November 2012 - nearer the end than the beginning

[StuntNun]

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A woman - I think that's worse. I just assumed such fecktarded tactlessness could only come from a bloke. Jeez...

YW having studied child development and the effects of premature birth both from a social and biological perspective, anyone who can be as ignorant as to think that having a premmie will be a breeze, and if they survive then there won't be any lasting damage must be totally clueless. Like you, I blame the media for glossing over the effects of premature birth and not giving an appropriate or realistic representation of it in dramas and soaps. Nature has determined that the period of human gestation is 40 weeks for a reason!

The progress little Willow has made is an absolute credit to your amazing sister. We both know the absolute hell she has been through over the past year, and is indeed still going through even if some people are still completely oblivious.

Echoing what others have said here, every day and week in pregnancy is precious, and although I'm sure we're all getting a little impatient wanting for that first cuddle from our little ones, I for one am happy to wait as long as possible!!

Not brave enough to post on AIBU but would appricate you views if you don't mind ladies :) don't no if it's my hormones making me all emotional or if I have a bit of a right to be. Me and DP brought the boxing match on the Telly to watch tonight, a few of his friends were going to come and watch and leave after which is fine but then he had an early start at work so we were just going to chill out on our own. Then today his shifts at work change and has a later start so wants his mates to come round again so I was abit bummed because I'm shattered from today but still that's fine but then he changes it too, they'll stay and watch the other fight at 2/3 in the morning then they'll carry on having a drink after so would be lucky to get them out at 5am! I said that watching the next one is taking the piss mick and I have work earlier then him and no I won't be able to settle and have a good nights sleep with them lot downstairs shouting at the Telly but now I'm out of order the boxing doesn't happen often (which is true) and he really enjoys it so I should just suck it up and get over it and I'm making a big deal
Over nothing so now he's sodded off out left me home alone with it on the Telly and will expect a lift at 4/5am and thinks immout of order to be upset and feel like he's ditched me so am I?

I'm really sorry for the long post and probly am wrong

Willow - aaw that was what we wanted to call DD2, but with her genes we knew she would never be willowy. She is Billie, Sunday name Wilhelmina (I know, poor kid)

nervous I think you have every right to not be happy about them watching telly and drinking until 5am, especially as you have work tomorrow. You are pregnant, and need a good night sleep. I would not be giving him a lift in the morning, especially as he is likely to be pissed up. I say enjoy your evening, watch the boxing on your own if you want, and ignore the phone call. But I may be wrong as I am very old. He needs training now, as he will not be able to do this with kids in the house x

nervous personally, I think he's being pretty selfish. It would be a different matter if the match finished at, say midnight, and they a went home. Why does he need a lift at 5am? Are you both working tomorrow? If you are the one with the early start then that needs to be accounted for. Can there not be a compromise? Can he guarantee that they are out the house by a certain time? I have no idea what time the boxing goes on to. Does that help at all?

Today, I purchased The Contented Baby's First Year by Gina Ford. It has lots of practical things like how to pick them up, establishing feeding patterns and so on so it is what I was looking for. I know I'll do what I always do which is read lots of things then decide on my own plan anyway. I do like books though - I always have reference manuals for whatever my big thing is - allotmenteering, running and the like so it seems apt I read up on the biggest thing of my life!

The Waterstones I was in had relatively limited choice but now I have one to hand I can order others from Amazon if I feel the need.

The premature baby information is amazing. Bizarrely, I haven't watched Eastenders since I was a child but saw the episode with the premature birth in it. What stage was she supposed to be at - they had her padded to the max! I don't understand soaps - they justify the ridiculously dramatic lives their characters lead by arguing that it is dramatic representation but then give a completely false impression of something like a premature birth. There is just something really salacious in storylines like this and the SIDS/baby swap one. Why peddle such misery? It seems every TV programme I watch has some pregnancy angle to it - I don't know of I am just so much more aware now than I was before.

My bump seems to have changed shape today and the movements have felt different for the last few days. I can still feel him but in a much duller, internal way if that makes sense. The sharp kicks are no longer there. Do you think he has turned? What I can feel is concentrated on my bladder . . . I drank a can of juice yesterday to try to make it move because I was concerned. Properely chugged it back just for baby respond by a sharp boot in the bladder. I miss the proper kicks though.

pass just a word of warning.... Mentioning GF on Mumsnet often results in a flaming! between you and me I think she is awesome, and I used her principles with DD1 religiously, but with DD2 it did not fit in with the routine I had to follow due to circumstances. I think that is a good choice for a first timer, but do read a few other books to give a balanced view. This message will self distruct hopefully. >

I am off to bed as the little poxy one is asleep and my foot hurts. No doubt will dream of early labour...

Oh yes, movements will change a lot. Earlier I swear the little cherub was trying to dig out of my cervix!

Oh, and YW it is certainly a euphemism! I knew nothing about premature babies but I do think that there is a general attitude that once they are home all is "fixed" and everything should be as normal.

