Due in September 2006- part three...count down to summer!

[Coriander73]

New thread Bella...as promised!!!

muminaqwandry - don't leave us!!!!! i'm on for an induction around 8th august and i'm staying with september babies!

clairemow - can we swap b pressures???? or can you send some low b pressure vibes my way - i dread having it taken every time at the hospital just in case it's high and they try and keep me in!

mabel - def go with the "we'll cross that bridge when we come to it" approach - my MIL is convinced that the only way baby should be fed is breast milk and ONLY from the breast - not even expressed - dh has started spouting this advice to me, and in the next breath telling me how much fun he's going to have looking after lo at the weekends so i can have a break and go out for the afternoon - without stopping to think how he's going to feed the lo if he follows his mother's advice

And I'm with bella - please please please tell us rookies what BH feels like? I can't find it anywhere - all the research says what they are but not what they actually feel like!

well, back by public demand (although I am supposed to be studying lol) .... am quite envious of those of you with even earlier inductions / dates. I think that being BIG in August can't be much fun ....sending everyone low BP vibes as am lucky enough to have that on my side ....now, BAcK TO WORK!

Lucky you everyone that has a good relationship with their MIL's.
I thik I said something along the lines of 'all babies are different - so we'll see'
I feel a bit mean saying these things about as I don't think there's any malice intended as such, she just doesn't think before she speaks.
During the couple of weeks after DS was born we had a run of bad luck with our pets, my rabbit got killed by a fox, one of our goldfish died and one of the cats became ill and when i mentioned it to her on the phone (hoping for some sympathy) she said ' maybe it's fates way of eliminating them so you've got more time for the baby' - really not the thing to say to an animal lover who's very hormonal!!!!

Bella and Lysettes - BH are like a tightening of your bump - instead of feeling squishy, it goes all tight and taut and a bit uncomfortable. I often have to stand up and rub the bump. I think it's the muscles of your uterus contracting and tightening - apparently it happens all through life, but normally you don't feel them. BH are totally different to labour contractions - I promise you will recognise those when they come - they're more like severe period cramps.

Lysettes - ignore MIL and do what's best for you and your baby. Maybe it's worth a gentle chat with DH now to avoid arguments later? What on earth could be wrong with feeding lo expressed breast milk??? I am at a loss on that one!

Thanks for all the messages. I rang my community midwife centre yesterday after I'd posted. She said that as the baby is still moving and I'm not bleedng it's probably just ligaments and to take paracetomol, which I did but it didn't really help much. It's not so sore today but still there. The problem is I don't have any transport at the moment so it's difficult to get to the doctors etc. I'll see how things go today and will ring them back if it doesn't improve. I have to say though, I find doctors' receptionsists really intimidating. Are they trained to be like that?

Mandaz - glad to hear you got seen.
Doctors receptionists are breed apart I think!

Mabel - am in shock at your MIL comment on your pets dying!!!!!!!!!!!
As a pet lover myself I might have lots it over a comment like that!

Clairemow - thanks for the BH info. Reading your description I don't think I've had any yet.

Mandaz - yep doctor's training school involves learning how to belittle people and acting as if every question is of a rediculous nature.

Sorry meant to say Doctor's receptionists..........honestly can't even take the p**s without screwing up !!

Hi ladies,
My MIL has now told me that she has taken a week off at my due date. She told me last night that she's done it so she can pop in every day and see lo. I'm really cross about it as I wanted that week to be a sort of family bonding with just the four of us. DH doesn't get much time off and I wanted us to enjoy the baby together and to also make a big fuss of DS. Also, depending on what the scan tells us on Mon, we may need to stay in. The thing is, I can't even will baby to come early so as to avoid her as she's booked the week on standby waiting for me to deliver.
Sorry to rant!

I never experienced BH with my first and I haven't had them so ar this time so there's no guarantee you'll get them. Perhaps that's why, depite what everyone says, that when my labour started I wasn't sure that it had. I kept thinking, 'well I'm not 100% sure and everyone says I'll just know so I can't be!' But as they get more painful you soon realise!

I have to say that I think it's a lot of rubbish when people say that expressing milk, giving the odd bottle or giving a dummy hinders breastfeeding. I started expressing before DS was 2wks old and it didn't stop him snatching at the breast every time I put him there. He also had a dummy when he was little and the odd bottle.

TBH, I don't know how anyone copes with BF if they don't use a dummy. DS would never have left the breast had he not had something else to suck on for the next 10 mins. It makes me mad when people judge me for it (esp.MIL) as I don't think it did him any harm and he gave it up without too much fuss around his first birthday.
Why do people think it rude to judge you on other areas of your life but think they have carte blanche to comment on your child birth and child rearing choices?
Sorry!!! Two rants in one post!

