Graduated elderberries - 30+ and looking forward to DC1! (Thread 6)

[HazleNutt]

Oh, looks like I wrote the last post! So new thread here where we will see more berry babies and hopefully loads more graduates as well.

Oh and the MIL has told my OH she doesn't like our choice of boys name, we can't win, she liked the girls name and my mum hated it and now my mum likes the boys name and MIL doesn't. Oh the joys.

I don't really know why I am letting the weight thing get to me so much, my BMI was always on the verge of saying I was overweight due to the boobage and I'm quite muscley which weighs more too. Just sucks that I feel huge, look huge and now the weight tracker tells me I am huge

Sorry, will stop posing now.

You don't look remotely huge in your bump pics Mother!! Apparently Brad Pitt has an obese BMI - it doesn't work well if you are muscly, I have this on good authority from a body builder.

And with all respect I think your mum/MIL should butt out of the names convo. Neither of them get a vote in my book.

Mother i'm sure your weight is fine and 5lbs is nothing. Just concentrate on growing a lovely healthy baby and save the weight worries for afterwards. Absolutely do not try to lose weight while pregnant. I lost over a stone just by giving birth and Elodie was only 6lb8oz so I had over half a stone of waters and placenta, and then lost another half a stone in the following week which I assume was water retention.

And who cares what anyone else thinks of your name choices, it's your baby not theirs. They have already had their turn at naming babies when they had you and your OH.

Thanks girls, needed that, feeling a bit delicate this morning. Don't know why, probably lack of sleep. My OH rolled over last night and I was sure he was rolling out of bed so grabbed him and woke him up with a start....ooops. Seem to be really restless and hot at night and struggle to sleep even though I'm beyond tired, plus I wake up at 3am every night for a wee I know I'm lucky to just get up for the one wee and then wake up at 6am thinking I need to get up for work.

I have to say I agree re the names, I'm sure when they hold their grandson they won't be thinking oh I wish you'd chosen a different name. Plus they should think themselves lucky, my OH has come out with some corkers, I'm sure he thinks he is naming a dog not a child. I'm sure he is joking but he keeps throwing out names such as Thor, Odin and Zulu as middle names, I am totally ignoring him and sticking with Sebastian as a middle name. Men huh.

Oh fuckety fuck fuck.

Just got my bridesmaid dress. Got a size 16 because I'm post baby, and it's been made in china and I was told the sizes come up small (so other bridesmaid is size 8 so ordered a size 10, which is a bit small on her). It fits fine to just above my waist... And then.... Disaster zone. I'm about five inches away from getting it zipped up over my boobs. It has p

Oops.

It has padded boob bits... Which are about four inches above my actual boobs, and the padding is for about an A cup so a weird teeny narrow shape. The pads are practically touching my chin?!!

Wtf do I do?! I was thinking I could buy another one without telling the bride, in like a size 20... But that still might have weird high, small cupped boobs?! And will be too big on the waist? And I'm not sure it will get here...

Why did I say yes to being a bridesmaid so soon after having a baby?!

Mother. I feel your pain. But you've got nothing in me, so let that cheer you up! Seriously upset about being, apparently, the size of a shitting house. Crapping Ada, I'm beyond enormous it would seem...

Oh dear Janey, that is a bit of a biatch. It could be bad dressmaking or making dresses to strange Chinese sizes (perhaps they are generally more economical of nork in China?!). It's hard to know what to do - might be worth seeking out a London dressmaker to have a look and give an opinion on whether it is alterable? Can you confer with any of the other bridesmaids to see if theirs fit?

janey I blame the damn stupid shaped Chinese!!!! Their fault and their fault alone!

I would take it to a dress maker asap and get a professional opinion on what the options are? Would it help to have the padded boobs taken out to give more room? Might be able to alter it somehow? It may not look the same as the other one but many people have the same colour but different styles these days god that makes me sound so old.

If nothing can be done I suggest you talk to your mate (aka the bride) and explain things, tbh she was daft to expect to be able to order off the peg dresses, especially ones you couldnt try for size beforehand, I mean how on earth are you meant to know what size you are? I have no idea now, god knows what I'll be after!

Before you panic though see a dress maker/dress alterer. At least then you can give your mate options.

