted was her mummy and her milk!!

Jolleigh · 04/10/2013 18:04

HotCross - you can always use my argument on your DP...

"But honey, if it heals over, how will I get the baby out?" Wink

(got my seeing to last night in anticipation of my hermit weekend)

rescoonetwothree · 04/10/2013 18:08

Lumpy it could be spd from other posts but do you mean on your general foof or cervix? I have so much pressure in my cervix which I'm very worried about, extremely paranoid about incompetent cervix!

HotCrossPun · 04/10/2013 18:12

jolls Grin For all I know it could have healed over! I can count on one hand the amount of times we have had sex since finding out I was pregnant. No amount of delicious scones are going to make up for my disappointment if he doesn't put out tonight.

prambo2thereturn · 04/10/2013 18:15

Thanks for your input, BWP. GF swears if a child is fed enough at the correct times he will sleep through (simplified summary there), but everything I'm reading suggests it is far easier to fill a baby up with bottle milk. Often women can't tell how much milk has been imbibed from the breast, is that correct? Lumpy, you are right, of course, but I'm damned if I am going to have a velcro baby. I've seen women on their knees and relationships failing because of that shit.

I can't think of a less appealing prospect right now than a bonkathon..

Jolleigh · 04/10/2013 18:21

I definitely agree it can be really frustrating. I have a really high libido (much higher than his at the best of times) and where I've gone into horny overdrive, he's seemingly worried about performing penile brain surgery on the baby so is much more nervous. He'll get over it though...either that or I'm going to break another rampant rabit.

MummyPig24 · 04/10/2013 18:51

panto I hope you are kicking up a fuss about the scan!

For dinner we had chicken chasseur with mash and green beans. It was lovely, I had been smelling it cooking in the slow cooker most of the day so I was really ready to eat it!

Side still very painful and trapped wind not yet released. I'm in the bath hoping to relax my muscles.

Rockchick1984 · 04/10/2013 19:15

Pram you have met my DS - he has never been left to cry, he spent a good proportion of his babyhood in a sling on my chest, and he is the least clingy, Velcro child that I know. I honestly don't think that any of those things can make your child clingy! Re breastfeeding and amounts consumed, I used to let him feed as much as he wanted, give him a 10 min break, then see if he would latch onto the other side to make sure he was completely full up. Switched to formula around 4 months, he still never slept through, he's just not a good sleeper apparently I didn't sleep through until I was in primary school so DH blames me entirely :)

lumpylumps · 04/10/2013 19:19

I'm thinking spd too. But don't want to miss anything by blaming that. Yes, General foof. It feels like I've been kicked with a steel toe cap boot!!!

pram I've never had a Velcro baby. Both mine were ff and I expect this one will be too. I would have loved to have bf but it wasn't to be. I was pretty strict with routine to so they had a bedtime from day one, literally. I love being a mum and my children are my life but they don't rule my life!!!

Cassiopeia01 · 04/10/2013 19:25

Oh my fucking god. I just sobbed at a Johnson's baby advert. I really need to get a grip...

commsgirl · 04/10/2013 19:26

DP has only just left work over an hour away

Tea will be Nandos takeout.

Imeg · 04/10/2013 19:31

I have also had some pains in the last few days - quite sharp and in the very lower abdomen area. Only occasional and no bleeding at all so presume is some sort of stretching/pressure/general pregnancy unpleasantness!

Those who have felt movement, is it a lot lower down than the bump? I'm wondering whether my bump is stuff that the baby has pushed out of the way rather than actual baby as I think I'm feeling twitches but not in the bump area!

