Due in October 2012 Part 6 - Third Trimester Trials and Tribulations

[YompingJo]

Shiny new thread!

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Go!

morning Nobbers!

Hope you have all slept well amongst a selection of pillows and haven't had to get up to wee more than ten thousand times xx

I hate being such an infrequent poster as I can never remember everything I want to say and I am always on my phone so am generally a bit rubbish. But I so love reading all your posts and love knowing that I am not alone through all of this.

Spending loads of time just me and DS which is lovely but exhausting so have LOVED having my DH home this weekend. Spent yesterday at my parents having a bbq and they were so lovely. They let me sit down the whole afternoon and just enjoy watching everyone else entertain DS with bubbles, paddling pool etc. And I even got on with my Christmas crafting! Very sad to be thinking of Christmas already but I go in for it big style and we are completely skint already since I am only part time, so I have been buying some gifts each month and am slowly making some others. I also have a big bag of expensive groceries like washing powder and shampoo stored for when I lose my wage completely. Am not sure how the heck we are going to make ends meet to be honest, but I am sure we will find a way. We have been sorting the 'messy room' now 'nursery' (hurrah!) and found loads of old bank statements from pre-wedding, DH redundancy and DS ans I can't believe how much money we used to have then! I tool so much for granted. But it just shows that a happy family isn't about money really, as we have such a lovely time doing all free things like walks along the river in our village and don't miss the pub lunches etc too much (she says....thinking longingly of a pub lunch!)

so added to my normal symptoms of heartburn, constipation, excessive weeing, repeated bouts of thrush, leg cramps, bump 'stitches' when I walk, carpal tunnel and aneamia, I occasionally now het painful leg cramps which feel like all the blood has gone out of my leg. Anyone else get this? Also, I have the most wriggly baby in the world. Now, I used to fret so so much with DS when he didn't move for a spell, so do I just need a slap? Or is a baby that seems to kick, move, stretch, vibrate fo long periods a cause for worry?

Loopy I had a low lying placenta last time-fingers crossed it will move for you. At least you get lots of extra scans which is great. I think, in relation to the grandparents that you will need to set down the rules here pretty early so that they don't get the wrong impression of how much involvement they can have. i have a friend with overbearing parents in law who bought a caravan in our village so that they could come up ALL THE TIME so she had to be really firm in saying when she was free to see them and that they mustn't just drop in etc. She managed not to burn bridges with them and now she is more eager to let them come round and play because he toddler is even more exhausting and demanding than mine! Don't know if that makes any sense or is relevant to you.

Am loving the name debates-what great choices yoy guys have. squid I love Jamie and Robert. Whoever said Michael-I think that is lovely. loopy yours are so nice. My Mum is Carol too, but I have never found a good first name to go with it but you have got it spot on. plank all of them are nice but I love Zach and don't think you should worry about two zed names. I need some advice on ours- I love William for a boy, but DH says that there will be millions of William's in his class. Is it too popular? And I love Zoe for a girl, but my SIL made a comment the other day about how we couldn't have Gus for a boy because we know someone called Gus. she doesn't know that our fave name is Zoe who is Gus's sister and godmother to DS! I just presumed she would be happy to be a namesake. What do you think? None of them live near us, we just visit a few times a year so it won't be a daily conflict of 'which Zoe?' is it a problem? I want to talk to my SIL about it, but DH keeps saying it is our choice and we don't need anyone else's approval. Thoughts?

mickey LOVE the bump idea! Def go Nirvana and put up a pic soon!

fjord so sorry you have more health stress and really hope that the test reults are good. Well done on coming to some resolution with your DP about parenting goals etc. Great that you guys are on the same page.

cwest so sorry about all your health issues. That must be unbearably worrying for you. I really hope your blood pressure stays down and that you get plenty of support and TLC at home.

Much love to everyone who is still working full time. I am starting to dread going back in September as the plan is for me to try and work until a week before my due date again. I managed it last time, but feel huge cumbersome and achey already and I am only 30 weeks. Eeek!

