October 2013 - Who is the least prepared?

[GTbaby]

just made it in time for last post on old thread... i hope

Midwife been and gone, everything looking good, ketones in urine apparently probly not eating enough in the heat but tbh I'm not hungry at all.

Probly bacon rolls for dinner here 34 too hot to be cooking full meals I think.

How's the hair umlauf?

falcon mine leak a little every now and then nothing to warrant breast pads though I was also lucky last time and had nothing until after delivery

Me and dh haven't told dd a name for the baby as we're undecided our selves and don't want to confuse her as she's only 2.8 years and when the midwife was listening to the heartbeat dd said 'I can hear my baby dexter' so she's obviously been listening to me and dh talking lol

WC vaccination hasn't even been mentioned too me ? Xx

Falcon my boobs are a bit leaky too, think pretty normal.

Sunning my bump in the back garden with a bump band as a boob tube and my dress rolled down and up (if that makes any sense). Couldn't get a maternity swimming costume that fitted to have gone for a two piece bikini with proper cup size top and bottoms in two sizes bigger than normal. So figured better get my belly used to sun before we arrive in Spain in two weeks. DD kindly rubbed too much factor 50 kids lotion on and is now saying I have a smurf in my tummy

I was given a leaflet early on regarding whooping cough vaccination, but my MW doesn't seem too encouraging about them. She basically said 'Have a read and make your own decision, but bear in mind that that leaflet will try to sell it to you.' ... and she hasn't mentioned it since. I have an appointment on Thursday so I may query her on it all then.

34 DH and I seem to have the same meals every week now, partially because I don't have the motivation to try and come up with something new. Ham, egg and chips is always a winner, although on a day like this I would be inclined to pick up a rotisserie chicken from the supermarket and have it with lettuce, tomato, cucumber, peppers and black olives if DH wasn't away tonight.

I too am fed up with people commenting on how big my bump. I get stupid questions like "are you sure there's only one in there?" Or "are you sure they haven't got the dates wrong?"
On the name front we are pretty set on George for a boy but can't agree on a girls name. I like Isla but DH isn't sure. I reckon we will end up with George for a Boy and Georgia for a girl lol

Hair is fine, thank you all for asking! I feel a bit silly for worrying now, but had an awful mullet experience in Italy once so I'm so paranoid in hairdressers!

bridget and jethro my pharmacist gave me some herbal stuff for hayfever and its worked wonders, she said it was entirely safe and there's nothing on the packet, might be worth a try? Otherwise there are the old wives methods, buy and consume lots of local honey etc? Poor you, hayfever can ruin summers. I remember trying to take gcses with water streaming down my face.

clapham so sorry to hear how you are feeling, having toxic parents is a form of emotional abuse it is so difficult to escape from so you have done amazingly well, of course you are feeling more delicate now. I hope you don't think I'm typing out of turn but the "daughters of narcissistic mothers" website is really good (you can find it by googling) and might be therapeutic for you. You have created a perfect family of your own that they are missing out on.

Bump size, the most annoying one I've got is a colleague who I see very rarely saying over and over again "god you're huge!" She's the only one of us who isn't a native english speaker and although her english is perfect, she makes up for it by over intoning everything so her speech is very exaggerated, so its like, "OH my GOD, LOOK at you, you're HUUUUGGGEEEEE." Urgh!

Thanks also for the WC reassurance, hopefully baby will be ok until his own jabs then.

On the name thing, I love Dexter, its so cool but not too try hard! I can tell when friends don't like the name we've gone for (Albert/Bertie) because they keep politely suggesting new ones! Someone suggested Raoul and Emily Junior over Albert so they must really hate it!!!!

falcon mine are the same too, they seem to be worse when I'm doing something that jostles them if that makes sense? That sounds like I juggle them or something...

claphammama there's another forum I sometimes go on that has a phase called beandip for replying and changing the subject when someone asks something you're not comfortable with, like "no, but my MIL is such a great help, so would you like some beandip/ have you seen such-and-such on the news/did I tell you we're finishing the nusery?" There's a thread here that you might be interested in www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=128089.0

Jethro my midwife didnt know what was safe to take but went and found a doctor and he wrote me out a prescription for chlorphenamine for my hay fever, might be with giving you doc a ring?

I'm off sick today and feeling sorry for myself. I think it was something bbq'd that did it so I'm going to cremate all my food once I can face eating again... Bah...

Left work early due to very painful pelvis today.

Came home n straight to bed. DH bought me a strawberry milkshake so am very happy ATM :) think ill have a snooze now.

Clapham I have similar family issues, my dad is fine and I speak to him a lot, my mum is very dramatic and her and my younger sister are very (I'd say unhealthily) close. Unfortunately my sister and I do not get on at all and she and my mum 'take sides' over whatever drama my sister decides she's going to have at that present time to do with me.

