Nov 2011 - almost time to push!

[TerrysNo2]

Last thread was full so thought I would just start this one off - hope you don't mind as I know I've not been a regular but god forbid you guys having nowhere to chat ;)

Right, caz what's happening, I am stalking you all over the shop and need more news :)

many thanks for the welcome everyone

kelly your story is so inspiring, thank you so much for sharing. we're working towards a home birth ourselves - am in saaaafffff larrndin so the (very,) near hospital is St Georges - fabulous if you're in an emergency & it has a wonderfully esteemed team, i believe, but not so hot on the whole getting the budget to stretch to cleaning loos, having enough MWs, & this area is known as nappy valley even in non baby boom times... so i was terrified of being seen as a low risk, healthy girl & as such, well, kinda ignored (which is exactly what's happened - the nhs have no idea i've gone privately - was told not to tell them as they can be twitchy about these things, hide your notes, etc - but i've literally been seen maybe 5 times, & frankly, the MWs i've met thus far, whilst lovely & hard working just weren't a great support. on one memorable occasion i had to explain what blueberries were when an MW enquired after my healthy diet ..... so we've gone for an IM team, & with their support, knowledge & guidance, i went from being the kind of girl who always figured there probably was another exit for baby that mamas hadn't told us non-mamas about hahaha! & thus was all about the ELCS, to a fully positive thinking home birth hoper!! but it is still worrying...... i read with interest the other thread link on here about home birth risks & the shoulder thing... oh, gawd!!! there's always something to terrify us, isn't there??

i haven't even bothered to go on a hospital tour, my feeling is that if the home birth turns into a hospital birth, i'll be in no mood to give a fig about my surroundings & seeing it now in all its dirty, over crowded glory natural glory will only stress me out!

loving the stories of all the October births - so wonderful to hear... please tell me, why are so many of you being induced? i was rather under the impression this leads to a more painful labour? have i missed out on something i should be demanding? i'm working on the info that a non inventional birth, where the MWs don't even do internals (apparently they can tell when we're fully dilated by looking a) at our faces, & b) how to put this?? ... at our rectums!! & getting up inside us actually causes issues with the cervix...) is much more likely to result in a shorter, less painful labour... i'm intrigued by the other sides of the story, as it were, especially as there is such a wealth of experience here with 2nd/3rd time mothers & so forth.......

wow! lonnngggg post - sorry, i write a lot :(

Mama I was induced for several reasons - Blood pressure being the biggest, but size of baby and mental well-being was also factored in.
It's not ideal at all, and I wish I could have done it all completely naturally. I do how ever think my body responded well to the thought of delivery, and "got ready" much quicker once my doctor decided to take action.
I was lucky and didn't need the hormone drip - this is usually what makes it more intense and painful as it speeds up the contractions and effacement.

Poppet Apart from the induction pessaries, what was different? I got the sense that it was quite normal, and feel good that a lot of things weren't so formalised and scripted as I thought they would feel...

Mama Also - my midwife for sure couldn't tell how far I was dilated by looking at my face OR bum! They try to minimise internal examinations, but you can also only be certain to allow a lady to push when she's fully dilated - anything else could be very risky for everyone involved.

My IM assessed dilation by looking for the line between my bum cheeks but it's not a science.

Plus a lot of women want to know how far along they are. I did with DD1. I didn't know you could have anything to assess this other than cervical dilation.

Cali, I think it sounds like your body and your baby were ready. I think once the pessary starts thinning/dilation your body is off on it's own unless they use syntocinon etc which they didn't with you.

I think it sounds like you did amazingly. My waters broke with DD1 when I was in hospital without DH and it was frightening. I completely understand that.

Well done Cali and welcome baby Abigail
yay for willow being home finally too...fab news poppet.
waves to mama!
excitement and nerves growing daily now....can't believe d day is nearly here 37+5 today. Tooth sorted (well no pain anymore), ML starts next week, bag packed, nursery nearly done....curry and xfactor now!!

poppet y y to different dreams now. I doubt we'll have more although we both like the idea of having 3 DC. We've been talking today about the future for the 4 of us.

Wow - birth stories...wow. Aaargh! Its happening!

Welcome mama - I'm originally from south london too, so glad that I won't have to deliver in Mayday...

