March 2013 VIII: feeling kicks, comparing knits and halfway there

[theTramp]

Old thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1588951-March-2013-VII-Our-little-pumpkins-are-getting-fatter?msgid=35174657#thread

Thanks, ladies, that's all v. reassuring! I am having some kind of hot flush on this train. Resisting urge to take boots off!

The FB stuff goes completly over my head. I'm really not up with it and barely keep up here let alone there as well! I shall leave others to figure out how secret is still is.

I read the posts about attatchment parenting andthink I need to google! I'd got it in my head it was the one where you don't ever put the baby down. But thinking more I think that's kangaroo parenting. Hmm, google me thinks.

Phew, glad it's the weekend.

DH away for the night so I've enjoyed a bath with DS and now snugled up in PJs eating left over pizza hut from last night with a Harry Potter book ready to turn to!

Hey, just got back from cinema, went to see Twighlight with one of my friends. Happy with what it was :) Made it through with only one loo break, that's impressive for me at the moment!

Also glad its the weekend, glad to be over flu and dd being over hand, foot and mouth!

Really knackered after going down to London for afternoon board meeting - at least it wasn't a full day, I suppose :-) Meeting went well. Bossman told me he doesn't expect to see me in London for a number of months, bless him. Says he can come to Oxford if there's stuff we need to do in person. Nice to have that green light to miss all the not-so-important stuff that I'd usually go down for from now on. But there are two research trips to the BFI that I really want and, to an extent, need to make so I have new stuff to work on from him in Dec and Jan. They are full days tho and DH insisting on taking two days off and coming down with me, just so he can carry my bags and protect me on the Tube. Wot a sweetie! It does increasingly take it out of me. I have not moved from sofa since getting in and off to bed now, looking forward to a lie-in.

I was pleasantly surprised at all the chivalry from men and women on trains today and a bloke who carried my wheelie briefcase type bag up the stairs on the tube. That said I had a fair number of knobs pushing past me too, boo, and a w*nker of a cab driver who saw me waddle up the line to his cab, struggle with bags opening the door and take an age to lift wheelie case into cab and THEN ask 'Oh, do you need any help love?' ... 'That would have been really nice of you two minutes ago' I grumpily replied!

Sorry I'm a bit behind with people's news. But generally people seem to be having a tough old few days. Cups of hotchoc all round and a slice of as well.

Hermione can you try putting up a 'wanted' advert on your local freecycle? Those sunlight lamps are the kind of thing people may have in their lofts and be happy to pass on if no more use for them. Or look on eBay for a 2ndhand one? Thanks for the Denby factory tip!

JoJo I think in your situation it's perfectly normal not to have things set in stone re childcare yet. Tbh it sounds like you do have a plan, and preferences, but are open-minded about the fine detail. Really, really great about your parents being so enthusiastic about pitching in

Suburban I'm not sure what a Braxton Hicks feels like. I get aches and pains in my bump and it's really, really sore too. I'm sure it's just growing pains. I go through phases of this. But it's really big and really sore. Like carrying around a heavy bowling ball. And the band across my belly button is not just really sore but also a bit sticking out and tender to the touch. Wishing I had worked harder on developing some muscles there over the years! Blimmin' twins!

Em my DH is like that with mince pies! We are holding out till December tho! Um, lotus birthing ? well, you learn something new every day!

Well done on finishing the marking Flowery! I'm currently trying to forget I have a pile of essays to mark at some point this weekend, but only ~17, not several hundred!!

Welcome back MrsBC and hello to Hanah77. Sorry no knowledge to share about placentas. But really good you are getting lots of medical attention this time.

Happy weekends, lovelies.

Oh, didn't there used to be an icon for cake? Am I going mad?!

Not had a cake icon , gransnet does though

Me post alert!!

