Nov 2011 - almost time to push!

[TerrysNo2]

Last thread was full so thought I would just start this one off - hope you don't mind as I know I've not been a regular but god forbid you guys having nowhere to chat ;)

Right, caz what's happening, I am stalking you all over the shop and need more news :)

cali how worrying. Glad she's improving with every feed. Don't worry about bf consultant you do what's best for you and Abigail, sounds like perfect timing for your sister and mum to arrive. Just remember they're here to help you not for you to take care of them.

Cali, stay strong. Bloody bf experts!

On another note. I have NEVER been weighed at any mw appts. I initially gave then my weight and at subsequent appts the midwife said that they don't weigh ladies anymore. I'm not obviously underweight. I'm....... well was 5'7 weighing in at 11st 7 size 14. I must've carried it well. Ha ha ha ha. Yer right

Cali this is touching a very close nerve with me and trying to bf DD. She feed from my breast about 3 times. We feed her with a syringe, she lost over a pound in weight (blimmin mw at hospital wrote her weight in lbs wrong, not noticed until I was signed off 6 weeks later). She was fussy, I had baby blues, it was a horrible 1st two weeks. X3 mws couldnt get DD to latch on, so laSt one suggested topping up with formula. Different baby after that bottle.

I had a decision to make, battle on with bf or express and bottle feed. Started expressing and we didn't look back. I gradually dropped an expressing session a week ie 3am was first to go, and she was weaned onto formula by 6 weeks. Was them most important and difficult decision so far.

Right best crack on with dinner, stir fry tonight.

Cali you poor thing, sounds like you're doing a great job. I had probs with BF DS - as the NCT lady put it 'a serious mismatch in the relative size of our equipment' he had tiny mouth with v high palate (so was unable to use dummies either) & I have not only big boobs but more importantly v large areola so it just didn't work. I expressed for 13 weeks but I now realise that with all the stress my milk never really came in - I would pumP for hours but produced v little milk. You are in the right place to get help - do what's best for you & your little family with no guilt - I stopped expressing when I realised I had become obsessed - looking after DS was an interruption to my expressing schedule so I stopped & refocussed. Loads of luck, hopefully you 2 will crack it :)

Cali am sorry to hear you are all having a rough time. Like said above you are in the right place to get help and support and I hope that you are sorted, abigail better and you are able to move on a little. You are all doing a fab job.

Now a tmi question.... Anyone ever had a sweep? My mw has TINY hands. I can't see how it would work! Also am not good with erm anything like that.

Cali sorry to hear how much stress you are experiencing, but great to know how strong she is being! Hope the feeding rights itself for you and you can resist the pressure from consultants and MWs. I know they want what is best for baby, but sometimes they really need to understand that a happy Mom is the main thing they need!

Well, birth centre appointment went great and we are all set to use the MW-led unit when the big day arrives (provided I go into labour spontaneously and don't need induction) I just need to hang on until Friday so I am within the 37 weeks and I'm ok. Baby remains head down and is engaging (4/5 palpable but still, on the right track!) and everything else was fine. She said that there was no reason why any of the other MWs or consultant should have led me to believe that a BC delivery would be so difficult for me to achieve - definitely the most matter of fact MW we have seen!

Like some of the other ladies, I have had a few conversations about 'is that specific to me or just general policy' and although the MW at my booking appointment was quite dismissive of my BC wishes, due to a BMI above their usual tolerance, this MW today weighed me and commented on how little weight I have gained since the booking appointment - just 4 kgs (net gain - I lost a stone during the first 5 months before I gained some control over my sickness)

The baby is still kicking and pushing away at the top of my bump, I thought the movement might calm down once it started engaging, but no such luck! 2 more days at work now, thanks for the comments on keeping busy. I have a couple of things planned for next week and definitely want to do some swimming. I'm thinking of going to a yoga class as well, providing the one at my gym can be adapted for my largeness

So all in all, a good day and it feels like a very big box ticked now.

Forgot to say earlier thinking of you TwoJacks and Snoozle. Sendng you contraction vibes (sounds weird, but you know what I mean!).