Nothing interesting to report here in terms of physical readiness for birth - still just doing the endless tasks on my list. My DH told me that I have to make a date to be done then just call it and chill out. But I know that I can only chill out when everything is done...

DH has gone out to the practice room to "jam" with his mates (yes, he is a sax-playing general practitioner:) Before he left, her very sweetly brought me in some nachos and a tub of Ben & Jerry's and I have been watching some mindless Gossip Girl and pigging out and now totally regret it. Mind and body are nauseated! And I was almost perturbed at the doctor's last week by my relatively light 16lb weight gain this pregnancy, but I think I may be making up for it now.

re. dilation - I actually found the internal examinations the most painful part of the early labour. But I have issues with that kind of thing at the best of times.
Sleep well if you can ladies!

Wow - what amazing birth stories cali and kelly - they are both so different but both with fantastic results. Congratulations to you both.

Kelly I have never ever heard of anyone feeding between and during contractions - you are amazing! I hope my HB is as nice as yours! Can you tell me more about how they looked for your dilation rather than examined you??

Just read Cali and Kellys birth stories, so different and yet you both come across (in the posts anyway, who knows what it felt like at the time!) as pretty calm in the end.

I noticed Cali mentioned her DP and her birth partner, so I'm assuming these were two different people? This thread is a real eye opener in terms of how things differ according to what hospital you attend - at my hospital they are very strict that you can only have one person with you. It doesn't matter to me anyway, as I don't have anyone other than DH that I would feel comforable with, but I know some people would love to have maybe their mum there or whatever. (My mum is elderly, so apart from the whole thing being too tiring for her anyway, she is of the generation where you don't talk about these things, so I can just imagine the look on her face if I asked her to accompany me in labour . She had five babies herself, and I have never got a single piece of info out of her as to what her labours were like, she just changes the subject).

Oh Terrys I don't recommend it although it's a good way to bring on contractions!

I hated seeing DD1 distressed and having milk is how she falls asleep at night. Plus I think the pool and two MW confused her even though she loves our MW and had met the back up MW once.

So if labour slows down - nipple stimulation! Warm, wet flannel rubbed in circles for a while.

Here is a great article on assessing dilation without examinations.

sarahvine.wordpress.com/2010/03/07/how-dilated-am-i-assessing-dilation-without-an-internal-exam/

My MW had a quick peak for the line when I had a contraction around 7pm and said she could see one. I said "any chance it correlates to 10cm" she said "er, no".

I know she checked it a couple of times in the pool because she'd say "oh lovely red line KK". I never asked how big it was but I assume she knew I was almost ready to push when I told her I was feeling it.

It's so clever really.

Snoozle I've mentioned before that my mum wanted to be at my labour - I refused. I was discussing it with MIL and she replied "well if she's going to be there then so am I!". I was very tempted to remind her whose vagina this baby was popping out of.

In the end, as I got out of the shower, I called my sister and asked if she'd either be with me or DD. She was really reluctant, asked if I was sure I was in labour and if I really needed her she'd need to speak to her DH.

I just told her to forget it, the MW was on her way. It was quite hurtful really.

snoozle that's an unusual policy I think. Most hospitals allow 2 other people in with you. What happens if you've hired a doula? Our local hospitals say 2 people max as it can help to have DP there as the dad and a doula/BP as your advocate.

I'd heard about assessing dilation by looking at your bum, your mw sounds very good kelly It was a bit strange on Friday, I had these 2 women drinking tea in my lounge (my I'm and my doula) and I thought they are here just for me (or alternatively cos I've paid them!) And they will probably see me naked soon or even see me have a poo!! Surreal.

Damn phone. I'm = IM

Haha! Yes, it is weird isnt it? All through my antenatal appointments I'd be thinking "can I see myself being comfortable naked in front of the IM?" and always think no but in the end, it was fine. I remember her holding my hand in a motherly fashion at one point and feeling so grateful for someone else touching me. It was very calming.

Plans for today everyone?

We're taking the DDs to my dads for breakfast so I'm off for a shower now. MW coming later to check DD2s sticky eyes and jaundice.

Did I tell you that she didn't lose her birth weight? Born 7lb 4oz and went up to 7lb 12oz by day 6!

