June 2013 thread 2 - Are your jeans feeling snug yet?

[PseudoBadger]

New thread for June 2013 :)

MrsBri - does your train company have first class section? You can ask your midwife for a letter to get you a free upgrade to first class if the train is full. (Or at least you can on South Eastern trains, not sure if that's a universal thing). If you're using central London, get yourself a 'baby on board' badge from transport for London, they send it for free.

I got my first given to me on the tube yesterday, by a woman of course, every bloke suddenly seems to be fancinated by their shoes when a bump arrives, I thought the badge was supposed to make it easier for blokes to do the "is she fat or pregnant?" decision....

Merseyrail don't have loos, let alone first class. Just shit trains with a shit service.

I almost always get a seat, but I have to change at Liverpool to get across to the Wirral which adds to the awfulness of the journey. And recently the trains have been buggered on the Wirral side which basically leaves me trapped. Hate it!

See, I like your thinking Mrs Bri - I work as a PA, my current boss is a muppet. I went off last time round working for an amazing woman, one of those real 'important woman to know' in the city who really got the family/work balance (she'd come in a 7am on the understanding I had to have her out of the door by 5:30pm at the latest, I could book as many conference calls after 9pm when the DCs were asleep I wanted, her DH did the 'early shift' with the DCs and any overseas travel had to be checked with his PA, the nanny, and justified 100% to her), but I wanted to work 3 days a week and they could only offer me that working for a muppet who has spent the last couple of years having a mid-life crisis and now he's walked out on his family doesn't get that other people might have stuff to do in the evenings... (and breathe)

oh seen about your commute, I would definately be looking for somehting near by then. Although, don't tell them until you have to - I think they have to pay you your holiday allowance for the year (so a month's wage) and I think at the point you quit they only pay upto that point.

I'm basing how much holiday I have to use on finishing at the end of August. Probably will be a bit longer though, but I'll just get paid that in my final pay.

I'd be leaving if I were you, too, based on that.

I certainly won't be letting them know until I send my notice letter in :-)

I just had a little splurge in the Debenhams sale - for £25 got 7 bibs, 4 bodysuits and 3 sleepsuits. Oops... I know, I know, could get them cheaper elsewhere...

So hard not knowing what colour to buy things in. Trying to split things half and half - I need to get some basics in white, I just couldn't resist the boys things. I'm sure it's either two boys or a boy and a girl, not sure why.

They're wriggling around like mad this morning, and last night I was mid doing the intro to the speaker at WI, and my bump suddenly went all tight and I couldn't breathe! Slightly embarrassing but I got through it, and people were so kind to me all night, made a real fuss of me.

Just booked on NCT course, we decided to do it in the end even though for me it'll probably end up being more on the social side as the birthing bit will in all probability be a bit different! Got used to the idea of not being able to have a water birth but still trying to get my head around a c-section if needs be.

Had a long chat with my boss about maternity leave yesterday. I still don't think he realises that for me it's only 12 / 13 weeks off in all likelihood!! Two major projects to try and complete before then.

Hope everyone else is well - off for a swim in my new marquee maternity swimsuit

That sounds like a good shopping splurge!
I spent a small fortune online in next sale on mat clothes, I've not tried any on yet though I'm mustering up the energy.
I'm still undecided on when to finish work, prob end of may and take a couple of weeks holiday then start mat leave but it's very tempting to use my annual leave to have a 3 day week for a few weeks!
I looked at nct but there is none near me that are convenient dates so looks like it will be nhs fingers crossed the dates work out

I'm being talked at constantly by well meaning friends about maternity leave. Personally I love my job and the thought of having my wings clipped post March when I can't fly anymore is worrying me (I travel a lot with work). I'm planning on having about 7 months off (back after Christmas) but quite happy to work up til 2 weeks before due date (so long as I'm still healthy). I love my job and think I'll be desperate to get back to work to talk to adults about something that is not a baby i.e. poo, sick, sleep. Female colleagues certainly felt their sanity return once they went back to work. Of course those who think they know better keep rolling their eyes at me and say I won't want to go back to work ever once babs is born. Ho hum - lets see what I say come December 2013....