Coolsticks Welcome to the thread! Where are you living? And when are you due?

I had my 38 week appt with GP yesterday. Everything is fine, baby head down and now 3/5ths. She didn't think I'd be long but you never know really what baby is planning. Won't see mw until I'm 41 weeks now. V bizarre that I won't see anyone for 3 weeks.

I've pretty much finished packing my hospital bag. Well I have three to pack this time:

Labour bag with maternity notes, change of clothes for DH, snacks, couple of drink cartons, one maternity pad and nappy, baby grow, body suit and hat for baby.

(This will stay in car) Ward bag Nightie, change of clothes, dressing gown, breast pads, arnica tablets, maternity pads, toiletries, baby grows x3, body suits x3, nappies, cotton wool pads, vaseline.

and the third is a bag for my DD as she will go to grandparents who live 5mins away. Just going to pack if she was away for 2 nights.

I seem to have developed back into a bit of a lurker at the mo...finding it hard to keep up esp as DS is on half term this week & BH are keeping me up most nights - one tired mummy!!

Anyway, all good here at the mo. Had show yesterday & baby continuing to engage nicely so hoping it not too much longer to wait.

cali stay strong, hope Abigail continues to improve & you do as you feel is right for you both re: BFing - happy healthy baby & mummy is most important not type of food baby gets xx

Hoping induction ladies are getting on well & have news of safe arrivals soon xx

just a quick one to truffkin - yoga is brilliant for pregnancy, i spend at least a couple of hours on my mat every day & believe me: the comfort i get in my body from it is amazing!! - but please, please make sure your teacher has been trained in pre-natal yoga - their insurance won't cover them to teach you if they're not anyway - nothing to do with our size these days - it's to do with their understanding of what might damage your body, with all the relaxin in your muscles, & the different arrangement of your organs because of your baby, & what might not be beneficial to your baby in terms of how to direct you in the asanas (poses,) safely. at this late stage of our pregnancies a lot of what we couldn't do earlier becomes safe, & vice versa... some asanas are really not wise to go into, & how the teacher assists you in the poses is different too..

anyway, you probably know all this already - sorry if i'm teaching you to suck eggs, as it were - a few of the girls i originally trained with are just finishing their pre & post natal training so it's very much in my awareness at the moment! x

Hi everybody I've been ghosting this thread for a while with nothing to say, finally on maternity leave now at 37+2, nesting like MAD (wallpaper stripping, cleaning the oven, HUGE kiddicare online deliveries, trashing the house :( )
I went to an antenatal yoga class yesterday and it was lovely to meet loads of other pregnant ladies and finally talk about bumps instead of toddlers or work! The teacher was great, really careful as per your note mama, although she had a handout describing how birth was basically just one big orgasm.... Hmmm... birth of DD1 leaves me unconvinced but hey nice attitude! I'll try and go again in the next few weeks.

cali - has the same thing with DD - they didn't let me leave the hospital because she lost too much weight and my milk took a while to come in properly. I pumped using the industrial machinery they had there, but she had to have some formula (I remember we used a little pipette to feed her as they didn't recommend bottles). Didn't have the big breast issue but flat nipples so was really tricky for a while but kept pumping and drinking loads of water and also using those nipple shields (they actually saved the whole situation) and eventually we worked it out together. I went on to breastfeed for 10 months and the pumping was great. Every morning I pumped a bottle that my DH used to give the last feed to DD, while I slept from 7pm until her next feed at 2pm.

Point being - it was a slow start but worked out okay... Fingers crossed for you.

Hey everyone, I'm lurking every couple of days but not finding two hands very often to post!

Everything going well here, I'm completely in-love with my little man and have nothing to complain about. He is such a good boy, very content and settled most of the time. I'm feeling much much better and recovered in myself and the last few days we've ventured out a little bit with him. Still needing lots of rest because my scar gets sore again after walking a bit, but we're just really enjoying the new edition to our family.

cali sorry to hear you're having such a stressful time. I hope Abigail is feeling much better soon.

