Rats Successfully Smacked, the 'No Brookers' uneventful pregnancy and pain free birth thread :)

[MeconiumHappens]

Hello :)

I breast fed both my boys well into their 2 nd year and sort of let them self wean in their own time. I just had a bit of soreness but didn't know about lanisoh then! Def on my shopping list for this time. Just take each day as it comes. Best advice I 'twas given was to do night feeds laying down. Nice and warm and you can doze!
Just had my booking in visit with lovely midwife. I have my 20 week scan booked already and should get appointment for NF scan shortly. She took loads of blood(6 vials)! It wasn't too bad though. I will see her again at 16 weeks unless anything comes up in blood or urine.now I have a big folder of notes it feels abit more real:)

I monumentally failed at bf. By day 3 I was such a mess of coming down hormones and ds had a bit of jaundice and basically screamed his little head off whenever he was put near a boob, I tried and got so upset that I completely broke down about it. The lovely midwife who'd come round said to first try nipple shields and if that wasn't working to express (we'd been lent a little hand pump at that point) so I expressed for a couple of months and then slowly moved on to bottle feeding. I felt absolutely terrible guilt about failing to do it for a very long time afterwards. However I was so much calmer once I made the decision to move to expressing that I know it was the right choice at that time. This time round I fully intend to bf and am far more knowledgeable about where to get help but if i can't manage it, I know that it isn't the end of the world and that guilt does you no good. What your baby needs is a calm rational parent who takes the time to be with them and although breast is best, a nervous breakdown is the wrong way to go!

incidently when did you all book in/ let your gp know you were pg? I really can't remember how many weeks I was.

I never saw my GP, I just called the surgery to check they didn't need to see me, and they made me a mw appt for 8 weeks. But I know each area has their own procedures. Perhaps call your surgery?

Think I will do that next week. Thanks.

I phoned my surgery and said that I have just found out I'm pg, what do I need to do. They got me in to see the Dr who then referred me to the MW.

I phoned the surgery at about 5 weeks and they made me a doctor's appointment. I was told I was not allowed to see a midwife at that point! I think they all have different ways of doing things.

I hope you don't still feel guilty, Ninja, the early days are hard enough even without feeding problems. Perhaps we could add in some brooking no argument for trouble free bf for those who want it? I think your final sentance pretty much sums it up- nervous breakdowns definitely best avoided!

I popped into a charity shop this morning and got a coat, dress and a jumper, all pregnancy suitable, for about £15! Am very happy.

That sounds an absolute bargain foxtrot (I love your name btw it has a very good ring to it). How many weeks are you?

No I don't feel guilty anymore but it did stay with me for a long time. I think I eventually realised you have to be happy with the choices you make and it was right for us. Ds is now 4, frighteningly bright and inquisitive, and always on the go. I certainly don't think i did him an injustice.

You see I think it's bad that people are made to feel guilty at all about it. I am sure it's down to the media and mw pressure that people even say things like 'gave up' or 'failed'.

I think it's wrong that those terms are even applied in this scenario.

Just my little thought

(thats not saying you're wrong to say them Ninja, I mean it's the way the media and mws portray it as 'failing' that gets me)

I think in all honesty i put too much pressure on myself to do it which was part of the problem. And then those first few days when you are a whirlwind of hormones it all got a bit compounded and a couple of things were said by a (male) friend (who has since been distanced somewhat!) about how easy it was to do and that his dw had no problems. Still it doesn't matter now and it won't happen again so thats got to be a good thing.

I called the MW straight away this time, Ninja - must have been about 5 weeks. Last time I asked at the GP surgery and they sent me straight to the MWs anyway. I never saw a doctor.

Wants, I like the idea of feeding lying down! There was a picture of it in Bartlet's PGP leaflet and it looked so comfy that I showed DH and said that was going to be me.

Oops, forgot to refresh the page and missed the last 4 posts or so! Biscuits and Ninja, I agree about the being made to feel guilty thing. It's so personal and you shouldn't be browbeaten by society, and particularly not by rude men who know nothing! Grr on your behalf. I like the idea of adding in a bit of No Brooking for feeding, be it breast or bottle, Foxtrot.

