May 2013 - celebrating our entry into the 3rd trimester and an early arrival!

[SevenReasonsToSmile]

Welcome to the new thread, grab a .

Artichoke- I'd go in a heartbeat as long as there is a reasonable maternity unit within say 30m drive or so - just in case. Take ur notes and go have fun!

Rhiene- we have a just turned 3yo- isn't it hard to have a clue what they think is coming! ;-). We have told him but I don't think he really gets how his world is gonna crash !

Arti it sounds lovely, just relax and enjoy!

Rhiene how sweet! I'm sure he will be an excellent big brother.

Is anyone snoring a lot?!?! My DH slept in the guest room last night as he couldn't take it anymore. I used to just snore when on my back, but now can only sleep on my sides but still manage to make a lot of noise.

arti I also say go and enjoy yourself. Just google the nearest maternity ward first and take your notes with you in case.

zorra great that you're moving back home :)

We bought carpet for the baby's room yesterday, DH will lay it on weds and build the furniture. I've also ordered wallpaper samples, I'm hoping to make an arty collage in there if I ever have time. Worktops arrive for the new kitchen this afternoon, we're slowly getting there.

Hope everyone had a good weekend

Art definitely go and enjoy yourself .

Anyone else really uncomfortable. So far the spd isn't as bad this week as I'm not really doing any walking. Just a pain at night. I just feel full of baby and really restless at the moment. I cannot get comfy.

To top it all I am now getting my third cold and sore throat this pregnancy. Grr.

Some good news I got my hospital appt for physio referral through today. It's on the 17 th. On the downside its a group session and just to give us excercises to do at home and share tips. I was hoping for a one on one

beaut no SPD here but I'm so uncomfy depending on how she's lying. I'm also exhausted again after a slight improvement when I started the iron pills. I fell asleep at 8:30 last night, DH woke me at bedtime . Worst thing was it was our anniversary yesterday. Glad you finally got an appointment through.

arti i agree - definately go and enjoy yourself while you can - chances are nothing will happen and as long as you're prepared for the off chance that things might by having your notes with you, along with your hospital bag, a car seat, and details of the nearest hospital i wouldn't worry.

zorra sounds like you're going to have a busy time before your due date! Take time to rest too.

Beaut I totally know how you feel - I feel absolutely full up with baby and can't get comfy sitting or lying down and tire if i stand up for too long. I have sore ribs / the baby is constantly poking me in the side and i'm frustrated with the struggle involved in taking my shoes on/off. Being in the bath really helps and lying in bed is better than most other options but not practical when we have workmen here that i have to answer the door too and i have work to do. Also feeling guilty for not doing the exercises given to me by the physio as much as i should.

For those waiting for physio appointments - i really feel for you it's not good enough - i have mild PGP but got referred really quickly. The main thing she's done is given me exercises to do on my own at home though. I have to use a yoga ball, lift my pelvic floor and use my stomach muscles to hold the baby in and up, and do a range of exercises including wiggling my hips/pelvis side-to-side and front-to-back, doing a hula-hoop type action, circling my arms, lifting one heel at a time etc etc. DH also has to pull the leg on the particularly bad side of my pelvis while i lay on my back to try to get some movement in there / losen it up (apparently like when you gently tug on your finger it's supposed to give/move/extend a little).

Hoping you might be able to offer some thoughts/comments/experiences in relation to a dilemma we're currently having. DH works as an IT contractor and is in contract until July. His current project is fantastic experience as he's using the latest version of the technology/software he works with and few people have experience of it yet as it was only released in November, however the day rate he's currently on is at the lower end of the market average range in London and he's also starting to get a bit bored of the employers indecisiveness and therefore ability to move the project along (although it's going better than other contracts he's been on in the recent past and is if nothing else 'stable'). The current contract is 5 days per week in London. Well, because of his current experience he's been approached about another contract with a huge global company, again using this new version of the technology/software. It's a two year contract which is long for his industry (most are 3, 6 or 9 months) and is paying a very high day rate, not too far off of double what the lower end of the range in London generally is and quite a lot higher than what you'd normally expect at the top end of the range. However, they want him to start ASAP which would mean cancelling the end of his existing contract (not really anything other than a moral issue and tbh something that happens in the contractor market all the time) and initially they'd want him to work 2-3 days per week at their headquarters in Holland so he could meet the global team. At all other times he could work from home. I get the impression he's really keen but I'm really not sure what to do. I am worried about coping on my own with him away 2-3 days a week when the baby is very young (especially as he usually almost never goes away so it's not something i'm very used to), I'm worried about him missing out on bonding with and seeing the baby especailly when they change so quickly in the first year or so of their lives, I'm worried about the travel making him extra tired, I'm worried that the length of the 'initially' stage when he'd have to work away hasn't been defined, and I'm worried that when he was working from home the baby would distract him. The money would however be fantastic as would having him available later in the morning and earlier in the evening on the days he would work from home with no commute. It feels like the wrong time to be prioritising money and we don't 'need' it per se but it would be a great enabler for the extension to our house we have planning permission for but are currently struggling to save up for very quickly. Any thoughts?

