March 2013 VIII: feeling kicks, comparing knits and halfway there

[theTramp]

Old thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1588951-March-2013-VII-Our-little-pumpkins-are-getting-fatter?msgid=35174657#thread

Yay for big movements Ood!

We're at home today too zoey. Mixture of dd's hand foot and mouth and me feeling body weary. Have learned to read the warning signs, plus also have a dh who insists that I rest!

Em its so hard trying to be under the weather around a toddler, total sympathies, hope you feel better soon too. Will he take a nap at all?

backward love the vest pic!! Think tea 'art' adds character

Tramp with baby prep, I think I posted a similar message when I was first having dd as others on the thread I was on seemed to be so far ahead of me. We just did it at a different pace. Also think that we rented dd's room out up until 2 months before she was born. Jan sales seem a great bet to me. If you get too big and tired to shop later on then there is always online (or other people) to help you out. Also found that people offered me lovely things later in the day which if I'd been fully stocked I would have had to turn down!

PS Ood glad you are feeling better today, and also really glad your DH felt baby! I keep trying to catch that for DH but little monkey always goes quiet as soon as he puts his hand on my belly!

Hi all

Quick update, yes after 26 hours a 6lb 2oz baby girl arrived! Was a bit touch and go later in the evening as there was no dilation beyond 7cm for 5 hours, so she was transferred from birth centre to hospital, but on arrival was fully dilated and ready to push. 2 hours later the baby made an appearance. So a bit drawn out, but all good in the end and she is already smitten with her bundle of joy!
X

ethel you scared me for a minute then. I thought you'd just had a 6lbs baby girl! Phew thought it was a bit big for our gestation!!!

Would someone mind telling my bump to shift over a little? Three days now he's been in an awkward position where I feel winded every time I move! I can't even put my own socks on without needing a 10 minute recovery period!

How do I feel more tired today doing nothing than when I go to work and don't stop all day!! Went to doctors and have 2 more lots of tablets and some cream don't ask so def using my free maternity prescriptions at mo,lol!
Mum texted to say she bought baby a teddy and DH got a bit upset as he wanted to buy his first teddy so have agreed he can buy one and that will be our hospital/special care one for little man which cheered him up!
DH finally stopped and thought about work today and said he don't want or think I will be able after Christmas and either need to work from home in bed or boss has to sort cover- bringing him to doctors was a good things as I think it made him realise things more!
Me and DS2 just had a nap he was down for 4 hours and I had a lovely bath too- however did get in still wearing my knickers and socks and it took me about a min to realise what was wrong

Hope everyone is having a lovely Tuesday. Lovely day out with a big group of mums and babies. Tired now. Think I am getting a slight touch of spd which is a pain and painful. Grrrrr!

Anyone seen nice black skinny maternity jeans? Dying for a nice pair and bloody topshop shops don't post them.

Are many of you SAHMs or your friends? I am for a brief period until father ds2 and have to say it is hard but am fascinated by the number I have come across. I would have thought in Current Irish economy more mums would work but seemingly not.

Dinner on baby playing time for a quick tidy I think.

Oc x

october I am a sahm. We moved when Dd was 4 months old so I didn't have a job to go back to, then didn't look for one. Financially it doesn't make that much difference to us as DP earns more than I do. Once you factor in childcare, the cost of running a second car, takeaways etc it doesn't make much difference to us. A lot of my friends who went back to work after their first have taken career breaks since having seconds. Hoping to do a pgce when my children are at school, although these days I realise that is no guarantee of a job.

Where in Ireland are you? My DP is a kerryman.

Finally I got some nice skinny mat jeans from New Look. They are the super soft ones, half the price of Topshop ones and don't fade as much!

But to clarify, we live in England even though he is Irish. Know economy much worse there.

OC I have some skinni-ish jeans from mamas and papas though I got them from eBay so worth a look.

I plan to go back full time, but considering trying for number two before returning so close age gap and then not returning after number two. It is either that of have a 4-5 year gap to save on having two lots of nursery fees. I just don't know that I will have a career if I stop and money will be tight. Also not sure being SAHM would suit me, I bore easily and need stimulation. It all seems so complicated.

sundae if you did the sham thing would you look into distance learning to keep your brain functioning and stimulated? I thought about it but I really need to get back to Uni and complete my degree. Then if it takes me too long to find a job I'd think about doing another course.

I already have 2 degrees and lots of A Levels. So more likely to pick up shifts as a radiographer at the local private hospital I think. If being a SAHM with children at school I would have to do something, so maybe OU then, but with a toddler I fear I would end up doing it in the evenings which I would resent I think.

Place marking again, had another crazy day with no time to sit down & my back is killing me! Feeling v out of touch! Spent this morning at the emergency docs after slicing my finger open on a shard of glass. It's been steri stripped and dressed and I have been told not to get it wet for 5 days! As if that will be possible with three children!

Hope everyone is ok. We have our baby bond 4d scan on Saturday morning which I am very excited about. Going to take the two older boys so they can see the baby. Ds2 is v excited but ds1 much less so!

