Rats Successfully Smacked, the 'No Brookers' uneventful pregnancy and pain free birth thread :)

[MeconiumHappens]

Hello :)

Just chiming in to suggest that if someone tells you that pregnancy is not an illness, you should say "No, it's much more important than that". They'll probably tut at you even more after that but if they're that stupid that they refuse to cut you any slack then it really doesn't matter if you wind them up even more

Good luck with scans and Dream - seriously, do take it easy.

Morning all!

Dream, is it worth talking to your HR people about your workload during pregnancy? They're meant to adapt things to make it suitable for you to continue your job - or adapt your duties. If this means having someone extra around to help you, then they should do that - or only giving you younger children, or whatever!

Scream, great plan :D

Purple congratulations on your blue bean! How exciting (and odd!) to see so much!

We're struggling on boys names. We have lots of girls names, but not many boys ones! Think we might find out at the moment... although we're not going to narrow it down to one name beforehand (worried the time will come and I'll think the name's wrong!).

Dizzy, sorry to hear about your MS. Mine is getting considerably worse - urgh - not impressed. Hoping I'm not one of these that gets afflicted throughout pregnancy, but what with rapidly approaching the end of the first trimester (12w+3 today) it's a bit of a worry...

Only one more working day til the weekend, and then scan first thing Monday.. hurrah! Then I have to work out how I'm going to tell all my schools about being PG... funfun. Yes, Biscuits, 12 weeks for me - well, nearer 13! Very excited (with a tad bit of worry on top!). How exciting that you may have felt the first movements too, yay! I'm betting on anterior placenta...

A quick q about maternity leave - working preggos - have you already decided how many days a week you will go back after the baby's born? Did you have to commit in advance to get higher payments? And do you worry about finding chilcare afterwards? At the moment I'm thinking I may commit to going back just two days a week, which I think will be manageable, and guarantees me a lot more money during ML - we don't need it, but will be helpful. Worried about finding childcare when the time comes though - is it usually an easy ish process? I've obviously been searching online for providers in my area, but it's still slightly worrying! Want to commit to what I'm doing quite soonish, so the service know (they'll need to cover some of my teaching permanently, so want to give them time to manage that!), so I want to give them lots of notice...

dream your employers have a duty of care to make sure that you are not doing anything at work that puts your babies at risk. Please speak to your HR department and arrange a health and safety assessment asap. If they fail to support you and you are still suffering like this, please get yourself signed off sick. I know it's horrible worrying about what colleagues think, but really it's irrelevant. You and your babies are far more important.

Sympathies to all those with morning sickness. Yuk.

Looking forward to Monday's scanathon updates already.

purple I love Hugo! Great name. I'm busy thinking of another boys name and girls names now :-) Also like your plan scream.

The work thing is hard. I will ask for a risk assesment, and my manager will say don't do it- do no demonstrating, get the child's support assistant or the classroom teaching assistant to help you. And I'll go and see the child, who wont have a statement or support, and the teaching assistant will be taking a small group for numeracy etc etc and I'll be with some child who has no idea what I want them to do without a demonstration, and its abandon the session or get on with it and I feel bad for them to miss out so i get on with it... Well, that was last time. But i wasn't getting strong braxton hicks at 16 weeks last time.. . It's almost easier with the more physically disabled children as they do have full time support but I don't have enough hours to do more of them justice. So tricky but will see what work say.

Oh, and sorry musical, missed your post. If its any consolation I was awful, worse week 12-14 and much, much better now. I hope its just a bad week. I have only been sick 2 or 3 times this whole week. It stopped suddenly...

Bring on the scanathon!!!

dream I can email you a copy of my company's risk assessment policy if you need to compare. I work at a hospice which is not the same (i'm not on the medical side either) but they take into account lifting patients and all that goes with it.
Have just checked my paperwork and we get assessed for
manual handling (pushing/ pulling loads, lifting, bending, stretching, awkward/ prolonged postures, kneeling)
work involving prolonged standing and/ or awkward poses
objects likely to cause slips/ trips/ falls
work involving forceful or repetitive movements
exposure to infectious agent
exposure to chemicals
violence and aggression
exposure to ionising radiations
exposure to non ionising radiations
psychologically demanding work/ stress
exposure to extreme hot or cold temps
work with machinery/ equipment listing associated hazards
working at height
working hours - excessive hours/ shifts/ run-on shifts/ lack of breaks & facilities

I know not of all these relate to whatever it is you do but if you work with children you need to be physical with then you should be assessed for at least some of these.