We still haven't cracked feeding properly yet either. Xander just won't latch on without a nipple shield, I think because his suckle was/is under-developed he needs something defined to grasp onto rather than the soft tissue. He really struggles every time we try without and we both end up getting upset so I'm sticking with the shields at the moment which are working well for us. My MW isn't keen though and has sent us to a bf specialist to try and get him off them. Apparently babies get 25% less milk with shields and get 'addicted to plastic very quickly' so I've been sent to clinic, but since we've been using them his bowel movements have become far more regular and he had put on 4oz at last weigh in of the 9 he had lost from birth. To me that indicates he is getting enough, and he's far happier at feed time without having to struggle for his milk. Why do health professionals have to make you feel guilty? Meeting HV next Thursday, hope she's supportive.

Looking forward to more birth announcements!!

At the moment I go between feeling like the worst parent and being upset with the health professionals for admonishing me - 3 midwives saw me bf and all said I was fine, and I persisted despite the consultants umming whether my medication would let me bf.
I could've just decided to formula feed for sanity and ease - what happens to those mothers who formula feed from day 1? Do they get the same furrowed eyebrows?

How's twojacks?

Coolsticks and sasaunde welcome!
Cali What stress, but glad that your DD is perking up. Absolutely nothing wrong with expressing for her. Not sure what the BF person is on about?!
Caz so glad that things are going well and that you are recovering. I think that as long as Xander is putting on weight he?s fine. But I am of course no medical professional. He looks like a happy enough baby, so I think you are doing great


coolsticks apologies i missed your post yesterday, welcome and congratulations. fx baby comes earlier for you.

welcome sasaunde congratulations.

cali what would they have to do if not make someone feel guilty for something. hope she's getting on well still.

caz glad to see things are going well. I had to use a shield last time but didn't work for me kept getting milk all over and slipping everywhere, how are you keeping it in one place? (if you don't mind me asking.)

Morning all! Having to do a major catch up.

TwoJacks and snoozle, lots of good vibes being sent your way, best of luck, and hope to hear from you soon.

cali and caz, I have no experience in bf at all, being a 'soon to be 1st time mum', but don't let them make you feel guilty about it, you're both doing the best you can. Have you thought about topping up with formula? My friend swears by it, she doesn't produce enough milk for full time bf, but gives her daughter 1-2 feeds a day of formula, so she knows she gets the calories, and does the rest with bf, so she knows she's getting the right nutrients. Do what's best for you and your baby, not what's on a piece of paper.

mama re scans - I know we've moved on a bit - but I think they only give them if they suspect a problem with growth/development. I expected to have loads due to my own health problems, but haven't had one since the 20wk as Sprog has been growing so well. So I'm taking it as a very good sign :) I guess if you're paying to go private you should be able to pay a wee bit more and request more scans?!

I'm sorry to hear how many of you have had problems on the NHS, I've had great care, and they've definitely tempered it to my condition. Maybe having a really serious heart defect means that one gets more care as they're so worried about things going wrong?! I guess that they can go overboard sometimes as they are so worried about something going wrong and getting sued - happening more and more. I'm not saying that anyone here would do that, but I suppose they feel they need to cover their backs more these days. I also wonder if it's partly down to that lovely postcode lottery of care?

I also haven't been weighed since my booking day - 5ft8", 11.5st - so I am assuming that I look like I've put on the correct amount of weight, and although I feel big now, I don't think it's excessive. I think I might be a bit too happy to bumble through this without asking too many questions (unless related to my dicky ticker then I can go OTT :o)...

Anyhoo, 38+1 today, all packed and ready to go on Monday, counting down the days..... Hey we might be birthing buddies mama! I'm hoping that the 1/11/11 is an auspicious day (and DH and I should def be able remember it - we're both v rubbish at that sort of thing, we both forgot our wedding anniversary a couple of weeks ago until my aunt reminded us - oops!)

Mama I've had scans every 4 weeks because my 1st baby was growth restricted - he came out 5lb 5oz at 42 weeks without anyone medical picking up he was small so now they watch carefully as that was a sign that my placenta had become a bit rubbish so I won't go that far again - CS booked for 1.11.11 so should get auspicious memorable birthday unless something happens or I get bumped. I don't think I would ever make one that hits 7lb even .