URGH. DH has had to do all poo nappies since I've been pregnant and the few I've dealt with when he's not here have made me vomit without fail. DH is away today and this morning I heard DS doing masive liquid poo trumps from two rooms away. I was throwing up before I even got to him, again in the clean up operation, and a third time whilst clearing up my own sick. YUCK. So, I did from Sunday mid morning to Friday evening without vomiting, but poo nappies have broken my stint. And I can no longer vomit without a bit of wee coming out . Oh dear, was such a good girl doing pelvic floor excercises last time when pregnant, but didn't keep them up for long after and haven't thought about them really this time. More fool me. Time to get started.

I've parked DS in front of Ivor the Engine (awsome DVD) whilst I take a few minutes to recuperate.

Bless you flowery :( hope its just a blip and the no-sick can continue.

Sorry haven't been here in a couple of days, the Fb thing Are you sure you don't mean newsfeed Tramp, rather than timeline, anything that manda comments on will come up on your newsfeed because she is your friend and as you are in the group you can see all comments.
If you want to be sure click in your timeline and in privacy settings you can view your profile how someone else sees it so type in a friends name and you can see what they see.

Gummi - timeline prob is what I mean. I will check. Thanks.

Flowery - boo! To vomit & poo. Although hurrah to Ivor the Engine (& Idris the dragon).

Hi all, wave to returners and newbies! Sorry not posted for ages, frankly cant keep up! Sickness and feeling yukky seems to prevail here oh dear!! Hope there is bloom recoverage soon. Agreed FB easier than on here, and no I didn't have any privacy issues with stuff appearing on time line ref Marchers Group. Don't have any info on placenta stuff am sorry.

Was in Copenhagen most of the week for a oil trading discussion workshop for new IT system and my head just hurts!!! Too much walking and a very achy bump.

Rubbish people were no help in taxis, airport buses or trains with my luggage. Grrrrrrr!!!!! Then again maybe people these days are afraid of having help offers rebuffed or taken as insulting?!

Am 26 weeks now, six months down! A chap in my office asked me how long I had to go, I breezily said 3 months or so and he said did I hear about X in doc control (due 4 weeks before me) who gave birth last week at 30 weeks (both fine apparently). I gulped and got rather panicked, as that would be around Christmas for me!!

The SAH/working discussions I have been reading with interest, people have quite strong views on others choices it seems, as does society/media.

Personally? Do what's right or fits in for your family, there is bound to be an element of compromise in any direction you choose, you're making a new family or adding another dimension to your existing one!

Frankly it is no one else's business what you and your baby's father choose to do in order to look after everyone?!

For what it's worth, I will be returning to work, after 9 months maternity leave plus carried over, accrued and future annual leave so nearly a year in total, and (although waiting for it in writing) going back in Jan part time for 3 months (to ease me back in, and allow work some flexibility with full time post role options as i am not guaranteed same role back as I am going over the 26 weeks ordinary maternity leave ) then will be full time from April.

My DP will also work full time, but he is local without a large commute so will do the nursery dropping run and pick up, as I leave for work 6:30 am and get home 6pm. Not so ideal for me seeing tiddler in eve, but a little later bedtime, and a consistent approach is the best we can do, and frankly it's no different to what the stereotypical contact of a dad would be. I would be very keen to be part time all the time, but that's not possible either financially or career wise at the moment.

Wondering when we'll look at nurseries tho, I think prob before Xmas, as if get booked up there aren't many options in a small town.

In other news, our house refurb still not finished, another 2 weeks it seems ( it's been a long time since August ), and the comments are now changing from "do you think you'll be back in before Christmas?" to "do you think you'll be in before the baby comes?!". Not funny!

DP got work all weekend, so am tasked with doing some Xmas shopping, but online (in the freezing cottage as no internet in our temp accomm) as can't face the heaving hordes in the "big city"!!

Pub quiz tonight with some newish friends, we are rubbish at quizzes but an excuse to meet up and get their news on new houses and new jobs and stuff.

Don't remember who said was it too early to get pram, but we got ours last week, I bought off eBay, unseen, DP picked it up and it's in MIL loft! For a control freak like me I'm pretty impressed at not getting stressed about not having even played with it!!

