Graduated Elderberries (numero 3)

[BraveLilBear]

Welcome back oh graduated elderberries. Let us discuss the delights of being over-30 first-timers with google obsessions

I didn't quod! I was a wreck. We paid for a private scan near canary wharf - same place Alex went to - £75. Called my ultra baby.

Absolutely outrageous they wouldn't scan you. Makes me so bloody cross. I felt weirdly too superstitious about making up 'problems' so to me £75 was worth it. Was it the epu who said that, or the midwife? If the latter might just be worth calling the epu directly? Am so cross for you quod. Hugs.x

No it was the doctor. I called the antenatal at the hospital and she said I could to to EPU and say I had pain or bleeding/was concerned (which is what the doctor said too) but haven't spoken to EPAU direct yet. Maybe I should try that. Otherwise £75 seems a small price to pay to have some piece of mind if only temporarily

That's horrible Quod. Of course you would want an early scan in your circumstances. I got scans at iirc 6 and 8 weeks here after my mc and it certainly helped to relax once I saw it's in the right place at first scan and saw the heartbeat on second. If they really refuse I'd definitely get the private one (or lie, if you think £75 is too expensive).

That really sucks Quod, I can't believe with your circumstances they won't scan you. For the sake of your sanity I'd get a private scan, it could well feel like the best £75 you've ever spent.

Sorry Quod that's rubbish, as I was so anxious and my doctor said mine seems quite high risk, she said she'd make up some spotting for an early NHS scan but I went private an the ultrababy place because a) could have a relaxed Saturday/evening appointment, more convenient for DH's work b) felt a bit weird making up problems, maybe superstitious like Janey said and c) this is more hindsight but private was lovely, really nice lady and huge screen. So basically I opted for private over NHS for the sake of £75 so can't recommend that enough. That scan and time have made me feel a teensy bit less anxious. Keeping everything crossed for you too.

Thanks folks. Yeah my doctor basically told me to make up some symptoms. DP has no qualms with that but I don't fancy doing it, plus don't fancy sitting in EPU for hours with loads of other anxious women - it's not a fun place EPU is it?! Can't do anything about it this coming week as work is too full on, but maybe I will go to the ultra place the following week by which time I should be 8+ weeks and there'll hopefully be more to see.

Erm..so I might have mentioned what pram I've bought. The fact that apparently Kate has bought the same does not mean anything. Mine is not blue, it's sand coloured, honest!

You've been totally rumbled ma'am!

Oh and quod ultra baby is open at the weekend, they have few branches across london too I think. Agreed about epu - it's not a pleasant place and for me was full of too many awful memories. Hope you manage to get one soon

quod not sure how far you have to book ahead at the ultrababy place but I did it a couple of weeks ahead and they could do the exact time I wanted on a Saturday which was great, no queuing time. Agree about sitting in EPU for hours and also, I worried about having something on my notes that wasn't true just in case it made any jot of difference to treatment later - I wanted my notes to be accurate.

hazle/Kate, we're onto you, please stop appearing on tv heavily pregnant and looking ridiculously glam in heels. It's very irritating

Yeah we all know you can swap the colour ways on prams.

Oh Quod that's pants I think you have Hazle the DofC and 50 Shades of Grey to blame for the recent baby boom which means they're too busy to give you an NHS one. I second what others have said about how lovely private scans are - we had a private desperate to know the gender wellbeing scan at 17 weeks which was worlds apart from the NHS ones. Half an hour on a comfy bed with nice music playing, scented candles and a massive plasma screen showing you exactly what is going on and a lovely lady talking you through it. I unfortunately needed an EPAU scan at 9 weeks following bleeding and cramping, which was 2 minutes in a room and a 10 second flash of the screen while a disinterested sonographer confirmed there was a heartbeat. I would say a private scan is a small price to pay for your reassurance and sanity.

Two pints of coke at the pub after 7 months of no caffeine was a bad idea wasn't it? (Says she who has been awake ALL BLOODY NIGHT)

Oh NOW the damn phone knows how to spell coke hey, I'm telling you iPhones are actually intelligent. And malicious.

Yes glad it was coke at the pub purple

I'm avoiding coke as it's full of caffeine, sugar and crap, only having things like that as a treat now and again. Bit worried I'm going to become one of those mums who will only buy organic and use natural cleaning products. Already found myself googling whether cleaning products are bad for pregnancy on the weekend Lucikly DH is doing all of the cleaning and housework at the moment because of my valuable cargo - fine by me!

