September 2013- We've managed to hold them in!

[fl0b0t]

Hi all! Providing the ladies who are currently in hospital don't give birth before the last 20 posts in our old thread, we've made it to a new one with babies all still staying put for now!

Here's the stats thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a1694946-September-2013-STATS-THREAD

Welcome newbies! If anyone wants to join the FB group (better for sharing documents and pictures), please message myself or jennimoo with your real life name and email address and we can add you to the group!

:-)

Jenni- ouchie!
geese good idea- should speak to the dr really! I feel like a pregnancy symptom bore- nausea (check!), acid reflux (check!), spd (check!), carpal tunnel (check!), loose bowels (check!), serious increase in discharge (check!), ooh is that sciatica pain too (check!).

emma very scary to hear about a baby lost at 28 weeks. I guess the important thing to remember (whilst not stressing about) is that sadly a child can be lost at any time. This does not mean to say it will happen to you and each extra week into your pregnancy, the statistics improve exponentially! I've had a quick google and actually the stats look good. I promise you that worrying about it will fix nothing.

Cheers flobot and everyone else for the reassurance. I am an emotional wreck these days, and that through me over the edge! DH and I had arranged (before I heard this news) to look at buggies and car seats last night, so we had to go even though my heart wasnt really in it.

Oh my goodness, so complictated. So many bits/types/iso fix stuff to take in. Didnt get anything but at least my DH now understands why I said one hour on a saturday morning just wont cut it when it comes to buggy buying!!

Jenni - ouch, and sympathy. Get some rest today and catch up on some sleep if you can.
emma very scary. Dh reminded me when his mum died at the age of 43, his grandpa totally fell apart at the loss, and actually died not long afterwards. Just pointing out that once we decide to become parents the loss of a child during pregnancy or at any time afterwards is horrific, but something we expose ourselves to. Not sure how helpful that was. I cried a lot. So did he. But I guess all we can do is look after ourselves now for the best possible outcome, and be sensible with our new babies and bring them up sensibly and hope they don't drive like most teenagers or take up dangerous sports or leave the house without being covered in bubble wrap

Question about the infamous 'plug': I take it not everyone gets a show? Is it quite common to just not get it?
I'm still 4 weeks away but trying to figure whether chances are that I will know and be at least vaguely prepared for going into labour, or whether there is quite a high probability of it being a total surprise? Is it one of those situations where if you really listen to your body you should be ok?

Fl0 you should find a comprehensive list and find all the really nasty symptoms you don't have to make yourself feel better

On the 'show' - I think the mucus plug has to come away at some point but whether or not it's 'obvious' and whether it's before, at the start of, or during labour seems to be pretty random... I wouldn't worry about not seeing labour coming though as everything I've been told at various ante-natal thingies is that there will be lots of twinges and early stuff going on before you get anywhere near strong, regular, contractions (and even then you've got 8-12hrs on average).

Sympathy to all the carpal tunnel/SPD/reflux sufferers. There really is nothing glam about pregnancy. I'm baffled as to why I'm enjoying it!

Show - is just really a vague indication that things are likely to be starting to move - like cramps, loose bowels etc. In my previous pregs, show came about 3 days before labour. For DS1 labour began with waters breaking, for DS2 it was contractions.
Seems like these pesky labours are all different!

You remember how in the first trimester we were holding our jeans together with hairbands ... I've just had to do the same with my maternity shorts

I just went to the tip to get rid of about 8 heavy ish bin bags and about 20 cardboard boxes as we've just moved house and not one person offered to help me! Was doing each bag one trip at a time too

Also, been sticking milk and ice cubes in the blender with nesquik choc milkshake powder... Lush and slightly healthier then all the other crap I've been craving. Almost feeling virtuous

Just wondered as dh brought this up the other day - When are you inviting/expecting visitors post-birth?

DH has two weeks off work, and I really want the first week to be just us with babybear. I feel like that time will be so precious I really don't want to be disturbed or interrupted by visitors. Actually I would quite like to have both weeks with just us ... but I know my dad is off on hols for a few weeks at the start of October and would probably like to visit before he goes, as would friend who is off around the world for a year or so.

I don't feel like we'll need help from anyone in those first few weeks, but the weeks after when dh goes back to work it might be nice to have some company? Also, I'm a bit worried that having visitors early will throw me off trying to learn how to look after a baby or have any kind of routine for feeding and sleeping.

Anyway, just wondered what people have done in the past, or were planning? None of my friends or family are local and I don't really want to have to put them up at our house overnight, and the closest hotel is about 20 minutes away, which isn't bad I suppose. Is it rude/mean not to want to put visitors up?

Hey guys, a long term lurker but this is the first time I've posted. I'm feeling like abit of a beached whale, how much weight have you all gained? Think I'm in for a whopper

Bear we have decided to have a BBQ at the end ish of September (due 8th but kinda not really expecting him til a week or so late) and have let friends and family know that we will invite everybody round then to celebrate and have cuddles etc... We have just sent a semi invite out telling people this and adding that we would like a little bit of time to ourselves first to establish a routine and get to know him etc. everybody has been mega understanding.

Cheese that's a fab idea to invite people all together. Unfortunately I have the most interfering mil and SIL in the world so I know within 24 hours they'll be at my house wanting to do things.
Strangely this is why I'm hoping that bf works for me so I can take him off upstairs to feed (not that I'll feel embarrassed to do it, but because I'm hoping they'll get the message that they should go home) but I know they'll be irritated that I've taken him away and will keep coming up to check etc. cue me having to bite my tongue A LOT.