Sorry for such a long post!

little reading your post it sounds like you feel more strongly about the cons than the pros so perhaps that is what your heart is telling you is the right choice? If it was me in this situation, ultimately it would be a decision that could only be made jointly with my DP. Think you'll both have to sit down and be totally honest with eachother then try to settle on what's bet for your family unit.

Wow 'littlespade* I'm intrigued by this pulling leg out of socket manoeuvres. Never heard of it before and am suffering on my third pregnancy. If I rest most of the day I'm fine, I'm always great (exaggeration ..not dying) on a Monday as my DH has given me loads of rest. By Friday I'm going up the stairs on my bum.

I think your husbands contract sounds great, my DH hires contractors for the city, I used to be in the city as a management consultant and vowed never to go back but some of those contracts are so tempting. Have you worked together from home before ? It's not easy. When my DH is at home and I'm working from home I find it very tough. I have friends that make it look easy though. Are you on your first baby? I think it's very doable to have a short term stint with a few days away from home as long as you make ground rules and he does some sole parenting stints to bond properly when he is there. To be honest he'll probably over compensate and be more involved than others (my dH for example who is home after 8 every night and gone by 7.. He often goes 5 days without seeing the boys and they think he is the king of the universe. With SKype and Face time it's easier to feel close for you too. The Dutch have a great work life balance so he could talk regularly etc if needed. I worked there for 7 months and they frequently told me to chill out and stop working so hard (very stereo typed..sorry) on the other hand maybe there will, I'm sure be other opportunities down the line if he has the expertise. Maybe 6 months after the baby comes would be easier.

My thoughts Anyway for what theyre worth.

DX I think you used an old STats thread as I've fallen off and so have the new arrivals. Best to take the last version..I can't do it on the iPad for some reason.

Little I'm intrigued by the pulling the leg thing too.Im usually better on a Monday having rested at the weekend.Today for some reason I have an ache in my left (its always so much worse on the left) hip.Standing,sitting or lying I just can't rest.

With regards to your DH job it's a tough one.Is it your first? With my first I was lucky as I had lots of family support.My exp was rarely about but that was his choice not work related and I coped fine. It was daunting at first but then a new baby always is and I had the baby blues both times.

This time DP works away very often Mon -Fri not very often abroad but too far to come home each night. If I'm honest whilst he is away I hate it. Then when he gets a local job that gets annoying too as he messes with my routine. Dp has a specialised job on a slightly higher than average wage. He loves his job and it pays the bills. I might have the odd moan about him being away but I would never expect him to leave the job. He pays the majority of bills and he works extremely long hours. So if anything all I feel is guilty as he is often so so tired. So going on my experience I think you would get on well with the new contract as your DH will be home more than mine. Plus once you have children every penny helps.

My Osteo yanks my left leg back into alignment every time I see him.. Every six weeks during pregnancy, and them twice a year when not pregnant. (I'm pregnant with 4th and last!)
It's changed my life, seriously. I've always suffered with lower back pain and sore pelvis when pregnant.
I feel so much better. I'm seeing him in two weeks time, can't bloody wait!

Boodstress - it might be worth getting your DH to give it a go - basically i lie on my back and he firmly pulls my leg as though trying to extend it for a few seconds and then releases it back. He supports it under my calf and at my ankle - took a tiny of bit of practice for him not to twist rotate my ankle - whilst i try to relax and breathe out as he pulls. He should be pulling hard enough that i have to hold on to the edge of the bed with one hand to avoid being pulled down the bed. He does it one/twice per night on my good leg and four/five times per night on my bad leg. The idea is that it helps loosen and re-align the hip/pelvic muscles back where they should be in the joint.

Thanks also for your advice about my DH's work opportunity. It sounds like you understand the situation and what i was trying to say well.

Yes me and DH have worked together from home before as I have run my own business from home for the last 3 years and during that time he's had stints of working from home - both 5 days a week and odd days here and there. I agree it's not easy but i think we've worked out the ground rules now e.g. he likes music on i don't so he generally uses headphones, we ask if its convenient to talk rather than just interupting and we don't speak when the other person is typing frantically, we share making lunch etc. Also i would still make sure i got out and about for walks/shopping/seeing people etc when he was working from home so it'd be less intense than when we'd both been working. I was just worrying about the baby crying.