I have to say, I was desperate to breast feed so it would have been me that felt I'd failed if I had. I think I had a relatively easy ride- it wasn't painfree at first- still got that toe curling feeling, and I always thought the let-down relflex was a bit painful, but it wasn't ever so agonising that I thought I'd stop. Apart from when I got mastitis twice from a bad latch at 7 and 8 ish months when I stopped feeding in the day because of that-agony!! I also surprised myself by, as a naturally prudish person, never giving a monkeys about feeding in public- if my child was hungry, I just fed her, where ever I was! So convenient. Though she never took a bottle. I did try at 6 weeks, but no chance. Ever.

My first day at work was ok, it felt totally over-whelming, but I think a big part of that was because I am so tired due to DD not going back in her cot for more than 45 minutes after 10:45 last night!!!! Loads of kids to see too- bit frightening. I just spent the day catching up on emails and reading notes. Longest I've sat down in 13 months

Too, glad you seem cheerful, assume all well with your bean.

Shall I find out what sex the twins are? I'm in 2 minds. We wouldn't have for a singleton, but twins seems different... Opinions anyone?

Any more poos on the potty biscuits? He probably doesn't want you to think you've got it sorted so quick though

Ah thank you for the poo interest Dream [hsmile]

As you ask, he had an accident this morning but then remembered there were treats for poos in the potty and has just in the last 10 minutes produced one so that I am forced to give him a sugary treat right before bedtime! That child knows what he's up to [hwink]

No, seriously, I'm pleased that there was another success today - it just rounds the day off nicely and reminds him what he's supposed to be doing.

I do hope he stops wanting chocolate buttons / jelly babies for poos before he's sort of 15........

Hmm, tricky one on the sex thing.... I really don't know what I'd do. You're right it does seem different for twins somehow! If for nothing else than if they're the same sex you have to think of two names! Whereas we only need one boy / one girl name.

Dream, hope you get more sleep tonight! I would find out the sex, but I am the sort of person who always wants to know in advance, and I have already asked to find out when the more detailed amnio results come back. Biscuits is right about it being trickier to find 2 names that you and DH both like, that go with your surname, your DD's name and each other. I need to know which sex Bean is so I can get serious about names. So far I am stuck on Wolfie for a boy, which started off as a joke and which I now can't get out of my head. I know I can't actually name a child Wolfie, especially when it is really pronounced Vulfie (for one thing, it would sound ridiculous with our surname), but I can't think of a viable name that I like better.

Biscuits, hurray for the excellent potty work! at DS wanting chocolate buttons for pooping.

Bean just poked me! I had just finished crying on DH's shoulder (think it is the relief) and Bean poked me right in the middle of my tummy, very low down. Clever Bean!

My bean poked me in the eye last night. Not some kind of in utero miracle or hallucination through sleep deprivation, we all still call her the Bean, or Her Beaniness, or That Bean, depending what she's been up to!!!

Hmmm, names will definitely be an issue...

Your DS sounds very smart Biscuits. He saved that right until the end of the day to get chocolate before bed. I'm impressed.

Hmmm dream decisions decisions. I know what you mean about finding out the gender because it's twins. It does seem different somehow. You know I'm not finding out the sex of this baby, as I didn't with DS and I know you didn't with your DD either. But twins? I don't know. If the only reason to find out early is because you want to know then I'm going to say don't. I love the whole wondering what will it/they be thing as you probably did with your DD.

If however you really think it would be best to know in terms of practicalities and you think that it would help with preparations then go for it. Me personally, I probably still wouldn't but I know I'm old-fashioned when it comes down to it. It's a very personal thing and everyone has valid reasons for finding out/not finding out. What does your DH think?

Scarlet possibly smart or perhaps showing early signs of a chocolate addiction most likely inherited from me

at Dream

Hello everyone! My internet broke again. Sigh.

I come back and there is great news all round! Too I am absolutely delighted for you! I really am :)

And a new BFP Ninja Welcome!

Now breastfeeding that is something I know a little about
I am a breastfeeding peer supporter, I am training to become a practitioner and I fed DD for two years.

