Due in October 2012 Part 6 - Third Trimester Trials and Tribulations

[YompingJo]

Shiny new thread!

Ready?
Steady?
Go!

I'm being brave and have posted a bump picture too....

Afternoon all

Thanks for all your "back to work" thoughts. First day back hasn't been too bad considering.

Haven't really slept well since Thursday - cogs have been whirring too much. Started getting palpitations when I was getting ready this morning and held myself together until DH dropped me off, where upon I burst into tears. Anyway, I pulled myself together and once I'd got myself through the door, got a cuppa and had a chat with some of the girls I felt a bit more relaxed.

Meeting with senior partner went ok. I'm on half days this week and then review on Friday to see if I'm ok to go back to full time next week. As there are only 9 weeks until I go off on mat leave they are putting me on reduced duties (although more as a "doesn't confuse the staff" measure rather than a "it takes the pressure off you" one) and the new boss has taken over line management for the team (and will do until my return from mat leave). Hopefully that should reduce the pressure on me.

Good to know that I can now direct everything to New boss rather than dealing with it myself. Had a good chat with her mid-morning and she seemed quite sympathetic and reassured me that she'd be there to provide support and help me regain my confidence.

Senior partner admitted that they should have done a risk assessment when I first told them I was pregnant - no surprises being that the main things it brought up was work-related stress and being placed in threatening situations (my main contact with patients is when they want to complain and they can often get a bit feisty!).

Feel a bit more relaxed about things but still anxious about them being followed through. Am worried that I'm already getting worked up about going back after mat leave (with my annual leave and mat leave it will be this week next year that I would be returning) which is silly given it's a year away. Am still hoping I win lottery between now and then .

Bit down as well because one of our fantastic registrars was leaving today - he's been an absolute star and was one of the only things that put a smile on my face at work!

Hope everyone else is ok. Been a bit crap lately at name checking everyone - kind of been on my own little world. Apologies for ignoring everyone - do think about you all but struggling for energy (mentally and physically) at the moment. Hopefully normal service will be resumed soon

32, 27+2, #1

Oh boy.. much too much to name check on.

To those who would like to borrow the death star idea... have at er! I usually come up with these grand ideas of things i like to do but rarely follow through will be nice to see some more fun belly photos.

Belly photos... ok finally brave enough to post a bare belly photo.. taken this AM so at 28+ 5. (should be up as soon as my email from phone comes through... seems to be taking a while) Fjord... thank you for posting! Do i remember correctly that you are the one with fibroids making for a bigger belly?

re: jaffles.... we have a campfire jaffle maker! mmmmm so good for making smores in, and mini pies. yum yum yum

Was my and DH 1st anniversary yesterday! I told him i wanted plans to be a surprise. and he sent me roses at work and picked me up after work for a picnic overlooking the city where we had our engagement photos done. Such a nice romantic surprise minus the HUGE hill of stairs we had to climb to get there. My hip is feeling it today!

Happy birthday Mickey

re: 4D scans.... we will not be getting one... i think mostly they are creepy, but in yours... um angelico? you can actually see a cute little face in there.

That is about all i can remember today...

oh and welcome fresh fruit!

Thanks for book recommendation Elpis & Lisbeth. Haven?t given much thought to the techniques of breastfeeding thus far, but since it?s dawning on me that I may not be able to afford any ante-natal classes, it would probably be a good idea for me to get stuck into a book on the subject.

Also thank you to everyone for the nice bump comments ? especially Cherrychopsticks for saying it?s ?neat and cute?. Certainly no-one has accused it of being that recently but I?m chuffed if someone found it so! It certainly is an orb of orbishness :).
Yomping - I rather lamely didn?t realise you had a new one up but you?re looking bumptastic and I?m loving the dress on you! :) Also Smorgs - now yours really is neat and cute. I wish I could still rock a fitted top like that! Londonlivvy, I?d love a smooth, neat one like yours :). Please rest assured as Beeblebear suspected, mine is abnormal and the result of having a couple of 10-15cm fibroids in there as well as a uterus full of baby! I?m almost in shock and denial that it might get any bigger as I feel like I?m lugging a heavy backpack on my front everywhere as it is! . Beeblebear - I look forward to yours. From your previous pics yours looks quite elegant! :) I guess that?s the one thing I?m a million miles from feeling right now as I waddle along saying ?oof? constantly and whingeing on about the general pain/achiness of everything!