Oh bollocks Janey, what are you going to do? Is the material one which is available anywhere locally so you could take the dress and spare material to a seamstress to make it fit? I have done that myself with a bridesmaid dress which was too small and she worked a miracle on it and made it look better than the original. Failing that I think you should speak to your friend who is the Bride and come up with a plan together. She will understand your enormous post-baby norks were a total guess size-wise when the dress was ordered. And I'm sure you aren't the size of a house... the sizes and shape of the dresses are clearly all over the place.

Just a TMI heads up for your first post-baby AF's (which hopefully won't be for many months for all you EBFers - I am just unlucky). Mine is beyond heavy and painful - even heavier than initial lochia so I would get a stash of maximum flow sanitary products in for when it arrives as I ended up caught short and had to despatch DH to get supplies. My usual AF is 4ish days with regular tampons and I have been getting through super plus tampons which are like a tree trunk every few hours. Does the indignity of childbirth ever end?

Some guy at work decided to tell me I will be hanging my dignity up on the way into childbirth and will never put it back on afterwards in front of a room full of people. Love these helpful comments I'm suddenly getting from people who think it's their job to prepare me!

janey the reason I got my bridesmaids measured and dresses made in the UK was because of the different shapes and sizes and because one was heavily pregnant etc so having the same colour but different styles was the best option. I'd speak to a local dressmaker and then the bride, and explain the cut/style doesn't work (was risky anyway so she'll understand, I increased our budget for bridesmaid dresses because it's important they fit well and everyone's happy) and see what they think. Can spare material be ordered for alterations? Is it a colour that can be matched quite easily so you could be in a slightly different cut/style? Bride will totally understand, it's her job to sort things like this out as well, she won't want you stressing.

Oh janey that's a tough one. Is the bride a reasonable lady or a bridezilla type one? She should understand really. I have heard lots of horror stories about Chinese dresses and I think I even saw it on fake Britain!! Their measurements are crazy and if you have a bit more curves than the average Chinese it will prob not fit you well. Do you know if you're the only one with problems? Are all the other bridesmaids happy? I bet they're not.
I would do what the others said and look for a dress fitter and see if they can help you. Good luck
I'm dreading af cav. Btw have you decided on contraception? I've got doctors on Monday and I think I will go onto the progesterone pill.
Mother yeah dignity will never return . I got my tit out in a restaurant yesterday as baby was hungry and got serious evils from some Arab women! Was tempted to get both of them out at the same time just for more impact

Haha lol you should have!!

cav that sounds nasty I am planning on having a coil as contraception afterwards, then if we do want to try for another one no drugs have to clear my system, plus I dont have to remember to take pills yes Im lazy!.

2 people have now asked if Ive started packing my hospital bag?!? I'm only 30 weeks, I've not even thought about it yet. What do I need to pack and when?? All tips appreciated.

Mother I packed my bag at 30 weeks after my friend went into spontaneous labour and had her DD (who is now a healthy 5 year old) at 31 weeks. It's unlikely but not unheard of and I wanted to make sure I had my stuff with me when it did happen. Turns out I had loads of time to pack during my marathon labour!

Re contraception, I am also getting a copper coil fitted. I had one before TTC and liked the ease of it and the fact that it is non-hormonal. I asked my GP at 6 week check and he said I should wait until 12 weeks to get one fitted.

eeek cavort I'll have to get my arse in gear then.

lol you certainly should have! I'm not a militant breastfeeder or anything, but do those people giving us evils realise that if I don't feed the baby, he will scream his head off? Surely it's less pleasant than having him eating happily and quietly.

janey Chinese women don't have tits, they don't know how to make dresses for women who have.

Vic again didn't want the bottle, wonder what's up with that. And I need to be out of the house for several hours on Saturday.

lol that made me laugh! Hope I can breastfeed proudly like that although bit worried I'm going to be a prude about the whole thing!

mother I'm only 3 weeks behind you - wow packing a hospital bag makes it all sound very real and exciting!

Did/is everyone having whooping cough vaccines? What about vitamin K for baby post birth? Think these are the only decisions I have left to make, and am thinking of def having the whooping cough one at least. On contraception, I hate the idea of going back on the pill or anything like that purely as I was quite infertile without clomid so don't want to bugger around with hormone control. Condoms are crap though. I wonder if I'll be more fertile post baby, as otherwise I wouldn't need anything and still wouldn't get preggers! Bit of a risky strategy though!

It's scary isn't it alex! Eeeek, I don't have half the things I need to pack either.....ooops.

I think having a baby can make you much more fertile so I wouldn't be so sure you won't fall pregnant afterwards, perhaps chat to your doctor as I know people who tried to conceive for years then fell naturally and very quickly and totally unplanned the second time around.