Hi all!
Have managed to resist sales so far- am trying to sort my debt out so that I can take a bit longer mat leave- last time we planned on yr but poor DH lost his job so I went bk after 7 months which I know is still good but felt it was cut short from original plans. Last time I finished at about 37 wks as I was shattered by then and could face the parents evening due that wk( I'm a teacher)! This time around I'm thinking around 36 wks depending on how everything's going as I'd like to have some time to spend some special time with DS1 before his world is somewhat rocked!
Am also really unsure of what to do re return to work. I know people will probably think I'm mad for saying this with the hols and early finish to school day but I'm not sure that teachings for me anymore. Would maybe like to try something with less hols but which I can switch off from when I leave from the day. There have been so many evenings when I've desperately wanted DS to just go to sleep so I can get my work done and I've felt so guilty- it's been lovely this wk to enjoy the later nights playing with him! Although I'm aware I'm probably having the whole grass is greener thing! And can obviously strike off what you do dontmind- sounds like there's no let up from your boss!

I'm thinking I might finish up end of May and have approx 3 weeks before due date. Have a meeting set up with HR to talk it through next week. I love my job too, Sunny, so feels weird. I'm planning to take 9 months off and prob go back either 3 or 4 days. We're in a lucky situation as my partner has income from properties and so doesn't have to work so he is going to be the main childcarer during the week while I work. Means we don't have to factor in nursery fees or rely on parents. We're still trying to work out where to live though!

I used to love my job, now my employer is just not nice to work for, and doesn't give a shit about the duty of care it has towards me now I'm pregnant.

So I'm just going to enforce my rights very vocally as I know it annoys them :-)

Hi aloha it was me who found out gender before Christmas during my amnio-related scans. Congrats ella on also having a girl!

Still waiting for amnio results, should be this afternoon or tomorrow...

sunnyL last time I worked to 2 weeks before my due date. I got a shock as I finished work on the Friday evening and then the bean appeared, early, on the Monday morning! I was quite unprepared...but it meant I had the max time with her before going back to work, which was lovely. I'm planning to finish earlier this time as I'd like to spend time with DD, rest, pack my hospital bag, and make all those freezer meals you're supposed to make this time round!

Also I am thinking about taking an easy holiday (maybe Corsica or Crete) at 34/35 weeks if all's well, just before the 36 week flying cut-off. Not sure if it's risky though. Does anyone think it's a bad idea?

SunnyL - with DS I intended to go off at 38 weeks, but I had a scare at 34 weeks (started bleeding and having bad Braxton Hicks, called my midwife who said "not to alarm you dear, but I dont think you've got time to get back to Kent, get to the nearest maternity hospital in central London" - ended up in St Thomas' being told "the baby is on it's way" just to have DS decide to stay put until 38 weeks), so after that decided to finish up as quickly as possible, which was 36 weeks. Because I didn't get to 40 weeks last time round, I've been told to assume similar this time round, and I figure 36 weeks planned end means I'm unlikely to be dropping anyone in it by going off without a handover - of course it is still possible I could have a very premature baby, but that's always a risk!

I know several other woman who've worked to 38 or 39 weeks (one who's waters broke during her leaving lunch with us all!), if your commute isn't to tiring and your work is rather 'sit down and use your brain, not your muscles' there's no reason to go off earlier than you want too - could you arrange to work from home a day a week for the last month to make it a little easier for you?

I knew with DS I wanted to go back to work (but PT), having booked my nursery place for him from 3 months old, however I loved maternity leave, I think it's because I met a large group of educated, funny, normal woman - some who returned to work, some who didn't, but all who remained more than just "X's mum" and could talk about everything from the election complications, to the situation in the middle east to our thoughts on different moisturisers and Royal wedding hat choices - and then yes, a little conversation about poo/sleep/feeding. It's important I think to throw yourself into maternity leave, get to meet as many different and varied woman as possible, my experience returning to work, those who didn't enjoy their maternity leave tended to be those who didn't seem to make the most of it and just stayed at home most days. If you do return to work full time anyway, it's good to have cultivated friends with similar aged DCs so you can still do weekend play dates - and quite frankly have a few people you can call on if your childcare falls through! (If you are prepared to offer a having their DCs on a Saturday so they can go for lunch with their DP/H you can still repay the favour!)

As your first was a bit early I'd not risk it quite that close? but that's my very humble not at all judgey opinion!

I'm going to see the MW tomorrow for my 17week appt, hopefully hear the heartbeat, and hopefully chase the therapy I so very desperately need. My blue mood isn't lifting and even DH and his awful jokes aren't cheering me up. So much pressure at work and so much to do before maternity leave (38weeks).