Planktonette - loving ?jaffles? ?cos they kind of conjure up the idea of waffles but more exciting (if that makes any sense?). Seems all I eat these days is cheese & tomato or occasionally cheese & ham sandwiches (toasted or not depending on how patient/hot I?m feeling), as well as cold orange juice, which has been a constant, and iced things like lollies & sorbet (was making/eating lots of salads but have been mostly catered for on our 'holiday' so my efforts at healthy eating have been sold down the river to 'holiday indulgence' rather ). Was in the electrical shop today going into a daze staring at ice machines and ice cream machines while DSD1 bought an iPod Touch with her savings but now I want to go back and get a jaffle maker!! Would save me having the oven on so much in our tiny flat, then nearly passing out with the heat it generates!! Not 100% sure you can get such items here though ? might have to settle for a ?panini press? style thing.

Phew. Way too much going on for me to reply, barely able to read all! So love to hear all.

Londonmrss my local lovely hospital is a birthing unit, MW only. Breaking my heart that I am not going there for birth. It is lovely, cosy, welcoming, spacious and in no hurry for you to leave.

Complications however mean ambulance transfer to hospital, half hr plus away. I know the risk is low but for me as a first timer age 35, I am just too nervous. I hope to have an uncomplicated non anxious birth but I want reassurance of OBGYN and paediatricians in neonatal unit. This means an over busy hospital who are less likely to give me time and space I want and may end up with ECS which birthing unit may avoid. Perhaps I may feel more confident if I do it a second time!!

So that is my decision on birthing unit. If hospitals were geographically closer, might hav been different. wish I had the confidence to decide otherwise!!

And actually the more time goes on I wish I could hav a home birth.......!

Bump - pic is up

Beeblebear - lovely! :-) Mine's gone outie, but goes flat sometimes when she changes position.

huffle/LondonMrs - haven't weighed in on the birthing unit thing as I feel kind of unqualified to comment. Here in Stavanger, there is one university hospital and, other than at home (which is not common here) everyone has their baby there. If uncomplicated, you go to the 'birthing unit' (MW led with pools etc.) on the 4th floor. If not, the more regular unit on 2nd floor of same building. If you start uncomplicated but it gets complicated, they can get you straight down to 2nd floor with more support in a lift. Sounds great? Only problem is, the catchment area for this hospital is huge and some might have over an hour's drive to get there. It's not uncommon I think for women in unexpectedly fast labour to have to be taken in by air ambulance (nice unstressful start...not). I do relate to the dilemma if I would have to choose and the 2 separate options were that far away. At my age, and with fibroids, I think I'd be left with no choice but to give the lovely birthing unit a miss .

A happy belated 21st birthday to Mickey :)
Mine was rather a long time ago lol I remember getting very pissed & having a stripper that I wanted no part of in the pub I worked in at the time

Angelico I had a 4d scan a couple of weeks ago too & it was fab!! Sorry your little one wasnt so obliging but at least you have some idea of what your little babba will look like :) I think mine looks like my neice when she was a newborn & according to my dad & my brother he looks like me (poor little bugger!!) Anyway just wanted to say if anyone else still has the time to get one in I would thoroughly recommend it & would defo go for the experience again!!

Squid well done on finishing work :) though I must admit I'm a little about still having to go I'm rapidly losing interest in it & would quite happily tell everyone to piss off at the moment but as I work for myself I dont really have much choice so will be going out to work until 36wks & will then do the odd bit at home here & there to keep my business afloat ( having your own business has its disadvantages!)