It's interesting what you say about the sole parenting stints too as when we discussed it briefly earlier (he's away at a training course for 3 days at the moment which is again unusual so we're going to talk about it more tonight) he said that in the weeks he is away he could maybe look to take half a day off on one of the other days when he is home or just generally help/be involved more. He is a very helpful and involved person. The lack of a commute on the days he is home would make a difference too as to work in London he currently is out from 7am till 7pm.

Thanks for the insight on Holland as well.

lolly - I guess i tend to be a little bit of a pessimist so i probably way up the cons more than the pros. I guess all the pros are more of a known quantity i.e. more money = good whereas with this being my first baby i don't know if the cons would be big issues or things i am just over-concerned about now but in reality wouldn't be an issue. I guess I'm just keen to avoid agreeing to something and then finding i can't cope or it doesn't work (although i know if that were the case DH would be open to re-discussing it and potentially changing things even though it would upset him).

[Little], if I were you I'd give it a chance. The flight from NL to London is very short and flights are frequent. If he has the option to fly from Rotterdam to City airport it really doesn't take very long at all.

My dad worked in Belgium for quite a few years while my mum, brother and I lived in the Netherlands. I agree with the need/want to overcompensate. My dad used to spend a lot of his free time doing fun things with us. I won't lie and say that it was always easy for my Mum but they had good some good rules in place. This was looooooong before email,sms, facetime, skype but we still managed.

With regards to working from home with the baby there too I swear by the bose noise cancelling earphones. Your DH will not hear your baby cry if he wears them. They are expensive but in this case a great investment.

The way I read it, it's not so much about the money but it means security in terms of how long the contract is etc.

Would your DH be able to negociate a couple of weeks off round the time of the birth? My DH is taking two weeks off to help me and get to know our little one.

I too have the dreaded spd. My Chiropractor also pulls and prods and it really helps! Seeing her roughly every 10 days.

I don't have SPD but I have a painful backache down my left side instead. It means I haven't slept more then a couple of hours a night for the past two weeks or so. It is really doing my head in. I suspect it is made worse by me being stuck in ths house, due to the weather. It is snowing here again meanng no walk for me and my DD today. Plus of course my DD is getting heavier by the day and I am getting weaker.

Roll on Easter when my DH will off for a long weekend. I am reall counting down the days now.

All my sympathies with those suffering from SPD, aches and pains and lack of sleep. I hope you get the support from midwife, physios, DPs that you need to at least make it a bit more bearable. I struggle to get comfortable now but luckily it isn't too bad...

DP and I felt a wee foot poking out from my belly this morning, so frickin cool!! Can't wait to meet her. These next few weeks are going to be tough though but all worth it. I think I have started nesting, have suddenly realised what a tip the house is. Will wait till after DPs birthday party (our last party as just a couple and probably for a long time!) on the weekend though.

Maybe and Ten, would love an update on your little ones when you get a chance. Hope they are thriving xx

Morning all

Well it looks like we are moving.Aargh I need to get organised now.Our moving date is the last week of April.Hopefully we will get in the house before baby makes an appearance.Plus I have my driving test in the same week.

Congrats beaut, sounds like you'll be busy then!

little sounds like a great opportunity for your DH, plus 2-3 days a week away still means 4-5 days a week at home. Also tbh if on the days he's out of the house now he's gone from 7am-7pm once the baby is a few weeks old he wouldn't see it awake much anyway and may as well not be there, the only difference would be you not seeing him, though as others have said there's always Skype etc.

Crikey beaut - what timing! Presumably moving to a bigger place? Will that mean that you can work from home once your baby is a bit bigger?

little it sounds like a great opportunity tbh, the security would be my main focus I think. Do you have family/friends close by that can help you out when he is away from home?

I need a bit of a rant - sorry! I started my mat leave on Friday (well, this week is annual leave, but I have broken up at least). Well, last Wed one of my members of staff told me she is pg - really pleased for her, it's fab news, still early days and she has only told me (I am her immediate line manager, and still too early for her to want to tell other staff), BUT she will be due in November, which is when I am due to go back after my mat leave, but I was hoping to use my annual leave to do 3 days/week until after Christmas. With her being off, I might need to either go back earlier or go back more days - there isn't anyone else at work who can do her role other than me, although some items we can delegate to others. That's fine, I was getting my head around how to manage it, no major problems. But, she has just called me up today, to say that one of my other members of staff (an apprentice) has handed her notice in today. I am sooooo annoyed that she has waited until today to do it, and also this means that I have to work out what to do in terms of replacing her & supporting the rest of the team, as this person was not only helping the accounts team while I'm away (it is an accounts apprenticeship), but also we have another member of staff who is hoping to retire as soon as her house sale goes through, so she was in place to take over from her too. Also when person A goes on her mat leave she will be taking up some of the jobs from her too.

