October 2013 - Who is the least prepared?

[GTbaby]

just made it in time for last post on old thread... i hope

I'm staying as far away from the scales as I can. I've definitely noticed that my bump feels so much heavier this week, it's got some real gravity to it. I do feel really cumbersome though.

One of my friends had a very premature baby at 25 weeks a few years ago (completely fine now) and I was looking at the pics last night from when he was first born. I can't fathom that my baby is that size already. Crazy!

On another note how amazing is this? (link below) I wish they did it here, I'm sure it wouldn't cost the government anything as the companies would all be vying to donate items for marketing. Better than Bounty anyway!

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2354516/Will-royal-baby-sleeping-BOX-Finland-sends-Duchess-Cambridge-traditional-baby-kit.html

Flyer....... I put on 4 stone in my last pregnancy. I started at 8 stone 2 and went up to 12 stone. I lost most of it quite quickly though. I really wouldn't worry......that tiny baby inside of you needs to be fed

Smitten......I would love one of those boxes. They look fab

Oh flyer try not to be too down about it. All women are different, some put loads on and some don't. I am in the put loads on camp but I know it comes off so I'm not too distressed about it yet! Are you having a boy or girl? I think they say you put more on with girls- not true for my case though! Remember a lot of it is water at this stage and extra blood and the placenta so its not all 'fat'

Thanks for reassuring comments. Shooting we are having a surprise, although most people think it's a girl, maybe that's why. I've just downloaded a few new books and am going to sit outside and get lost in a book rather than sat here moping around feeling sorry for myself!

flyer my lovely you sound really down, try not to be. Easier said than done i know, as I have also put on around that much but I was nowhere near as slender as you to begin with (in fact nearer to your now weight!!!) and I too feel totally crap about it. I've got he baby in my tummy, one in each bum cheek, and really tiny babies hiding in my bingo wings and one posing as an additional chin.

Things I have done to feel better: 1) chuck scales. 2)pack away ALL clothes that don't fit right now, hide them all! Only keep maternity stuff out. 3)plan healthy meals 4)plan after-birth weigh loss plan (for me, planning helps even if I never do the stuff!)

Welcome prisci and bonjour! Are you having the baby in France or England? I totally know what you mean about petit bateau, I bought a little t shirt for my friends baby's first birthday, he is a chunky little lad and I knew French babies were small so we bought age 2, hoping he wouldn't be offended..... It was too blimming small! It is true about French babies being small though! We live right on the border and Spanish babies are lovely and cuddly, and you can just tell who the French day-trippers are!

I'm also a victim of the European pregnancy starvation regime. Obviously, as I've described above, its not worked, and they just despair at my bulbous body at each midwife visit! I cry for the 20 mins following the visit, and then come on here and laugh it off with the lovely normal ladies of mumsnet!! I imagine France must be ever stricter than Spain though (based only on my observations on the size of their babies!)

aww flyer, am not too fussed about weight gain more concerned about losing it afterwards, some people gain only a little and still struggle to lose that after the baby is born.

Can I ask a really silly question as am 28 weeks today with first and starting to panic about labor. Is it really, really, really painful?! I know you forget the pain afterwards like they say but I always panicked about labor.
As a teenager, the only thing that kept me away from boys was not really my strict upbringing but the petrifying fear of pushing a human being out from down there, just wondering what the pain intensity is like and I do not like watching OBEM!

Flyer dont be sad hun your were tiny to start with your allowed to gain weight when pg. I have gained 15lbs but I am "obese" to start with the bigger you are the less you tend to put on. I dont give a jot as long as Willow is healthy i will enjoy my few hours at the gym a week once she arrives all chubby and lovely!

umlauf and prisci poor you and those poor skinny french babies I cant imagine it. The cultural differences are vast!

Umlauf your post cheered me up....I also have a babies growing in my bum cheeks, thighs, etc etc!

I think your suggestion to plan healthy meals is what I shall do from now on. If any of my work colleagues even dare bring anymore haribos into the office I shall slap them and I'm also going to plan a after birth diet/exercise plan...DP was lovely and simply said "Caz you are growing a baby and you look lovely" thanks again.

Lol funkky for me it was painfull don't get me wrong but as it starts mild and builds up it doesn't usually just wake u up in the middle of the night with full blown 10cm contractions of that makes sense plus you are kinda willing for the next contraction cos each one u have is a step closer too having your baby. My main after pain was like u no if u use a muscle I don't usually use a lot? Say u painted a wall and the muscles in your arm aches as your not used to painting a large amount my whole body felt like that for a cpl of days after but remember it can't be that bad or we wouldn't be back for second third fourth fifth even sixth dc lol

I have only put on a stone so far which is baffling me as my bump is huge. I was just under 9 stone before being pregnant with ds and put on 4 stone last time..2 stone by 20 weeks. I lost most of it pretty much straight away though did start this pregnancy a stone heavier at 10 stone. So I am the same shape and size as last time but haven't put on much...bizarre.