I hope everyone is well and enjoying the cooler weather.
Muminaquandary, I agree you should stay. It will be nice for the thread to have a couple of babies already safely delivered by the time we hit September.

Mandaz, glad you're a little better. Please go straight to the delivery suite if it gets worse. Just ring them and they'll be happy to put your mind at rest.

Homemama - that's really a shame about your MIL.
Is there anyway you can tell her that it would be more helpful if she waited a few weeks after the birth and took a week of then?
My mum (who lives 200 miles away) is coming down when I give birth and she was expecting to stay but I have kindly asked her not to stay more than 1 night so that DH and I can get used to things on our own whilst he is on leave. I told her she can stay as long as she wants after DH goes back to work.(within reason!!)
It was a bit uncomfortable having to tell her this but I thought best just to be honest.
Any chance your MIL would take being told?

ok, vbac dilema just got worse. Was watching bbc local news and my hospital is only going to have access to drs for 12 hours during the day, so if there is any complications during the night I'll be transfered to a hospital half an hour away. I don't think I can do that, don't think I can run the risk. Now I'm going to have to find a new hospital.

Oh no Calvenjoe It keeps saying on the news about maternity services being cut - why are they the first things always to go
Homemama - my MIL is the same. Her and FIL have booked a holiday nearby for a week when I'm due If I wanted anyone here it would be my mum!!!

Oh Calvemjoe! and for you! Perhaps in your circumstances you would be best going for an elective. If you desperately want the vbac then go for it for not if you're going to worry yourself silly until your due date. That wouldn't be good for either you or baby.

Bella, there's just no talking to her. Last time she was cross that we hadn't told her I was in labour and she drove 200miles to be there when I came out the next morning. She then stayed for 3days sprouting advice when all I wanted to do was enjoy the time DH had off. I've asked my mother not to come and she's fine with that. She's a headteacher so wouldn't be able to take time off mid term anyway. This time MIL lives 5mins away and we have to see her constantly anyway so I think taking a week off is a little too much.

Compo, can your DH have a word? I think I'm going to have to force mine into doing so.

Norms, did you ever get your baby whisperer book?

Calvemjoe - What on earth?!? how can they do that? Every labour might potentially need a doctor instead of just a midwife. I don't see how they can do this without being negligent? Or do they mean that if there's a problem they'd then transfer you half an hour away??!! Surely someone will sue?? does this mean that you are veering further towards elective, since they definitely do them in the day, when there will be a doctor around?

can't get my head round this at all.

Homemama, maybe you could get DH to talk to his mother? I've told my mum that I'd love her to come and stay once DH goes back to work. And she might take DS for a few days when the baby first arrives, depending how things are. Maybe MIL thinks she's being really helpful, or does she just want to coo at the new arrival? What you really need is for her to come and cook and do housework!

Re. dummies etc. DS didn't have one, but he would have done if I thought it would calm him etc. Maybe people feel that they can give 'advice' because being a parent is such an emotional thing, and everyone likes to think their way is best (I suppose if people didn't think that, everyone would think they were bad parents - maybe its an inborn thing). Or maybe people are just plain opinionated!

Oh dear Compo and Homemama - sounds like its definately time to get your DHs involved.
I have to say though my DH would be useless as wouldn't be able to offend his Mum.
Bugger, why are people so insensitive!! Especially women who have been through the same thing so should know better!

Calvemjoe - bugger so that's a spanner in the works. How rediculous to only have Drs during the daytime - talk about madness!!
Think its worth trying to find another hospital then, is that possible? Not sure what the rules are on where you can go etc??

Mandaz- how are you? hope you're ok and bubba is doing well!

My DD wasn't breats fed, even tho I tried! In hospital I had no milk even when I tried to electronically express I didn't even have enough to suck into a little syringe for DD1.When I got home though and milk finally did flood in- about day five... midwife who was quiet old said that in her day you always bottle fed to start and then gave breast when milk came in. It did make sense to me but seens as I was a new mummy I didn't dare make that change after hearing so much don't EVER give a bottle or dummy if you want to breast feed.
DD1 also had a dummy or doodie as we called it and it made her sleep, or she would've grazed on milk all day long- he was very sucky.
With bubba 2 I would like to breast feed but am going to make my own choice and this time not be rail roaded into any decisions or made to feel like a terrible mum if I don't breast feed. I would love to breast feed but if I can't then i'm not going to be het up about it. i'm just going to see how he gets on once he's here.