Anyway you must all be bored of my nonsense so will sign off...Is anyone else still really struggling with heartburn/acid??

Hello ladies! Just a quick check in as friend is staying, she is in the other room scoffing a box of chocolates saving me from myself so just waving and saying hope all is well!

Lisbeth thanks for PM tend to assume people mean the best rather than the worst online given the vagaries of typing with no facial expressions - I do use the smilies as much as possible, would love more, in spite of the general MN hatred of them! :o Enjoy Ireland - howling winds and driving rain here on the north coast today but the Atlantic is always a double-edged sword!

Planktonette totally sold on the mighty Jaffle! And PMSL at the BS, mummy loves you :o :o :o

Fjord glad you survived the holiday and sounds like you and DP are much more on the same page

Gucci glad you had a more co-operative bean! :o

London I get those agonising ligament pains too when walking, they strike without warning - today it was in B&Q when I was at the far end of the store from car... Unit thing sounds lovely, def somthing to think about, especially if you are close to hospital.

Aaaaggh, better go, my friend will have hit the bottom layer of chocs by now... Have a nice evening ladies xo

PS Gucci sympathy on heartburn, I feel your pain literally.

Yomping don't know if you are anywhere near civilization but sending some to say - hang in there and have a great time amidst the clouds of smog :o

Evening all,

We I have spent most of the afternoon sound asleep so may have the energy to do an epic post or may get distracted by the Olympics

Fjord Welcome back from the wilderness. Your sorbet recipe is still haunting me - I must try it. I am also on a ice cream, ice lolly thing. And fizzy water - can't get enough of it - which is weird because I normally hate it. The bump is impressive, I may even post one of mine no faces though, I would be worried I would get me a real life stalker I am also in denial about actually getting bigger. People seriously think I am due soon - I have 12 weeks to go. I am so small there is nowhere for it to go but outwards. I so envy the tall people who have somewhere else for it to go. It is already compressing my lungs a bit, so exercising more of a faff but still forcing myself to go.

Kyria Glad the first day back wasn't too horrendous - a few wobbles is only to be expected. Try to not even think about going back - you really don't know how you will feel by then. I know we are all different but I kind of enjoyed it in the end. It is hard, but a different kind of hard than looking after a baby and there is something freeing about having to only think about yourself - even if it is for just a few hours a day. Sounds like work know they have been nobbers tough so that is positive.

Good luck with choosing your birth centre London. I think it boils down to how swiftly they can transfer you if something does go wrong. They will transfer you if you are unable to cope without pain relief but the problem with that is there is no guarantee the labour ward will have space which may mean you miss your pain relief anyway - but then you will have the baby so it will be too late to care if you see what I mean. Like Lisbeth says they won't say - this is without risk - a Doctor will tell you the safest place for the baby is a labour ward but it's not as straight forward as that and it is important that you are comfortable and happy too.

Smorgs don't feel bad about mentioning the working late article - we get the Times anyway so I had seen it before. It did make me a bit as I really don't have any choice but like you say its more likely to affect those with physical jobs all about managing the risk and scaling things back. My job is stressful but I figure in the last month I will switch off a bit as I won't give a shit about them. Your bump picture doesn't seem to be there - not sure if I am rubbish at looking or you are as bad as me at posting them.

Lisbeth I am about your holiday. Love the idea of your little boy chasing dogs in his wetsuits. Dodgy weather doesn't hold back the spirits of a small child.

A Jaffle sounds the same as a Breville. Everyone had a Breville in the 80's. Gorgeous creations but a bugger to clean if I remember rightly. I can imagine
they would be really handy when you have a baby clamped to you. I may borrow one from the MIL as she keeps everything and is bound to have one. Good call Plankton

Beeble Although impressed with Deathstar painting I am lacking in any artistic bones. I may just go for a big union jack at the next Olympic thing I go to. Lame but at least I could do it.