Have a lovely Sunday everyone

Morning ladies,

Mama, I'm being induced due to gestational diabetes, last time they measured the baby at 34 weeks he/she was measuring on the 95th percentile, so being only 5' 2", this is going to be a big baby to try to deliver even at 38 weeks!

snoozle, ninewells allow two people, but only during active labour, before and after no-one, so will be on my own tonight and DH can only come back once they have phoned him or it's visiting hours tomorrow.

Have to present myself at the hospital this morning at 11.30 to start my induction, have been told not coming home till bubs is on the outside, so who knows how long it'll be till I can come back on to say hello, if I can I'll let DH update you all, but am hoping that things will go quickly and I'll be able to get home sooner than later.

I have to admit I'm very scared about how much this is all going to hurt, but on the other hand, having the baby at home will be lovely, especially as they were having a rave party last night for hours, I swear they must have dropped right into my pelvis, cos the movements were so much stronger and it felt like there was just so much more room in there for baby to boot the heck out of me, maybe a last hurrah before entering the big bad world for good?

Looking forward to hearing some more good news at the other side and hope you all keep yourselves healthy and happy and nesting away madly in the meantime [hgrin]

Welcome to Mama!

Thanks for sharing your birth story Cali

Good luck TwoJacks! All be over soon!

Mama I think the induction rate seems high just because the October births are all early, and are therefore the ones which, for one reason or another, are not deemed safe to be allowed to go full term. I'm sure there will be lots of spontaneous labours nearer our EDDs!

TwoJacks We will all be thinking of you......well you know how it goes on here

Not long and you can have a big glass of , I'm debating whether to sneak in a mini bottle of champagne.....yes I know BF and all that but one can only dream.

Twojacks best of luck! Hope all goes quickly and smoothly for you. Try not and worry, stress isn't productive and you are in safe hands and will have bibs here soon!
Mini bottle of champagne sounds awesome and I have considered it too even with the bf thoughts on my mind too. 1st one over and then perhaps a little glass to celebrate?
I haven't got exciting plans today. Got mountains of washing done yesterday, throw from one settee, going to donthe other today, all uniforms etc done so my lovely dc's will be pleased to have them to put away .... Not! Slept from 11.30 til 8.30 today with only one wake up for a horrid nightmare! Feel exhausted, so much so am considering phoning in work tomorrow. Think I need to start realising that at nearly 38 weeks pg work is way too much. OH wants me to call in sick and to start my mat leave as he has watched me getting more and more tired and zombie like! Plus I don't think baby will put in an appearance until I am a bit more relaxed.
Well done baby k on not losing birth weight as well! Very clever baby! Hope the sticky eyes and jaundice go quickly.
Well off to see if can get pg brain to engage so I can write this application form for my dream job!

twojacks good luck hon, baby will soon be in your arms.

mama when i had ds i only remember dilation being checked twice, once when i first got there and hours later when i'd decided i wanted the pethedine, but was already 10 so couldn't. i haven't heard about checking your bum to tell, have to admit i'm not sure i'd want them to. sounds weird maybe but i'd rather they check to usual way.

kelly oh i'm glad she wasn't scared. i was preparing ds the other day for dh and i going to hosp and dm looking after him, and he started crying saying he wanted to come with me, but i couldn't imagine him being there i'd be more concerned for him than what i was doing, but at home it's different.

oh my mil made me laugh the other day (i may have already said this i can't remember, apologies if i'm repeating myself) she was asking what was happening with ds when labour starts she then suggested that dh took ds over to hers leaving me on my own, dropping him off at hers before coming back (would take around an hour or so) we've already arranged for my mum to come over will take about an hour and half but at least it means dh will be with me, ds gets to stay at his own home, with his own bed and toys. she then gave me a guilt trip that ds had never slept at hers in all his 3 years so i spoke to dh and discussed with him about ds sleeping at hers on the 4th, dh phoned and all we got were problems. oh what about this and that and the other. i was so close to just saying oh forget it then, if you didn't mean it don't say it.

Good Luck twojacks try to relax and fingers crossed for a quick induction for you.

