Graduated Elderberries (numero 3)

[BraveLilBear]

Welcome back oh graduated elderberries. Let us discuss the delights of being over-30 first-timers with google obsessions

Alex I think with extensions you also need to factor in what it would cost you to buy and move into an equivalent sized property. What none of the estate agents like taking into account is that every time you buy/sell you'll spend £10-15k in fees, costs, stamp duty and sorting out unpredicted nasties (if our experience is anything to go by!). Therefore, if the loft/extension will cost you less than upgrading to a bigger property including move costs, it's worthwhile IMO.

I suppose some of it comes down to how much difference there is in price between, say, a 2 and a 3 bed is in your area - in London that's often a huge jump. We are hoping to do our loft at some point but have got to get through a load of freehold/leasehold crap first.

I think the building to add money thing isn't always as straightforward as a house (in fact anmything) is only worth what someone will pay for it. A 3 bed house with a loft conversion would still only be able to market for around the same price as a 3 bed house without one as it's still only got 3 beds available IYSWIM... (not that I agree, but think about it in buying terms, there's only so much a buyer will shell out for 'extra perks' if they can get a better deal elsewhere.

The loft conversion would cost £35k, but for a four bed over three bed, they reckon we'd make (very approx) 25-30k more than the three bed price so just not really worth it by the sounds of it. I love our house and would happily stay here but whilst the primary schools are good, I've heard the secondary schools aren't amazing so thinking of moving outside London at some point - only a maybe though. DH was SO excited about the building projects though which I think is swaying his judgement on the value thing! The way I see it, we're not desperate for more space so if it won't add good value, why bother?!

Sent my boss (she's on hols) a text about rubella-gate and she sent a supportive text back saying the won't put me at risk so hopefully I can work from home next week at least. Scared of getting it, the risks are horrible!

Great but slightly baffling news on the bloods Purple. I wonder what's been causing it then?

Slightly concerning, but so long as there's a MW and drugs available I aren't bothered if there aren't any beds. I'll be that ecstatic to be getting this little squatter out of me i'll happily give birth in the corridor/waiting room/reception/outside on the pavement!

I have started coming over all emotional for no reason all of a sudden. Is anyone else getting this? My demeanour is usually that of an ice queen and I can't remember the last time I cried at anything but I feel this may come to an end soon the way things are headed. Some of it is semi-understandable (I was playing random songs from my phone in the car and the song I walked down the aisle to came on, which resulted in me struggling to hold it together in the fast lane of the M6. No explanation for this as it didn't even make me feel emotional on our actual wedding day! ) But some of it is just plain ridiculous and quite frankly embarrassing.

My Sister has recommended playing a few songs to my belly every day as she did this and those same in-utero songs now soothe her 6 week old baby off to sleep when he's grumpy. She used a couple of her wedding songs but I daren't try it in case it turns me into a pathetic blubbering wreck on a daily basis! And I can't see up-beat happy songs having the same soporific effect ("What gets your baby off to sleep?" "Oh, she likes a bit of the Vengaboys,' We Like to Party...." ) Damned hormones have a lot to answer for!

And also I haven't put any weight on for the last 3 weeks. Usually this would be great news, but when i'm in the later stages of trying to grow a new human it doesn't seem healthy to not have put any on. I have gained 19lbs so far, which still puts me within the normal recommended guidelines at 32 weeks, but I don't understand why it has stopped, especially as I feel I am eating like a horse? It's especially baffling as my fundal height has definitely grown 4cm in the last 3 weeks.

Oh dear - my baby will need Bodypump and Tae Bo music then to fall asleep. Not exactly easy listening

Could be that your baby is having a growth spurt and hogs all the calories?

Just read on another thread - a woman said that she was really lucky with her family, had mum and dh with her when she gave birth and mil,bil,dad,sister,best friend and her teenage son in the waiting room

Horses for courses but is that's really the average? I don't want to see any friends or family members (well, besides DH) even lurking around the hospital.

Yes Hazle, all my missing calories are probably going straight on my baby's head. It will be like giving birth to a pumpkin

Other than finding someone to look after the dog, I don't intend for anyone other than DH and me to know I am even in labour let alone having them in the waiting room. I can't imagine anything worse!

No no no to anyone hovering around the hospital waiting for me to give birth. Luckily we don't have that sort if family, I couldn't think of anything worse! Unless we have to ring my mum to feed the dogs and cats I don't plan on telling anyone I'm in labour at all.

Got my blood test results, baby has a 1 in 36,000 chance of having downs. When I went for my 12 week scan they said I should give my concent for cvs, have any of you had the cvs test? I dont think I want it from what I read, but would love some advice. I know it tests for more than downs but if the downs risk is so low isnt that a good sign?

