Nov 2011 - almost time to push!

[TerrysNo2]

Last thread was full so thought I would just start this one off - hope you don't mind as I know I've not been a regular but god forbid you guys having nowhere to chat ;)

Right, caz what's happening, I am stalking you all over the shop and need more news :)

Jacks I thought it HAD to be a car seat - legally you can't take them in a car at all unless in a suitable car seat.

Voodoo We did the horizontal last night to see if things would pick up - yup, bit stronger pains and tightenings this morning! Let's see if it lasts... Going in for BP profile this morning, may ask for internal to get a gauge on the situation.
I feel close to going though, if it makes sense. Bit like when pregnant animals start lying down a bit more and panting slowly (I grew up with a crazy cat/dog lady for a mother so I may be the only one who knows what I mean)...

apologies in advance for a completely self involved post. I'm at the hospital for monitoring, have been since 230 on Friday morning, and am completely exhausted after having regular contractions every 5 minutes since 830 Thursday evening. I'm only 34
weeks, so still a bit early for labour so midwife told me to come in for monitoring. All initial signs said baby was head down, like I've been told since 24 weeks, and consultant said fully engaged and ready to go. He was happy for me to continue labour naturally, but there was no cot free in neonatal, i needed to be sent to
another hospital, 30 miles away. They put me on a drip to stop the contractions while i was on the move, which worked pretty much instantly, but made me throw up for Britain. I was told the ambulance was coming at 9 am to take me, didn't hear anything until 10, when they said a cot had become available so i didn't need to go anywhere. At 1 the consultant returned and told the midwives to take the drip out quick, just in case labour stopped altogether, which it did. I was sent for a scan and told that baby isn't head down, he's breech, with his feet stuck in the opening of my cervix, meaning he certainly can't turn, so i would need a aadpapgamaaacaesarian if and when i go back into labour. I'm being kept in, still with random contractions, and a couple of bloody shows, but no dilation of the cervix. I'm bored me being in hospital, and really don't want to wait here for am inevitable caesarian for however long it takes. If they hadn't put me on the drip i would probable have a baby by now, but it probably would have been an emergency when they realised it was feet not a head
coming first. I'm sure this is probably for the best, but it just feels so horribly medicalised. I have been told i am not going home until the contractions stop or I've had the baby, that could be weeks yet! I don't even know what i want for the best. A very large, and probably very selfish part of me just wants him out, but that probably isn't the best for him. I also have been diagnosed with obstetric choleostasis, which explains the itching, and possibly the early labour. Not pleasant, but not serious. Just need to be patient, not good at that.

Voodoo perhaps see if you can have a chat to a CLU midwife to see what you can do to improve things if you do go there - with DS I needed to be on CLU but the MWs were very sympathetic of my active birth wishes for as long as was possible - ie lights dimmed, my music on, just my MW in the room as much as possible, bed pushed out of the way until needed so I had space to move, use ball etc. Sounds like you're not going to need much monitoring so could try and recreate a MLU environment (albeit a slightly tired, not wonderfully refurbed one!). Maybe a compromise you can come to terms with. I also find that being in labour made me very inward focussed so actually I wasn't particularly aware of my environment.

Lizzy it prob doesn't feel like it but you are in the best place for both you and baby. Yes, you could be in for a couple of weeks so can you get people to visit, do you have an iPad or iPhone? I love reading so would have my head stuck in a book. My fave is time travellers wife which is a lovely story.

Do you need to write a list of things to be done for DH/dp to do whilst you are in hospital?

If having cs, have you got big pants and over the bump trousers? You'll need these for after, they don't rub your scar. Also you'll need nightdresses rather than pjs as you will prob have catheter after op.

jacks car seat in taxi will be fine. What one do you have? Ours is a maxi cosi cabrio and you can attach it with a seat belt. We had to bring car seat into ward so mws could check we had one and showed us how to use it. They would not have discharged me without seeing it.

folic I would say a snowsuit would be too hot for baby. Like Cali said a fleecy baby gro would be fine. Next do some. Or layers would work as well. Your body temp will keep baby toasty just remember a hat and something for hands (scratch mitts).

