March 2013 Mk V: Lumpy bumpy witty knitters (patiently) await the bloom!

[Chefette]

New one marchers sorry on phone and can't link! Will post title in our old thread x

www.seraphine.com/coatigan.html coatigan! I also got 20% off as they are doing 20% off new season and I bought a shift dress, but that gave me 20% off this too :o)

As I am unlikely to get wet I think this will do for me for a coat for winter and I can steal waterproof off OH.

Also shel, babies take what they need from you. So even if you do have ridges in your nails from a vitamin deficiency, the baby will be fine.

Remember that women in third world countries with very little access to proper nutrition have babies all the time. Try to relax!

Sarah hope you have a relaxing and reflective day thinking about your Mum. She'd be so thrilled for you. Hope you have nice things planned for your birthday tomorrow.

Great idea for clothes, Rainbow - v. cost effective.

Have a wonderful weekend, Lanny!

Enjoy your last day Ethel. Sounds like a lovely holiday!

Oh, quick q: do you get childcare vouchers per child? So would me and DH get twice as many from our employers because it's twins?

Tramp wow, Socs is growing nicely! Really hope I get to see babies when I have my cervix scan in two weeks.

I'm full of the usual terrors. Last night I panicked because it's really hurting low down in my uterus and cervix throbbing a bit. Because that's where MW found baby 1's heartbeat I was worried that he was trying to get out too early! But aches and pains aren't so bad today, no sign of MC, and so I'm trying just to chill out. I am taking heart from the fact that I've grown a huge amount in last two weeks. My belly's bloody massive!

Pink thanks for the link to the Norland probationers - brilliant!

Zoey sounds like you lucked out with that nursery!

Shel are you taking your preggo vitamins? Have you had a full blood count recently? I'd suggest going to docs and explaining you are concerned about diet and feeling lacking in energy (regardless of how you actually are feeling) and could you have a full blood count done, please? This ought to reassure you about your vitamin levels. I love results of medical tests as it keeps my tendency for mild hypochondria nicely in check so it may also help to quell your hugely understandable anxiety? It's a pity the counselling didn't happen. Could you get yourself some on the NHS now? You can usually get 6 sessions very easily for free: say to doc that xyz concerns are really impacting on the rest of your life and there should be no question. Also, would something like mindfulness meditation help (I know I keep mentioning this as the solution to everything but it really helped me feel in control during terrifying situations!) I like Zoey's focus on different baby, different pregnancy, especially now we're all past the 12-week landmark. Be good if you could get rid of some of those anxious feelings.

sundae am sorely tempted by coatigan myself!!

Oh woe, I woke with a cracker of a headache this morning. Sent DH off with his butties and lazed in bed with R4 in the hope that I just needed more rest. Alas not. Have now taken 2nd paracetamol of the day which I don't feel too good about but hopefully it will clear it. Not yet had my morning coffee for fear it will escalate headache. Really need to spend a day on my book today after 4 days on other work projects. Had a good kick up the proverbial from my old PhD supervisor yesterday who also happens to be the editor of the series in which my book will appear. I think I'm frustrated about not having the time to say everything I know I could and she reminded me about our plans for my 'retirement' book - the one which will encompass everything I've been dabbling in over the years - that makes it seem easier to let go of this one. right, better get on with it, then!

Morning ladies, thank you all for yesterday's messages... think I was just having a rubbish day made worse by the genuine stupidity of some people. I finally calmed down when I realised I spoke to the same woman who couldn't spell antenatal - despite working in the antenatal clinic. I called again this morning (repeatedly) and after 5 attempts finally got through to a secretary who is chasing down the consultant in order to try and get some answers for me... with no tears!! I'm so proud of me right now!! Should have a call back today, if not from the consultant than from the secretary.

sheld re: ridges on nails... I've always had ridges on my nails - right hand only. My ring and pinky fingers are worse affected but it can just be a normal thing. I had read vit deficiency is a cause too but if you're taking vits and eating as well as possible you should have no cause for concern. There must be some form of 'expectant parent' helpline you could ring for reassurance over such things though. Might be worth looking into.

zoey I'm interested to know if your surgery posed any risks to the baby or if you're getting any additional monitoring as a result of it?