Been making friends with 2 other ladies at my hypo-relaxation class, and aqua natal starts again next week after long term pool closure so looking forward to that! Just signed up to birthing classes in January, the main event is racing towards us!!

Have a nice weekend all x

Morning lovely marchers hope you all slept well and are feeling well today. My lovely DD is trying to kick a hole in my stomach it seems. She must have had another growth spurt as the kicks have suddenly got more powerful and my stomach feels much more stretched. I guess the stretchmarks are imminent! I'm 25 weeks today and have had an emotional day yesterday. I just kept wanting to cry about how much I love her :) it is a lovely feeling but a bit embarrassing at work

Glad to hear lots of you have bought or are buying prams. We are close to ordering ours thanks to MIL's generosity. Can buy anything else now though as we had an unexpected car repair bill of £400 this week :( really didn't need that!

We finally got a letter back to the nursery confirming our deposit and place on the list Was slightly miffed as I did all the arranging but they still addressed everything to DH first! Petty I know but it bugs me. I don't know whether to be worried that the letter said they will contact us nearer the time to discuss availability. I hope they will have a place or we will be in trouble!

Lots to do this weekend but I also need to fulfil my craving for spinach so will be putting it in everything :)

flowery sorry to hear about your sickness. Is it still MS or a bug? I hope the nappies get less smelly for you :)

chef I hope the house gets sorted in the next 2 weeks for you. I hope you get your bloom soon too :)

manda glad your DH is looking after you and that people are being nice on trains. Shame about the rude shoving people though. A woman clattered me with a basket in waitrose yesterday and just gave me a rude look instead of apologising!

Yay for you and DD being better three

to mrsbc and hanah.

I don't know about attachment parenting or lotus birthing but I will read about it today over my coffee.

Have a lovely day all!

My revised childcare plan: Be a full time parent until March 2014 or until UC rolls out here, whichever is first. Sign an agreement stating when I can feasibly be expected to work. Sign an agreement waiving my data protection rights and requiring me to hand over personal details to anyone with a name and postcode who calls themself an employer. Spend hours a week having my usage monitored on a broken and insecure jobmatching website while Stormageddon does her own thing. Be put onto the work programme. Hope and pray that Stormageddon never gets sick, because if I miss an appointment I will lose my benefits for thirteen weeks. If she gets ill resulting in three missed appointments I lose them for three years. Be required to work unpaid for a large corporation, gaining experience in shelf stacking and floor sweeping, while Stormageddon stays home alone because there's no one to look after her. If I object, I will lose my benefits for failing to engage with the programme. When this inevitably happens, I suppose I'll have to find a suitably profitable criminal activity that can be undertaken with a small child in tow.

In brighter news, my parents are driving home from my sister's today, so I shall have to wander round there at some point soon and check out the pram, cot, stair gate, and assorted two year old clothes they've sent. Funtimes!

Stormy that sounds like a lot of administrative hassle but also like a lot of support to help secure employment. Hope it works out for you - remember there are really great childcare options out there that are worth exploring to support your return to work.

We just picked up our new car and it is awesome! Need to get used to it a bit - feel off to have a 'gown up' car rather than our old banker that we abused for so many years! It felt funny driving home, imagining a little one tucked into the back seat in the near future.

Hope everyone has a great weekend and is feeling good as we steam ahead to the third trimester!

We may have to disagree on what it sounds like, Rainbow. How will I pay for these really great childcare options when my benefits are sanctioned for three years and I'm required to feed and clothe myself and my child on a forty pound a week government loan? And they will be sanctioned. As Tramp said upthread (though I don't entirely agree) it's about cuts, and the easy way to cut the benefits bill is to cut off people's benefits, even though there aren't jobs available for them. Whether I personally manage to find a job or not, the precariousness of the whole set-up scares me.

I think I might spend the weekend sticking my head in the sand and sorting out the accumulated junk under the bed in preparation for packing.