Dies anyone know if there is conclusive evidence about mums stress levels on babies?

Also I did a post in pregnancy which was well commented on about when people left work, made for interesting reading will try to find the link.

Feel really guilty now after listening to you ladies as I plan 3 months off after babies born I am a nursery manager so baby will be with me but still feel bad may have longer

oh and SunnyL - if you are certain you are going back full time, I'd start looking at nurseries soon and try to get your DC's name down as soon as they are born to avoid disappointment if you need a January return to work date - January is one of those times when a lot of woman return to work (as most want to get Christmas out of the way and most companies would rather have you return in the new year after the quiet spell of the Christmas period). Send your DP to put your name down on paternity leave!

(Most charge you £50 to put your name down, you could put your DC down for a full time place then make the decision later, you normally would only have to give them a month's notice if you want the place or not, and £50 isn't that much to lose if you don't want to return/only want a part time place/decide to use a nanny/childminder instead)

Dreamydays - a good rule of thumb is don't go anywhere after 32 weeks you wouldn't be prepared to have the baby. Would it not be easier to get the baby a passport ASAP and try to go for a September holiday? (That's our current plan anyway)

Pink Apples - I think your situation is very different - most people won't get to have their baby with them! Would you be able to have longer if you wanted it? (thinking if you are the boss, are you self employed - are you able to find someone to cover?)

Good points well made above. I'm very lucky that work are being mega flexible with me. I tried to instigate a discussion about cover during maternity leave and boss just said not to worry, plenty of time to discuss these things in the New Year. If anything they see it as a positive that I'm having a baby since it pretty much ties me to the company for another few years and I'll be more willing to do the deskbound jobs. Most of us would normally far prefer to do the travel related jobs which don't bring as much money into the company.

Dontmind - those are exactly the kind of women I need to meet during maternity leave! We've only recently moved to a new village and don't know many people so I'm hoping the antenatal classes will be a starting point to meeting people.

I'm going back part-time since it doesn't seem to make a big difference financially between working full time and part-time once I factor in childcare costs. Might as well get a few days to spend with babs if it won't break the bank.

Redwelly - there was a paper recently published that said women that work up until they are 8 months pregnant do as much damage as smoking would for your child. Its probably all dependent on the type of job you do, how you handle stress and your own baseline health conditions.

Just a quick hello - back in cold UK now after a lovely break home in Australia. Excellent catching up on all your news, good diversion as I battle jetlag! Thank goodness not back at work till Monday.

I think we are hoping to do well on second-hand nursery furniture, etc from some (wealthier!) friends who are just finishing with their fourth child. Any saving is a goodie....

Def feeling movements now, kind of weird! Consultant appt as well as anomaly scan on 15-01 so will feel more comfy after we've had that and been given the all-clear.

Hope everyone feeling bit better! I've got no MS anymore but still getting bloody 2-3 day migraines a bit too regularly.

SunnyL - I would suggest you start your investigations into 'mum and baby' groups early! Do you drive? You could look what's going on in each village near you, and go to a different one each day to see who you meet - my NCT group were really good as well.

Good plan Dontmind. I do drive but as an environmental consultant I have this strange aversion to ever taking my car out. My husband keeps threatening to sell my car if I don't use it. I prefer to cycle everywhere but according to Halfords i can't put babs into a bike seat until it is at least 9 months. Still we're investigating childcare options that means I can cycle babs there instead of forever being a slave to the petrol pump. Plus it means I can eat more cake

Ooh meant to say Dreamydays we're planning a trip to Marrakech in early March as our last city break for a while since I can't imagine doing that kind of holiday with a small person in tow. KLM also says I can keep flying until 36 weeks so long as I have a letter from the midwife. I'll probably avoid longhaul from about 32 weeks though.

Well that makes me feel just brilliant.

Can't finish work before 38weeks anyway but it is a desk based job, site visits will probably stop around 32-34weeks. The stress I'm under is mainly from the pregnancy itself!

Bit of a shock to the system after sunshine, Oli.

I wake with a headache every day. It usually subsides once I eat / drink. They can be persistent though.

Must remember to mention it to midwife on Monday.

Maybe I'll finish even earlier based on that study. My work / workplace is stressful, and I really don't want to harm bubs at all :-/