Also big love to all the movers/renovators out there. God that all sounds so stressful! I bet the 'nesting' thing is making it even harder for you all? I can't understand this urgency I feel to get the nursery decorated, but I guess it must be that instinct. We got all our baby STUFF in from the garage yesterday and I seriously can not believe how much we have! I had to take a few deep breaths looking at it all as it just seems so real now. Anyone else feeling a bit alarmed at how little time is left???

Bella age 29 dc2 30 weeks+3 EDD 18th July

livvy, u dont sound bratty at all. That is standard london haircut price. I think it really is big adjustment going from enjoying the lifestyle of having 2 disposable incomes to one, plus managing all the baby expenses. But bella's advice is reassuring :)

Ok I have mostly caught up, but today I thought I'd leaves some notes from NCT class, both to make them stick in my mind and to share...

1. You can give birth in your normal clothes - might have a bit more dignity :)

1. Pack a DH hospital bag too, he'll need a change eventually. Button up shirts are good because when babba is born the shirt can open for skin-to-skin contact.

1. It's good to give DH jobs. Looking after lighting is good - apparently a lot of women prefer to give birth in mood Lighting :)

1. Labor has an off switch - its adrenaline. Imagine you're a cave woman going into labour, and boom! There's a saber-tooth tiger. You need to run away, so, you get adrenaline and labor stops while you scarper. This is is one of the reasons why it's good to go into birth calm(er than not), and it's something DH needs to know - if he starts stressing out, he'll infect you, labor will slow down, and so on. DH needs to chill right out (so give him jobs).

1. Between one in three and one in four births in the uk ends in unplanned (they don't say 'emergency' any more) C section. Read up, it could happen to you.

1. Amazingly, it turns out there are good reasons to not have an epidural. I was not expecting that! (Our NCT lady was, predictably, oretty anti-drug but she answered all our questions.) You're totally paralysed below the waist, so you are definitely going to give birth on your back. On your back the pelvis has like 30% less space in it than upright, so it's harder to get the baby out. Plus you can't move around, which a lot of women apparently like to do, you're just kind of stuck in bed.

1. And you can't feel when it's time to push - you have to do it when the midwife says. Weird.

1. Epidurals slow labor right down, you'll most likely labor longer.

1. The uterus is the strongest muscle in the body! Go uterus!

10. It's the contractions that hurt, not the bits between - the bits between should be pretty much pain-free.

11. When you start going into labor, that's a good time to do some carbo-loading - pasta and toast ahoy! You'll need the energy :)

OK, that has to be enough for now... Have to say NCT class has been worth the money (but a seven hour session on a Saturday... Good lord, that was beyond exhausting!)

Thanks for those tips, Planktonette, particularly the one about DH in a button up shirt - great idea.

Bella, I'm dreading September also. Won't have a class but will be doing odd bits of teaching and just the thought of lugging myself up and down all those stairs is making me .

Today's quandary. Someone local, a birth photographer, has approached me and asked if she can photograph a birth story as she wants to build her experience of these. It would be totally free and would result in some beautiful photos, I am sure (she won't take any at the business end if I didn't want her to), and a possibly lovely memento of a very special occasion, as well as giving me the chance to see what happened from a different perspective as I imagine I'll be somewhat, um, distracted during most of it. It would be something for DH and I, not to share with others, and DH is happy to go for it if I want to. But on the downside it would be one more person to fit into our not massive living room (which will already be full of birthing pool, requiring midwives to clamber over sofas ) and it will be a stranger at the birth. Although weirdly, I feel less inhibited around strangers than I do around people I know, so the more I get to know my midwife, the more I think I will feel pretty awkward with her seeing my bits whereas I wouldn't be so fussed about a stranger .

This is a link to a birth story (it's a bit American but bear with it) and this is a link to a selection of photos to show the sort of photos that birth photographers get. Daily Mail article about birth photography here. Not that I would pay for this, but if we were paying, the cheapest I have found is £850 totally not tempted by getting £850 worth of service free, honest!!!! Can I have your honest thoughts about this?

