Graduated elderberries

[janey1234]

Hello all..,
Let's clog up a brand spanking new club over here

(By hello all, I guess I mean hello hazle. Hopefully the others will join us soon...)

One of those mornings, have convinced myself that there must be something wrong. Any reason to think that - of course not. Just the usual - shouldn't I have more symptoms, all books say I should be having this and feeling that. Shouldn't I look more pregnant by now? Shouldn't I...well, you know the drill. Sigh. Next doctor's appointment on 29th only.
And of course suddenly all papers and internet is full of stories where parents discover some not compatible with life conditions at 20 week scan..

If I'm having one of these regular moments of neuroses, the only way I can make myself feel vaguely better is to ask myself what I can actually do about it? And the answer is a big fat nothing. The lack of control somehow comforts me which I know sounds barking mad. It will be a total shitter to get bad news but this baby's destiny is already set out so it's pointless torturing myself with worry about things over which I have no control. All I can do it carry on with as healthy a lifestyle as possible and keep everything crossed. Despite all this though I am still very much in the niggling worrying camp and I suspect I will be until the end.

I'm with you both, hazle and rache. I vaguely relax from time to time - by not thinking about it - but then start to worry again. For example, am now starting to worry there won't be a heartbeat at my 16 week appointment on Tuesday. I know the odds are that there will be, but like you hazle I'm pretty symptom free (except sneezing blood, feeling a bit fat and toilet issues! attractive!) so it's sometimes hard to believe that I really am pregnant....

I'm quite glad we have our own thread now btw, it's lovely to be able to worry and moan and obsess excessively without worrying about our ttc chums. Having said that I hope some of them are able to join us soon...

Has anyone else got a burning desire to start buying? I have bought zero so far but I can feel it brewing and have written a list. I have been dead against buying anything previously as I felt it was bad luck but I have suddenly gone completely the other way! Practically speaking, we're weeks away from being organised enough to store baby purchases as the baby's room is still an undecorated wilderness, but I'm not convinced my will power will hold out long enough to decorate it and buy storage furniture, especially after finding out the sex tomorrow. I will just be making my life harder by trying to decorate around a load of baby stuff!

Ha, yes Rache. I keep finding myself in mothercare or cute little kiddies clothes boutiques. And we're miles away from being ready for stuff: we're thinking about getting our loft converted (are we mad?!). Lordy knows why - we've got a three double bedroom/two bathroom house for the two/three of us, but somehow the thought of having an extra bathroom and bedroom is very appealing! The hall is also in the midst of being decorated, but that's on hold until we decide about the attic. I'm assured it can be done in three months from start to finish (and 7 weeks build time) but really, what are we doing?! At least it's put my baby purchasing on hold for a short while...

How bloody exciting you're finding out the sex tomorrow! Any thoughts at the moment? If you had to guess....?

I'm certainly checking. I use a local expat message board and people often sell baby stuff there - so yes, it's quite tempting. Someone just posted a whole bundle of newborn clothes for sale..
I'm not buying anything big like furniture or the bugaboo before the 20-week scan. Will go check out the village babystuff fleamarket though.

Janey are you having an additional scan to find out the sex as well?

I'll have the NHS scan at 20 weeks, but don't think I want to find out the sex then, and have just about persuaded DP the same. I don't know why, but I think I'd like a surprise on the day... So it's 5 weeks until I have that. Nuts that at that point you're half way through: even though time is going ridiculously slowly, it doesn't feel like I should be nearly at the half way point already, if you see what I mean.

I think I will probably start buying stuff after the 20 week scan too. That should leave plenty of time I think?

Do you all think we're crazy about the loft conversion? I'm very lucky and my folks are fab, so I know they'd move down to oversee things during the day and help keep on top of things, so I'm hoping it wouldn't be too bad.

Also busily trying to convince DP that a) we should fork out for air con in the main loft bedroom for those four nights a year it's necessary in London and b) we should move up there and have the second bedroom as a dressing room. I think he's more keen to have it as some kind of xbox room...

I'm so glad it's not just me! Janey it doesn't sound like you particularly need the loft conversion at the moment, although it would probably be a useful addition if you were to have another baby in the future, and everyone bangs on about how they add tons of value to your house

I am really starting to think we should of moved house before this baby rather than deciding to wait until afterwards. We still live in the house I owned before meeting DH. DH went self-employed 2 years ago and with the economy/housing market being what it is we didn't think it was the best time to be moving/getting a mortgage. Also, DH has a house which he rents out but needs to sell it this year before we can think about moving. We have 3 bedrooms but DH currently has a home office in one of them and we have DSD staying 1 or 2 nights a week so things really are starting to get a bit cramped! I want a bigger house to fill up with cute baby stuff!

I am a bit nervous at finding out the sex. I don't even know why as I'm desperate to know and have paid for this scan specifically to find out! I suppose if I'm completely honest I would like a girl and, while I think I will be fine if it's a boy, i'm still worried about being disappointed if/when it's confirmed that it's a boy.
If there's any substance in the skull and nub theories then it is a boy.