Good for you Pol. It's so normal not to have any milk until a few days after delivery. I remember with DS1, he lost so much weight after birth that we were nearly railroaded back into hospital - they gave me one more day to try and get some weight on him - it was a truly horrible horrible day, and I remember sitting on the sofa trying to feed virtually all day with tears flooding down my face - that can't have helped early supply... Thankfully he put on 500g overnight, we didn't look back (although there are some photos I still find it hard to see) and since then has been huge on all the scales. I don't think they always know what they are talking about.

ladies you poor things with your MILs!

in one way dh and i are lucky that lo is going to come early, as my PILs arrive from new zealand about a week before my due date - and they are still expecting to stay with us rather than with BIL round the corner - I am putting my foot down on this one.

DH and I have agreed a compromise on a bottle of expressed milk every other day, and with my preg head i will conveniently forget which day it was that lo had the bottle, and give him one each day, which was my original intention

Calvemjoe you poor thing having to go through all that decision making again. I am sure I read something about being able to just turn up at any hospital with your notes and they can't refuse you to give birth there - but a real pain to have to make the choice now after all your thoughts already.

Mandaz - glad you spoke to someone and if it doesn't get better, go and park yourself in front of the receptionist and howl in pain - that'll get you seen

scan went well - lo is on track growth wise and weight wise a little heavy, so we're happy about that. thanks for the low BP vibes - 128/80 which is unheard of for me!

lol

Lysettes, DH won't be there to see every day!! I did find that DS was more likely to refuse a bottle of EBM if I didn't do it every day, so I think that's a good idea!

Unfortunately my dh thins it's fine his parents gettinga self catering flat for a week on the due date. He says they are just coming for a holiday and won't be round all the day. So there's not much I can do (except refuse to answer the door if they come round all the time - especially if it's before the lo is born and dh is still at work). I've pointed out to him that if he wants to spend his paternity leave going out with his parents and ds that's fine by me - I'll have a baby moon with the lo and he'll just miss out!! Last time I remember having huge problems b/feeding in front of visitors, trying to discreetly sterilise and attach a nipple shield with your in-laws in the room is never good... so this time if I'm so inclined I will just take the baby upstairs to feed!! Last time dh's grandma said 'will the baby ever not be sleeping or feeding so we can get a good picture' Don't peple remember that that is all newborns do!! And MIL said when I stopped b/feeding at 5 weeks 'oh good, now we can all have a feed'... because that was really what was on my mind at the time!!
Sorry, rant over

I agree Claire. I think if you don't give bottles at all whether they be EBM or formula, then you're going to have a much harder time weaning them off the breast in the long run.

IME, variety helps them become more adaptable to change. Although we stick to a routine, I have always found it helpful not to do everything at exactly the same time every day otherwise it becomes much more difficult on the days were flexibility is needed such as family gatherings or holidays.

Lysettes, glad your scan went well and your BP is lower!

Compo, I think they forget. MIL said to me, 'you're not going to run to this one every time it cries now that you know better,' Yet at other times she has admitted to not having a clue when she was a new mum and having her mum move in for a month!

Have been to see midwife this afternoon and lo is fine. She's still measuring small but is proportionally in the same place so I think I may just have a small bump this time round. As for the hospital, midwife said they've cut bugets, less midwifes and doctors, so they'll only be able to provide ecs for 12 hours a day and all other times there will be a blue light ride to another hospital. I told her that I was unprepared to take that risk and I'm going to change hospitals but she was fine about it and aggreed with me (thank god cause I think I would have just cried!)

Spent most of the afternoon on the phone with a friend who has just moved 200 miles away. She's 31 weeks pg with twins and was in labour but her husband was stuck at work for 2 more hours so I was timing her contractions and reminding her to breath. She kept on going it hurts so much and I was like la la la I can't hear you!

As for dummies, I was adamant ds wouldn't be having one and my neighbour was adamant that her dd would have one, and we were both wrong. They worked out what they needed on their own and it wasn't what we had planned for them!

Well done Lysettes, that bp was almost normal
Keep looking after your bumps, take care x

Hi everyone!

We had a great 2 weeks holiday. The sun shone and I can't tell you how lovley Scotland is when it's hot and sunny!

ALl is fine on the baby front. lots of movement, pelvis pain's a lot better.

It's taking me ages to read everyone's news. Trust you're all OK.

Have a wedding to go to in 3 weeks and would really like a dress. ANyone seen anything nice?