Manda vouchers are limited - as far as I remember it's up to a certain amount of money per year that you can claim pre-tax, rather than how many children you have.

By the way, Busy Bees were utterly appalling when I used to do childcare vouchers. I couldn't un-reccommend them enough! Shoddy, late payments, over complicated, left hand never knew what right hand was doing. My employer eventually dumped them and went with a different scheme because they were so appalling.

Shel - you don't sound ridiculous. You sound like someone who is stressing herself out, which isn't good for you and isn't good for baby BUT it is perfectly understandable, even without realising that you had a MC in May. Be nice to yourself. And if being nice to yourself means a bit of counselling, go do that. And if it means pouring your heart out into a diary, do that. And if it means a weekly session of insane word vomit whilst your OH looks at you like you are a crazy person do that. Whatever you do don't bottle it up and do whatever you need to do to remain as sane as you can. You know why you're worrying. You just need to apply a filter so that you don't end up so stressed that - to quote Ferris Bueller - you could shove a limp of coal up your arse and it would come out a diamond. :)
Seriously my dear, be nicer to yourself.

JoJo - pleased to hear life feels a bit better today and that you appear to have found someone helpful. At last!

Sarah - that's interesting feedback on busybees. I picked them because their website had more info on it, but kidsunlimited have quite a good scheme. And yes, as noted, it's a set amount per annum rather than an amount per child.

Mand - poor you and your headache. Are you drinking lots of water? And can you maybe fall back to sleep and then perhaps wake up just feeling better?

Tramp they honestly gave me the most stressful time ever. I spent hours on the phone trying to rectify stuff. Basically teh whole system is daft - your employer sends them a chit each month detailing your salary sacrifice. THey then supposedly issue a voucher into a special account which you access and set up payment to your nursery, or whatever. Every bloody month I would go into the account and the voucher wouldn't be there. Then my nursery would get eggy with me and threaten not to allow DS in, and I would spend hours (they never answered the phone) hanging on the line trying to sort it out. Every month, without fail. They even restructured halfway through my time with them to 'improve' and made it even worse. The day I didn't need vouchers any more was one of the best ever!

Sarah - well no matter what the scheme you use it requires employers to approve things and then you either get stuff paid into an account, or you get a chit and you cash it in. But that is far from being as smooth as it should be. It isn't complicated, although it is more complex than it could be - shock horror when HMRC are in any way involved. Honestly get in touch with kidsunlimited next time, hopefully they're better.

Cheers Sarah for the voucher info+advice. My employer uses care-4 - anyone had experience of them? Not sure about DH's employer.

Crikey, my late-night chat with DH the other day about cost of childcare has really got him thinking. He just phoned me to say he's been reworking his CV this morning (hmm, at work?!), researching a company close-by to where we live, and is going to be looking for a new job with a pay-rise! I've been suggesting these things for two years since he moved to Oxford! I am seriously impressed with his new found get-up-and-go!

Tramp you're right - I've (unusually) not had a single pint of cordial this morning! What a plonker I am!

JoJo glad to hear you and that secretary are on the case!

Just a quick post, my DD actually goes to a busy bees nursery, which is brill, but our vouchers actually come from different providers. We both (DH and I) draw down the max each month which is £243 (I think). Off swimming now!

Jojo a general does have a slight risk with it and they really dont like doing it in first trimester because of this as there is no way of saying if a MC was going to happen anyway or if its because of GA and of course they cant test this! Consultant told me that after 24/48 hours near enough any trace has left your body and if baby if fine by them then there is no need for extra monitoring. I have extra monitoring nothing to do with having a GA purely to measure cervix and see how stitch is holding out - so I think within 48 hours of GA everything is fine and baby has forgotten it happened so to speak!!
Glad your finally getting somewhere fx crossed its all sorted!

Sheld - I agree with everyone who has said you should do whatever you can to find things to help you get through the anxiety. After my stillbirth earlier this year I will be worrying every single second until I hold a living little one because for me there is no 'safe' number of weeks after which I know I can relax - even the age of viability means nothing to me. However I have found that doing new and relaxing activities to fill my time really helps get through the days. I personally don't believe in the efficacy of counseling (for me that is) so instead I indulge myself with regular pregnancy massages, play the piano, knit, sew and am starting a ceramics course for a new challenge. I have found that it really is about keeping as busy as possible and being selfish about your time and needs - now is the time to put yourself first!

