Graduated elderberries - 30+ and looking forward to DC1! (Thread 6)

[HazleNutt]

Oh, looks like I wrote the last post! So new thread here where we will see more berry babies and hopefully loads more graduates as well.

Advanced moan warning. If possible my OH is being even worse this weekend than last weekend, what's worse, he keeps trying to hug me as he knows Im angry....as if that's going to happen! I dont know how much longer I can cope with doing everything, it's driving me mad! Is it wrong to expect a little help when I'm 28 weeks pregnant?

Today he slept till 12.40 he's 27, I woke him up in the end feel like his mother having to wake him up to go food shopping, then I met a friend for a dog walk, when we got back 2 hours later he's done nothing but sit on the sofa and watch a film, even though we have 15 people round for a bbq tomorrow an have heaps of prep which needs doing.

Sad and stressed today!

Sounds like he's not thinking. I think you need to collapse in a flustery heap and start crying. would that help?

Oh mother poor you. 12.40?! That sounds amazing is ridiculous. Do you think it just isn't crossing his mind to help? Or he's being deliberately lazy?

tally that probably would help, I do angry so much better than upset though.....need to work on that.

He told me janey that he deserves his lie-ins as he won't be getting them for much longer. I dont mind a lie-in, but 12.40 geez, 10 or 11 yeah but nearly 1pm not good.

Whereas you will be having loads of lie-ins once the baby has arrived?!

Tears are probably a good route if angry doesn't work! You can point out (through sniffles) that you're exhausted from actually growing his baby, and scared about how tired you'll be from getting up to feed his baby all night long. So it's YOU that needs to get a load of zzzz's in the bank, not him!!

Thanks janey! So nice to know I'm not going mad and he is actually being a shit.

Unsurprisingly he isnt tired so have left him downstairs, at least I get the bed to myself for a while now

Lovely anniversary dinner with DH followed by Alpha Papa at the cinema (hilarious, highly recommended) and then we got in and DTD which didn't hurt a bit. In fact my boobs hurt much more than episiotomy as they hadn't been emptied for 5 hours so were rock hard. Also, when DH lay on them they leaked everywhere. I was also a bit worried about fanjo being like a wizard's sleeve but apparently not. I have now left DH asleep while I am downstairs expressing before they explode... can't have everything I suppose.

Alex your car will be fine. We need a family car because we have a 7 year old part-time child and quite a big dog in addition to a baby.

And looks like it wasn't AF as it's stopped again.

Literally green with envy over your evening cavort!

I am SO tired. With the odd exception, miles now seems to be awake from 2am to 5am. Only been since his growth spurt but in exhausted. He seems to have trapped wind and struggles to fart at that time. Any genius ideas?!

Baked beans Janey? Mushy peas... curry... sprouts?

I have no idea how to make the poor little man fart. Does Dr Google have any suggestions?

I bet you feel like shit with his new time keeping, I really hope it doesn't last for you.

whoop whoop, nice work cavort

Go cavort yours def got more than my DH will be getting on our anniversary on Tues!

mother sorry yours isn't pulling his weight, frustrating. Upset and pulling a cute face def works better than anger with my DH.

I keep waking up on my back every night, either for the loo or in the morning - I seem to only stay on my side whilst falling asleep. NHS site goes on about how that's bad for baby because of restricting blood flow but I don't get how I can stop doing it?! Any ideas?

Alex I wouldn't worry about it. It is best to sleep on your left, and I always went to sleep like that, but often I woke on my back or on my right. My midwife said not to worry and that your body would wake you or move you if your position was restricting blood flow. Who knows if that's true, but I'm certain that it's impossible for pregnant women to spend all night on their left hand side...

Victor slept til 10 this morning. Had some feeding breaks of course, but then fell asleep again - this must be the 'after growth spurt' time. I actually feel dizzy from too much sleep, not used to it any more.

Nice work victor!

Alex Im the same, I actually get kicked heaps more if I lay on my left so tend to sleep better on my right.....annoying isnt it.

Hello again Grads, thought I'd be brave and come back in. I'm having a little wobble and don't want to whinge about being diffed to the rest of the berries, hope you don't mind doing a little newbie hand-holding?

Anyway, I know I'm being silly but all the symptoms I had last week seem to have disappeared despite repeated nipple prodding and even though I know symptoms don't necessarily equal a healthy pregnancy, I'm now worrying in case the worst happens again. Last time was totally symptom-free so I was really hoping to have some indication of diffedness this time. I'm being melodramatic but I can't help it, I'm a nervous wreck! I've just booked a private scan at 8+3 as I don't think I'll get an early scan on the NHS, but now I'm not sure if it'll make me feel better or worse. Last time I had a dating scan at 8wks and all was fine but when I had mmc they said the baby had stopped developing at 8+2 so I'm not sure how reassuring it would be... is it a waste of money do you think?

Anyway, sorry to be so miserable on such a lovely Sunday, I'm just terrified of it all going wrong again!