Yomping - no never, not even if they paid me £850. But then I find photographers at wedding annoying, let alone when I have my fanjo out.

Yomping , warning, honest reaction alert...... No feckin way!!!!!! Clicked on the link to the birth story and looked so perfect it nearly made me gag.....! Trying not to think about my tear stained red face and freaked out DH too much, but defo not for us!!!! Neither of us are vaguely photogenic and the woman in those pics does not look quite real, bit bloody perfect!!

However, we are all very different and if seems right for you, go for it! Excellent freebie if is your cup of tea!! If the photographer is wanting to use your birth as experience, is it possible that she may show your pics to others as a portfolio??

Oh, I feel quite freaked out.

ooh that's an interesting one, jo. I can see why it'd be tempting in one way, because it would be an amazing record, and I suppose you could always scream "get out of my face" if necessary, and select which pics you're happy with. BUT...I wouldn't want to be worried about what makeup I'm wearing and how I look during labour. I wouldn't be able to relax and focus, and I think I'd end up being incredibly rude to the woman and tell her to eff the eff off out of my effing house. And then if things don't go to plan it could be a nightmare...and will your mws mind?

chickenpox watch update: DS has woken with a temp of 39 degrees today. Wondering if cp can develop so quickly? He was only exposed on Tues, seems fast to me. Might head over to the child health section and see if anyone can help

Blah, I am feeling a bit hormonal and emotional today. Long, fun, but exhausting day with my mates and their two toddlers yesterday... took them to a farm and then to a mock-seaside event with giant sandpits and paddling pools and that... had a fun day but kids were so over-stimulated they refused to sleep till gone 10 (which is past MY bedtime). Slept badly last night, and just did not feel in the mood for them this morning, felt hot and sweaty and heavy and unattractive and pregnant and they kept running into my room when I was trying to get dressed (the toddlers, not my friends). And then I felt like a rubbish friend. Even though I cooked everyone breakfast and don't think I let it show.

After telling everyone for months irritably my flat will be FINE for a baby (it's big, two bedrooms and a giant central living space) and no I wouldn't be happier living in the outskirts with a two-up two-down and I love having the city on my doorstep... after last night I am suddenly having panicky thoughts about how I can't deal with that day in day out and should I really be bringing up little urban tykes and is there a reason why everyone goes to live in the suburbs when they have kids.

Also my mate said (not nastily) "oh, you've not really got anything for the baby yet then"... but I have... bought or acquired... everything I think I need... I just don't think I need a lot of things that other people have... and I guess I can always buy it later if I do? (I mean pushchair, cot, toys, am not making a 'nursery' as such) He didn't say it nastily but I feel really defensive and naive!!

Then they left and we went straight over to see my friend who had a baby two weeks ago. She's a close friend and (this is so embarrassing to admit!) I've felt a bit insignificant all year because she got pregnant two months before me, even though her pregnancy was less than ideal in many ways (accidental, with a brand new - if lovely - boyfriend). I just felt like when I was still working and had no bump she was all third-trimester and people cooing over her, and now I am third trimester she has a newborn so I go round to help her cook and clean, and presumably by the time I have a newborn she will be looking lovely again and out and about and breastfeeding like a pro and I will just be rubbish and she'll be far too busy to see me because she'll have a baby.

I am a bad person for having these thoughts.

She is a great girl but she is prone to stating things that are her experience as if they will be everyone's, so today she told me sternly to 'make sure I have a hospital bag packed' as her birth had some complications and she knows I'm hoping for a home birth (I know! I'm not an idiot!), and that breast feeding is continuous and painful for the first 6 weeks - I know it can be, but it's not necessarily like that for everyone!

But she is shattered (hasn't been to bed yet - has sat up feeding baby on the sofa every night - another reason why I'm keen to co-sleep) and I am super-sensitive for no reason and it was nice to see her and I kept all this to myself and came home to admit it shamefully to you guys.