Facebook I have quite a few friends abroad so I put a few photos up so they can see DD. Also for relatives who live further away. I remove them after a certain amount of time. I had one friend who took a photo a week for first year, quite sweet to see the changes in baby.

voodoo I would talk to head mw of mlu and state your case. Emphasise you are getting stressed and upset over this and really do not want to give birth in clu. Say it's not the positive attitude you want to go I to labour with and wld be most relaxed at mlu. Also use mrsA infamous phrase 'is this hospital policy or specific to me'.

lizzy i know only too well the frustrations of being stuck in hospital when you dont want to be, including the 'shall we shant we' move you because of the NICU bed situation (and i too am the least patient person on the planet). So first of all a big un MN-ey hug (because we seem to be quite good at them on this thread.) Secondly, know you are doing awesomely (I just made that word up) since you've been dealing with this for 2 days now. 3rdly - what moosey said, you're in the best place (as is your baby right now) and as hard as it is mentally and physically he will come when the time is right (and in the manner which is right - as hard as that is when its not what you had thought). I tried my best to distract myself with my kindle, magazines, going for short walks around the ward, watching the rubbish in the day room etc etc - anything to distract me. Oh, and of course posting on here if you can! Sending you even though you cant have them and for when LO does make an appearance.

Oooh Lizzy I'm really quite annoyed by your treatment! Just try to relax - your baby may surprise you and turn - hands and knees deep breathing to give them as much room as possile - bum high in the air will help buba disengage his feet.

Voodoo I have gone through exactly what you are going through. I have a similar BMI and have lost 2 stone and am relatively fit and healthy certainly no mobility issues. I have been told an absolute no for the new MLU unit. So be it. It only opened 2 weeks ago so all my pals have given birth in the main hospital and have been very positive - except for the post natal ward which I think is awful everywhere.

Anyway. What I wanted to say was I was told no to water and needed monitoring - no medical reasons - just policy. So I demanded to see the consulting midwife who is head of normality. All maternity hospitals have one. A Dr saw mw instead and we went through my written birth preferences and discussed each item specifically in relation to me not policy. I am now allowed to labour in water and I don't have to agree to monitoring if there is no medical reason to at triage booking. I am happy they have no assessed me rather than policy. So I would recommend you ask who is the consultant mw for normality and demand audience with written preferences - if you want to see mine PM me. I hinted at hb and they listened. I was very stressed by the whole experience but now as calm as anything as I was unemotional, did my research and spoke their language. I felt in control. Ok I won't get the lovely Hilton style birth pool but that isn't important, 6000 women in my city didn't have it last year either.

Kelly thinking of you! Don't panic.

Knocked fingers crossed - do a Folic think that placenta high :)

Folic what others have said just babygros I reckon and layers so if your ample bosom does overheat tham you can delayer. I'm going to buy a Calin Bleu sling fleecey seems a nice warm option, though stretchy doesn't last as long but these are cheaper.

TwoJacks I reckon a car seat as well.

I'll be Facebooking photos as my family aren'y that savvy with email etc. I have Flickr so I'll do more on their protected to family only but I'll have to set up their accounts.

Fuming at the rugby (bad ref, very bad ref), replete after a cooked breakie and looking forward to an afternoon with my pal shopping. Life doesn't get better :)

Mega post sorry!

Dr saw mw instead - noooooooooo Dr saw ME instead. Doh. I'm ignoring all other spelling mistakes!

Blimey, it's all go here.

voodoo I am so sorry you are feeling so panicked. I misunderstood/confused you, i thought a mw at the MLU had said yes but consultant said no. I agree that a consultant's opinion should hold some sway, the problem with the MLU is exactly that - midwife led and so the consultants are not supposed to interfere.
You could try asking is it hospital policy or specific to me and I fear their reply will be 'it is hospital policy AND specific to you as you don't fit hospital policy'.

What would I do if this were me (and I didn't want a HB)? Here is where DH needs to step in and be your voice. You are too hormonal to think straight and being assertive in late pg is often not possible. Get DH to call the head of midwives at the hospital and explain how stressed you have become, how your BMI is one point out (complete bollocks IMO - your BMI makes you no more high risk than a 'normal' weight person) and that you have lost weight since becoming pg and that your consultant feels MLU is fine for you.
IME consultants don't say these things unless they are totally sure.

Get DH to do the fighting for you - you will just start to cry :)
Perhaps arrange a meeting between the consultant and the head of MLU?

Otherwise, you will have to go for the CLU but ask for it to be as homely as possible and take some time to get your head around it.
I am sorry you are feeling like this.

Lizzy oh dear, but at this stage hospital is best place to be.

Morning all!

Got all the nursary furniture built last night, looks fab and ready for a little one now! Ony problem was a missing part on one of the wardrobe doors, but mothercare are fab and sending a new wardrobe out to my local store on tues so I can go in and get the bit I need!

New carpets also laid yesterday.

