Nov 2011 - almost time to push!

[TerrysNo2]

Last thread was full so thought I would just start this one off - hope you don't mind as I know I've not been a regular but god forbid you guys having nowhere to chat ;)

Right, caz what's happening, I am stalking you all over the shop and need more news :)

Cali! That's insane.

Good luck Kelly! How exciting!

Lizzy What a rubbish time you've had! Hope you'll be back at home soon, and that the boy stays in a little longer till he's fully cooked!

Cali Contact the head of Midwifery at the hospital you're booked at and make/threaten to make a complaint - your midwife is not suppose to refer to social services until she has explicitly discussed it with you and gotten approval from the Head. I had this happen with my eldest (I had a very vindictive midwife), went to make a complaint, got sent to the top of the chain and discussed everything and my case was closed by her (though it wasn't officially closed until after a post-birth in-hospital visit from the social worker due to procedures, she made sure it got closed asap and the midwife was dealt with without my needing to deal with her again).

Not Thank you for that - I didn't know there was anything I could do!
I'm also going to ask to see my "other" notes - I had a BP monitoring today, and after the pre-eclampsia stand-off with the a**y registrar I've had a noticeably different treatment by the midwives -and not in a good way - I suspect there's a "difficult patient" note in there...

cali I am outraged on your behalf. Under no circumstances does you being on medication automatically require you to be seen by children's services. If the MW felt that the referral would be beneficial for you rather than asking you to sign a multi-disciplinary form they should have discussed the referral explicitly with you and advised you the reasoning behind her thoughts.

Despite that the MW may have felt that due to the medication you are at higher risk of post-natal depression and thus require additional support; children's services tend to have more time and resources to support you to ensure that your mental health remains stable and doesn't deteriorate IYSWIM. Take the support from children's services as a positive in that you have additional support and someone extra to gain information from - you are not being considered as a "bad mum" before you have started.
Whatever her intentions the MWs way of handling the situation was wrong and you are well within your rights to complain.
Big internet HUGs xx

Lizzy hope that the contractions ease and that you are able to have a planned c-sec rather than an EMCS. It may not be the birth that you had expected or planned but it is the safest for you and baby; rest up and know that you have done the best that you can ensuring the safe arrival of your little bundle.

Kelly Good luck, hope that all goes well with your labour and a safe arrival of baby xx

voodoo HUGs, it is such a shame that the MWs are hiding behind their policies rather than looking at things more holistically. I hope that you manage to come to a decision that is right for you and one that makes you feel most at ease.

snoozle I am another who is adamant about car seat safety...it frustrates me that people can be so flipant with the safety of their children - as has been said you may be a considerate driver but you cannot guarantee that those around you are the same. I have a rearward/forward facing car-seat that is permenantly in the car; with DS I found that it was a lot easier than securing a car-seat each journey. I would have no problem a MW checking that it was in the car for baby though. I do think it is rediculus though that they try to demand a car seat for people who do not own a car/never travel by car.

kate I had temporary treatment (with aneasthetic) when pregnant with DS and some permenant prior to knowing I was pregnant this preg I've had to have some temp treatment but they managed to do it without aneathetic. Definitely see the dentist.

Bump The post-natal depression/psychosis (I'm at higher risk because of my OCD) has always been on the cards and discussed extensively with consultants and my GP - it's clearly stated in my notes that I've asked for referral to my mental health team even before birth - so if she was worried I'd say no she'd obviously not read my notes!

I'm just outraged that I wasn't told what had happened, but it slowly dawned on me when the lady introduced herself at the visit - I then had to google "multi-agency referral" to actually realise what had been done.

I, like most new first time mums, want support and help - I even realise I will most likely need it, but I don't want to be "in the system" - it's very hard to get out once you're in.

cali as the MW didn't explain what the referral meant then you didn't give your "informed consent" and thus the MW has done it without your consent. Even in cases of suspected child abuse (and thus more in need of referral than you) the person making the referral "should fully inform the parents prior to the referral unless it is likely to result in further harm/detriment of the child" (have recently been on my child protection training at work).