I also don't go to special pregnant ladies classes either Cherry. I just get things adjusted for me. Now in the last tri there seems so many things the teachers won't let me do, I am getting a bit frustrated by it all. And in answer to your how many tickets do we have I am a bit to say we have a lot. We planned a long way in advance - after all it is once in a lifetime. My first event was the dress rehearsal of the Opening Ceremony and my last is the Closing Ceremony with plenty in between. I saw the Gymnastics yesterday - it was brilliant to see us get a medal after 100 years - and the drama of being robbed of the silver. Next stop athletics.

Thanks for saying you think I have a lot of energy Squid the interweb can be a deceptive thing as I have napped for 2 hours today. Hope you are making the most of your leave. I think it is a great time to just spoil yourself.

This post has taken me so goddam long I expect 25 people have posted since. Baby moving less - freaking me out - wish it would go all mental again - I prefer it when it goes mental. Night all.

Ok not 25 but 3..I give up trying to keep up - waves feebly at Angelico and Gucci

Hi all,

Long time no speak so this may be a long one Im afraid!!

The move to my parents went well, and we are now settled in happily. They are being as fantastic as I knew they would, and not letting me do much around the house, or walk to work or anything, so its nice to know Im going to be looked after for a while.

On the house front we are waiting on the vendor to decide if she is going to put in an offer and do a survey on the house she wants before we commit to saying we will buy her house. Still worried that she will change her mind again, but its out of our hands for now at least.

Kyria OMG I can completely sympathise with the work woes. I am a little ashamed to say I had a complete meltdown at work yesterday and walked out as I just couldnt take anymore. Ive tried to explain to them from the start, they took me on to cover this temp maternity cover of theTeam Leader position. Id only just qualified when they took me on, and they gave me a weeks training with the girl I was covering. Well basically, as time has gone on, its transpired that lots has gone on behind the scenes that management had no clue about, and its been left to me to pick up the peices. Ive had to try and write statements for parents to gve forward for their tax credits claims, when half the paperwork to back up their claims has not been filed or is missing. Ive had to deal with unreliable staff, endless phonecalls, meetings that require me to work over the 20 hrs originally contracted, and countless other issues that I wont bore you with. Combine that with now being 25 + 2 and moving house, everything just built up and got on top of me. The final straw was when the co-ordinator (who is also pregnant, had a go at me for not passing on a messgae which she had overheard anyway! She said it was ridiculous, and I needed to stop making mistakes like this. This resulted in me telling them to stuff it and they could get another team leader. And I walked. After about an hour and a chat and a cry with my mum I did go back so thankfully I havent lost my job. Ive asked today if I can bring my mat leave forward 2 weeks and leave on the 17th instead of the 31st of this month. They seemed really shocked and reluctant at this and said they will need to discuss it.
I know they are advertising for cover for my job now, and the closing date is friday so they still have 2 weeks to get someone in. But correct me if Im wrong, isnt it my right to leave anytime 11 weeks before my baby is due? Trying to find some thing online about my rights when it comes to changing the date I can go on leave, can anyone help? I just feel sorry for whoever takes over from me, I'm so glad it was a temp job and I dont have to go back!!

crazy, sorry to hear your holiday is not going well - can't believe your friends are hogging the good bed, letting their kids terrorise yours and making you cook :(

hpayy belated birthday, mickey, glad u had such a nice day. I loved my 21st; we got a blow up castle and partied in our garage with many casks of wine, in true aussie style, then went out clubbing and danced to cheesy 80's music. planktonnette, thank u for the jaffle heads up, must get one!

Have had a tearful few days, been feeling overly sensitive to crisicism, but better today.

Cute scan, Angelico, she looks very peaceful!

Love all the bump pics, ladies, what a lot of pregalicious yummy mummies! Maybe i can figure out how to post one of me.

kyria, and cwest, thinking of you and your work woes

london, when i said to my MW i'd like to start at the birth centre, see how i go, but then probably move to the labour ward for an epidural, i got a bit of a stern talking to that the birth centre is for those who are committed to natural birth and they're not too keen on moving people to labour ward.