Hiya everyone! Apologies for a me post but am having a somewhat testing morning! Shopping trip to b&q with ds. Packed in car, sat at traffic lights outside the village for 14 minutes because the numpty at the front of the queue didn't realise they were broken and weren't going to go green! Ds was screaming and I was beginning to loose hope of ever moving, eventually did, thank god! So nearer b&q my phone rings and for some reason I picked it up.. Never would normally but it was my mum so I just said that I was driving and would call her back later, hung up and then three seconds later I was pulled over by the police for being on my phone! I can't complain, I was breaking the law, fair and square, but I am completely kicking myself!! £60 would have bought someone a lovely Christmas present! Now I'm back home and trying to cook lunch but my chopping board has absconded and half my hob appears to be broken! Might have to go for a lie down and start the day again!!

Hope everyone else is having better days!

Hi all just popping by just joined this thread a bit ago and already struggling to keep up just trying to get to know you all.

I am due 17th already have a toddler.

Childcare is a nightmare so expensive we are lucky I pay my mum 2 days a week and am lucky I can work part time will continue this with baby 2 but it does put pressure in my DH in fact this week is the first full week my DH will have with DS who is now 22 months!

Anyone in here have low lying placenta? We found I have completely covering uv and after a hospital stay last week have been ordered to take it easy I am hopeful it will move or will need c section

I am still trying to catch up so please bear with me as I get used to names and stories I hope I can help in anyway and provide support I found these threads do helpful when pregnant with DS x x

Hi emsyboo don't worry about getting to know everyone, we're so talkative it can be difficult to keep up with names and stories, even for me who can pop in every day! Hope your placenta moves up soon, must be worrying for you x

Em what a horrible day! You deserve a nice and hopefully things will have improved when you get back to them.

Excellent idea re second hand lamp for DH's SAD, not sure why I hadn't thought of it as I'm eBay queen normally! I'm going to be selling some stuff (my maternity cocktail dress, gold maternity cardigan and my triathlon wetsuit if anyone is interested?!) so that should raise enough to get something good.

Speaking of bargains, I went to another NCT sale this morning, took DH and bf (their first one!) and they were really impressed with the bargains. I took a list of things we still want to get, I got sleepsuits, socks, Moses basket bedding, cellular blanket and best of all, DH wanted a baby bjorn active baby carrier with back support but they're about £70 new and £50 on eBay. I found one at the NCT sale, brand new for £35! DH was so impressed because it was buried under loads of rubbish but I spied it and swept in like a ninja

manda so pleased people are helping you when you're out and about, not counting stupid taxi drivers of course. I think I'm still too small a bump for people to realise I'm not just fat, I stood waiting for my friend outside some changing rooms today and the men sitting in the nice comfy chairs either kept playing on their phones or looked at me nervously like they couldn't work out whether to offer their seat to me!

Stormy I had no idea how difficult things were on benefits, I mean, I knew it was difficult as my dad was on benefits and I know my parents struggled, and my SIL is on incapacity and she had her first DD last year but I never really talk specifics with her. I'm not sure how she manages to keep as positive as she does thinking about it, I hope something happens that improves your situation.

I'm 24 weeks on Tuesday and really looking forward to that milestone, my bump is feeling very tight and I'm sure BabyBoo is tall as I can feel her both sides of my bump when she's kicking and thumping me! I had a dream about her last night, she kept doing massive poos and making the funniest straining faces when she did them! She was ever so squidgy and lovely in my dream even with the poo face!

Laughing helplessly at Rainbow abusing her old banker...............!! Stay tuned later as I message you all looking for answers at the pub quiz tonight!!

Total bummer ref mobile fine, eek!

Hey Stormy, forgive me if you have posted previously ref same, but in a "Im sorry to be nosey but interested to know to be able to comment effectively way", how did it come about that you are finding yourself in your current situation? doesn't sound great for you/family , and knowing a bit here may help in finding supportive solutions/pathways? You can of course tell me to go play with my head and sorry if it's too much over stepping the line

Hermione - oh, the poo faces! I remember them well from when my nieces were tiny. Always a good source of entertainment, which goes some way to making up for the clean-up operation.

