May 2013 Third Thread.

[SecretCervix]

Sorry for the not very imaginative title. Noticed old thread was full and couldn't find a new one.

Sorry for a quick angry post. 11 weeks today DH is being an arse (excuse my French) he's just said (when I was being excited I'm nearly at 12 weeks) that he's not gonna think about it till scan as he can't tell anyone so what's the point! I said well I might need a bit of support or anything even from him, reassurance that we're nearly there. He said tell me what you want me to say and I'll say it. Thanks DH but don't bother. now he's gone off in a mood, it's obviously my fault. Aaarrrggghhhhhh

elly I'm so sad to hear off out your percious DD, I an see why you would feel anxious about this pregnancy.

seasalt Gosh that must be difficult. I'm regretting moving too now I'm pregnant but I only moved 50miles and it's closer to my family! But I loved the villiage I was in before and all the groups, support and facilities it has that would benefit a stay at home mum.
At least when your looking for a new home in the UK you can do it in mind of looking for a family home.

secret I've not personal experience from tearing but agree with Wild, I'm not sure I'd agree to an Epistomy unless they were concerns during labour.
I would ask what evidence they have that an Epistomy would prevent it from happening again? Amd also look up to see if doing the Epistomy will cause it to tear again.

I'm quite nervous got my midwife appointment later and I have no idea what to expect. I don't really like medic and medical settings.
Doesn't helps I've been up since 4am thinking about it.

mnw I'd be cross about that too. I know men don't always quie get pregnacy and bond with the baby before birth but there is no need to be unsupportive or to dampen your excitement.

9+2

Thanks little really really fed up with him

Hello bood and seasalt and welcome to the thread. Can't believe how much we're filling up now, how lovely.

Hope you can find a support group where you are seasalt. Usually ex-pat communities have good social set-ups (my in-laws used to live/work out in Hong Kong and Singapore). I don't suppose you can inform a manager in your new job of your pregnancy, and get at least some understanding that way? Hope it works out.

Elly my heart goes out to you - how devastating. How wonderful to be pregnant again, though. Take good care.

I am on a train this morning across country for work. There is a businessman sat opposite whose blue shirt is soaked with sweat. All I can smell is his body odour. Can't believe he is non-plussed - it's disgusting! Help! I may have to move...

Hi sea salt - that's really tough but the time will fly and you have lots to look forward to.
Hi Seven77, my DSs are 4 & 2.. Ahh scary when I write it down and think of another coming by the time they are 5 & 3 !! I've told various friends around me so I can lean on them for help when I need to go to appointments or too sick to bring kids to school/ per school. Terrified about telling in laws as they are dealing with cancer & will not approve of our situation - another baby in a tiny house! My folks come over from Ireland just after my scan next week so ill tell them then. I'm one of 9 so they don't have a leg to stand on if they think we're crazy

beaver Yuck! I commute mostly on trains, I swear some mornings I can smell every single persons breath, not enough people brush their teeth!
I would move if I were you.

MS now seems to be happening in the morning too, oh what joy.

Morning all. I have been more of a reader than a poster on this thread, but is lovely to see how everyone getting on. I am afraid I will have to leave you to it, as we have had bad news Fingers crossed for all of you for happy and healthy pregnancies. X p.s could someone pls remove me from the stats whereever they have disappeared to? (I was Ibelieveinpink before :) )

I believe I'm so sorry to hear you news. I will track down the stats thread and remove you from the list.

Ibelieve, I'm so sorry to hear your news , take care xx

Thanks for the support everyone - I am absolutely terrified that something is going to go wrong again - scan is a week today, and I'm bricking it that it will show a MMC or something.

Seasalt, what a stressful time for you - maybe you will meet some people through your new job, or find an ex-pat community nearby as beaver said.

Hope your appointment goes ok littlebairn, it's mainly just loads and loads of questions and paperwork, and chatting, then a blood pressure check, weight and blood samples, but those bits are really quick.

How is everyone else doing?

Well had my appointment, apparently it wasnt my booking in thats going to be in 2 weeks time.
Anyway I learned a few interesting facts I will get both scans, apparently it's very divided in the region most don't do them but this clinic/area does now do them.
That was the good news the bad news is that she was kind enough to give me the heads up ( she's leaving in a few weeks) that 'they' will be very against a HB for a first timer because I'm 'untested' well bring it on I now my rights and am unlikely to back down.
Oddly she was horrified my DH wasn't going to be at the birth made it clear if he was not supportive (he is massively so) of it they would also be against it for that reason too. really a woman needs her husbands permission in this day and age?!
Got the impression my BMI is going to be used against me too it's 34.

Why isn't your dh going to be at the birth littlebairn, if you don't mind me asking?

littleb 'they will be very against HB!' Gggrrr that annoys me. I understand now why you need a pitbull of a Doula. Stick to your guns! Thankfully my mw is ok about HB and does a lot, I'm just not warming to her very much - trying to keep level-headed about it, she's very competent and I fully trust her to deliver and get me through, which is presumeably the most important thing, just thought she'd be a bit friendlier. Basically I wanted Chummie from Call The Midwife!

