February 2014. Bodystockings at the ready. We make pregnancy sexy.

[DawnOfTheDee]

Ok we don't. We're sick a lot, cry at adverts, moan about back/hip pain and if we got a quid for each new stretchmark generated we could all give up work and employ a nanny.

In fact if you know any teenagers feel free to show them our threads...we are the most effective contraceptive since sliced bread don't ask.

Ladies...as you were....

I asked HR about my matb1 form as I'm a bit concerned I won't get hold of it in the next 2 weeks and they said they need it the month before my maternity leave is due to start. I'm seeing the midwife at my new surgery at 25 weeks now, so hoping to get it sorted then.

I'm feeling really sad and down today.

1. DH REALLY needs to learn to drive and I don't know how we're going to afford it.

2. My 'best friend' and I no longer talk. It's not that we're actively arguing, we just don't communicate anymore. She was the maid of honour at my wedding in April. I missed her b-day dinner in August because I was exhausted and couldn't face the thought of driving 1.5 hours then not getting to lie down for hours. She hasn't spoken to me since - not to ask how the preg is going, not to comment on my 20 week scan news on FB. I keep thinking 'you'll understand pretty soon when you're in your first trimester'. But I am just very sad she doesn't care enough to contact me.

3. I just feel really horrible. Our bed is so hard and it kills my hips and then I don't sleep, so the next day my anxiety and tics are terrible and it's a vicious circle. The only thing that stops them hurting is the mattress topper on my parents' bed which costs near to £1000, which I definitely can't afford! Can't bear the though of this discomfort and not sleeping for 20 more weeks.

Plus, I want one of my friends / relatives to think of buying some kind of nice pregnancy skincare thing for me:
www.mamamio.com/uk/pregnancy.html
Had a friend ask, 'Is it too soon to buy clothes for the baby yet?' Yes! IT's way too soon, but I am the person the baby is in and I'm pregnant for 5 MORE MONTHS! I am not just an incubator! It's the kind of thing I would think of for a friend immediately.

Sorry - princess rant over. Just feeling sorry for myself.

Julietee - re mattress topper. I've got a summer duvet folded double on my side of the bed and I lay on that. It helps me, worth a try? If you've a spare duvet...,

julie you poor munchkin! Your friend sounds like a meanie! I keep thinking my best friend isn't paying me enough attention but then remember she lives in Cyprus and has two little ones so I can kind of forgive her. Kind of.

I would facebook her and tell her how hard it's been for you and ask her to stay. If she doesn't reply to that then give up. Don't waste anymore baby growing energy.

Have you got a dunelm near you? I really recommend a memory foam topper, it will be £100 very well spent. You don't need one that costs more than a car to sleep well. A spritz of lavender on your pillow and all your worries will melt away. If I could afford it I'd buy you one.

Can no one teach DH to drive for free? Just an idea x

Aw julietee hugs! [Thanks] totally agree agree with everyone else's advice. Also find making a nest of pillows in bed really helps with the various pains x

By the way the randon thanks was was supposed to be I am just technologically incapable

Julietee I think you need to reach out to your friend. She won't know you're seething or sad unless you tell her, she'll just be wondering why YOU haven't contacted her (or getting on with her own life).
I hardly heard from my best friend for months and then she suddenly felt bad and booked us a spa day - it was not right as we were hardly together and had to be quiet and I thought that was it... then I tried a little harder and booked us a weekend away. On that weekend I told her I was getting married and she was so excited she burst into tears. Ever since she's been amazing and I'm so glad she's in my life. I wouldn't throw that away because i was feeling injured/ too much pride. Just be nice and she will be too...

Work asked me for my MAT thingy form but I haven't had one so I gave them my dates (finishing at Christmas!) and told them they'd get the form when I get it - guessing that'll be at 25 week appt next week.

Feeling ok - lots of work on and lots of house renovating. Tired, but fine, and baby kicks all the time so I can't complain. Only 2 weeks til 1/2 term and off to the Isle of Eigg!