IceNoSlice · 04/10/2013 19:32

I don't believe that FF babies sleep better than BF ones. I just don't. My NCT group had the whole range from FF from day one to EBF to until weaning at 6mo (me). Some babies sleep, some don't. IMO.

prambo2thereturn · 04/10/2013 20:32

Ice, I think I've made myself misunderstood. What GF advocates in order to get babies to sleep through the night is one bottle of FF to be used at 10-11pm - the Dream Feed. I inferred from this that she didn't think a dream feed of breast milk would get baby through to 6am? Maybe I've misunderstood her, but she definitely recommends a bottle of FF for the 10-11pm late feed.

apprenticemamma · 04/10/2013 21:02

pram ff is thought to keep newborns fuller slightly longer than bf, sthng to do with digestion of the two types of milk hence slightly longer gaps between feeds e.g. four hourly in ff vs three hourly in bf. This ime does have some truth in it, I have done both before with ds. Baby whisperer also recommended dream feeds with formula, worked for us Smile

Coolhand · 04/10/2013 21:05

Just deleted massive post but from my experience, doing GF doesn't necessarily give you a non-Velcro baby. Personality plays such a big role. I'm owed a non-screaming, settled one this time round!

Most movements I feel are quite low down but the strongest movements are in my side when I'm leaning forward.

Ordered a dress online for my cousin's wedding at end of month - it arrived today, tried it on and just feel my bump looks huge! Scared to think how big this bump will be at the end.

Anyway, Friday night and not doing any work this evening. Absolute bliss - going to watch Tues night's Bake Off and read.

BadlyWrittenPoem · 04/10/2013 21:06

Gina recommends a bottle of either expressed or formula milk at the 10-11pm feed and seems to think that if you breastfeed at that time you definitely wouldn't have enough. We gave both girls a bottle of expressed milk at that time and there's still been a huge difference. I do think it's down to appetite too and the fact that some babies just can't fit in as much as they need without a night feed too as I would easily express more at 9.30 than DD2 took at the late feed and would express a similar amount in the morning so clearly a) I would have had as much as she would take for the late feed if I'd fed her direct and b) I had ample supply and she was getting as much as she would take. With DD1 I had only a little surplus milk versus so much that I have literally been giving it away this time but DD1 is the one who has slept through earlier. So having had the two I would absolutely say that while you can easily feed in a way that means they end up needing to feed in the night when they might not have otherwise, there isn't a feeding routine that guarantees sleeping through the night by any particular age.

I'm not convinced that FF vs BF makes a huge difference either - mine have been quite different and a friend who FF both had one feeding loads through the night for ages and one who sleeps all the time.

prambo2thereturn · 04/10/2013 21:07

Coolhand, can we have an update of your bump on fb? I was intrigued by your lovely early one.

BadlyWrittenPoem · 04/10/2013 21:09

In fact I even added an extra day feed into DD2's routine and she kept all those day feeds much longer but still took longer to sleep through. Based on how much I was expressing I think she was taking around 35oz/day whereas I estimate DD1 must have been taking more like 20-25.

prambo2thereturn · 04/10/2013 21:11

BWP, can you elaborate on this, pliz?: I would absolutely say that while you can easily feed in a way that means they end up needing to feed in the night when they might not have otherwise..

From what I've read demand feeding during the day and letting baby nap too often during the day will result in all-night feeds. Is this what you mean?

PainAuxRaisins · 04/10/2013 21:22

Agree with others - I reckon it's more to do with baby's personality than what you do or don't do re feeding. Very easy to tie yourself up in knots following one 'method' or another. I never did ff with my two (although tried VERY hard to introduce a bottle so my DH could take over some of the night feeds). Unfortunately the little buggers would only take the boob but in the end that was a good thing - BF is sooooo convenient (no warming up bottles in middle of night with screaming hungry baby). Also with DD2 I did the co-sleeping (with cot attached to side of bed) so for the 3am feed I would just roll onto my side and she would latch on so I could pretty much do it in my sleep. Took a while to master that technique but it was well worth it in the end! Wish I'd done that with DD1 instead of having sleepless nights for 9 months. Oh well you live and learn!

BadlyWrittenPoem · 04/10/2013 21:24

Yes, that's exactly what I mean. I have a friend who demand fed and had a policy of "never wake a sleeping baby" and was very busy with her other children and would for example end up doing the school run when the baby was ready for a feed with the result that he went for large spells in the day between feeds and then fed lots in the night to try to make up for it.

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