I am glad she feels happy about her birth even though it had some complications (meconium in waters, labour augmented, forceps, episiotomy), and I generally thought she looked pretty well and happy for 2 weeks post-birth despite the painful breastfeeding - but I have also gone all tearful and feel like everyone in the world has complicated labours and no one has any chance of just delivering normally any more.

(I took her over all the stuff you can't eat in pregnancy as a present, but she says she has to check with her midwife whether you can eat it while breastfeeding - I'm sorry, I am not maintaining these ludicrous food rules after I deliver!!! I mean I won't get drunk but I will have a glass of wine and eat what I want!!)

Maybe it was a weekend with too many children and of course every child at the moment makes me wonder what I would do in that situation. I'm tired and tearful and feel like a bad person.

Hello all, i'd love a baby shower - this has been a stressful pregnancy in many ways due to previous losses, it's also my last pregnancy so i have really wanted to enjoy it but it's been a struggle. my DH suggested a baby shower (as i was crying myself to sleep early on the pregnancy) as a way of celebrating how far we've come and actually enjoying some of it. i'd love to do it but really think that not many people i know will be up for it. i think we'll just have a really nice naming party instead a few month after the baby is born.

i have had some nasty heartburn but have managed to stay unmedicated (largely because i can't remember where i put the gaviscon and can't be bothered rto find it)!! in my last pregnancy i was wigging it towards the end so i'm expecting it to get worse at any moment!

Interesting proposal Yomping but I'd say no too. I'm not actually opposed to photos during labour, but they would definitely have to be my boyfriend taking them and not a stranger. Especially if it was at home - less so in a hospital where they are often lots of people anyway.

How do you guys feel about students in your labours anyway? I helped with quite a few as a medical student and it was a great experience for me and in at least three of them I think I offered some really good continuity and support when the midwife was very busy elsewhere. But I was a nice medical student and lots of them are nobbers :)

oooh, yomping, i'd do it, but I love a freebie, me. No chance of keeping any pics of me with my arse up in the air on a birthing ball, face contorted in pain, but would love to have some capturing mine and b/f's expressions after the litte bean arrives and his/her 1st moments.

I'm emotional today, too squid. Just went and had a big cry because b/f didn't say hello to me when i got in and shut the lounge room door on me....he's been doing diy al day in the heat, has the scaffolding up, i'm sure i'd be in a foul mood if i was him. I am not normally be so sensitive, b/f has seen more tears last 7 months than in the last 4 yrs! U r amazing for cooking and cleaning for your friend at your stage! I am being a complete lazy arse and taking my mates up on their kind offers to socialise near me/cook for me.

Squid I had a student at my first labour and she was lovely, from that experience I would say yes again. They did ask me if she could come in while I was already in labour though and I don't think I could comprehend English by that point, I just smiled and nodded!

Please be reasured, lots of people have straight forward labours. DS was only 8 and a half hours and out he came in 2 or 3 pushes, with no drama. I usually keep that to myself because other Mums seem to have this "my labour/birth/children are so hard because....." competition going on and I worry that people think I'm being stuck up if I say I had a positive experience. I am bound to get my comeuppance this time round!

Plankton I like your list, especially the bit about epidurals, and yes there are lots of reasons not to have one. Being immobile is one. There is a risk of complitcations and side effects that I really don't fancy, but for me the absolute deciding factor is that I do not want a MASSIVE F*ING NEEDLE in my spine.....ahem. Each to there own but really, really do your research first.

Has there been another general change with a lot of us? I too am v emotional. Think I have cried every day this week and had a major session this morning. Don't even think is irrational either, I am feeling properly stressed and apprehensive....... DH feeling it too. Think the enormity of life changing event hitting us.....

Not too impressed that I am 35 on Saturday either and that neither finances, time or energy levels warrants much celebration! But that really is silly.