Yikes. My friend has just given birth at 37 weeks and she was only 4lb. I feel like mines already atleast 8lb!!

Thanks for the lovely comments and advice, everyone. Sniff :)

Julietee - I personally think that a true friend - whether they have children or not - understands when you're not available because you're feeling rubbish. I missed my best friend's leaving do when I was in first trimester with dd and that friend was going travelling for nine months. She totally understood that I was feeling crap and didn't hold it against me and is Godmother to my dd. If it's a friend that you really don't want to lose then send her a text/email setting out how you feel - it might be she hasn't realised she's upset you. Hope it works out either way.

Shropshire I've actually already got a foam type topper from JL but it doesn't seem to help. But you're right - there's no sense in spending a car on one (not that I could anyway)!
DH is very nervous about learning to drive - my mum has offered to teach him some basics - he has made it very clear he doesn't want to learn from me :) I think to some extent he's burying his head about it and hoping it'll go away - we had this conversation when I took the test, then at 12 weeks, etc.

Sassy Yeah - you're absolutely right. She does have a bad track record of understanding other peoples' limitations though, both physical/ illness related and mental. It tends to have to be me who makes the effort - that's just the way it seems to go with us, which has always irritated me. But I should definitely put aside my wounded pride and contact her. Just don't think I could do it with a congenial tone at the moment.

Oh for an HR department. Been asking for a contract since 2010 and still don't have one. Starts nagging properly in June, had to announce pg without one which I wasn't too happy about an still don't have one, despite pointing out that I would like to fulfill my legal obligations by giving them notice and forms etc - it be nice to know my entitlement first! I'm guessing at just statutory and I think thy have to provide that even without contract? Still, it's a matter of principle. I shouldn't be the one chasing for this... I work remotely and my attempts at communication on it aren't even being acknowledged. PLUS I have a stinking cold and feel like I'm dying. Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh.

milk it's a legal requirement for your employer to provide you with a contract (but you are covered by statutory law anyway!).

Julietee I MADE dh learn to drive when I was pg with ds - he passed 2 weeks before ds arrived - first time! I made all his family get him gift vouchers for driving lessons for christmas. I have seen blocks of 5 driving lessons on groupon for £20-ish but they are regional offers. Once dh had had a few lessons I would let him drive us places so I was just there for legal purposes and not teaching him! Lots of my friends dh's don't drive and it drives them round the bend!

I find dh offers just the right height level and support level to act as a human body pillow. Actual pillows annoy me by sagging between my knees or hip. DH doesn't appreciate this new role but I do remember by the end of my last pg him being willing to do ANYTHING to make me stop whinging and start sleeping

Aw, I just realised the long post I did yesterday never posted at all!

I handed in my matb form yesterday (got from mw at 20 weeks and she signed it), finishing on 24th jan, due 23rd feb, worked out that after tomorrow, that is only 10 working weeks (not including half term and Christmas)! Seems really short!

Also my HoD said she wants someone in from after Christmas for me, as they had someone in for our second in dept from sept and she went off last week on mat leave. However she said she didn't know whether the head would let her... Just have to wait and see when the advert comes out!

Randomly also had 2 people find out I was pregnant yesterdAy, and they hadn't realised - think I am a bit insulted that they just thought I was getting rather fat!

So nice to be over half way there though!

Found you all again! Rome was fab and as you can see from FB pics we tried to get round as many tourist sights as possible, despite the throngs of tourists, cobbled streets and my swollen pregnant ankles. Was a lovely break but I'm pleased to be back on my sofa with my slippers on!

20wk scan took place today at 21+5, everything looking fine and dandy and still team yellow Did have a very freaky moment where she moved the thingy off my belly and put it back and we could just see a skull with two eye sockets peering at the screen!

Can't catch up with the past few days of news from everyone, so congrats on everyone who has finalised a finish date for work and hurrah for kicks!