Night ladies.

beccus sorry you ate having such a shit time at work. I also think its your right to take mat leave any time you want within that period. Just need to give notice. Think 28 days. But even that is flexible.

www.direct.gov.uk/en/parents/moneyandworkentitlements/workandfamilies/pregnancyandmaternityrights/dg_10039631

morning peeps,

having busy week with ds being poorly. He was back on form yesterday and I totally overdid it taking him to an adventure playground and then a sand park. I wouldn't have done both (even though Gina Ford says I should!) but there were loads of massive kids playing tag in the adventure playground, and they were running in and out of the little kiddies castle and I was terrified DS would get trampled. It occured to me how ,uch harder this kind of thing will be with a baby in tow. Anyway, I was aching all over last night, ligament pain, leg cramps and my usual awful back ache and was feeling really down. I is so difficult to balance DS's needs with my abilities at the moment. We are also in the middle of a horrendous family fall out. It doesn't directly involve me, but is still very upsetting. Since my Grandma's stroke, my Mum and her siblings have all had the most horrendous fall out and I can not see how they can put it right now as so many old resentmentments have come up

i am on my phone as usual so might not do very well at name checking. Very jealous of your lovely bump pics- you all look so lovely and are all bump. Mine looks wierd in comparison, really low down and kind of flat at the front. Baby is always under my rib and really sticks out! He or she moves all the time which is lovely, but is such a strange feeling now that the movements are so massive!

fjord thanks for the carpal tunnel sympathy! I am hoping my MIL will return my wrist splints that I lent her as they were a help last time. I wonder if you could get hold of some? Glad you survived your hol and were able to address some issues with your DP.

crazy I am so sorry you are having such a rotten last holiday. Why are the other parents being so slack about letting their kids pick on your DS?! Hope you are OK.

Mickey Belated Happy Happy Birthday! So glad your fella was so lovely to you and that your party was fun! My 21st was 8 years ago and my uni housemates through me an amazing houseparty at our uni digs and it was awesome. My now husband was there with all his friends and I didn't like him much at the time as I thought he was a bit cocky! I can remember thinking 'what is he doing here?' it took him a few months of persistance after that night to get me to go out with him, and I am so glad he did because that cocky young lad is now the most amazing husband and Daddy. It is just such a shame the poor guy is having to work all the hours God sends at the minute so isn't getting much time with us.

squid so glad you are enjoying your well-deserved rest. You look stunning in that picture!

londonmrs I have debated about whether or not to tell you about my experience of a birthing unit because I really don't want to put you off it. My local one is lovely and exactly as you describe yours, so we chose it for DS's birthvbirth. You asked why people might be moved to a hospital and I got moved because DS was back to back and three days of contractiobs hadn't moved him round. dH wasn't allowed in the ambulance with me and that was the worst part of being moved. The post-natal care in the hospital was rubbish so I got moved back to the birthing centre again which was great. If i had had a straightforward labour, (like the majority of cases) the care and comfort of the birthing centre would have been perfect and I wish I could go back, but they have advised me to go straight to the hospital this time in case I have a hard time again. I hope this hasn't been a scare-mongering post-I have loads of friends who had their babies at the birthing centre and were really happy with it. I just thought my story fitted your query.

Sorry to everyone I have missed

bella age 29 28+6weeks edd 18th october dc2

Thanks for sharing your experience Bella, I appreciate different views. It doesn?t sound like the worst experience (you and baby were safe! Plus you seem to take a very objective view, even with your experience), although I agree that your hubby not being allowed with you is a big issue and have added that to my list of questions. Having to transfer because labour isn?t progressing well or something is ok with me and imo still worth starting in the birth centre. The only thing that bothers me is if there is any increased risk to the baby and if it could be too late to transfer- in that case, it's not worth it for me.