Right I am feeling in a controversial mood this morning Breastfeeding I really think the strong messages from NHS etc are absolutely the right thing & everyone really should give it a try as when it works it is a wonderful thing & being lazy / can't be bothered / a bit weirded out are not really good enough reasons not to try. HOWEVER if you are someone (like everyone on this thread I think) who really wants to give it a go, really wants to give it their best shot and for whatever reason it just isn't working then the MWs / HVs / BF consultants need to recognise when to stop the guilt & move on to practical advice to find the way forward that is holistically best for your family. Be it a mix of breast & formula, a mix of expressing & formula or 100% formula. When you were already 'sold' on BF these decisions are probably the hardest you make in the early years so you do not need to be made feel like a failure or have guilt put on you. I know a few Mummies who would say BF issues were a significant factor in their PND.

Rant over, sorry!

2nd last day at work! Eek!
Bought some odds and ends for hospital bag and as far as I'm concerned she can come any time ..... Now... Now? Now!!
Can tell she is very low. Feel like am walking John wayne stylee. Also very uncomfortable when she moves around. Nothing else exciting happening.Welcome to the newcomers! Sorry am rubbish at names! Pull up a birthing ball and join right in.
Oh did get application in, thank god. Even if I don't get an interview at least it's given me a big kick to get back to where I want to be.

Merlion my movements definitely changes around 36 weeks - and more sleepy was a good way to describe them!

Oh voodoo crappy about the controlling MIL - mine is not too bad, but even she's started to bug me the last few days! Disagreeing with stuff we've told her the mw said about how to look after the baby etc. And just telling us how we should be doing stuff! I've been pretty good at standing up for myself (or ignoring her).

Plus really laughing at your mws tinyhands! [hgrin]

Cali glad to hear that there is some help there for you, especially with you sister and mum coming too! Hope sprout is feeling better today!

caz glad to hear everything is going so well for your new family!!!! [hgrin]

I haven't been weighed since booking in either, was 8st4 then, 10st4 now. But apparently I still don't look pregnant from behind! Even the Tesco.com driver this morning didnt notice my bump until I asked him to lift the boxes onto the side because I couldn't crounch down to pick them up! He was very apologetic!

37 + 5 today, and really feel ready! Also walking like John Wayne, and constantly uncomfortable! Think i've almost bought everything we need now, except for nursing bras and sheets for moses basket (we weren't going to use a moses basket but they're £25 including a mattress in the big George store so couldn't resist!!

Stacey that's a bargain re the Moses basket!
Honestly she has the smallest hands in the world.... Wonder what the point would be as now have dread it would be more uncomfortable due to the smallness of the hands!

The guilt is endless...whether you want to give birth at home naturally, or with all the pain relief you can get (or even like me, not at all). Breastfeeding or formula, nipple shields or not, swaddles (considered a bit barbaric to some people) disposables or reusable nappies, dummies or not, feeding mush or baby-led weaning, controlled crying, attachment parenting - nursery/work or staying home, when to potty train etc etc etc. Mov

Yesterday my crazy midwife made me feel a bit crap because I had moved DD into her own room at six months (where she proceeded to sleep from 7pm to 7am until she was 3 years old, bar a few colds/bugs), whereas all three of her kids had a bed in her bedroom until they were 4 years old. Whatever...

But every family has got to figure out their own way. Read the books, do the research, talk to people then wing it, without guilt!

I had to use nipple shields - otherwise it wouldn't have worked. I had heard about the issues with long-term use. And yes, I breastfeed for 10 months but not exclusively...She had organic formula sometimes (its not poison after all) and then at 4 months, she had an evening bottle of vælling - which is organic gruel. Sounds weird, but its completely normal here in Denmark.

I am still decorating DD's bedroom with my interior designer friend and I have to post pics when its done, its looking so great - all vintage fabrics and colourful crafty stuff.