I thought MS had pretty much gone, but it is back. All week I have been feeling nauseous and not known what to eat, just had breakfast and it is not sitting well. Bleurgh. Still better than what it was, but still.

Music I have childminders, they are a husband and wife team, for DD and really I looked for someone who I liked. Nursery wasn't really an option and I preferred DD to have the same people caring for her.
Over a year on she has a good bond with them and especially their young daughter who was DDs first friend. It wasn't too hard to find but you do need a couple of months to think about what sort of care you want and then find the right place for your baby. I think it is harder in some areas to get childcare than others. This website is great.
As far as I know Maternity pay should only be based on what you have earned so far, not what hours you are going to return to once you have had baby.

Dream I think you do still need to prioritise you and your babies and perhaps request someone extra to support the kids who don't have the individual support. I can understand feeling bad about not being able to support them in the way usually do, I think I would to, but it is just not worth the risk.

I am glad you like Hugo I know some people think it is a bit posh but I am not, there is some neg associations and DH is juts not that keen but tough!

Dream your babies come first. If that means some people in work get upset then tough, you have to give priority to your family. Your body is trying to tell you that. If you don't then I will track you down and give you a big kick up the bum!

My scan is at 10 on Monday

Music - all ml pay is based on salary and hours now not at return. You are under no obligation to decide anything now. Your employer is legally obliged to keep your job open for you for 9 months - 12 months. Then you can discuss coming back or change of terms and conditions.
I started my own business post ml (went back for 4 months part time and then company got bought out) and work 2 days a week as a freelance consultant. DD goes to nursery and I have been very pleased with it. I think you just 'know' when you visit the right place with them. You have to go with gut instinct alongside research really.

oh and dream its all very well doing a risk assessment but your company must actually do something about the findings or they could be in very serious trouble for negligence.

I have a cheesy name change to go with my Pramhun status. :o
I have a similar risk assessment at work also and definitely a gut instinct thing, I loved how affectionate the childminders are with the kids, you wouldn't know they weren't a family group tbh and that was perfect for me.

Just got back from the docs, was really hoping I would get some pills as they told me I needed to see someone this week. Instead I get told that MS normally goes by 14 weeks so no point giving me anything now :( Just to add to that, as I was going he turned and said, by the way, twin pregnancies tend to mean more sickness. Um, yeah, thanks for that!

jen, I am shocked at how badly you are feeling. My doctors really have been supportive and have given my two different anti-emetics, without which I couldn't have managed (in the rather pathetic way I have 'managed') over the last few weeks. I am really cross on your behalf.

Thanks for the comforting replies - finding a childminder sounds a little less scary now. Definitely want that - the personal touch - over a nursery..

With regard to maternity leave, need I have a detailed look at the literature I've been given. However, I believe that for this particular employer, I'm eligible for SMP as standard. As I've worked for them for over a year, I am also entitled to half pay for 20 weeks -but only if I guarantee to go back for 3 months. If I take it but decide not to go back, I think I have to pay it back...

I will double check later, but I think that's the case. It's a zero hours contract - I'm on a timesheet and if I don't teach I don't get paid, so maybe that's why it's odd. It's also worth mentioning that I have four jobs - three employers plus self employment. Could be confusing...

Jen, shocked they've treated you so badly! Are there any other doctors at the surgery you could see..?

Oooh, Jen more twins!!!! I'd been so sick with dd I thought it could be twins and was a bit disappointed when it wasn't!!!! This time, though more sick, if anyone (as Dh did multiple times as he likes to point out) said maybe its twins I thought don't be ridiculous, we've been here before!!! Be fab if you're cooking twins too :-) Do hope your ms eases and should you wish for an illegal sharing of prescription medicine I'll send you a thing of prochloperazine. I've stopped taking it.

Haven't stopped puking though. We've gone up to the Lakes today and i had to leap out of the car and vom with gusto in front of about 12 people Sick 3 times today and think I've not stopped yet... Still miles more manageable than a few weeks ago though so I'm grateful for that.