No Janey if you have the option, go for it. Always nice to have more living space. Better start soon though, you don't want to risk that the building works take longer than predicted (as they always do) and you'll have buliders running through the house while you're trying to breastfeed a newborn..

Yes, we've given ourselves two weeks to decide. Finances are all sorted, so we're just getting various quotes and working out generally how affordable everything will be if I do take a whole year off. Part of the reason for me wanting to do it is that it's been my house for 8 years, but only DP's for a few months, and he really wants to do it. All the house was finished when he moved in except the hall, so it's all my choice/taste and feels like my house. This will give him the chance to make an impression on our house, and put some money into it to properly make it ours, IYSWIM. Plus I don't think we'll ever regret having too much space?

Rache I always really wanted a girl too, but for some unknown reason I think I'm having a boy! The only thing I think about having a boy is that the first time I was an aunty it was to my nephew, and I am still completely besotted and in love with him five years later. If my son was half as lovely/perfect as he is I know I'd adore him, so having had such a brilliant nephew has made me feel that having a son would be pretty damn good too... But if he wasn't as bloody gorgeous as my nephew, I'd much prefer a girl

Not sure about the skull theory, tell me more?

Skull Theory
I have put my 12 week picture up so maybe you would like to have a guess?

I don't even know why I would prefer a girl. It's totally irrational.

I guess it looks like a boy according to that theory - but my scan looks exactly the same! Pretty flat from nose to chin. So either the theory is rubbish, or we're both having boys!

The only thing I find tricky is that there are loads of girls names I love, but only a few boys names that I like...

ps scans are properly cute, aren't they...

I have just fallen down the stairs.
Bollocks. Bollocks. Bollocks. Shit. Fuck. Bollocks. sorry

I obviously wasn't worrying enough before and needed to add something else into the mix. And DH is away in Scotland tonight

Baby's heartbeat seems normal on the doppler but thank goodness I have the private scan tomorrow.

I don't think the skull theory is an exact science so it may well be rubbish but will hopefully find out tomorrow. I can't think of any names I love in either gender. There are plenty that I like but none jump out as being THE one.

Oh my god rache, are you OK??

Thank god for the doppler! I honestly think all will be fine, our bodies are built to protect the bump more than us, but what a horrid worry. Have you hurt yourself?

BE CAREFUL xx

I am ok Janey. It was about 5 stairs and I was a bit winded when I landed at the bottom but luckily my arse is quite cushioned I reckon I will be on the doppler several times before the night is out though.

I am a total clutz sometimes. I fell down stairs last year and broke my foot in 6 places [moron emoticon]

Me too rache. Ridiculously clumsy. DP is CONSTANTLY telling me the floor is slippery, or icy, or that there's a bump in the pavement. Not that it helps, I seem to fall over thin air sometimes...

Glad you're not too hurt. Am sure all will be fine, but yes, thank goodness for the scan tomorrow. And then you can tell me if the skull theory has worked for you! Am intrigued....

Good job you fell on your arse and not your fat free belly

Gosh glad you're ok Rach and at least it was well timed with your scan I suppose. I would like a girl, I know I'll love either and it doesn't really matter bit because OH has already got a 13 year old son I really want it to be a girl so we're sharing something completely new together. I know it's a silly idea but somehow it seems important to me. I'm sure when it comes down to it it won't matter either way though.
We too are supposed to be embarking on a loft conversion but my OH wants to do it himself, he is pretty handy but I sense this means it will be finished possibly in 2015 so am understandably freaking out about it. We really could do with the space though.

Oh that must have been scary Rach, glad you're ok. And don't panic if you simply can't find the heartbeat!
We want to hear about the scan asap!

Thanks ladies. I have nearly flattened the batteries on the doppler tonight, I'm so glad I had it or I think I would be freaking out.

Scan isn't until tomorrow night but I will let you know if we're in the pink or blue camp

rach glad you're ok!! All the best for the scan tomorrow!!

Aargh, I have only just read properly what tonight's scan includes: well-being checklist, sexing of baby, thermal b/w images, 4D FREEVIEW!!! (with lots of extras available to buy at additional cost! ) I could be bankrupt by the time I get out of there! I must start start mentally preparing to resist the urge to buy absolutely everything available....

What time is your scan Rach? just so I know when to start hanging around waiting for an update! (stupidly excited on your behalf!)

You know how you always see those threads about stupid comments people make to pregnant people?...it has begun!

I didn't get all huffy and offended like other people seem to but in the space of one day was told by one group of people "Oh my gosh, you're TINY! are you SURE there's a baby in there? I look more pregnant than that when I've just had a big meal, you just don't look pregnant at all!" and then a matter of hours later, a different group of people "Oh my word, you're HUGE! are you SURE there's only one of them in there? Seriously, you look like you're having TWINS!"
Now the first group were Mums, most of which are pregnant with or have just had their 2nd child, the second group were people who haven't had children. Who do I believe? I found it so funny!

I've also noticed that the reactions from parents and non-parents have certainly been very different. From most non-parents I get a flat "congrats then". Parents- even if they are just random colleagues who have found out - squeal and hug me, ask daily how I'm doing and tell me all about their own experiences. Honestly, it's like becoming a member of some secret club..