As for being "in the system", it is possible to get out quickly; there is no reason (from what you have said since I have "known" you on the thread) that your case will not be closed pretty quickly - being a sensible women, who is aware of her needs and limitations (which is how you come across to me) they should not have any further concerns.

I cannot believe that they have given you this added stress just at a time when you do not need it. (I am useless with words at times; but mainly want to tell you not to worry and that I can totally understand your frustration).

I cannot believe the difference in care between areas; if you hadn't mentioned about the complications of anti-d's in late pregnancy I wouldn't have known that much. Yet saying that, despite being on the meds the consultant is pro-actively encouraging a homebirth for me despite the risk of withdrawl whereas yours wants you to be monitored for 24hrs post-birth. My MW has been supportive and at most reffered me to the mental health team and once on meds the consultant but neither without long open discussions with me first.

I want to send you bug hugs and encourage you to complain about the way that the referral was handled.

bump It is astounding how different care is in different places - and at different times! Last time, how I wanted to give birth was discussed at the booking in appointment (though nothing would be firm until 36 weeks, there was a big HOMEBIRTH paper on top of my file) whereas this time, I'm 35 weeks and it hasn't even been brought up by my midwife at all!

hi all!!

Welcome Xander!!! Such fantastic news. Big hugs and smiles for Caz and Jon, and if he'd been just 3oz heavier he'd have been four times the weight of Willow. Crikey that is one almighty 36 weeker. Well done Caz!!
Voodoo my lovely I'm so sorry you're having all this horrid stress, over an arbitrary quirk of the MLU's entry policy. That sucks. But if it's any consolation I had Willow in a hospital that's so old and dreary and knackered its shutting in January and moving to a swish new site. But the staff are amazing. Outstanding. With DS I had him in a swish new hospital, but the staff were, well pretty ropey. I would pick DD's hospital again and again and again. It's the people who support you that make the difference to your birth. It's for that reason DD's birth was actually healing to me, despite being a huge clusterfuck whereas I'll always be sad about the flashbacks from DS's arrival.
Taxis and carseats legally taxis are exempt from the carseat legislation until a child is 3 years old. And so are all cars in an emergency situation. Trust me, we checked and checked and checked this with DS as we didn't have a car so were too tight environmentally conscious to buy a carseat! We took him home in a cab strapped to my hubby in a sling, with my hubby wearing a seatbelt on underneath DS and the sling. This time we're going to be borrowing a carseat to go with our old banger of an emergency car. But carseats are not without their own safety issues. Especially for newborns. Willow has to pass the carseat challenge before she can go home in anycase. They put newbies in horrid postures for breathing and premmies are particularly vulnerable so shouldn't be in one for longer than an hour or so max. She'll have to sit in one for 90 mins, wired up to heart monitors, to check its not dangerous for her, before they'll even let us out the door. After that I'll be slinging her and carrycotting her all the way as I'll be far too scared of the carseat!
Lizzy am so glad they were able to stop labour at 34 weeks. It must be so frustrating for you to be stuck in hospital but even a couple of extra weeks to 36 weeks will make such a huge difference for the baby. With our 8 weeks here in the neonatal nursery I've seen lots of 36 weekers go with only a couple of days stay. With a 34 weeker it's always at least a week if not 10 days... and while you're together with bubs in hospital now, if you were to deliver you'd have to go home without her. :( which is horrid.
Knockedup and other threatened sections I was so anti them after my emcs after DS's marathon labour and my resultant stint in HDU but if you have a section after a very brief labour like DD, or indeed none at all like planned sections, my goodness its a totally different animal! I was off painkillers by day four or five and running from home to hospital and chasing after DS shortly after. No one needed to fetch or carry for me at all after i got out of hospital on day 4. Just as well as no one offered
Kelly Good luck!!!!!!

Baby Girl Kettle born at 10:55pm in the kitchen at home

7lb 4oz, mum& baby doing super (although I feel like I've been kicked in the bits by a horse!

Just feeding in bed & drinking tea

Congratulations Kelly!!! Great news! Xx

Kelly!!