The granny of the baby seems anxious about everything, poor woman. She seems to be worried about the amount of movement the baby has - she thinks it is moving too much. I think it is having wee spasms but is that not normal? The baby seems alert and is holding on to her feeding tube much like mine was hanging on to the umbilical cord at my scan. The poor granny seems worried that the baby is too alert almost?! I wonder if that comes from watching TV programmes where premature babies lie there prone attached to breathing equipment.

YW my heart goes out to your sister and wee Willow. It must be hard being to far away and knowing she has so little support from the grandparents.

OMG Valium thanks for the warning! See! This whole baby business is a mine field. I just liked the coloured pictures

Nervous I don't think you're being unreasonable at all! My last major strop with DH - in fact probably one of my worst strops ever that his mates still take the piss out of him for was something quite similar. My final research paper for uni was due in the next day and he knew I had to get up at 5am to do a 3 hour drive up North to hand it in, and despite promising me a quiet night in, insisted on going out with his work mates instead. Fine in theory, I wasn't bothered and told him I'd come and pick him up so long as it was before midnight, his response: "Oh I'll be home long before that don't worry, anything after 11 I'll get a taxi, and I won't be drinking much anyway". Cut a long story short, I got woken at 2.30am by three giggling blokes, singing down the phone at me, and my idiot partner wanting me to come and pick him up. Furious I got in the car in my jammies, he wasn't where he said he'd be and when I eventually tracked him down to his mates house the three of them were standing outside, continuing their wee sing song. Call it pregnancy hormones, lack of sleep or stress about the drive the next day I totally lost it and had a complete screaming fit at them all (thank god his mate lived quite rurally) which only really served to add to their giggling. DH got it in the neck even more the whole way home, to the point where I didn't really know what I was ranting about anymore and he was just sort of sitting silently looking a bit sheepish. Good.

I got my revenge the next day though, dragging a still very drunk DH all the way up north with me at 5am on his day off. I think having the passenger window wide open on the motorway sobered him up right enough. Needless to say, he hasn't been out since!!

So no nervous, I totally do not think you are being unreasonable whatsoever. Start plotting your revenge hehe!

Thank you valium and passme they originally were going to leave around midnight and I was okay with that but then he wanted to watch the next one and by the time it's finished and they've "chatted" about it it will be around 5am and that's what time he wants me to pick him up from
His mates, it's about £20 in a taxi trip so that's ridiculous. Yeh were both working tomorrow I'm up at 7 and he's up at half 11 so has a few hours extra sleep. There is no compromise he wants to watch it and of its not here then he'll go out my choice. Yeh that does help thank you :) I didn't no if I've over reacted this pregnancy makes me very emotional but a huge twix and some food will help soothe I'm sure :)

Thanks missmummy men hey! Good on you for getting your revenge. He will deffinatly be woken at 7 with the radio on, Baffin wardrobe doors and I have a suspicious feeling my dog is going to be very hypo on the bed next to him. Would be so horrable to have a jumping barking dog in your ear hole 2 hours after you've gotten in :) I'm not a bitch

YW friends of ours' little girl was born at 24+wks and has battled incredibly well, but despite being practically 18mths old, she is definitely developmentally behind, even, to a certain extent, what my DD was at the adjusted age. It isn't a short journey these little things go on...

Nervous YANBU at all. He is being a tad selfish & a lot inconsiderate. My DH was a bit of a plonker during my DD's pg. He went and got absolutely smashed at his work's Xmas do, got a late train back from London. Snow hit, train wasn't coming to our stop, so he phones me (apparently he tried a cab but he was too drunk...) I get in the car, drive through a snowstorm at 5mths pg, run around the station trying to find him. Ask staff etc as I'm worried he's gone off & will die in the snow. Can't get hold of him on his mobile. He's only forgotten he'd phoned me, got a cab home then started phoning my parents, & walking the streets looking for me, as he wondered where I was!!! Muppet.

Nervous YANBU. I would have an eppy. MissMummy that hissy fit sounded entirely reasonable (but awesome too!!!!) hahaha I like the way he had to get up with you at the crack of dawn. Nervous, if you think about what they're likely to spend on booze - a £20 taxi trip sounds bang on - rather than you having to get up!

Pass the alertness is bizarre to see as they are a lot more active than they would be in the womb (medical types am I right in thinking that there is some hormone in the fluid that sedates the little one?). One of the biggest side effects is a predisposition toward ADHD as when most babies are snoozing and sucking their thumbs, floating in the dark - premmies are surrounding by flashing lights, binging alarms, textures, voices, light etc. At the NICU where my niece was they used to put special dark glasses on them (I kid you not!) or pull their wee hats over their eyes and ears to try to create some calm for them.

And as for the name Willow, my sister chose it almost in the hope that one day it would be ironic - when faced with a tidgy two pounder, the thought of her being fat was wonderful! I think with her Daddy's genes it's unlikely but if she takes after me and my sister and our cake addictions... there is hope

TD I'm glad your ok. Has your work got the same policy of making you take mat leave early if you have sickness after a date??