Need to stop this nobber behaviour and count myself lucky. MW apt in morning, that should cheer me up!!

yomping er no. each to their own and all that but it definately wouldn't be for me - i wouldn't want to spend the labour worrying that my "contraction face" is ugly, i think i am vain enough for that to be a concern.

squid i would consider a student but only if they were not their to just catch the baby, they have to experience a certain amount of births as part of their qualification so i wouldn't allow someone who is just going to pop in at the end. and also under the proviso that they will leave if i want them too. but otherwise i think i would be ok with it, everyone's got to learn.

plankton i had a spinal block for my emcs and one thing they didn't mention to me was the itching, it made my skin itch like crazy afterwards and i'm still having problems years later so will be avoiding anything like that at all costs. the button up shirts were great for me, i wore my husbands shirts for the first week or so and it made life much easier...even though i looked like s**t in them! i like the idea of a list for DH especially as i asked him the other day what he thinks he'll be doing during the birth and he pointed to his smartphone!! luckily he was joking, but still...

so, i am feeling v. silly. B/F was diy-ing with headphones on, he did not hear me come in and had no idea i was home. The lounge door does not shut properly and the wind blows it open, so he shut it in my face with a 'for fucks sake', because he thought it was the wind again!!! Oh well, a good cry is cathartic :) Lucky i didnt go out in a huff without saying goodbye after all.

hufflepuff i too have been a mess this week, crying at the drop of a hat, just when i was thinking "wow i haven't been hormonal at all so far" then BOOM crying, losing my temper, sulking, apologising and then crying some more. suddenly everything seems to hard (i mean things like getting up for a drink of water or the remote control...)

yomping if they're like this:
jonaspeterson.com/tag/slideshow/
i might consider it.

squid, just wanted to say that your present to your friend of all the things she hadn't been able to eat while pregnant was lovely! I'd so appreciate it if someone did that for me (not that I'm actually abstaining properly from anything bad Yomping ). Also that I'd feel exactly the same re thunder being stolen.

Another emotional one here. Took Nectar voucher to Sainsburys, forced DH to help me find £25 worth of toiletries so I could claim the points, then couldn't find Nectar card, accused DH of not having given it back since last time he looked after it for me (which made him cross), bought £25 worth of toiletries we don't need, put it in car, apologised for blaming him in front of checkout person, got home, looked bloody everywhere for nobbing Nectar card which has completely disappeared and then burst into floods of tears when he gently teased me for being less organised than usual. He said it must be frustrating. I wanted to say "I'm still the most organised person I know, so nob off!" - so I did. Say it, I mean, not nob off. Then cried a lot. What's happening to us all?

Also, I HATE THIS HOT WEATHER . It makes me cross and sweaty and my thighs which are now gargantuan rub together and the only way I can stop that happening is the bloody pregnant waddle - now I know why pregnant people waddle! It's not due to the bump, it's due to the rubbing thighs. Grrrr.

Beccus He didn't say hello? . Leave the bastard! (have always wanted to say that on a thread!)

Hormone madness has gripped the thread! :o Sympathy to all , will catch up properly later - but I was gripped by rage earlier after agonising ligament pains when I walked about 100 yds to a shop to buy fecking maternity and breast pads. Which I won't need for weeks but thought I better buy while I can still fecking walk at all!!! Bump has now shelved out beneath my bosoms, my legs ached all day in spite of doing nothing. Feel huge and heavy.

Felt quite murderous to all around me actually especially an idiot woman who parked on a double yellow, then strolled round to the passenger side without even looking behind her, forcing me into path of other car to avoid killing her. She did jump satisfyingly out of skin when I gave a lunatic blare of the horn :o

God, what is wrong with us all?! lol

Hello ladies, glad to hear that you're all feeling the emotions too- I thought I was going mental again. One minute I'm happy and the next I'm in floods of tears! And is anyone else experiencing ridiculous road rage? I never really had road rage.. but since I got pregnant its been foul!!!!!! Cyclists are my main target at the moment, why the hell can they not ride in single-bloody-file?!!!!

Anyway, for those that are interested, a picture of the bump at the 90's party I attended. :D it looked awesome!
I'm starting to struggle in terms of breathing/walking properly now... i have to sit in a way that my boobs don't rest on my bump so I can breathe slightly normally, but then I get backache because I'm not sitting correctly- then I get pain in my coxic bone when sitting properly! I just can't get comfortable at the moment, being in bed is a nightmare too! I cannot wait for this pregnancy to be over, I just want to have the baby now so I can at least be normal again.