Just to add my 2p's worth to the conversation so it doesn't look like I came in here just to whinge even though I basically did, you could try wedging a pillow behind your back Alex, it would stop you rolling over, but agree with janey, I wouldn't worry too much about it!

Boom The scan won't stop anything going wrong (as you know) but that doesn't mean it won't reassure you for a while or be a nice thing to do. My symptoms are off and on, went from horrific morning sickness to not a single symptom basically overnight and panicked but think it is normal as your hormone levels continue to rise and your body reacts to the changes in levels. It doesn't help but all I can say is that I have not had a single worry free day since my bfp, think during the early days it is normal
mother was it you who had bleeding after sex? Needing some reassurance too!

Oh boom, poor you. The first 12 weeks really are unbearable. I promise it gets easier!

Completely understand what you're saying and how you're feeling. I had no symptoms at all with this pregnancy, and now have a lovely healthy baby. I know it's easier said than done but try not to worry overly about that as the symptoms really don't mean anything.

In terms of the scan, I had a mmc before this pregnancy. I too had a scan last time at about 8 weeks and saw the heartbeat, only to find at 12 weeks things had gone wrong. It was really hard as I'd read online that once you've seen a heartbeat the chances of mc are only about 5% I think.

Anyway, I forked out for an early scan again this time. For me it wasn't a waste of money - I just kept telling myself that the chances of me being in that 5% again were so slim. So we saw the heartbeat and it did make me feel better. I was naturally shitting it a bit nervous again for the 12 week scan, but all was fine.

I don't know if the scan would reassure you, but despite my past experience it really did help me. Maybe it would help reassure you too?

Merkin - cross post - I had a bit of bleeding after sex and going to the loo and thankfully all was fine.

Do you know, I think the stresses of early pregnancy are worse than the sleepless nights once you have a baby!

Thanks janey, good to know that you found it useful and nice to hear that everything went well for you second time round. I'll keep the appointment then and hope all is well when we go...I feel like I need to do something to reassure myself before I end up rocking in a corner, clutching a used CB digi and muttering 'precioussssss'....

Merk knew I could count on you for some wise words! If it helps, (although I'm sure you know, being a professor and all ) bleeding after sex isn't considered to be a risk unless it's heavy or prolonged, a bit of spotting is considered normal after a bedroom sesh. Not that I intend to find out because poor Mr Boom isn't allowed anywhere near me until we're well past 12 weeks!

Boom nice to see you back in. It is really hard isn't it? Like some others I had a reassurance scan around 8 weeks with this one (after a MMC last time) and did find it helped. Again, my symptoms were very on and off, your body can adjust to the new hormone levels so you stop feeling them. There's not much anyone can say to stop you worrying I know - one thing I did find it helped to tell myself was that going through the wringer of a MC is horrible, and if it happened again it happened again and nothing I could do would change it, I had put myself in the firing line for it by being pg HOWEVER I wasn't going to 'suffer' needlessly now by worrying in the present about a (statistically unlikely) hypothetical future MC. Does that make sense? I had been having some CBT which helped me see that worrying is both a) futile and b) to some extent something you can choose to do or not do (not that it is easy!)

Alex I am ignoring the stuff about sleeping on your back - I can't see how you can choose what position you end up sleeping in!

Hi girls
Horray for our first post natal berry shag cavort
Boom I top had a mc first time around and had very few symptoms on this pg. not even been sick once! I panicked over everything and those 8 weeks until the scan were the worst in my life. I now have a lovely if a tad noisy baby girl. Nothing we can say will stop you worrying but just try to take it one day at a time!
And I would not worry about sleeping either. Is hard enough to get any sleep especially in the end and you should sleep whichever way you can. that's not to say I didn't worry about still birth due to my sleeping but then I worry about everything
Lara has been very clingy for the last 2 nights. She did sleep for 5 hours from 8pm to 1am but then would not settle until 3 and then spent the whole night on my chest. I'm a bit tired today as a result .

Aw lol I remember you from the ttc after mc thread, in fact wasn't that when we changed to 'B' names for luck (bombasticpeanut)? Mine just took longer to kick in, clearly Congratulations on your little girl, can't believe it's even been long enough for you to already have had a baby!

Quod very good advice, worrying is indeed completely pointless and there's no point trying to second guess the outcome won't stop me trying Will just have to grit my teeth and plough on until the scan!

Wow boom I hadn't realised it was you!!! Yes I changed my name to a B name after a few people got their bfps! I fell pg in November and my baby was born 3 weeks ago! Time flies when things are good!
Stick here with us and we will hold your hand until your scan - have you got a date yet?

Only for the 8wk private one lol, it'll be on the 14 Sept unless I miraculously manage to persuade the powers that be that I deserve a free one!

I got a free one when I went to the gp and told them how anxious and scared I was feeling. Might be worth you calling your EPU directly as well. Mine will let you self refer especially after mc so worth a go x