As for the soaps including casualty, they are ridiculous! I stopped watching them along time ago.

I made a mistake about how long I have at work, it's 8 weeks on Monday. I'm finding working the mornings a killer.

I have made no father in getting the babies stuff, or the room.
Evil

Think I'd have actually punched him in the face! I'm not violent, promise If he wants to go out fair enough, but he has to find his own way home imo. I definitely wouldn't be gettin up out of bed to collect him in a drunken state at that time! X

I wouldn't pick him up lol but I'd have prob gone along with the game at home and told them to be quiet!!

I've not watched eastenders I did watch the cancer and radiotherapy story to see how badly they portrayed that. And it wasn't a very good job!! I want to get to as close to 40 weeks as I can!!! Both my sister and I were a couple if weeks early though, my sister a but earlier than me (younger) but not by much!

Shopping tomorrow :) Holiday Monday :)

2am. Been up with poxy one since 11.30. Perhaps that cream is not the miracle I thought it was. Given up trying to settle her, so come downstairs, put tv on and got food. At least she has stopped scratching with the distraction. Poor little thing.

chunkychicken thankyou for mentioning you feeling like you had throbbing bits (that sounds like a dodgy comment from me but it isn't, honest!) I have the same and knowing I am not the only one helps. I do feel like my bits are maybe a bit swollen. It's all so glamorous.

valium your little saying about a mummy being born too just made me cry a little bit, hormonal day for me :)

Also take any advice from other people that sounds right to you and ignore the rest we are all different and all babies are also different, my brother got really bogged down with advice and felt really quite annoyed with it all, he advised me to ignore all advice, but I just did not find people in RL offering me loads of advice so I didn?t get stressed like he did! I love being able to ask friends for advice as and when I have needed it.

I am lounging in bed (it's 11.30 am) and taking it easy. I am having slight niggly pains in my groin so I am resting. I often have a very osre groin in the morning, I guess thats just normal for this pregnancy.

Sorry you are sore Iheart. Hope it soon passes.

I am angry with DH. It is now 3.30am, so been up with sick child 4 hours now. Took her downstairs partly for my sanity, partly so we would not wake everyone else. He has just come down complaining she woke him up. I said he was lucky as I have been awake 4hours, he then said if he was not working, he would help. He is working 2 hours tomorrow, and when I work full time he never gets up to help with kids. Men! Grr!

Speaking of movements, I feel her every day but the movements are really low down. Is that right for 22 weeks? I read that the uterus has grown right up to our belly button at this stage yet she seems to be hanging out right down by my bladder/ cervix I've never felt kicks at the top ever.

DH depends on baby's position, probably kicking or punching in that direction. Also depends on your placenta postion.
My placenta in antierior and is at the from right so a feel movement down bellow and occasionally front left.

I agree about the Premie chat you are all having. I gave up watching eastenders at the still birth baby stealing story but I can imagine thier treatment of this this one.
I have a very good friend who's son was born at 25 weeks, he was strong and responsive but could'nt cope and only survived 10 days. It was the most burtal thing I have every experianced personally. My last pregancy was filled with fear until I was past about 36 weeks. The story has a happy ending. My friend had had to have IVF for her son and tried again, after a failed attempt she found out she was pregnant again, they only used one egg because of the risk after the first premature labour, well it split, she ended up very frightened and preganat with identical twins that now run rings around her! They were only 6 weeks premature, but stil had breathing problems well in to their first year everytime they caught a cold or virus, in and out of hospita all the time. It's not walk in the park not at all.
It's my biggest fear really.

lots to catch up - glad everyone is seeming ok, apart from the various aches and annoying DH's. Hope all aches subside soon, and that DH's come to their senses and realise you and your little ones need to be the priority right now!
I do think sometimes its hard for DH's to relate to the pregnancy stuff. After a crying fit of "you don't understand what its like" from me one night my DH bought a pregnancy book and now when I complain of things like backache he nods and says - yes that is normal. haha! but bless him for trying to understand. Though I do think he doesn't quite get that its not as simple as just getting a bit fatter - our bodies are changing in a million different ways and that can be tiring and painful sometimes.
We went to choose our buggy yesterday - narrowed it down to the Icandy peach which I love but I worry it seems quite small and as we grow chunky babys in my family it might outgrow each part very quickly. and our other choice is the Upperbaby vista, which is bigger and cheaper - but not as pretty as the icandy and doesn't manouver quite as easily . Anyone have any experience of either?
Those who have been to the next sale - is there much baby or maternity stuff in there?

valium MEN argh I agree. everytime I mention a pregancy ailment or my extreme pregnancy tiredness, it's I'm knackard too, ben at work all day or my whole body aches from this and that ect.. FFS I AM PREGNANT WITH YOUR CHILD. When I say that he (jokingly) says 'well you should have kept your knickers on'!!!!

mrswee that made me laugh!