One thing I found odd after the birth of ds is that after losing all that fluid and of course the baby, my bump remained for a few days and I still looked 9 months pregnant. It did go down gradually but I was expecting to lose the bump immediately.

My notes are green and I only ever take them to appointments. I wonder when the NHS will manage a system where the patient doesn't have to carry around their own notes for 9 months :)

shooting it does scare me the difference between areas in the NHS. My midwife told me to ring the maternity unit and they would prob want to see me to check for infection etc...but when I rang them they said not to worrry as it had happened a week previously so unlikely to be my waters. Just keeping an eye really as wouldn't want to go this early!

Flyer try not to stress about weight gain, you will lose at least a stone the minute baby is here and then rest pretty quickly as a new born leaves you very little time to sit and eat.

funkky the pain of childbirth is difficult to describe, you know the pain you get in your calf when it goes into a bad cramp? Well contractions a bit like that but when it passes there is absolutely no after pain. And if you remember that each contraction is one step closer to meeting baby and when contraction is gone that one will never come back you will be fine. Advice would be to keep mobile, listen to your midwife and listen to your body and you will be fine

Jelly, I'm glad someone described what a contraction feels like because I too was wondering. Calf cramp is so painful..

funkky - I think everyone's experiences of labour are unique and so much rests on things you can't control (like whether your baby is lying back to back etc.) but, purely personally, it was very painful but a very different sort of positive, almost exciting, pain.

Like Natalie I found it mentally very different as you actually want the contractions to get stronger and closer together as it means finally things are happening. Normally when you experience pain it is because you are ill/something is wrong in your body, but I found labour a complete contrast as the pain is actually good sign and I felt absolutely fine in between them.

It's hard to remember the detail (I think I went into a different head-space during labour) but I think the pain briefly became overwhelming during transition but that was then replaced with most overwhelming urge to push.

Please don't fret about your labour - it is a while since I read it, but from memory if you want some positive stories about labour "Stand and deliver, and other ways to give birth" is a good read. I think there is something in there about orgasmic births which I'm not sure I buy into but I do remember a phrase like "feel free to fart freely" encouraging me not feel inhibited!

For me, my contractions were akin to period cramps but obviously much, much stronger. I could sort of feel my womb actually contracting and then releasing.

About 18lbs here, but like some others have said Flyer you were teeny to start with, so you should expect to put on more weight. I'm a chubber to begin with, so have a proper cabbage patch doll face as well as enormous bump, bingo wings, wobbly thighs...in fact, I'd be delighted to be your weight now when not pregnant!

28 week appointment on Monday, and pretty sure I am going to be measuring big - uterus is literally an inch or two below my ribs.

Haven't started carrying my notes anywhere - there is nothing remotely interesting in them, have no allergies etc, so don't really see why I need to...

Have any of you organised ladies got an suggestions for nice, bright unisex type baby grows? HATE baby pink, but don't want to dress this little one in very boyish clothes - but most unisex stuff is very pastel-y, which am really not keen on. Have seen a few nice bits in Next, but other suggestions welcome!

labour for me was extremely painful but it was only 4 hours long as oppose to a long gradual labour which is more "normal" for a first baby. Also as natalie says the first 2 hours were less painful than the last 2. My family have had all sorts of births a varying degrees of pain,time,complications in short its not something you can really plan but the thought that if it is sore every contraction gets you one step closer to your beautiful baby!!

Bowl are you having a surprise? Sorry I cannot remember. I put on the Facebook page we have (sorry I also am not sure if you are on it) I bought some unisex stuff from www.theessentialone.com they have lots of beige and neutrals and what I've bought off there is really nice quality.

flyer I stopped weighing myself weeks ago, but last night, I caught a glimpse of my bum and lower back (areas I used to quite like) and they are covered in cellulite! It's so depressing but I'm trying to convince myself it's not forever...

We only have around 3 months to go!

No I'm having a girl Flyer, but not really keen on girly things . Have a DS, and when we found out this one was a girl got lots of 'oohh, how lovely, you'll be able to buy all the pretty girly things in pink' - made me quite stabby actually! Thanks for the link, I'll have a look - am not on Facebook so miss out on all of this bump bonding

And time is certainly ticking - I think 30 weeks is a real mental hurdle for me, will definitely feel like I am on the homeward stretch once I reach that!