The timing has just really pissed be off - I now have 2 weeks before the baby comes to try to sort out a replacement and work out what to do - it is my dept so I can't really leave it up to anyone else. Aargghhh!!!!

Anyway - 15 sleeps to go xx

elly your baby s coming in 2 weeks....ahhhh...so exciting!! I know resourcing problems are the last thing you need but if you can keep the same compliment of staff then it's hiring ? Can you delegate up and get one of your managers to help.. They must have some contingency.

Beaut wow, I couldn't even fit behind the wheel let alone do a driving test. I did mine at 6 months pregnant with my first and I threw my arms around the examiner when I passed ' now I don't have to go on a bus with my baby..thank you ' he was very uncomfortable!!! double wow re moving. Very exciting though. I so admire all your energy... 4.5 weeks to section and I am focusing on finish line.

Hi ladies - sorry been lurking for a few weeks as Ive been suffering from yet ANOTHER cold from my DD ... grrrr! .... more worringly Ive noticed in the past few days that my BP has been creeping upwards and yesterday I had 2 migranes ... given its week 32 I am really starting to worry that PE has returned this time! No swelling of hands and feet though which Im hopeing is a good sign?!?... Ive compared pics with 32 weeks last time and I look normal now and looked like a balloon this time last time Thankfully I have my 32 week consultants appointment tomorrow so will see how it goes - but reallllly hoping no proteins are found! I am only just going on mat leave on thursday and could really do with not having to be a frequent visitor to the DAU again .... sorry for the moan just feeling pretty low about it ....

Elly wow can't believe you only have two weeks left. With regards to work can you advertise the position internally as well as externally. It's hard but try not to stress about it. You may manage the department but I'm sure you gave plenty of notice to your seniors about your pregnancy and leave. You will have enough on your plate soon and I'm sure work will get sorted.

Yes we are moving to a bigger house and hopefully I will eventually be working from home. I'm so excited. It's a lovely house still not huge but just has a great feel about it.

Bood I must be mad. I'm trying to get myself as organised as possible. It would be a breeze I hadn't developed stupid spd.

Moll I hope you get reassured about PE. Again its something I never had. I keep getting headaches and my legs are swollen by evening but seem to go down once Ive put them up for an hour or so. So far at all my midwife appts blood pressure has been normal. I was thinking about getting it checked just to set my mind at rest. However, tomorrow I'm going home for few days so ill just wait til next midwife appt on 10th April if it doesn't worsen.

One thing I keep on getting is a really racing heart it panics me. This pregnancy is so different from previous two.

32+5

Beaut very exciting about the new house, is it far from your current one? A least you are moving before baby comes. We moved to Switzerland when my DD was 6 weeks old....!

Elly wow 2 weeks will fly by. I bet you cannot wait. And then is it expected that your pain will subside after that?

I emailed my Swiss midwife today and told her about my struggle with my back and sleep and looking after my DD. She has brought forward my appt with the consultant to 17 April so I am hoping that they agree to bring forward he C section by a week too which would mean only 5 more weeks of pain. Fingers crossed...

Ng Thats good of your midwife bringing an appt forward. Hope you get your earlier section. I have 7 weeks at least left. Hope Im like first two pretty much bang in due date or a lil early would be nice.

Yes house is just at other end of the village near to all the shops and doctors surgery.

We are only a med sized co so no chance to advertise internally - spoke to my MD and will go in to discuss how I can delegate and remote manage at least some of the recruitment process. Will prob aim to get someone more experienced this time though.

I think PGP pain generally tends to go soon after the baby is born but will have post c-section recovery then but will have my baby so that's all that's important.

Am crazy but I'm going to miss my bump and feeling the baby moving - I know I'll have my little one for cuddles etc which will be loads better

Elly - I said the same thing this morning to DH. I just love feeling them movement's. Feels like my little secret. Not quite so little though really !

Elly I'm the same. I love feeling the movements and even with the spd I'm loving being pregnant this time around. Think its because its a completely new experience this time around and because I know it will be my last.

I can't wait for to hold my newborn though and watch him whilst he sleeps