Will definitely try & catch up tomorrow

Ouch pink

Really admire anyone who choses to be stay at home parent - to me it seems like the harder option! What I never agree with though is people who say that they don't go back to work because what they would earn is equivalent to childcare costs - I just don't understand why couples don't see this as a shared cost. If its a shared cost then it comes out of both wages and not just the lower earner, in which case it doesn't seem to me like a good reason not to go back to work, unless you have other reasons such as actually wanting to be a stay at home parent. Personally I don't think I could do it, unless maybe I could also keep my cleaner! Even then I think I would end up studying, volunteering and filling my time with other things and end up using a fair bit of childcare. Not going to happen in any case as I am the higher earner so wouldn't make economic sense.

On another note, we bought a new car today - we settled on a Renault Megane. It is automatic which I am very excited about as I always secretly wanted one and I think one less distraction when driving is going to be great especially when there is a little person wanting my attention in the back as well! Never driven an automatic before so will take some getting used too but absolutely loved it during the test drive today. Thank you for everyone who offered advice on car choices.

Hope everyone is feeling great in this second trimester! Everyday I feel so lucky to be pregnant and everything going well at the moment. Hope it continues for us all!

I'd love to stay at home but only until they are at school. I've always worked but had a long spell off pre/ with dd3 and enjoyed it !

Rainbow - I've a friend who's considering not going back to work when her maternity leave is up, because what she'd earn in a day is the same as she'd have to pay in childcare costs. She and her partner share finances, but it means effectively they would both be working all day yet only one of them would get paid. So the family finances are equally buggered either way, it's just a question of whether she looks after the children herself, or sits in an office all day while someone else looks after them. When put like that, I can't quite see why anyone would prefer to work, although each to their own, of course.

Did anyone see that programme about poverty and health services for pregnant women on the BBC yesterday?

No what was that? Or when?

Wouldn't recommend it if you're squeamish, it's quite graphic and a bit harrowing, but interesting nonetheless. It's on iplayer at the moment, called Why Poverty?

stormy there are lots of reasons why many would want to work in that situation rather than be a stay at home parent - to sat that you can see why anyone would prefer to work in that scenario is to dismiss the needs of a huge number of people who actually want to work or alternatively want to be a fulltime carer. As I said, if you actually want to be a stay home parent and are motivated by that because you want to take on the role of fulltime carer then I totally understand that choice. What I don't understand is why people automatically assume that its a good enough reason alone not to go back to work just because childcare costs are what they would earn (and not consider it a shared cost of the total family finances). I really dislike the assumption that you should prefer the choice of staying home in that situation. Unfortunately many women find themselves in this situation and feel pressure to stay home because of this even if they would actually prefer to go back to work fulltime. This is not to stay I do not support the choice of anyone, male or female to actually want to be a fulltime carer.

Apologies for all the typos - getting used to a new laptop with a weird keyboard!

Stormy that's the situation we are in. I absolutely see childcare costs as paid for half and half, but you also have to see family income as a whole. The thing is families just muddle along and everyone just does what suits them, there is no right or wrong way. Dreading Xmas because FIL likes to rant about how SIL who works full time would be better off as a SAHM like me. It is hideous especially because I know if I had had an interesting civil service job with lots of flexi time like her I would have gone back in a flash too.

That said I am really enjoying my DD's company at the moment. We do lots of laborious cooking like making bread and pizza from scratch. It only took me one month of an MSc to realise I don't miss intellectual stimulation that much ;).

Rainbow I was swooning over my friend's Megane earlier. They are a great family car and she has a bright blue one which is so cool.

Tramp when I had my first my mother went on and on about how newborns don't need much and could sleep in a drawer if they had to. She drove me crazy, but she was right. You sound like you have the research nailed and in a way it's better to sort of buy as you go when you have a better idea of what you need. It's also worth waiting for a Boots baby event. They do 3 for 2 on everything, if you are clever you can bundle similar price items together like buggy, carseat, Moses basket or thermometer, steriliser, monitor etc.

zoey I feel a bit like that about my midwife. Haven't seen her since 16 weeks and won't til 28. Feel a bit neglected really.

Congrats for new car Rainbow. I used to drive an automatic, definitely easier when you're in traffic at any point.
Think you're right that people hardly ever think of childcare-payer as both salaries. I think it is very old fashioned to just consider it as the woman's pay! I do think though that its going to be a while before there are an equal number of men who would prefer to stay at home, the man as the 'provider' is so engrained, not least with my dh! I luckily have quite a nice childcare arrangement but if I was paying full whack nursery fees we would be worse off as a family than if I was at home.

We may well be worse off if I go back after 6 months with this one with two under 3's to find care for. I'm reserving my decision to see what job i'm offered by work when my mat leave is over. I'm only going to go back if its something i'm going to like, otherwise i'm going to stay at home with babies and maybe do some more volunteering alongside.

Yay for your friend's safe delivery Ethel Ouch for 26 hour labour though!

Zoey demonstrating the sustainable lifestyle approach to washing underwear!