And we have officially given up on the sleep training with stairgate...After 3 hardcore nights, which got kind of stressy, shouty and noisy for all, we talked yesterday and our gut feeling is that its not right for DD right now. I still believe that helping babies and kids fall asleep without various crutches (dummies, rocking, holding hands, the constant presence of a parent) is a good thing but with a 3 and half year old, there's so much going on in her imagination - and I just don't know how worried she is about monsters, kindergarten and a new baby. We just want to be there for her.

Stairgate went off, toys back in her room, we tried the eccentric neighbour's suggestions of chilled-out Mozart on repeat, nice stories, cuddles etc. She came out once at midnight and went straight back to bed, then came in to our room at 6am, where we had arranged a little crash pad on the floor where she slept until 9am. I think we can handle this arrangement, even with new baby ;)

voodoo - happy second to last day :) I am so glad my MiL lives in the US - she is cool but controlling. My own mum is a bit more mellow. good for you staceroo for ignoring it. Has to be done.

caz nice to hear from you! Sounds like its going pretty well - very happy for you :)

re. growth scans - I also wondered why it seems to common to get them in the UK - they do measurements with their hands here [hconfused].
Last week, she measured 2.4 kilos but a different midwife measured yesterday at almost 3 kilos. I don't believe any of it!

Does anyone know how to join to facebook group?

laughing at your "not pregnant from behind," comment - i get that all the time, I've gone from 8 & a half, to 12!! but am all bump at the front & still have a waist from behind!! i get guys wolf whistling from behind, then still trying it on when they see the bump!!! now, sure, i haven't given up the high heels & i have a company in fashion as well as yoga, so i dress to suit my careers, but i'm also 34 & deeply committed to my boyfriend & do not dress in a slutty manner, (high fashion's a bit baffling for men anyway, isn't it? hahaha!) but guys!!! seriously??? i'm pregnant!! Never do i look more "another man's woman," than now - so why the chat up routines??? makes me laugh!! silly boys!!

i got weighed at 3 months, (inaccurately described as my pre-pregnancy weight, which it sooooo wasn't) then never again - had to bring up what was at one point a 3 stone increase in weight (i went up to 12 & a half at about 35 weeks, but have lost weight off the bump since then,) with both my IMs & my GP - they all looked at me like i was being vain & told me most women would kill to have a cute bump like mine & no swelling elsewhere - so i counted to ten, & explained i was not being vain, simply worried about Bumpalicious growing too fast or too big (not for me birthing her, but for her health's sake!) grrrr!

alicat10 your comments about breastfeeding & the nasty agenda to make women who want to try but for one reason or another are struggling feel bad are on the button!!! some of these professionals need to remember who the client is - even on the nhs it's us who are the clients - they are in public service, serving our health needs with their expertise. oooh! if i spoke to my clients in the manner some of these professionals speak to us, i'd be broke & bad-mouthed within weeks!!!

ali Agreed. I really, really want to bf. This morning I had to top it up with formula - and it was so disappointing. I cried tbh - and that is because I felt I was poisoning my daughter.

And today the registrar told me to make a decision - one more try with bf and I think I've reached the end of it.

cali big hugs to you; if formula is what is needed for DD & you then that is the right thing for you all - you have not failed and you are not poisoning her with it. It is a shame that HCPs are so one sided & not supportive enough when there are genuine issues with feeding, do not feel guilty as you have done so well with everything you have come up against throughout pregnancy/birth & now. I hope you manage to come to a feeding method that is right for you xx

Cali I totally sympathise. I was told with DD (after being in hospital for a week) 'unless she feeds, breast or bottle, you can't go home'. I totally caved in and gave her a bottle of formula.
It broke me.
I believe it was all linked to the horrendous c-section/delivery we had and the fact that I was so out of it afterwards, i didn't get skin to skin and a mw gave her colostrum from me by hand-expressing me (looking back I shudder) and syringing it in.

I managed to express about a bottle a day for a few weeks but then she was 100% formula.
I still feel guilty but it worked for us and formula is not poison! I missed the act of nursing I think too - there was a lack of bond for me cos I couldn't nurse her.
Hence IM and one to one care after birth this time round.

If you get her home, and she is on formula you can still get bf going again but you will need help. You will have to contact La Leche league and go to a bf drop in.
but ultimately, it is not the end of the world if you end up ff.