Great news mother I might have this wrong and someone else can correct me but I'm sure the cvs thing (if it's what I think it is) is only done in high risk cases and your odds are great so I can't see why you'd need it? Surely they were just suggesting giving consent if your downs risk was bad and you needed it?

On people at the hospital, I'll be happy if my mum hangs around if she wants to (prob just in the waiting room) but one of my friend's told me her MIL tried to force her way into the room while she was giving birth to support her?! Argh!

Poor DH - he is making me breaky in bed as I'm feeling sickie but having to put up with me totally freaking out worrying about rubella after my office "outbreak". Although when he read the pregnancy chances of damage (90%) he said he doesn't want me in that office until we know no one else has it!

Thats what I thought too Alex, guess I'll ask the midwife at 16 weeks.

I want as few people as possible at the hospital to witness me being a total bitch when in pain. I'll just treat my OH to that joy

I would guess they meant a consent in case the risk is high? I'm not sure NHS would even do the cvs with such low odds.

yes I also read a story about a MIL barging into the delivery room, even when she was clearly told not to. And I don't think I could relax if I had 10 people sitting in the waiting room asking for updates. Everybody will be informed in due time, after the baby is here.

Good news on the Downs odds Mother.

And I also don't think there should be any need for further tests with those odds, but if there was I think many people are opting for the non-invasive Harmony Test rather than CVS these days.

I know it wouldn't be funny AT ALL, but the thought of someone's MIL barging into the delivery room at that most crucial undignified moment is making me chuckle I would go nuts afterwards!

Thank goodness my MIL is nice and normal!

Yes if I remember correctly, the MIL ended up holding her DIL's leg, as she was not in a state to throw her out at that particular moment.

Glad to hear your odds are so good Mother.

My totally first world problem of the day is: baby clothes sizing. As you know, pretty much everything I've bought is second hand so I decided to sort them into some semblance of order do that the smaller sizes were to hand and not all mixed in with the bigger stuff. Easier said than done! My bed is now covered in piles of baby clothes based on what it says on the labels. Trouble is, they all look the bloody same! There's newborn and first size and up to a month and 0-3 months...and they all seem to be the feckin same! It's totally messing with my head and I've a feeling they're all going to end up crammed back in the carrier bag as they were

Oh I've complained about this - newborn, 0, 1 month, 0-3 ...and some of those 3-months are the same size as other 0-months. To make matters even more confusing, half the labels here sell the clothes by months and other half by cm - so I also have 50, 53, 56 cm etc.
So I decided to treat anything up to 3 months or 62 cm as first size and will see what will actually fit the baby once he's here.

But...but it's STUPID! Why don't they standardise it? Haven't us bewildered first timers got enough to contend with? Right, I'm bunging it all back and will have to play a daily game of 'dress up baby' to see what fits!

Haha hazle I posted that on here about the MiL - it was my cousin! She had asked to be in there, as my cousin had asked her mum to be with her, and her MIL said that she had 'missed out' as her own daughter hasn't asked her. My cousin said no and explained why she wouldn't feel comfortable with that. Yet when it came to pushing stage (2 hours worth! ) MIL barged in anyway as poor cousin too overcome with pain to argue. Cheeky bloody woman! But yes, she did end up holding a leg - and i would imagine getting quite an eyeful

Just did Red Cross baby first aid course - £45 well spent and wd def recommend it.

Oh and fantastic odds mother! I was told that they only recommend cvs if you have odds of 1 in 100 or less, so with those odds no reason whatsoever to have it done? I had odds of 1 in 3780 or something and thought they were good!

Oh I didn't remember it was you. But I would not even want my own mum holding my leg, not to mention MIL! Actually I don't want DH down that end either.

Glad your first aid course was more useful than mine.

The baby hammock arrived, looks quite cute. So the baby has a moses basket, co-sleeper bed and hammock - hopefully he will like sleeping in at least one of those.

Baby hammock? Oh I just googled, love them, look so comfy!! I have a garden hammock, am imagining baby and I on mat leave in our hammocks together!

hazle what brand is yours? Has anyone got one or seen a good price?

Oh and also did you all start buying stuff at 3/4 months or later? I'm looking forward to shopping but don't want to jump the gun, obvs will wait until after 12 wk scan (in just over a week !)

Meant to say has anyone else!

It's the Amby Baby. Not the cheapest but had good reviews.

I started the shopping around 22 weeks as was in the US and everything is cheaper there. Have most stuff by now, I think.