Rant over. I have missed everyone but I am so tired I can't remember anyone's posts, but I am thinking of you all, promise.
xx

P.S. The crazy dreams have made a return too!!

Last weekend I barely kept it together watching som ladies do trick riding at a local rodeo. It was just so beautiful!

ah man, I am sorry so many of you have had a down day. I often wish my hubs could read this so that he would know that it is not just me who cries frequently and finds things hard. But he gets so bloody sick of me waffling on about 'the thread'! I kept checking in today even though we were on a family day out and got into big trouble!

squid I think you are suffering from child overload. Other peoples kids are often hard work. You can only summon the extra energy and patience when they are your own and you are not pregnant! Don't stress about your flat-you can always move later. My bro and his family are very happy in their beautiful flat which is in the top floor of a converted house. As for your friend saying you haven't bought much stuff, I doubt he meant to be critical. It is quite unconventional not to have a cot or pushchair as these two things do make your life easier. The cot is a safe place to put them when you need a shower or something like that and I still use the buggy now even though DS is nearly 3 because I can't carry him and the shopping etc when he gets tired on walks and it is a safe place for him to be when we walk down a busy road. But as you say, none of that is essential for a newborn if you don't want to. It is up to you what you buy and as you say, you can always buy it as and when you want to. So don't stress at all-tomorrow is another day.

yomping not sure about the pictures if I am honest. I guess it all depends on how you feel at the time, and that isn't something that you will know until you are there so go with your instinccts I reckon.

mickey I sympathise with all the aches and pains and feeling uncomfortable in every position. It sucks! Hope you feel better tomorrow x

plankton thanks for the list-all good ideas.

Morning peeps. Stayed up late watching closing ceremony, typically this is the morning I got agonising hip pain and had to get up instead of sleeping on. Pain in tailbone too AND bad leg cramp which I only just averted :( Think it's a mixture of a) sitting still too long last night watching Olympic stuff and b) kicking pillow out from between knees.

Supposed to be driving for miles today to meet friends for lunch - we've planned it for weeks but so tired not sure I should be driving anywhere :(

Final twist - baby seems to be hiccupping this morning - first time I've noticed! Is anyone else getting this? Read it was really common but haven't had it up until now.

DH slept on through / ignored my groans of agony. He's lying sleeping peacefully now. Grrrrrrrr!!!!

I am now beyond exhausted. 3 weeks of crap sleep. Put it down to hip pain and have had to increase number of pillows (2 under hips and a full body pillow) but that is now making me more uncomfortable to the point where my back is spasming I just want to sleep!! Any suggestions for remedies for helping sleep? Would normally be reaching for over the counter antihistamines by now (can use some of them as sleeping tablets) but obviously they are out of bounds. I am desperate...

Work has been alright so far but 2 weeks back and I've been thrown back into the pit again as new boss is on hol this week, back next then off for another week. That means I'm covering her job (again) whilst she's off. Will be playing by the book for my remaining 7 weeks - sod 'em, I just don't have the energy.

On the plus side they'd waited for me to come back off sick leave to sort out a meeting for our patient participation group (ideally a chance to get pt views on changes that have been made to services and feedback on future plans, but inevitably ends up with them moaning at you telling you how shit the place is, how crap everything is, and how it was completely disgusting that they had to wait 30mins for a prescription to be signed the last time they remembered 5 mins before they went on holiday that they'd run out of meds).forward to it spent all weekend wondering how to get out of it as it's a Thursday evening and means after getting to work at 7:15am I wouldn't be getting home til 9pm. Had an epiphany this morning...the night in question is the night of my second NCT class so am looking forward to telling work where to stick it and that they will have to get someone else to do it evil cackle

Really can't be bothered today. Still, last full week at work and escaping early for midwife on Friday so have got that to look forward too.

Here's a (or if you prefer) and a to help get you all through the day x