Oh and at a toddler party yesterday, two of the girls were telling me they had very easy births (relatively!), really quick and no disasters. So more reassurance for those planning to go VB!

Yeah I haven't wanted to drink anything like coke, just couldn't face the thought if it at all... Until last night when I absolutely had to have it.

Oooh, coke. I know it's full of sugar, caffeine and crap but I do love it so. And I reckon better than diet coke, full of aspartame. So it's a treat I allow myself from time to time, and I bloody love it. Not just before bedtime though Purple. To be fair, I'm starting to get on/off insomnia anyway (weird - when not pg I sleep bloody brilliantly) and was awake from 3am-6.30am on Saturday night/Sunday morning. As I'm sure you can imagine, I was a joy to be around yesterday... I'm going to be a nightmare when I never have any sleep due to new baby!

Also, how did you get your husband to do all the cleaning and can I trade my faulty one in and get a new one like yours please?

ps alex I bet you're organic-tastic once you're a mum!

purple.
My selfish cleaner has only gone and got herself pregnant at the same time as me, so will be giving up work in a fortnight . I've no idea how DP and I will get on without her so am busily trying to find a new one. Alex - reckon your DH will be up for it?! Does £10 an hour tempt him?!

Totally agree about aspartame, won't touch a diet drink! I do think a lot about food and what's in it and am quite aware and OCD like about it!

He is treating me like I can't do anything purple but I'm a bit naughty because I do play up to it "oh yes babe, I'd better sit down on the sofa while you cook and wash up as I do feel very tired" hehe! Although I genuinely do feel shattered so maybe it's not too naughty! I also was properly sick for the first time this morning which I've decided to read as a good sign for hormones. And yes, maybe I should hire out DH for cleaning duties after he finishes work, some nice pocket money for my mat leave lunches, genius!

Yeah I wouldn't touch diet coke, at least proper sugar is a natural product and to be fair I am prone to bouts of insomnia anyway so perhaps the poor...shall we call it cola from now on? wasn't to blame after all.

I think I'll possibly be the least organic mum in the world, mine will be the child eating mud and pebbles and I'll be shrugging saying 'meh, bit of roughage does them good' at least I hope I keep this kind of relaxed attitude once the baby is here, I'm not really one for worrying and the amount if pet hairs my child is likely to ingest in its lifetime would undo all the good work of healthy pure organic things anyway So you can do my share of being good and worrying about these things Alex then the world will still be in balance

I'm with you purple - some germs are good, right? Although sometimes I do worry how much I might change once the baby arrives... I really hope I don't!

Mud and pebbles are organic! Funnily enough I'm only OCD careful about chemicals in food, so told my niece it was fine to eat something that dropped on the floor the other day (3 second rule and not a mucky floor) for example but I'll encourage healthy eating and knowing about food products. DH will balance them out with his I'll-eat-anything attitude! I've always been the same though, as a toddler I used to chew meat for ages and say to my mum "so what is this? So it's actually an animal like our cat? So it's basically flesh?" - so I can't eat meat now as a result of my pondering! My friend's little girl is the same but her other children aren't, it's just something in her character. I'll cook meat for our child/ren though it will just be organic and high welfare

Morning all.

Rubbish news on no-scan Quod I don't think people understand that the first trimester is the longest 14 weeks of your life without added stress on top. I was really worried too but in the end morning sickness kicked in and I ended up in hospital with a different drama (not necessarily caused by, but made much more likely, by pregnancy) so didn't go for a private scan.

The morning sickness just about reassured me enough, although those last two weeks to the scan were very difficult.

What pram do you have Hazle/Kate? Am currently in the middle of deciding - may actually cry if the one the DofC has is the one I want as they'll all sell out and everyone will think we're copying!

Fun weekend here... We've decided to get a cat. Went to the RSPCA shop yesterday and saw an amazing 4-month old kitten that we love quite a bit, but they said we probably couldn't have anything less than 6 months old because we're out in the daytime and they'll get lonely.

Could wait 10 weeks til I'm on mat leave but then won't have much time to settle pre-baby, plus the ones we like might not be available then...

Lots of tough decisions. Nearly had a very embarassing pregnant moment though - saw some tiny kittens (only just opening their eyes tiny) who were snuggling with their mummy - thing is, she looked exactly like my old cat (well, my mum's cat but I lived with him for 7-8 years and helped babysit him when he started getting old and poorly) and very nearly burst into tears in the middle of the place, with other people around

Held it together though