If you have a CS you can have skin to skin in the theatre, you just need to ask.
The key things with skin to skin straight away is that it helps baby regulate their temperature. Your chest will act as a warming plate, and adjust its temperature so that your baby is the right temperature.
The skin to skin position, often with them more upright helps the mucous in their nose drain away. If you have them on their back (I.e standard cradle hold) then this can lead to feeding issues a couple of days later as they are snuffly, so the fluid draining off is really useful. If you can't do skin to skin then DP can, if he can't, then holding baby more upright will be a great help.

If for whatever reason breastfeeding is delayed try and hand express within the first 6 hours, don't panic also if baby doesn't latch right away there is actually a grace period with BF (40-50hrs), so plenty of skin to skin.
When introducing/getting it going there is nothing better than Biological Nurturing. I think there is some good vids on youtube. etc

Also, before you have baby, it is a really good idea to find out about support/groups in your area you can go to for help or meeting other bf mums. Children's centres are a good place to look. These groups can be invaluable, often HV can be a tad disappointing in their advice, so I would definitely advice finding people who actually know what they are talking about...

Sorry for the essay, I am quite passionate about BF not in judgemental you bottle fed your baby way, more that I want the mums who want to breastfeed to have the support they need. I feel very :( when a Mum hasn't had the support and is upset years later.

Also, you do know you don't have to see your HV? Do a couple of appointments and then forget about them, so much better than putting up with a mad one!

I hope my internet actually keeps working, it is like losing a limb when it keeps going!

On another thread I read ' A nurse with a set of scales does not a parenting expert make' about HV's. Too true!!! They are pretty much all OTT and mad (according to my 2 paediatrician friends who say they've never heard such twaddle from a health professional), and give loads of advice with absolutely NO evidence behind it that often stresses mothers out. Luckily, I knew this before DD was born so never listened to a word they said . I did meet one sensible one- when DD had dropped more than 2 centiles with her weight and our HV was having a proper flap and trying to medicalise us, she looked at her, weighed her and said NEVER let a HV near her again, the child is just perfect, forget any meds! My absolute, all time fave HV. And totally right. We never saw one again til her 9 month check when she had then not been weighed etc for more than half her life .

scarlet, I think the shock of twins and the shock of 3 so little is enough... If I was definitely going to go for VB I'd need the surprise to get me through. 60% of twins are section though, according to my Healthy Multiple Pregnancy booklet. As it is, I'm not sure, and I see the consultant next Thursday so I'll wait and hear her advice then decide re:finding out sexes. When the midwife came- and we all know how anti-section they are in the majority- she amazed me by saying she thought a section was a good option to consider for me given my last birth and it being twins etc etc and talked positively about section recovery. I was . And that kind of makes a difference to me too- with the clinical, super-medical section a possibilty, it's just not the same as me, DH and a midwife meeting our first baby for the first time... I'll see what the consultant says.

Now purple, you will be a useful person to know!!! I do know a bf peer supporter in RL too. She was helpful with DD and tried to sort out our latching problems.

Oh and thanks fishcake, that's the triple recommended on here by lots of the twins and toddler mums. Looks whopping and it's so expensive though... Do you know where your childminder got it from? and how much!? (bit cheeky but worth an ask...) Seen a couple on ebay, but the one with the reclining toddler seat I liked was going for £900 second hand!!!!! PLus it was collection only from down south. Mybe i'm looking for it in the wrong places...

I have a question - are any second (plus) timers thinking of doing ante natal classes again?

We did NHS and NCT last time and I met some super lovely people through the NCT one, but not sure I could justify the expense again. Although we have moved and they run an NCT course in our village so potentially I could meet some other local Preggos. But then if they are all first timers I wondered whether I'd find it hard to fit in, or do as much with them what with having to do things with DS?

Just wondered what your thoughts were.....

I am not bothering, I do the breastfeeding antenatal myself, and that would be my only reason for going again. (And I would have) I have given birth and know how to bathe a baby so it would be a bit of a yawn fest.
I think you can opt in for certain sessions so you could discuss this with your MW if there was something in particular?

If you wanted to meet fellow preggos some of your local groups might have bumps welcome? Our local BF cafe has bumps welcome. :)

Oh and thanks Dream I am always happy to answer questions :)