Thank-you for sharing your birth stories cali & kelly.

cep do what is right for you and DS, don't worry about what MiL says - it is your decision and you need to be comfortable with it.

assessing dilation during our NHS birth prep class the MW who lead it meantioned that their guidelines are to offer an internal to every *hrs or so but we are able to refuse these as often as we want. Her view was that a MW shouldn't need to check dilation to see how you are doing unless she was concerned about baby - a 'good' or experienced MW should be able to tell where abouts in labour a woman is by looking at her behaviour and listening to the woman. Obviously it is not as accurate but should be acceptable.

Had parent's eve with DS's teacher last week and he has a glowing report; academically he is really advanced and they are expecting him to achieve well :) Also discussed his anxieties about baby coming and his teacher is doing loads to ensure that he is open about any issues he has and has even got one of his friends (who has a 3month old baby sister) to talk to DS about how things change a little with a baby in the house - am so pleased that school are being so pro-active in helping me reassure DS.

Sleep is not happening here, kinda used to being up a lot at night and still functioning the following day but it is starting to take it's toll. It really frustrating as getting lots of painful BH at night that are often regular but they then ebb away...starting to worry that I will not be able to recognise when I am actually in labour until quite a way into it.

Am 38 weeks tomorrow so am happy for baby to come anytime, have been trying to walk loads (balancing it with SPD pain). All ready and prep'd, just a waiting game now :o

Hope everyone, bumps & babies are well xx

Ooh 2jacks - very exciting. Wishing you all the best. Out of the Elephant House 6 we will be halfway by early next week. Just Knocked, Ziggi and me to go and not even November!

Got a tens machine on eBay last night though seller is now saying it will be 2 weeks before I get it - maybe of no use then! Ho hum it was cheap so I'll have to resell it.

Loving the birth stories ladies.

Afternoon all. Hope things are going well TwoJacks. Keep going! Having one of those "my parents are here so I shall achieve LOADS" and then doing virtually nothing days here. Just no oomph. Oh dear. My dad appears to be down the garden sorting out our pigsty of a shed though, so someone is getting something done, thats good.
Right, I am going to go and try and persuade DS to take a nap. Poor snot faced creature that he is today.

Wow I can't believe half of the Elephant 6 have babies now - crazy!
Cali I hope I didn't offend you m'dear, I meant the births were very different in terms of their location, the way they were 'managed' and in particular the attitude of the medical staff. The lack of support from some who you had run ins with before was very disappointing but given human nature unfortunately not very surprising. And my heart went out to you when you described DP being sent home and you left to labour alone. I did labour without DH for most of DD's labour but it wasn't my first, and frankly I was never alone - I always had about half a dozen medical professionals with me, telling me about the NICU, what would happen when DD arrived, her long term issues. I was never alone really. And unlike some of the medics you had, mine were incredibly kind and supportive. Also DD's labour hardly hurt at all compared to DS's while your labour sounded very painful compared to Kelly's and mine - hence I was impressed at your stamina. Particularly with the epic pushing stage. Well done you for birthing your baby.

Not quite half yet Poppet, 2Jacks will make it half.

MrsA your question 'what happens if you have hired a doula?' got me wondering....So just out of nosiness, I did a quick google, and the nearest one I can find seems to be in Yorkshire. I'm outside Belfast, so I'm thinking it wouldn't be that convenient for her! I can only assume that wanting a doula in the room is something that they probably haven't come across yet, they don't seem to have reached backwards old Northern Ireland! . I still know plenty of women who do the whole thing without a birth partner because their DHs think it's women's work, and no one I know would be at all comfortable with having their mother/sister/friend there. We're very old fashioned .

Actually, in all seriousness, things seem quite different here in a lot of ways - there was no choice as to what hospital to give birth in, no discussion of birth plans or preferences, and I have never in my life heard of someone having a home birth or an independent midwife. As far as I know, there are only two midwife led units here (neither within travelling distance for me, although I suspect with my previous history I would not have been considered suitable anyway) and they have only opened within the past couple of years. One of them is so underused that they are only averaging 1 birth a week, and there was a big scandal on the news here a few months ago when they turned away a mother who was overdue, and was worried about reduced movement, even though the unit had no patients and was fully staffed and she went on to have a stillbirth . I think we might have some catching up to do here when it comes to maternity services, although I should say that personally I feel the care I have received so far has been good. Sorry, went off on a tangent there, but Mrs A had made an interesting point about doulas!