Have birth prep class with our yoga lady today, then going for a chilli at a pg friends house. Currently have the base of my cheesecake cooling in the fridge, so need to crack on with my topping now.

Was hoping to see some updates this morning from our next potential droppers!!! Fingers croissed ladies xxx

With car seats, I'm with MrsA, I have been thinking about buying one of the rear facing ones that stays permanently in the car, because I had the carry-tot thing with DD and frankly they are a nightmare, they are so heavy, and I really struggled to get it in and out of the car when I was recovering from C-section. So if midwives try to stop me leaving hospital with my own baby, because I don't happen to have the car seat of their choice, lets just say that there could be a standoff.....

I know a friend told me recently that her sister was really annoyed when she was being discharged from hospital, as the MWs insisted that a) she had to bring the car seat into the ward and get baby strapped in, b) her husband wasn't allowed on the ward, as it wasn't during visiting hours, so he couldn't bring the car seat in and c) she couldn't leave her baby unsupervised to go out to the hospital lobby to bring the car seat in herself. What the actual.....??! I think I'd have had a full scale tantrum, its just so unreasonable.....and honestly, I'm not a tantrummy type, but this sort of 'rules for the sake of rules' makes me so angry!

Well snoozle there are rules, and them rules are just that, rules. If the combination of rules make for a conflict of logic and create an impossibility so be it - rules are rules....

Taxi/Leaving Hospital You don't legally have to have a car seat to take a baby in a taxi, even from hospital. Taxis are exempt from car seat laws for a long list of reasons. And legally they can't prevent you from leaving hospital just for not having a car seat (people do leave by foot and bus as well as by car) no matter what they say unless you are going by a non-taxi car. With my eldest, a midwife did walk out with me carrying him and helped me put him in the car seat, but I had said I was leaving in my FIL's car and I was having hip problems. With DD2, I was just handed my leaving envelope to give to the next medical professional and told that the head desk knew we were leaving and I carried her out in my arms as my husband hadn't brought the carrier (he didn't realize how determined I was to leave!). Didn't have any problem. As a non-driver, I would get quite cranky if they tried to tell me I had to have a car seat when I don't have a car!

I've never seen a permanently fixed newborn car seat. Would have found it hard to get DD in and out. Also always fell asleep in car so good to get whole seat out with DD on.

mrsA sometimes I find your comments quite rude. I personally found the midwife very helpful in showing us how to adjust and strap in newborn. I was a clueless first timer as none of our friends had babies and already very sleep deprived. Must be our hospital policy if you are driving they want to see car seat.

I think it's a good thing that they'd want to see a car seat if you are leaving by car. At the end of the day whilst the baby is your's once it is born it also has his/her own rights and whilst I'm sure most sensible people wouldn't endanger their babies by sitting them on their laps whilst in a car some people may not think full stop, hence in order to protect the baby fair play to MW's who want to see that you're takin the safety of your baby seriously.

When I was younger we were 1/4 of a mile from my house I was in the back putting my seat belt on it was about 7pm and we were travelling at about 15mph coming off a roundabout when a drunk driver clipped the curb on the opposite side of the road and smashed straight in the front of our car at around 50mph I ended up with my face smashed into the front windscreen luckily everyone in the car was ok just a few fractures and bruising however I would dred to think what would have happen had a baby been in my lap! You hear all to often well it's just around the corner etc. But you just have to be in the wrong place/wrong time and you cannot control what other road users do. Sorry rant over, suppose what I'm trying to say is some people will try and take shortcuts, the MW's are just checking that you're not risking your babies safety. Fair play I say!

In labour. Dreadful back pain. Baby doesnt seem to be descending after 14 hours of contractions

I've asked MW to come round and check heartbeat and position.

Just off to walk up and down the stairs some more x

Sorry about the whole car seat controversy, oops!!!

Kelly, good luck!!!! Keep us up to date with things, lets hope baby comes soon :)

Ooooo Kelly! Good luck and come on baby! People are waiting for you! Ah am excited!
Am shattered from doing a long day in a shopping centre helping with the fundraising event. Starving but OH ran up to the chippy for him and the kids and I can't bear fish and chips cos it makes me feel sick. Am so tired I could cry!
Thanks for all your positive comments gang! Really appreciate it. Can't see how am going to overcome this so guess I've got to decide what's the best of a bad job so to speak. I know it's not the end of the world. Right off to go and wander restlessly round cos am overtired and overhungry.