We had a big falling out last month over nothing at all, but then she started sending me nasty texts about how I was selfish and that I was a bad sister because I didn't reply to a text she sent me asking to borrow my vacuum cleaner (yes, really!).

Then she went to my parents' in a hysterical state saying "I've ruined everything, she's not going to let me see the baby" when all I asked her was why she felt the need to send such a horrible text. My dad told me she camped out at theirs for two days crying about it and mum called me to tell me that my sister was sorry. She's 30 years old, if she's that sorry she can tell me to my face!

That was a month ago and I still haven't spoken to her. Obviously she's manipulated the whole situation to get mum on her 'side', even though all that happened is that I was busy and didn't reply to a text. So now my relationship with my mum is strained, which is brilliant when I could do with some support.

I've just distanced myself from the whole thing, but mum is saying that she's hurt that she's not more involved with my life. Can she really not see why that is?? Urgh!

Sorry, I realise I went on a massive rant there, but some people in my life are a royal pain in the arse and I can't be dealing with other people's self-imposed dramas when I have other things to be thinking about.

On a more positive note, I just had my mat date sorted. I start 'working from home' on 23 September - hurrah!

I am also taking chlorphenamine 4mg for allergies. It was prescribed by a doctor too, who said that it is identical to Piriton (it's just the clinical name) so to buy Piriton in future, which is perfectly safe after the first trimester

Sorry for the cross post smitten. Sorry to hear about your family. Your sister sounds like a handful

I'm off sick today too, sparkle, I'm feeling so guilty about it. I neve call in sick and don't really know what's wrong with me so I'm thinking I should have gone in. It's all so unspecific and vague. I'm exhausted, headaches, head full of cotton wool etc. if I wasn't pregnant, I wouldn't have considered calling in, but the SPD on top is just making me feel v sorry for myself, howeve there is nothing really wrong iykwim?

This may sound barking mad, but I'm longing for my boobs to leak! I'm really keen to breastfeed, and have already started worrying about not being able to. I'd find a bit of leaking very reassuring!

clapham, sorry you have such a toxic family, sounds like you've risen above it and three cheers for lovely mil.

I'm not a fan of unnecessary vaccinations, my work offers us all the flu vaccine very year and I never have it, but will be having WC (and probably the flu jab this year, for the baby rather than me). I was really ill when I was a baby with WC (pre vaccination) and from what my mother tells me, it's not something I want to go through.

We're still struggling with names, but aren't sharing any in real life. People will be told the name we've chosen when the baby is born and will just have to like it! Current possibilities include Rufus or Morgan for boys, Estella or Genevieve for girls but they're names we've both agreed are ok rather than we love.

Omg, smitten, your sister sounds like a nightmare. I'm not close at all to mine (hoping being an auntie might help with that a bit) but we're just distant and have nothing in common, none of the stressful drama you have to put up with.

I'd be so happy if we were distant soup but she won't let me get away with a life of peace.

When DH and I got married they were a nightmare and my mum actually said to me once "you need to think about your poor sister in all of this and how upset she will be on the day because you have met someone and she is single, poor thing."

Seriously!

thanks for your support all. X

umlauf you are not talking out of turn at all - "emotionally abusive" is the best way to describe my (academic and highly educated but also highly cruel) family, and my doctor was trying to make them see it when it all ended up in my severe depression at the age of 15... to no avail. She just couldn't get through to them. I will try to google that website later.

smitten your mum and your sis sound so much like mine... and the things they tell me about myself are just awful, for no reasons at all really (same small reasons you mention). The word "selfish" is honestly engraved in my soul by now... they keep blaming me for distancing myself from them but the truth is that my mum alienated herself completely, from everyone. She doesn't talk to my father (although they live in the same house), she didn't really have any relationship with her mum, or any of her 4 siblings, no friends or even colleagues now that she is retired... so she is a very angry, unhappy and lonely person. My DP and my ex both think my sis and her are simply jealous of me and it took me years to admit that perhaps it may be true... But jealous of what? I've had to work so hard for everything I have, nothing was ever offered to me, I had to build my life from scratch or, thanks to them, from less than zero really. And today, having treated me like s* and having invented some terrible things that didn't actually happen in the past, they simply wanted money...

Sorry for this massive and very heavy, personal moan but feeling really upset and used today

sparkleigh and soup just seen your posts - sorry you are feeling poorly, and in this weather too!

soup don't worry, I had absolutely no leaking when pregnant with DS and then had liters of milk... literally didn't know what to do with it! I don't think it's an indication how much milk you will eventually produce. It wasn't for me

clapham, jealousy was the thing that sprang to my mind, especially when you mentioned that they were always on about how "lucky" you are. In my experience, "lucky" people have almost always worked damn hard to be so "lucky" (lottery winners aside)!

