Graduated Elderberries (thread 2)

[Cavort]

Oops, seems we ran out of room without noticing!

At the risk of sounding controversial, someone on FB said OBEM is morphing into The Undateables with the number of quite freaky people having babies this series and I have to say I was quietly thinking the same myself. Someone on the radio said C4 pay 10k per couple in exchange for allowing them to film everything, which would kind of explain it - there's not enough money in the world which would make me consent to mine being filmed! But I'm sure the mechanics of what happens is the same for all of us so I still can't stop watching it.

I mentioned Hypnobirthing to DH last night and he pulled the same face he pulled when I said I had ordered a baby sling - he obviously thinks it's a complete load of tosh.... but he's not stupid enough to actually say that knowing it's me that has to go through all the pain, so if I decide I want to do it I suspect he will just keep his mouth shut and go along with it for an easy life.

wow really 10K? Not that I would. I don't think they've considered it in France, but similar show was banned in Germany due to concern over baby's privacy. True, I would not want to have my birth and naked mum available on national television.

I've ordered that Amby baby hammock. Also have a moses basket and thinking about this: www.babybay.de/en/babybay/variationen.html
So the baby would have plenty of options. He should sleep nicely through the night in one of them, right? Right??

I have no idea how true the 10k thing is. I think my offer would have to go over a million before I would consider it.

That looks like a handy bit of versatile kit Hazle. And the hammock looks so comfy I could fancy a nap in it myself. I might get Hypnobirthing past him but the slightest hint at co-sleeping has been completely vetoed for me

By vetoing co-sleeping, does he mean that baby should immediately sleep in her own room? I wouldn't share a bed either, would be too scared to move, but there's not much difference between having the co-sleeper bed or just a normal crib, I think. except that with the co-sleeper, you don't need to actually get up to check on the baby.

Why are they all such cavemen?! Feel your pain Cavort - dyu think it's because he's already had one and thinks he knows it all?

I think that is behind a lot of my 'issues' with getting mine on board with my preferences. It seems he prefers medical authority over my instinct, which could be a serious concern if we get to any pinchpoints on the day - I'd want him backing me up, not taking the side of the professionals. I'm not saying I want to be reckless, but I don't want him thinking that anything can be done no matter what I think IYSWIM...

He says DSD was about 8 weeks when she went to her own room against SIDS advice. I have already told him our baby will be in our room until at least 6 months.

I think our friends have kiboshed any chances of him thinking co-sleeping is a good idea. Their newborn wouldn't sleep so they put her in bed with them (where she slept really well) but she's nearly 2 now and still refuses to sleep anywhere other than in her parents' bed.

DH thinks we should have a 'start as you mean to go on' attitude. I'm not too worried about it to be honest - i'll see how it goes with the moses basket and then if I decide co-sleeping is the way to go then i'll just do it whether he likes it or not. It just means I can't buy a co-sleeper in advance as he will think I am planning to do it, and I have to at least let him think he's got some say in our baby's welfare even though I will overrule anything I don't like.

I think you said DSD was also a really good sleeper? I bet that if your DD is not and he has to be the one getting out of bed 10 times per night to walk over to the crib and comfort her, he'll suddenly discover that co-sleeping is a brilliant idea

Yes that's what I'm hoping. I know he will quickly change his opinion if we have a nightmare non-sleeping baby.

DSD was formula fed from birth as she rejected the breast so I think that's why she slept so well. This will probably be the opposite of our (hopefully) breast fed baby.

DH does appreciate he was very lucky with how well DSD slept (and still sleeps - I 'inherited' her aged 2 and she has never once woken up in the night while staying with us). I just think his ideals are based on never experiencing sleep deprivation - neither of us have but I am definitely being more realistic about it.

It's a toughie Cavort - I really think that my OH is living in some weird fantasy land. Ours are coming from very similar angles so will be good to see how they adapt when reality hits home. I understand his point about being kept up all night when he has to go to work - and he has a long commute so I don't want to make things hard on that front - but I will not be risking our baby's life for it...

Do you have a spare room Brave, so OH could go and sleep there if the baby is extra fussy some nights? That's our plan, that baby will be in bedroom, but we can take turns and one can sleep in the guest room if needed.