ooh, I'm sorry about the car seat controversy too in that I am actually a car seat obsessive, its one of my pet hates seeing children not properly strapped in. But what I meant was that I would object to hospital dictating to me that I must have their choice of car seat (i.e. one of the ones that you carry about). If they want to check I have a car seat, then so be it, but if I choose a permanently fixed car seat, then it will have to involve someone coming to the car park to look at it - I can't realistically spend £150 on another car seat just to carry the baby from the post natal ward to the car, in order to tick a box somewhere. And its when it leads to situations like the one my friend's sister went through (left standing in a corridor for hours, as she had been discharged and her bed given to someone else, but she wasn't allowed to actually leave the ward, despite her husband sitting in the hospital lobby with the car seat) that it just becomes nonsensical. Plus, seeing you leave the hospital carrying your baby in the car seat is meaningless really, as there is no guarantee that you will actually strap the seat in properly once you reach the car park.....

But, I have to say, I do feel a bit resentful of the increasing surveillance we seem to be under when we have a baby. In my area the health visitor comes and inspects your whole house when the baby reached crawling stage. I didn't have it, as it was brought in after my DD was born, but my sister did, and she said it felt like such an invasion of privacy having a stranger poking round your bedroom etc just looking for faults. Sensible parents will take every precaution to ensure their child's safety, regardless of home inspections, car seat inspections etc, whilst the parents who couldn't give a toss will continue to not give a toss.....so ultimately, what difference do such inspections make? I'm all for a bit of advice, maybe a few leaflets to read, but I think making parents feel like criminals is very counterproductive.

Oooh Kelly exciting stuff! Keep us posted if at all poss. hopefully not long to go! It all seems to have heated up on here all of a sudden!
Horrible toothache at mo....just waiting for call back from nhs direct dental. Need to get sorted but don't know if dentist will see me (they don't like to work on pregnant ladies it seems) but on other hand I dont fancy having this pain much longer so we'll see! Has anyone had any dental done recently...would they do local anaesthetic for treatment?...bleurgh!!

Kelly are you having a home birth?

Kate I had temporary dental work done whilst pregnant, think it was in about May, when a filling fell out. Dentist said there were no known risks to doing treatment, but that obviously the preferred option was to be cautious, and if possible just do something temporary and leave the 'big stuff' until after the birth. But, then I suppose ultimately it would depend on how serious the problem is, and if there is anything temporary they can do. But I don't think they would want to see you in agony for the next month either, so hopefully they'll sort you out some way.

Thanks for the support everyone. Contractions have tailed off now, so unless something changes, i may be allowed home either tomorrow or Monday. I hope so, because i live very close to hospital if i need to come back, and if I'm going to be bed bound i might as well be bound to my own bed. MrsA, i did think about and research
delivering a breech baby, but according to the consultant, who is apparently an expert on breech babies, my baby is in a particularly difficult position, with his feet stuck between my pelvis and tail bone, making it virtually impossible to labour or turn him without breaking his legs, hence the bed rest. It sounds like he will be difficult to deliver even by caesarian. The consultant was very good, and i am confident in his suggestions. He is usually very anti caesarian, particularly in first pregnancies, but he said this does appear to be my only safe option. Pam, thanks for your indignation on my behalf!

Congratulations to caz, and good luck to Kelly, sorry, on phone so difficult to keep up with other news and name check. Its getting pretty exciting now, minimum 16 days to a November due date, maximum 46 days!

Lizzy ah what a nightmare! Glad you may be allowed home. When will they carry out a section? Apologies if you have already said so and I've missed it!
The bump seems determined to drill right down into my pelvis. It's very very uncomfortable!

Lizzy sounds like you've had some specialist advice which is good. If it helps I've had 1 EMCS (after a bit of labour) & 1 planned CS after zero contractions - neither was my 1st choice but the recovery from the planned 1 was definitely quicker and easier & despite my fears to the contrary my body did what it was supposed to - bonded with baby really easily and feeding established really well with milk coming in at the right time / amount.

Snoozle I was referred to social services by my midwife because the consultant prescribed fluoxetine. She said she was filling out a form for "cross agency care" (i.e. the form releasing my info from the Data Protection Act) - I had no clue this would mean I'm now going to be watched like the worst of the worst. When the social care person came around for a first chat she was gobsmacked at my tidy house and DP being present, handed us a DVD on bonding with the baby and then booked us in for ante-natal classes. She sort of fidgeted a little bit and then left, haven't heard back since, but just the knowledge that because I take a medicine that actually helps me, I am lumped in and put under suspicion with child abusers and neglect makes me fume.