Oh, feeling a bit bad about recommending "Stand and Deliver" now..looking at the reviews on Amazon it is clearly a 'marmite' sort of book.

Also wanted to say to funkky I think it is totally normal to feel apprehensive about the birth.. I am too, except this time my fears centre more around what state my pelvic floor will be left in (already have a prolapse) rather than the pain.

Whatever happens, whether it is a quick or slow labour, you have no pain relief or the full works, need interventions or don't, birth vaginally or don't, I think all you can be sure of is that it will be you and your little one's unique story of how they entered the world and you'll do an amazing job (one that only you can do).

The OBEM thing is weird - whenever I watch it I can't relate it to my experience at all.

Warlin think you are doing the right thing to keep an eye on things - I'm also somewhat surprised that you weren't investigated further.

I'm sorry to hear the dog situation is causing stress. It is the opposite way round in the Hairy household - our dog is utterly devoted to DP and is very much his 'baby' even though I do 99.9% of the day-to-day care. They are ridiculously soppy over each other - he even carries her like a baby into the garden each night for her bedtime wee.

Unfortunately, although she brings a lot of fun into our lives, I do find dog ownership stressful and worry about the same sorts of things as your DP. DP and I both grew up with dogs but we still underestimated the work involved. We could never let her go (DP and DD would never forgive me) but I really do worry about juggling the dog's needs with those of a baby.

I imagine France must be ever stricter than Spain though

I'm in France and they don't seem too strict to me, though I've only put on a stone so far (24 and a half weeks). I do get a monthly "down there" rummage from the gynae though to check my cervix. I don't mind it - I reckon she's been doing it for twenty years, she'll have seen weirder and hairier than mine

I wanted to ask - I've been invited on a work thing in mid-September that will mean Eurostar + an overnight stay in Reading. I'm due at the very end of October. Am I mad to be contemplating it?

bridget I too am reading 'stand and deliver' Im really enjoying it! Really easy to dip into, funnily enough I was coming on to recommend it! Some bits are a bit hippy dippy, and I'm with you on not buying into the orgasmic delivery but I'm finding it quite empowering. The main thing I'm getting from the book is that we shouldn't feel rushed into delivering (unless seriously at risk) and to trust our body's.

There was also a really interesting bit about how pain can be a helpful guide of what to do next.

My baby jogger gt came today, got myself a bargain £245 with raincover woop!

oh no, don't stress flyer! I put on a lot with DS and it all went, with very little effort. I believe I'm the same size as you normally - also 5'4'' and size 8. And I eat healthily and not too much at all. I think perhaps our small bodies need to put on more weight to deal with pregnancy and feed the baby. I promise you it goes!

serious I also saw my bum and the back of my thighs in the mirror last week and was terrified seeing all the cellulite there... I also hope it will go... although not super happy thinking about my upcoming beach holiday... I think I will live in sarongs for 10 days to hide it...

I have similar experience and attitude towards birth pain as bridget. Unfortunately, mine was super painful as I was induced and didn't really have any breaks between contractions... but I focused on the fact that, with every contraction, my body was opening up for this new baby and that it was a normal healthy pain, not a bad pain. I also tried to remember that all this pain was temporary and noone has ever died of pain! I really think this attitude helped me deal with it and I really remember birth as a positive and lovely experience, despite being induced. So don't be scared funkky! And, as bridget I don't worry about birth itself but about what it will do to my body long term... I tore quite badly with DS so hope it won't happen again...

bowlfull I'm the same and totally understand. Not into girlie things and would struggle with pink. Before I knew I had another boy some people were saying (read: mainly DP's mum...) "it would be lovely to have a girl and dress her in lovely dresses, brush her hair..." Can't she see that I often can't be bothered to brush mine? :-) What about green? I love this colour and bought a lot of green stuff for DS when he was a baby. Or grey? I think grey looks really nice with pink and breaks it a bit so it makes pink look less sweet. Or love grey with yellow combination (also used on my DS a lot :-)

cuille I don't think you are mad. It's a short trip (on some days my commute is probably as long as a Eurostar trip!)

Yes will be going for more neutral colours - don't mind if people have to ask whether it's a boy or girl, but don't want to go too boyish so then everyone assumes she's a boy IYKWIM.

Flyer there is some really nice stuff on that site, thanks for sending the link.

On the what childbirth does to your body, I made a joke to DP around 'will be like a wizards sleeve after this one' - which clearly I am allowed to do as it my fanjo. He has since made at least 2 quips along these lines - he is either very brave or very stupid!