They sound totally like mine. I have pointed out to my mum that her and my sister are responsible for what happens in their lives and they didn't ought to be relying on other people for everything and then throwing their toys out of the pram when they don't get their way.

My mum is always saying how 'lucky' I am when my poor sister can't afford a house or find a boyfriend, I didn't notice this at all but it was DH that got the hump when we bought our house. She kept saying how lucky we were to have a house and be getting married and he was like "hang on, we've worked hard and saved for this, there's no luck involved."

It's a ridiculous way to carry on. I've kind of accepted that we'll never be close, but my sister just flies off the handle about every life decision that I seem to make and won't leave me alone to get on with things. It's all very odd.

I hope that yours calm down a bit, there's nothing worse than that feeling of dread when it comes to family arguments.

smitten and clapham and a from someone in a similar situation (the angry, lonely, bitter description could have been written about my mum, clapham )
I just about keep up contact, but sometimes I wonder why. It's difficult, but my dad is worth keeping in my (and my baby's life).
I'm lucky to have a good relationship with my brother, though.

hour your family woes smitten and Clapham.

Soup You'll probably find that you are producing colostrum if you squeeze. I have never actually leaked even when breastfeeding.

Not sure how "sorry about" became hour.

I am so sorry about all of you with difficult relatives! In here my only difficult one is SIL so easy to manouvre, although we have an 18th birthday party ( my niece) and the comments about how huge/ fat/ old/ and lazy will come my way. After 15 years of marriage I just let it wash over me, but when DS was born 14 years ago I really really struggled. I will never forget once when she was particularly nasty and I stormed out with DD and DS and DH ( the most placid and distracted creature on earth asked me why. I told him ( can't even remember anymore) and he came inside and was so sharp, so cutting that surprised everyone and she was mortified for years... Still not mortified enough as the comments will be there next time.!
My DML was great considering all things and my DM is our 3rd parent ( as dcs call her).

Ps I am huge ( enormous bump)/ fatter ( size 16 in a small frame)/older (well 42) but not lazy ( but as a housewife that is what ppl think sometimes). But not her place. To. Say. Anything.

thanks again - so happy I posted it now! I almost deleted my heavy moany post twice before actually posting it... So good to know I'm not the only one with a difficult family... DP has a lovely perfect family and it always makes me so acutely aware of how different mine is. smitten, shire I hope it will all help us be even better mums to our children. I have no idea how well I am doing but I'm trying so hard to grow DS's sense of self worth and I'm so careful with my words and what I feed to this little vulnerable brain.

On a positive note, one of my agencies just send me a lovely flower bouquet for my birthday. It looks beautiful and smells amazing and really cheered me up. What are my chances of delivering it home in a reasonable shape on the sweaty crowded tube??

Lol Clapham when I left work for ML with DS they gave me a massive bouquet - it got rather squashed on the tube for Victoria to Finchley :o

*from

So sorry to hear that so many of you have relative issues. There have been comments in the past (more from friends than family) about how 'lucky' I am to have met DH and to have a job that I enjoy, but I know that I am very lucky and try not to take it for granted, although to be fair I have had to work hard and make sacrifices for what I have now. The promising thing is that, because you are subjected to this sort of thing now, you won't be like that with your own children.

My boss' wife had a baby the other day (last Sunday). She was 10 days overdue and weighed in at 10lb 0.5oz (!). They brought her in to the office on Thursday and I got to have a little cuddle; she was the first new born that I have ever held. I cannot believe how soft her skin was, and considering her weight at birth, just how tiny she was! I think I might need to buy a couple of smaller babygrows because the ones I have look quite big in comparison to their little daughter! Ah, she was so soft (AND she didn't cry on me )

My friend text me the other day to say that his friends wife (pregnant & due late September) gave birth the other day 3 months early. I don't know the reasons (and I don't know the couple), but apparently it was a c-section and Mum and baby are doing fine. Pretty scary though!

The other morning I couldn't sleep so I started looking at random things originally starting with old wives tales regarding the baby's sex. Anyway, I came across this random article that stated that, apparently;

• Boys have a higher percentage of their Mum's genes than their Dad's, whereas girls have 50/50.
• Women carrying girls will have more of a boob growth than if they were carrying a boy.
• And my favourite; women who indulge in chocolate every day of their pregnancy are more likely to have more outgoing children than those who don't.

All of these "facts" are probably completely wrong, but I am taking the chocolate one very seriously and making double-y (sometimes triple-y) sure that my baby is a sociable little one!