I'm worried about the visitor thing. My mum was rubbish last time and I ended up 'hosting' her with meals to prep etc. I'm going to try to lay down the law this time (easier I think as she hasn't got quite as far to travel) but if she's the one 'on call' when I go into labour (there's a rota with MIL) then I know she'll not be easily kicked out.

And cheese - living the milk, ice and nesquik idea. Just woken from a nap and wish it would magically appear next to me

Just read my post back and am now wondering how long to expect a feed to last? Possibly not an easy question to answer....obvious first timer here!

I think at first frog it can be anything up to an hour, but I don't really remember. After a couple of month DD was definitely on just 5-10m a go though (but every 1:45m...)

I've already made it clear that we can't have any overnight guests. DH is off for 3 weeks so my mum will be up for week 4 & has already arranged to stay with friends about 20mins.

I was personally quite upset when my bro didn't want me to visit in the first 2 weeks (we've always been quite close, he handled it pretty badly, and unfortunately we don't have the r/ship I would have liked with them/my nephew now as a result). So I won't be stopping people visiting, esp not immediate family. But I have no qualms about asking people to help with things & I def won't be hosting!

Welcome Elbombero!

Well I've just had a fun day in hospital but I'm home now. Went in for routine scan & appointment and ended up having three scans, monitoring for two hours and I have to go back again tomorrow. Both are small and one might have stopped growing. ELCS looks inevitable in the next ten days or so. Gulps...

Visitors - I want it to be just me, DP and the babies for the first two weeks after we get home then we'll decide after that when we want visitors. I don't trust MIL not to persuade DP that she will be staying with us for a month after he goes back to work. She suggested it before, I said no but I think she will do everything she can to talk him into it. I'm determined it will be 3-4 days at a time at most.

After much gallivanting round the country and world, dh and I have ended up within 30mins of both sets of parents and within an hour of both siblings.
All of them are the type to visit for an hour or two and then leave and I have no qualms about leaving dh to do all the 'hosting' and about taking the baby to bed with me if I've had enough so we we're not worrying about trying to pre-empt visiting 'rules'.. we'll just see how we feel. I'm aware we're very lucky though :)

My folks are coming to stay because they live far away and I want ma to do all the cooking and cleaning so me and and baba and dh can spend time together. If it doesn't work out then I'll tell her to go away. We (ma and me) have already discussed it and decided that this is the way to go. She doesn't want to interfere but does want to be useful. No idea what MIL is planning. Her daughter is due two weeks before me so I imagine that she'll be taken up with that baby.

I'm not discussing my weight. Ever.

I am more than sure that there isn't a conceiveable scenario whereby we don't have visitors on the day the baby comes home. DH is really close with his family so they will all inevitably be over asap. I've had to tell him (he was a bit confused...) that I do not want anybody being in my house when we come home from hospital, unless they're a yellow Labrador or scruffy labradoodle! I've managed to win myself a few guest free hours...

With DS, we ended up living with my parents for 5 weeks after he was born. It was absolutely the best thing that could have happened, they were just unobtrusively supportive and made the housework etc run invisibly around us. Food and drink appeared, washing disappeared and reappeared clean, baby was cuddled while I had a bath... It was all good.

However, we went directly there from hospital the day after he was born and PILs were invited round as well. First grandchild on both sides, we were trying to be scrupulously 'fair' although we didn't expect any aggro as such. We didn't know when I was going to be let out, so we just told them when we were on our way and I think they set off the same time. So, got to the house about 1pm, and was sort of 'on show' until the evening. In retrospect I should have bailed out much sooner with baby for some skin to skin in bed, and let them just sit around with DH talking about it. It's not like baby was doing anything particularly interesting (apart from one spectacular shit that dribbled down the leg, out through the poppers, and all over a grandad). Nobody's fault, just that I didn't read the signals and realise how tired I was and that I shouldn't be trying to be engaging.

So I would say if you have family or ILs who you know are going to come round, don't waste your energy fighting it, just be confident to do your own thing whether that is disappearing up to your room for a feed/cuddle/sleep, or asking them to leave the living room while you feed/cuddle/doze. They might be offended but stuff em. They might even get their act together and do some washing up/etc while they're waiting. It's slightly more of a challenge to find the words to suggest things like that, but most people won't be offended at being asked to help with some chores and then get a baby cuddle later, if it's an alternative to being told visiting hours are over, off you pop.

I am not making much sense am I... V tired, final exam tomorrow of my training course, I'm just trying to hold out enough energy for it.

RANT. I'm shattered. Have spent my second day 'off' since leaving work (DD at nursery) cleaning the house - not due to nesting but as FIL invited himself to stay from tonight until Sunday. I mean DEEP clean. I'm so exhausted, I've been cleaning since 1pm with no break bar collecting from nursery, he arrived about 6.30 just as I need to prepare dinner, bath her and put her to bed, she's had no sleep so is mentally tired, has only ever met him twice in her life, he's asking for wine and we have none, phoning everyone to let them know he's arrived and that I'm "looking buxom" (thanks, toss bag) and DH is delayed thanks to trains from London apparently not being able to operate in the heat.

I just want to sit down, have a little cry and down a bottle of Gaviscon!!
Anyway, will go back and catch up with today's thread...