Chefette - quite alright to be nosey, although you'll have to forgive me for not usually wanting to go into too much detail about my finances on here. Lengthy explanation coming up though.

I graduated into the middle of a recession, with mental health problems that needed sorting before I could realistically seek work. So I signed on, was advised by the benefits office and by my doctor to apply for ESA given my circumstances, and was found fit for work because I'm not actually dead yet. I live in Hull, where unemployment's always been high compared to the rest of the country. The sheer number of people going after every job available, combined with the ongoing mental health issues and my lack of work experience, means I'm very unlikely to find full time work at the moment.

I currently get JSA and housing benefit, which covers my rent and bills. Daily expenses are met by the man, and unforeseen expenses are covered by long-term loans from family members. At 29 weeks pregnant, I'll be eligible to switch to income support rather than jobseekers, and when the baby's born my housing benefit will increase (though still won't quite cover rent) and I'll get child tax credits. When the baby goes off to school aged five, I can get part time work during school hours and have that meagre wage topped up by benefits. Things will be tight, but manageable.

The bit that scares me is how things change under universal credit. All my benefits will be rolled into one, so losing one for any reason, even temporarily, means losing all of them. I'll be expected to look for work when the baby turns one, rather than five. There is simply no way, in this economic climate, that I can find a job that will keep a roof over our heads, food on the table, and childcare paid for, so I will have to continue signing on to top up whatever I can earn. And then it's the work programme, and potentially being obliged to provide Tesco with free labour at the taxpayer's expense, and facing up to three years without any benefits whatsoever if I so much as turn up late for an appointment. If I work part time, under universal credit I could be required to give up my job in order to attend workfare, or in order to take up a temporary position with better hours, and if I refuse I lose my benefits.

Unfortunately I'm not sure there are all that many supportive solutions available right now. The benefits system is a mess and the government seems determined to make it worse, if not dismantle it completely.

Stomry Don't really know what to say, but would feel rude ignoring your posts! Life on low wages is tough (and no wages even more so of course). How people manage to afoard child care on anything but at least middle management type wages is a mystery! Not a lot you can really do now whilst pregnant. Hopefully you'll manage to find something once the little one has arrived has got big enough. Here's hoping at least!

Em what a monstrous morning. Hope your day improved from then on.

DS has one bright red hot cheak all of a sudden so I'm assuming he's getting a new tooth. Hoping that explaines the awful poo of this morning. Fortunately have had no more so far. Shell Yup, still MS, not a bug. It's load better than it was though. It's managable now, I'm not sick much and the nausea is mostly just an hour or so in the morning (so long as I keep up with eating at least about every hour - I will be the size of a house soon no doubt ). Still don't reckon I'll manage to GTT which I have on Friday though. Fasting from mid night then drinking a big drink (drinking is still far harder than eating for me with the MS) on an empty stomach and still not eating. NOT going to happen without being sick, which then makes results useless. Think I will just have to refuse it.

Hope everyone has nice evenings. I have another one to myself as DH not due back till late. Planning on trying to get DS to bed early after a late night last night and then watch bad telly or read before nice early night. Have actually managed a bit of washing and cleaning and some sorting, and even packed a box today. Even though it's all been fairly minimal I think I'm excused from doing any more

stormy i'm that the new universal credit considers you a job seeker after one year, that's appauling! Who do they expect is going to look after your children? :( Gosh, I didn't realise that they would be so stupid and harmful towards parents with such young children (as well as all other reasons different people will fall through the gaps.)

three have you seen the only one disabled person per household thing?

Stormy that sounds very tough, I am so unimpressed with the ways this apparently 'simple' system is putting layers of complexity onto everything!

Flowery so much sympathy for your continued MS and poorly DS!

I'm struggling a bit today. Supposed to be out for a meal with girlfriends tonight but even a quick walk into town was completely exhausting. So tired again and to be honest I am wondering how I am going to cope with the next few months at work. Also feeling very guilty as DH is doing so much round the house - I feel useless!