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The 3rd Gemini Luxury Bus

995 replies

Librarina · 20/01/2013 15:51

I thought I'd get our shiny new thread started, welcome.
Previos Thread

I also thought I'd include our little round up of who is having what, when...feel free to update, there's only a few of us so we shouldn't end up drowning in Stats!

kittykats : girl
JoJo: boy
Bringon: girl
Frust: boy
Blending: one of each
Lib: surprise - 1st baby - EDD June 7th
Lor: surprise (for now!)
Ohtheplaces: girl - 1st baby - EDD June 5th
Peardrop: boy

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Jojobump1986 · 12/03/2013 17:03

Confused Why do they want the health visitor there?! I didn't meet my health visitor until after DS was born & even then the only one who came to my house was a temp drafted in to cover the local backlog!

I forgot about the whooping cough jab. Yet another reason for them to poke us when we're pregnant! Sad

FrustratedSycamoresRocks · 12/03/2013 17:45

History jojo a bit like them closing the stable door long after the horse has bolted and been made into tescos burgers

They don't normally do home visits here either.

bringonthetrumpets · 12/03/2013 19:33

Just got back from the midwife. For some reason I thought taking the boys would be a good idea Hmm. It was mayhem and I also got a finger poke (ouch). Measuring right on and got the list of supplies for the homebirth. And that was about it for the apt.

FrustratedSycamoresRocks · 12/03/2013 20:39

Ooh bring what supplies do you need?

Librarina · 13/03/2013 07:54

Bring Whereabouts are you based? DH is more keen on hospital but I'm interested in home birth so I'd like to know how it works if you don't mind sharing.

I've finally caved and started using a pregnancy pillow, I am the comfiest I've ever been, it's like sleeping in a cosy nest!

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bringonthetrumpets · 13/03/2013 13:48

Lib I'm actually in the States so I've had to hire a private midwife for my homebirth....but I know there are lots of fab NHS midwives over there for homebirths. Check out your options, it's never too late to make the switch Wink.

I have to gather stuff like extra towels, flannels, old baby blankets, sheets and pillow cases I don't mind getting dirty, a waterproof mattress pad, heating pad, maternity pads, plastic-backed absorbant pads to put down on the floor or bed (chux pads we call them over here), a baby hat, a stock pot, some cookie sheets, thermometer, bin bags, a bowel for the placenta plus about 30 other random little things plus a "birth kit" that I order online that has the gloves and more medical stuff.....it's a very extensive list. I have to have it all ready by the home visit at 36 weeks, so 10 weeks to get organized!

Jojobump1986 · 13/03/2013 14:53

Wow, that's quite a list! The midwives over here didn't really give me any guidance about what to get & didn't leave any of their medical stuff here either. I just made sure we had plenty of towels/old sheets & a specific clean towel to wrap DS in, some bed-mats, plastic dust sheets, a bowl for any bowl-related needs & things like a fan incase I got too hot, a desk lamp incase they needed extra light & a torch incase the power went! I can post my full, absolutely-everything-we-might-need list if it'd be helpful to anyone.

Oh, that's just reminded me, if anyone tells you that you don't need proper maternity pads & the standard nighttime always type will do... They're lying. That was my one big mistake when it came to stocking up on supplies! Had to send poor DH to buy some. I think he might even have had to ask someone! He gets v embarrassed about such things!

Jojobump1986 · 13/03/2013 14:55

Bring... I might regret asking this but... What exactly are the stock pot & cookie sheets for? A spot of between-contraction cooking?! Grin

bringonthetrumpets · 13/03/2013 16:39

Haha. Yep cooking up some stuff in my bedroom! Grin No, the stock pot is for making an herbal tea that mamas use for postpartum baths (feels amazing on the sore bottom). And the cookie sheet is covered with a chux pad and it's an easy way for the midwives to put all of the instruments on it and if I randomly decide I want to move to another room they just have to pick up the tray and move it with me.

Yes. Get the maternity pads (or incontinence pants) for the first 3 days. It's like a very very heavy period.

Librarina · 13/03/2013 22:45

I did think for a moment that the stockpot was for making placenta stew. Am slightly relieved that its not!