Poppet I am really impressed at your hospital. Nobody checked on Sylvie-Rose's ability to be in a car-seat and I worried all the way home. Makes me wonder......

kelly congrats!! What great news! Hope you enjoy every minute of snuggles!

cali being responsible and taking care of a condition (with meds if necessary) shouldn't flag you as irresponsible or put you 'in the system'!! You'd think logically it would be the opposite. I think its outrageous as well!

Been having AF cramps periodically (morning and night). Had them all last night and they kept waking me up, but I don't think that they are coming in waves (like contractions would?!) Baby has really dropped down so could this be my body getting ready? Anyone else had this before labour started?

36+4

Kelly that's great news. Hope you are taking it easy and enjoying cuddling your new baby.

Congratulations Kelly gad to hear you & baby are doing well. Hope you managed to get some rest & enjoy those baby snuggles xx

Congratulations Kelly glad all went so well for you :)

goldmaple I've been having them randomly since about Tuesday, mixed with a couple of spawns in my back. No idea it it's normal or not but on the odd occasion they almost seem to take my breathe away for a nanosecond.

Oh wow congrats Kelly! That's wonderful! Hope you and baby kettle are doing well and have had a night of snuggles and some sleep.
Poppet, thank you, it's really helping to get other peoples perspectives.
Clearly did too much yesterday, back is sore again today. Couldn't get comfy in bed last night as the baby wouldn't stay still!
Cali for what little I know about this sort of thing inagree with what bump said about the lack of informed consent. Even if social services were to come then i also agree they would see a new mum who was aware of potential issues and who has put measures in place to address this if necessary. Don't be hard on yourself or let it stress you, this whole pregnancy thing is stressful enough!
36+6 today!

Congratulations to caz and Jon. Excellent news. So pleased for you.

Congratulations kettle on the birth of mini kettle. Let us know when you decide on a name. so exciting.

Gold, i randomly get aches and pains which remind me of period. Only difference is that they don't go away. Best part of contractions is that there are breaks in between them.

I'm 37 weeks today - full term!!

Congratulations Kelly! Welcome to the world Baby Kettle. So pleased for you all.

Morning! thanks for the warm wishes.

Had a lovely sleep with baby snuggled into my arm

I will post birth story later.

Good luck to all those with niggles. I had niggles turn into ctx every 15 mins at 2;30am yesterday. I just couldn't really believe it was labour.

Still no name. DH just doesn't like any (obv convinced it was a boy!) xx

Kelly Yay! Baby! Well done on home birth and so pleased you're enjoying your first days snuggled up in bed!

Now I just wish my contractions would get more fruitful - my body is getting really tired, and I've spent the past two days either passed out on the sofa or shivering in bed. All in all good signs that I'm getting tired etc. but I can feel my energy reserves going fast.
At the BP monitoring yesterday they told me they were too far between to be established labour, but the registrar promised me that if I arrive for my assessment on Tuesday and they're still there but going nowhere they'll help things along for me (Tuesday was my induction assessment date anyway).

Thank you all for the encouragement re: the referral - I'm going to talk to the midwives on Tuesday to see what they say.

Congratulations Kelly! Great news, can't wait to hear more when you are up to typing the story. I have the kitchen earmarked for our hoped for homebirth so hope I can follow your lead.

Can I ask some advice, I had a bit of on upset stomach yesterday and a lot of pain in my bump when walking etc so took it really easy for the afternoon and evening but I've been feeling less movements from the baby. There are some movements but they feel less vigorous than usual ifkwim. Do you think its just changed position or something? It feels a bit dramatic to go into the hospital when I can feel it moving, just want some reassurance I think! 36 weeks today.

Mash Always call the assessment unit if you're worried! I had a little weep in the hospital on Thursday because I felt silly being in the ANU for a second night in a row, but rest assured that you're just making sure. Never feel bad about going in for monitoring!

Congrats Kelly - our first successful homebirth, hopefully the first of many!! (Am I the only one who thought, for a short moment, that you had named her Kettle)

mashpot I have been having waves of nausea (and the other) and apparently those things along with baby moving down are signs things are getting ready but I don't think it means imminently. As usual, who knows!!

37+2