D'oh!!! We are having the fascias replaced on the house today. 2 blokes have been here banging and hammering since 8 and I have been keeping them in brews all day. Their very attractive boss just stopped by to see how they are getting on so I popped out to see if all 3 would like a drink and as an excuse to admire fit boss even though I myself look like a whale. I am wearing normal trousers with a belt extender and bump band and it was only when I got back inside I realised my bump band had risen up to expose my open fly and most probably my knickers to all 3 of them. Bollocks.

Oh the joys of pregnancy
Well, you could have also realised you'd peed yourself, apparently not a rare thing..

I would like to be able to say it hasn't happened to me yet but I did 'leak' a few times while chucking up with MS. Nothing since though. Perhaps something to look forward to in the third trimester?

Oh I really hope my OH doesn't get all high and mighty with me about what we're doing with the baby just because he's had one before because

1. that was a bloody long time ago (his son is 13)
2. babies are all different anyway
3. he should know that my word is law and I'm not going to do what he says just because he says so anyway
4. everyone knows that Mum knows best

Hi son did fall off the bed when he was a baby apparently but I'm assuming his surliness is due to being a teenager not a direct result of a bump on the head so I don't think it did him any harm. I'm planning on having some sort of moses basket or something (or something, can you see how well I've planned this?) in our room but will probably bring the baby into our bed to feed. I think I'm just going to see how it goes when the baby is here see what works for us at the time because for all the planning in the world we might all change our minds when they're here anyway!

I am so so tired today! Dunno if its just because its friday? I did have to go to London yesterday which was knackering but I could seriously sleep right here at my desk! Surely it is too early for this? I'm only 5+2

Everyone is obviously different Mother but in my case I was absolutely knackered straight away, even before MS kicked in.

p.s loving purples 'my word is law' comment

Hey Mother first tri tiredness is the worst. I'm still knackered now, just not quite as much.

Hazle there's baby's room and a spare one. I'm thinking of keeping the single bed in the nursery for such occasions as the other bedroom's miles away from the rest. I've decided we need a double bed for the actual spare room (when we decorate) so hopefully might be able to have it in time to keep DSS current bed as emergency sleep bed (and put moses basket next to).

So hacked off right now. I'm sat here at my desk, an hour after finishing time, crying. Pathetic. Just way way too much at work and colleagues aren't in a position to take the slack (one works part-time, the other has major family stuff going on so has been out of the office two days this week with that and isn't necessarily at full steam when in the office) - although they seem very capable at patronising me.

Now I'm going to be in trouble for being late home, too. But when I get there I'll have to put a brave face on because DSS here tonight for first time in weeks.

Feeling very pathetic and sorry for myself Scuse my whingeing.

Have a nice weekend!

Oh yes, life is far to short to argue with me, I'm going to get my own way in the end anyway
I think absolute knackeredness is expected in the first few weeks, just a nuisance because most people don't know WHY you're falling asleep at your desk. Or maybe there's something in the air today, I usually go swimming on Friday after work and tonight I drove past the pool and thought 'Noooo not today, I just can't I'm too tired!' So I'm sitting on the sofa feeling guilty instead.

Aww Bear sorry you're having a crappy day, hope the weekend makes up for it.

Poor Brave! Whinge away, although we can't do much. The extra workload is temporary I hope?

Aw Brave, sorry to hear you're having a tough time. Whinge away at your leisure here!

But at least the weekend is here. Go home, put thee feet up and have a nice cold

Yep, chocolate is the answer, I can advise that a cadburys creme egg has improved my mood no end (oops now sitting on the sofa not swimming AND eating chocolate, there's no hope for me)

chocolate is the answer to lots of things my car drove itself to kfc on the way home from work and forced me to order and eat 3 hot wings.....yum yum yum.

I had my docs appointment and feel totally underwhelmed, she told me I didnt need to take the prenatal vits I could just take the folic acid she prescribed, she said I can eat pate which Im not sure is correct. She is going to refer me to the midwives and they will write to me......how boring and drawn out!

Thank you all, had a proper poor me walk home, and feel a bit better since being handed at mothers day card and box of maltesers from dss.

Love mother's kfc setting on the car, I need one of those!

Hoping extra work is temporary, but not sure yet... Anyways thank god it's the weekend :)