We are clearing the nursery this weekend to make way for the decorating to commence.

For whoever it was that wanted the choc cake in a mug recipe it's here

You've reminded me i need to get my matb1 form sorted. Can someone please explain how we're almost half way through October already..??! In my head I think it's early Sept at best.

At the baby show the other week I've ordered a double buggy and a bunkcot! Bunkcot is ace as once baby is out of our room she'll have to share with her big sis. Big thanks to my mum who chipped in for those - I want to get mum a pressie to say thanks but can't think what to get. Any ideas?

On the names front our top 6 are now: Stella, Zara, Cassidy, Claudia, Sadie or Liv. Keep changing my mind which i like best.

I've missed so many posts! Been busy with the house move. Btw, hope your move went well tiny. We are having to change GP/midwife too. Such a pain considering we are only a short distance from our original practise.
Great news about the scans. It's starting to feel very feel seeing everyone elses bumps on FB. I find it eaiser to look at mine and imagine I'm just a fatty. I feel happy but SPD is kicking in properly now. Ds2 will have to change schools as the 4x a day bus journey is causing me a lot of pain and no one will give up their seat not even if its just their bag taking up the space. Although sitting is the cause of the problem anyway.
Baby's room is being cleared of all of our boxes and is now left with the baby's items. Can't believe there will be a baby sleeping there in a few months. Well, he will if we ever get on with the decorating.

Will people really not give up their seats Thingy? That's awful. There are some miserable cockwombles around, aren't there?

julietee I can so relate to anxiety and tics being worse when not sleeping. I wake up every morning at 5ish from pelvis pain and then just go off on a complete anxiety trip, and spend the rest of the day tic'ing like a clock :) So frustrating! If you have loads of blankets or spare duvet covers, they work as a very cheap mattress topper!

They really won't dawn. I was quite shocked to see grown men race to a seat when there were young children and even a toddler holding on to the bar for dear life. But it did shock me that people would refuse to move a bag to enable me or my son to sit down. I guess it's everyone for themselves during the rush hour bus journey.

Oh my god thingy that's awful! Is be so pissed off and would be telling them I'm pregnant and in pain and need to sit down in my stern teacher voice if they refused. Normally wouldn't have the bottle but that would spark my pregnancy rage! If they refused I fear there would be a major rant at them considering their bag more important than my unborn child! Cheeky fuckers!

Julietee sorry you are feeling so sad, big hugs! We have a really uncomfortable mattress too. We keep saying we will save up for a new one but it never happens. Meanwhile our DC sleep the night away on luxury mattresses I bought for them a few years ago in the sale. I hope you feel better soon.

I have looked at thousands of boys names and I really am worried. There is nothing I like I think he may have no name.

Suggestions welcome.

Oh julietee I feel your interrupted sleep pain. I keep waking in the early hours and it's so frustrating. I'd also recommend the duvet under sheet to soften the bed. I love being surrounded by pillows at the moment, but it makes turning over hard work!

I had the maternity leave discussion with my boss today. He's such an odd ball, he is rubbish at anything vaguely personal or female related! We (finally) went through the risk assessment and agreed I'd reduce my travel from now on, with none from December.

We agreed that I'd definitely be on leave from 12 Jan, when I'll be 37 weeks. And that we'd leave it open as to whether I actually finish at Xmas. I get another three weeks off work for only 8 annual leave days. my boss is so odd though, I made clear that I was leaving it open in case I was too uncomfortable to commute by then, and he kept talking about work deadlines. I really don't think he's grasped that it's my call when I start maternity leave! If he ends up being funny about it I'll bring my maternity leave forward and carry the annual leave over until the end of my year off. At worse, I only have 13 weeks left!

dawn I think those names are lovely. I love Claudia.

my bump is really large today. There's no mistaking i'm pregnant! After all those weeks of wondering when my bump will appear, it seems to have done in just a few days.

dawn cockwombles is my new favourite word!