I will definitely get a proper risk assessment, and make sure those points are covered ninja, and then I must stick to it!!! Even if it means ringing parents to say I couldn't complete sessions... . No work today and no BH so far- or nothing on the scale of yesterday that freaked me out a lot bit

Sorry to hear MS has returned for some people! Looking forward to the next scanathon on Monday and wishing it was mine
I am now in my qualifying months for Calculating my smp so working a few extra hours here and there to boost my first 6 weeks of MP! I am due to have my assessment at work soon too. My job is pretty active and does involve lifting and bending so some allowances will need to be made.

All you people that are entitled to MP are so lucky. I'm only going to be able to get MA, the joys of being made redundant. Only temping at the mo so even if someone does take me on I won't be entitled to MP and won't be allowed to take up to a year off

jen - Your gp sounds extremely unhelpful - could you contact your mw and ask her advice? MS doesn't always disappear at 14 weeks he is talking rubbish.

I got a letter today with a date for a 24 week scan. I thought I was just seeing the consultant at 24 weeks and the next scan was at 28 weeks. I am veering between being delighted at having an extra scan and worried that it means the doc saw my 20 week scan measurements and notch issue and thinks it needs investigating. 2 weeks to wait to find out as well!

Can't wait for the scanathon! I hope everyone who's suffering with ms at the moment feels better soon. Mine is very on and off at the mo, puked my guts up on wed but was fine yday. Overall I'd say it's getting better though, fingers crossed it'll all be gone by 16 weeks!

I'm also very at Jen's doctors! They have no medical reason for not giving you the support you need, they just think you should suffer a bit longer! Ridiculous! I'd def get a second opinion if I was you.

Not sure what I'm going to do childcare wise, but even though I'm taking my full year's maternity leave I actually need to register my LO for a nursery from now! The nurseries near me are so over subscribed people now sign up from 12 weeks! It's crazy, and I haven't got round to it yet. Will just put LO down for the nearest ones with good reps to keep my options open, and make a decision nearer the time when I see which ones offer me a place. It's insane though. We're really REALLY near one of the best boy's prep schools in the country as well, and we've been advised to sign up for there at 12 weeks as well! Given the £100 deposit we're going to wait until after the gender scan at least. It's all so insane and I hate getting caught up in it, but at the same time I hate the idea of deciding in the future that I want a particular nursery or school and not being able to get in because I didn't follow the advice early on. Gotta love SW London!

Scream if that is where I think it is you must be only a few miles from me! Are you near R. Park? (appreciate it if you don't want to say!)

I was so worried about that the last time that I called a few nurseries at 36 weeks when I started mat leave, none of whom got back to me until, you've guessed it, two days after the birth . This time around I'm not even looking at nurseries or childminders until Bean is safely here. I realise this is not a sensible option for those in really busy areas like London, though, so please ignore my non-Brooking pessimism!

I have been shopping! Bean now has an adorable stuffed zebra and two sweet little fleecy babygros. I have a new pair of boots, some books and 2 pairs of maternity tights.

Too, I can't imagine how hard that would have been for you. We are however Brooking for you so all will be well this time.

I have been doing a bit of shopping too and the parcel arrived today. I have a gorgeous winter coat from JojoMamanBebe and a lovely dress to wear at DH's Christmas party.

oh too, how awful.... I didn't either. And luckily got pg again so my parents roped in til I'm off again . I saw 2 sweet teddies today, but didn't dare buy yet in another moment of pessimism...

What a shame jen, will you be able to afford much time off then?

ooh, bartlet, did you get the red one?

I just got given a hand me down mat coat which I don't love at all, but it's free, and I would rather buy nice tops than a coat...

Hurray for parent childcare Dream! Even though I know it's too early to be talking about things like that, I couldn't help myself and ended up asking my Mum if she'd be willing to consider helping out when I go back to work more than slightly premature! On the plus side though she was completely up for it! Yay! She's agreed to do one day a week, which means when I go back to work on four days a week my LO will only have to be in nursery for 3 days a week. My little sister is also dying to look after her baby DN but has conveniently forgotten she'll be rather busy with her GCSEs by then!