IBelieve so sorry to hear your news, do take care x

Secret I had bad tearing with DD as well. I have heard loads of time that it is better the second time, although I don't know how happy I would be with an episiotomy unless absolutely necessary, I have heard a few times that they can actually case worse tearing? But all my second time round friends said the babies popped out with much less trauma!

I have had a few issues around the birth of my DD (tearing just one small part to be honest) and I have already been booked to see a consultant midwife to discuss whether an ELCS will be possible. The fact they have mentioned it to you makes me feel a bit more hopeful I may get one. If you don't want one I am sure they won't force it. I feel really strongly that (within reason and safety) women should be able to choose the birth method they feel most comfortable with and shouldn't be pressured or forced to do it a different way. If this had happened during my first birth perhaps I wouldn't have such a godawful fear of natural labour this time (one of the many mistakes along the way was having in capitals in my birth plan 'NO PETHADINE' only to be offered it when I was left on my own in labour, bleeding heavily and was told it would really help (not really in any state of mind to argue with a professional). it certainly didn't help).

I hope you are listened to as well littlebairn, I don't see why a first time birth should really be any different, surely if there are any major problems they will pick them up beforehand. I know someone who had home births for both her children and they sound like really lovely experiences

panda he's very very phobic about birth, it terrifies him. I also think his autism means he worried about the emotional side of birth and having no control of the situation.
We've always had the agreement that he he wouldn't attend the birth, I don't want him to be traumatised and I imagine it would be very stressful having him around. He is very supportive of homebirth and really like the idea of us all being together at home soon after the birth.

pickle I'm looking/emailing doulas right now. Wondering if I should put only pit bulls need reply?!
I'd love to have Chummie at my HB!

I realised HB was going to be an issue when I got the figure back that only 1 or 2 happen a year in this community!
Oh and another reason why I should have a hospital birth 'they have two birthing pools at the hospital...' well I only need one and I will have a guaranteed one at home.

It's not so much what the midwife though herself, I go the impression that she supported HB ( just not for the first time mother) but they are against it as a whole in the region.

littlepickle I don't get it either, woman can have extremely different birth experience during each pregnacy.

Has anyone else with a BMI over 30 been told they should take a higher dose of folic acid?

Forgot to add I did ask why about the folic acid and was told "well cause your bigger..."

picklep on the case of not warming to a midwife, I did for a second imagine her leaning over the birth pool shining a torch up my fanjo while I bellowed like a distressed bovine. I didn't really like the idea of her being the midwife that attended, luckly she's moving out the region. TBF I can't really see me wanting anyone there at that moment...

ibelieve so sorry to hear your news, wishing you lots of luck for bext time.

I have a BMI of 33 (put on 4 stone when pg last time/after the birth & have only lost 1 of them before I got pg again this time), but she didn't say anything about taking a higher dose of folic acid. Apparently you only need to take folic acid for the first 12 weeks, so a lot of the time, by the time you see your MW, you have missed a lot of the crucial time anyway.

elly yeah she mentioned only needing to take it for another 3 weeks hence why I think it would be a waste of time espically as no one can give me a reason for it. Without a reason there is little chance of me going and getting the prescription.

littlebairn OMG. Am glad you are being strong; it is absolutely your right to have a HB and WTF about your husband needing to be supportive?! Grrrrr on your behalf! I read that only 2% of all births in the UK are at home! crackers!

I had my booking in and was wonderful. they were really sympathetic about my mc's (rather than dismissive like the clinical peeps have been so far) and just very nice instead of super admin-y and patronising as I thought they might be. were really surprised am going for a hosp birth rather than HB as they are really pro HB up here but I didn't want to tell them I can't bear going to the hospital linked to HBs for my scans etc as that is were I mc'ed. So will stick pretending I want a hospital birth till after 20 weeks then change. You have a right to change your mind about where you want your baby at any time in pg, even in labour!

we also got all the vits we will need for the whole pregnancy - I didn't know about this?! Will save us a fortune in pregnacare (and they are smaller )

ibelieve am so so sorry to hear your news. x

wild sneaky I like it! I can understand your hospital issue oddly if I go for my preferred city hospital then I was told I couldn't have a HB because I'd be outside their 'zone' or some other rubbish.
So I agreed to be seen at local hospital but made it clear if any medical issue present meaning I need a hospital birth I will change over.

She did put 'keen on HB' on top of my notes. She can write what she likes, I'm having a HB the NHS can decide if they want to be there or not either way I'll be staying at home.

The only thing she tried to presurise me about was the vaccinations, which I've decide not to have.

So sorry to hear your news IBelieve. Hope you're being looked after. Take care x

Sorry to hear your sad news IBelieve, good luck and stay strong.