I'll report back from my visit on Saturday!

You've all got such lovely bumps! Mine is now big enough to make putting on my socks a bit of a challenge... but it still looks a bit wobbly to be honest.

Age 27, 27 + 5, #1 due on 26th Oct

The birthing centre sounds absolutely lovely to me. I decided against a birthing centre last time around because I wasn't 100% happy that they would be able to deal as well as a hospital with the very few emergencies that give you second to respond. However please don't let this put you off because if you are more relaxed there then there are probably other risks that are less.... Bottom line is if you have an uncomplicated pregnancy then there isn't a statistically significant increase in risk to your baby from delivering in a birth centre. It might not be the right choice for you and if you're like me and would worry about the rare stuff then maybe it isn't for you....
Basically it's a really individual decision. There are risks to delivering at home, in hospital or in a birth centre, just a question of working out what's right for you. I think. I had a horrible delivery first time around so try very hard not to let this affect my perspective too much when talking to other people which is probably why I stay sitting firmly on the fence!
What I really don't understand is why it's just birthing centres that have nice surroundings, double beds, more postnatal support and more breastfeeding help. Surely if you have a high risk or complicated delivery in hospital you're still going to need and benefit from that aren't you? Seems crap that we have to choose between access to high tech care and nice relaxing supportive comfortable care. I want both!

Well put Smiley I totally agree.

Sending hugs cwest - the whole atmosphere sounds similar to my place.

Not pleasant but I'm hoping with a new manager in I might just be at the start of things changing for the better...fingers crossed!

I think you are correct in thinking that you can go off on mat leave any point in the 11 weeks before you are due. I don't know if you have to give 28 days notice (where possible) about a change in date though...

I know it sounds depressing but work on the principal they will say no to your request and then at least you won't be too downhearted - one of my biggest issues was getting to the point where I was relying on annual leave to get me out of doing a full week at the office, and then completely crumbling when annual leave had to be cancelled because I just couldn't face the thought of being there an extra day.

Sending xxx

32, 27+3, #1

smiley you are so right. Why do we have to make that choice? Maybe noone would choose a birthing centre if the hospitals had all the home comforts too! X

londonmrs FWIW, my experience of the birthing centre (which is attached to the hospital) was very brief. The midwives reluctantly admitted me at 2cm dilated with irregular contractions because I'd already been in labour at home for 36 hours. But my waters had broken and when a MW inspected the pad she said there was meconium in the waters, which can indicate foetal distress. So it was goodbye to the birthing stool and hello to the labour ward - where, I must say, the MWs were much kinder!

I can't remember who it is who's experiencing some stress incontinence (sorry - hard to scroll on iPhone while posting) but ... Welcome to my world. I've had it since my first pregnancy and also have diminished sensation in my bladder sometimes due to the MS, which means walking downhill occasionally causes leakages . Trampolining would, too, if i did it. No need to resort to Tena Lady - Always have a good and discreet range... But it may well go away once the pressure is off your bladder!

crazypaving Hope you've FLED. Can't bear it when other children are cruel to DD, especially when their parents don't step in. I tut like anything.

Download kept me awake half the night with kicking and squirming. He is decidedly nocturnal at the moment. I just don't remember one half of my bump shrinking while the other bulges. Maybe this is some weird form of Braxton-Hicks.

freshfruitsalad Hello, and all my admiration for staying positive during what must be a daunting situation.

Thanks for all the welcomes, I read the thread every day but just not been near a computer to reply on it til today, lively thread! :D

Ive won a mumsnet competition! £250 pound voucher to spend on a best of British parks Holidwy. Quite excited now (and also wondering if this means I'm going camping at 36w pregnant or something...... But certain I'll have fun whenever and wherever we go, I love holidays!)

Hey all

beccus thank you, she does look peaceful, pretty knackered myself.

Smiley brill news about the holiday voucher :o

Hope you are all okay this evening