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Jojobump1986 · 13/03/2013 23:19

That's what I was afraid of too, lib! Grin Herbal tea is a lot less icky! Perhaps in that scenario the cookie sheet would be used to bake the cord on low for a really long time to turn it into 'art' or jewelry. I really don't understand the idea of turning human tissue into art/jewelry. Tonsil earrings, anyone?! Wink

FrustratedSycamoresRocks · 13/03/2013 23:51

It would be a long and painful stretch for my tonsils to be earrings since they're still attached. Grin

Total and utter exhaustion anyone? I've been really struggling to function today, And now I can't sleep either. Bumpy has been practicing his trampolining skills for the past hour. Bleugh.

bringonthetrumpets · 14/03/2013 00:37

Well (here's the big reveal on how hippy I really am), my doula/best friend-who-is-also-a-student-midwife is encapsulating my placenta....and making a placenta smoothie (don't worry, it's a very tiny amount and it's mostly berries with ice cream!) for right after the birth [but no placenta stew!]. So now that you all know that I'm sure you'll all be kicking me off the thread and never talk to me again. Fine. My secret is out.

Jojobump1986 · 14/03/2013 07:53

bring... Eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwww!!! Wink

Lorelei353 · 14/03/2013 09:34

Hmmmm, I will not be following bring down the placenta-smoothie route, I think it's safe to say Hmm

FrustratedSycamoresRocks · 14/03/2013 10:05

Aren't you supposed to get vitamins and good stuff from the placenta? Ad it's really good for getting your strength back up. Is that sort of right bring?
And I'm sure it's custom somewhere to bury it?

kittykatsforever · 14/03/2013 10:54

I know it's surposed to be good for you but still yuck!!!
Must admit you had me thinking you were abit of a hippy way before that, home birth and doula were the triggers lolWink
I'm very much a believer in each to there own so you enjoy your placenta, I'm going to enjoy my epidural and tea and toast lol

kittykatsforever · 14/03/2013 10:55

Oh and booked whooping cough jab for next tue Sad
But got 4d scan tomorrow yeayGrin

FrustratedSycamoresRocks · 14/03/2013 13:21

4d scan. Wow kitty I'm not jealous, much. Envy

Home birth doesn't strike me as "hippy", but they're suggested all the time by midwives here. I've only ruled it out because of lack of pethadine, and water not helping me. Give me tens and pethadine any day.

Jojobump1986 · 14/03/2013 15:10

Just had my mw appt & booked a home visit ready for the hb! All ok with the baby & I'm measuring spot on which I'm quite impressed by given that I did a quick calculation this morning based on my current weight, weight at booking & the expected weight gain for someone my size at this stage & discovered that I must have lost at least 10% of my body weight due to the nausea! Scary! There wasn't a whole lot to me in the first place!

I saw the mw who delivered DS. I felt ill as soon as she walked through the door but then she went to an office rather than the consultation room so I assumed I wasn't going to have to talk to her. They only went & swapped between me & the previous patient so I had to deal with the woman who told me my baby might die. I really don't know why I didn't just walk out! She took my blood & managed to spill it all down my arm, onto a pillow & on the floor. She claims it's a fault with the needles & it 'often happens'. Hmm I've never seen them use any other sort of needle & no one else has dribbled blood everywhere! I'm really hoping that we have someone else come to do the home visit so we can actually talk to them. If it's her who comes then we'll have to contact the supervisor person who she spent DS's entire birth on the phone to & explain that I can't have her here for this birth. I'll happily have a homebirth with any other midwife but we're going to ask if we can call when I'm in early labour & find out who's scheduled to be doing the homebirths that day. If it's her then I'd rather go to the midwife-led unit. Just seeing her makes me tense. Clearly not helpful for labour! Sad

kittykatsforever · 14/03/2013 15:45

Oh dear Jojo that sounds traumatic?! If you don't mind me asking what happened with her? Did you have a hb with ds1? I'm not sure if you've mentioned the story, if it brings back to many memory's don't worry x

Jojobump1986 · 14/03/2013 17:01

Yes, had a homebirth. We originally met her at the local homebirth group but she left halfway through because she had a bad back & found sitting awkward. Cue her turning up just a couple of weeks later to deliver DS! She brought a student with her & I'm so glad I agreed to that - she was fab! Very long story slightly shorter... My contractions started at 5 mins apart, lasting just under a minute. We called her when they were 3 minutes apart, at about 11pm. She'd been working all day so was understandably tired. She seemed a bit abrupt when she tried to examine me & I had to ask her to stop because another contraction was starting & I couldn't bear to be on my back/lying still. It was on my birth plan that I didn't want any internals until I felt ready to push so I don't know why she was even trying to do it. Later on she announced that she could see a trace of meconium staining in the waters. She showed DH under a yellowish light & he couldn't see anything. By this point we were already getting the impression she just didn't want to be there. Shortly after that she decided they had to monitor the heartbeat every couple of minutes. I couldn't tell where one contraction ended & the next began which made it awkward for them to check it between contractions. It didn't help them that I needed to be kneeling & leaning over a beanbag! I managed to move enough that the student could get the device underneath me - clearly the actual mw had no intention of doing anything hands-on. Given that they were trying to measure the heartbeat in the middle of a contraction it's not overly surprising that it seemed a little low. It did come back up to within normal, non-contraction ranges but she chose to ignore these readings because she was busy insisting that we really should be transferring in, telling us repeatedly that she'd feel more comfortable if she could call an ambulance & then telling us it was our choice... Before starting to go on about it again when DH said no. It was at this point that she loudly announced that "this baby may not come out alive". Her exact words. We agreed to let her call an ambulance & it arrived a few minutes later so the paramedics stood around on the landing as DS was born about 2 minutes after they arrived. He was fine. If DH hadn't stood up to her I strongly suspect that DS would either have been born in the ambulance or that the faffing of moving would've interrupted the labour & he could've got into trouble then.