I'm worried I'm going to feel awkward breastfeeding too, although a quiet baby is defo better than a screaming one, that would help me overcome any shyness.

I've got my whooping cough jab tomorrow so can tell you how I get on. Nobody has spoken to me about the Vit K jab though? My OH finally go to feel bubs having a squirm, he normally stops as soon as he puts his hand on little terror he thought he was kicking but I had to tell him not that wasn't a kick that was just him moving, the kicks you can see as my whole tummy moves....very alien looking.

That's strange Hazle if he was taking a bottle before, do you think he will have one if he is hungry enough? I will be gutted if Elodie does it and I lose the few lie ins I am getting!

Lol it's a shame baby wasn't wearing one of these And Breastapo is a great word even if it is the Daily Fail.

Alex and Mother public BFing is a bit daunting for the first few times and then it's absolutely fine after that. We went to a park first of all to get my confidence up in a quiet place and then built up to busier ones and in front of family and friends. I even walked through a busy shopping centre BFing because I was too short on time to sit down/find the baby room. I usually drape a large muslin over my shoulder and Elodie's head but that's more to save other people's blushes rather than my own. My prudish friend can't face even trying it in public so her baby's erratic feeding schedule is ruling her life at the moment and she has to stay in or leave places early to go home and feed. Each to their own but I just couldn't live like that.

I had the whooping cough jab, said yes to vitamin k and had every form of pain relief available during labour and both Elodie and me are absolutely fine.

Thanks for dress advice. Seeing a dressmaker tomorrow so fingers crossed he finds a way to cram my massive boobs in.

I had whooping cough and said yes to vitamin k. I know the risks of baby having that syndrome (can't remember name) are quite small, but even so, didn't want to risk the baby's life if I said no. Figured I'd never forgive myself if something went wrong...

Hospital bags - exciting!! :) I will try to find my list...

I love the hat cav!!! I was a bit shy at first but like you said I want to bf and still have a life so it's a no brainer really. And the less you care the more people stare!
Good luck janey.
Yes I had whooping cough and vitamin k injection. Also had injection to make placenta be delivered quicker. As well as all forms of available drugs.
I had a hospital bag for me and one for baby. Hers had 6 vests and 6 baby grows on 2 different sizes, nappies and nappy bags, wipes, two hats and a coat, a blanket and a couple of muslin cloths. Mine had a load of stuff which I never used tbh but I could have done if I'd had to stay longer so you need to decide if you want to take it all or have an extra bag in how boot of the car in case you stay longer.

thanks lol. Well I've packed babies bag, seems I have all his stuff but none of mine need to get that sorted pretty quick I guess.

All I have for me are face wipes, make up and toiletries. Im guessing I need old pants which I dont mind getting in a right old pickle, button up nighties or tops to go with shorts/pj bottoms twit twoo breast pads (actually have those), towel and shower stuff, drinks, snacks, hairbrush, phone an charger, tens machine, sani/maternity pads (what is the difference??) a jug (just incase its needed for loo trips) what else do I need ladies?

I've found my old list - or I think it is. Here goes:

5x sleep suits
5x body suits
Scratch mitts
Booties
Hats
Nappies
Sudocrem
Maternity pads
Massive pants
Nightie x 2
Clothes to go home in
Baby clothes to go home in
Camera
Phone charger
Pillow
Nappy sacs
Plastic bag for washing to go in
Toothpaste
Toothbrush
Deodorant
Shower gel
Stretch mark cream
Bio oil
Drinks
Snacks
Changing mat
Baby wipes
Cotton wool
Breast pads
Lanisoh
Bra
Headband
Hair bands and clips
Blanket for baby
Vaseline
Notebook and paper
Flipflops or slippers

We were in for four days in the end due to Miles being in NICU. I had enough to last me I think. I wish I'd put in, with hindsight, some clean pants and a t shirt for DP - might be worth shoving a couple of things in the boot just in case he needs them and doesn't want to leave the hospital. Glad I took lots of drinks and snacks - I missed lots of meals due to being in NICU and post natal wards are boiling and they simply don't give you enough water...

Ps don't forget Lanisoh. And use it after every single feed. Think of it as a preventative measure. Breast feeding is sore enough to begin with without cracked or bleeding nipples being added into the mix

Thanks janey you're a super star!! Shall check what I need to buy thinking about the bag makes it seem very real all of a sudden exciting and scary!