Thanks for all your comments. I feel a bit better this afternoon. I took myself into town for a bit of shopping and bought some big M&S pants :)
sarah I missed your post earlier about your mum. I'm sorry this is such a sad day and hope you are looking after yourself
manda I have had a full blood count done for my booking appointment and it looked fine. I ask about the counselling on monday I think. I will look into the mindfulness meditation too - thanks for the suggestion. Hope your headache is better.
Tramp That quote made me laugh :) Might have to dig that out and watch it now. My poor DH has been getting the word vomit daily lately - poor him!
Rainbow Thanks for your thoughts too. That is a good idea to play the piano. I used to do this a lot when I was doing my A levels and I found it very soothing. I haven't played much in ages but I think I will give it a go this weekend. I'm glad you are keeping busy and hope you are coping.

Ooh - about childcare vouchers. I can't remember where or when I read/heard this but it was something about claiming them as soon as possible as they have a very long expiry date. Not sure whether that means now or as soon as the baby is born but means you can save even more if you definitely plan to use childcare that accepts them. I will try to find out more.

Eeeeek surgery on Wednesday. Will be going into hospital at 7.30am but don't know what time they'll be slicing me open yet.
At least now I know I can start making plans and organising my life :)
Just wondering how people rate mothercare maternity jeans? My next ones are really bad and hanging off me though think that's because of the elasticated pockets/pouches.
I think some over the bump band ones may hold up better and I won't end up showing my builders arse!!

Glad you've got a date in the diary, JoJo. My H&M cords (with over the bump stretchy thing) are fantastic, though they've already started to cut in a bit where the 'waistline' is under the band ... worrying I'm growing out of them already...

Sheldon PM me if you want me to run off+post some CDs from my digital copies of my John Kabat-Zinn mindfulness stuff. I can't remember which series I got (I copied them from my counsellor's originals years ago) but prob one of these: www.mindfulnesstapes.com/

Rainbow I love ceramics! Did a lot of it when I lived in the States, but our plan to build a potting/pottery shed in the garden hasn't yet materialised (and now doubtful that it will!) I too love anything which involves my hands for a really deep sense of relaxation.

Shel - yes you can basically bank them up. So if you claim from birth, even though you're home nad on maternity leave so not using them, that is fine. HMRc know they can only be used for childcare of some kind so they're happy for parents to do that.

mand - well I hope your head is better now.

JoJo - a date in the diary - eek indeed - but a big relief once over I am guessing and definitely better than daily to's & fro's with numptys at the end of phone lines.

Shel - glad that made you laugh. I've just instructed MrM that we will be watching a jason statham movie this evening. Serious dumb fun. I really am getting away with murder right now :)

I'm quite looking forward to this evening as it's my birthday tomorrow and DS and DH are banning me from the kitchen while they make a cake - should be very entertaining as last year they forgot the eggs!

So that means an hour or two to myself sorting out maternity clothes upstairs. Which I'm rather bizarrely looking forward to....

ANd then having a fab brunch at the National Gallery cafe tomorrow morning with 10 friends - it really is an amazing menu. Cannot begin to decide what I'm having, I want everything!

Hi ladies, sorry I've pretty much missed at least a whole thread and a half! Things have just been so hectic. I hope you're all well. I'm 17 + 1 today and have a due date of 28th February now, down from 5th March. I've had a gender scan today in Leeds and they were great. Looks like I'm on team blue this time around :)

Ahhhh that sounds lovely sarah - just leave the eggs on the side so they cant forget :) DH always buys me one but homemade is SO much better! Plus the few hours to yourself sounds amazing!!
Glad you finally have a date Jojo and at least you know where you stand now and can get everything in place :)

My crotchet for beginners, needles and yarn arrived today so cant wait to get home and mess that up, lol!!

I have actually eaten so much rubbish today its really not good and am still blinking hungry hmmmmm!

ooooh congrats Eric on a baby boy - I find out Thursday so am VERY jealous of you x x x

Just marking my place really

I deal with nurserys at work so my advice is to look at as many as possible as they vary!

And mamas and papas mat jeans are good.