I had a small pph & a bad 2nd degree tear which she 'wasn't willing' to stitch at home so we did transfer in. The doctor she handed me over to commented on how dehydrated I was. It was only at this point that she sternly said to me "yes, you haven't been to the toilet at least since we arrived & you weren't drinking either". She'd not thought to mention that fluids are important before that though. I would've guessed at it being shortly after midnight when DS was born, not 4am so clearly I wasn't going to have drunk enough in that time! I also overheard her talking to the doctor about some potential job opportunity have just discovered she was doing the Supervisor of Midwives training & she said something along the lines of how she was reconsidering it after a night like that, the implication being that I was just awkward. I kinda thought that the midwife was there to advise me, perhaps encourage helpful positions & generally make suggestions about how to get the best outcome possible, not to shout at me, ignore my wishes, be stroppy with me & then tell me off for not drinking as if they'd been encouraging it all night!

I did briefly speak to her supervisor about it at my booking appointment this time & she said that most people think she's great. I can understand that: she had a bad back, she'd been working all day & we weren't blindly following their protocol but she barely interacted with us at all before getting cross that we weren't just doing what we were told & she tried to turn the whole thing into my fault by insisting that I should've drunk more. It just all gave us the impression that she didn't want to be there & was v keen for everyone to know that none of it was 'her fault'. I'm sure she's a lovely lady & generally competent but the thought of having her anywhere near me during labour makes me feel v emotional & physically sick so I really can't have her be in charge of another delivery! I just can't trust her to listen to me.

If we could afford it we'd hire a private midwife so we could guarantee who we'd get. I've just discovered that one of the MWs I got to know during my last pregnancy is now in charge of a local midwife-led unit. That'd be my next choice if my only homebirth option was to have DS's midwife!

Sorry, that really was v long... You did ask though! Wink

Jojobump1986 · 14/03/2013 17:30

I feel so pathetic. I've spent the whole afternoon completely freaking out about the vague possibility of it being her again. They're on a rota of about a dozen midwives so it's really unlikely to be her! In my last pregnancy there was a team of 3 MWs based at the clinic who were all lovely. They've all changed & DS's mw is one of the ones who's based there now. I've seen a different person for all my appointments so far & noone's mentioned who's in the team now. I've had to figure out by myself that none of the three I saw last time are still there! I'd just like to know that I'll be seeing X, Y or Z at an appointment but I don't have any idea who it's likely to be! To make it all worse, DH has a huge deadline tomorrow so is having to stay late again tonight which leaves me to do everything in the house when I just want to hide in bed & cry! Sad Flaming hormones!

kittykatsforever · 14/03/2013 17:39

Lol well it's hard to get a whole labour in a short paragraph, it is likely as you say on the whole on a good day when she's not tired she's good at her job but in your case she clearly wasn't and ofcourse that taints a relationship, you definatly don't want to be uncomfortable or have her dismiss real concerns because she tars you with difficult or something, it would be a shame to give up on something you want because if her though, how likely do you think it is? Do you know how many mw in your area do home births? If there are only a few I guess it's better getting your head around the possibility of going in instead, I'm lucky my mw were great but my dsis had some negative comments etc, its like they think you can't hear them if your in labourAngry! I can't believe she said that comment though abd that you stated calm in your first birth, kudus to you, I had a great first experience so now scared it can only go downhill

Librarina · 14/03/2013 18:41

I think the thing I'm most worried about in labour is handling the personalities and managing the relationships with professionals who will be supporting us. I have previously worked with HCPs and I know that the vast, vast majority of them are skilled, competent, compassionate, good at communicating; everything you'd want from a person looking after you in labour. However as in any profession, some people have a poor manner, are brusque and abrupt, have their own strong preferences, or are just having a bad day...the difference being that if the person giving me a smear test is having a bad day, it's over in 5 minutes, labour is a huge deal, it lasts a long time and I have no control over a lot of what is happening. It's something I'm going to have to get my head around but I am nervous bout it.

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