December 2011- over halfway there!

[sevendwarves]

Welcome to the new thread ladies!

My DH is the same jomouse. I'm hoping that when we enter "T3" the imminent arrival will dawn on him. Especially if I tell him your November board news - holy crap indeed! The best I've done - inbetween the cricket, US Open, Football and Athletics - was to get him to give 20 minutes to put some thought into names. (wW have at least now got a possibles list of about 10 - first and middle name combos)
I am interested in hypnobirthing, but I don't think it's going to happen. If it does, it may be that I read a book/watch a CD and just decide on a few actions to concentrate on to help me through... Maybe I'm as bad as DH! I've only managed about 7 pages of my breastfeeding book so far. I really must crack on!
...two premature babies from the November thread. Yikes!

OMG...that puts it all into perspective especially as I am at the early end of things here (EDD on Dec 3rd) and initially started out on the November board when they thought EDD was going to be Nov 30th.

We have our first prenatal class on the 15th and then first hypnobirthing class on the 18th of september - I'll let you know how it goes jomouse!

at November thread already having babies!

Hi all,

I posted early on and have been lurking ever since! Being brave enough to speak up again now.

I have had a number of strange stomach issues which basically mean that my stomach doesnt seem to drain well at the moment, which can lead to it becoming distended and HUGE so it stretches the width of my ribcage and is agony. I have been taken into A and E twice with really bad pains which needed gas and air for about 5 hours! I have also had 5 other attacks 2 of which seem to be managed by a new medication!

Well the real point im trying to make is my midwife is crap!

From the start she is been really short and abrupt and not forthcoming with information, even though this is my first. She has never really been warm or smilled, she just behaves like this is the millionth time she has done this (which i know it prob is) but its not for me and i feel a bit lost. At my 24 week scan her boss was there for her as normal midwife was away. It was WONDERFUL i learned so much and felt much more secure.
Today i had my 28 week check and my normal midwife was back, i had a list as long as my arm of questions and she answered with simple, short answers, never adding more detail or volunteering anything else.

So i have decided she is just a bit crap! Sorry a bit of a rant, just wondered if this is normal and I am being a bit precious!

welcome back laurasmurf.
Is your midwife your community midwife - at a local practice? I seem to have two that cover my practice, and have had appts with both. Both mine are nice, but not very good at putting forward information or ideas. (there's no way they would have suggested birthing pools, hypnobirthing etc. The help is very basic.) Neither of them would be my MW at the birth, in the hospital I guess you get whoever is free and on duty...? maybe one of them would be my MW if I did it at home.
What I'm getting at is, will she be your MW at the birth, or is she just for your antenatal appts? If it's the latter, can you make your appts on her day off so that you always get someone else or her boss?
You can be more direct and request to see the boss or a.n.other, but I guess this isn't so easy to do.

Changing topic, I've just written a quick email to my bestfriend to tell her that I wasn't going to go to bodypump tonight, and that my days of bodypump are over. (I'll go to next Tuesday's class as my swansong farewell to everyone) And then I burst into tears when I realised it was the end of an era. Two years of going to the classes together 3 or 4 times a week - it's where we see each other regularly and where we catch up. (we don't get out much!)
Must be pregnancy hormones if I'm crying about not going to the gym for god's sake! My bestmate and I can make an effort to catch an hour together for a coffee and a catch up. Buck up vanessa!
...still teary-eyed. It is sad.

@jomouse - yikes! Your news about the prem babies in the Nov board has just given me a mini panic attack!!!

Regarding weight gain, I haven't got a clue! I never weighed myself before I was pregnant (pure denial), and although I know I was weighed at my first hospital appointment (and the docs have a record from before) I have no idea what i weigh now or how much weight I have gained. I know that I cannot get into my skinny jeans comfortably :( , but am still wearing a pair of (well-worn) pre-preg jeans ok, and tops too.

It's back to work tomorrow after the Summer hols and I am really not looking forward to it. It's teacher training for 2 days but after the exam results you know its all going to boring data analysis, which I care even less than normal about as I'll be gone on mat leave by December! Ho hum! No idea how I'm going to get my ass out of bed in the morning!

25 week mw apt today... was fine, but she annoyed me, because she held my leg just below my knee and said "ooo not much fat on there" ... whats that got to do with me being pregnant??!!

Well work sent me to see the company doctor today (something they do when they think you are taking the piss, so they dont have to pay you), kind of backfired on them though, as he said im not fit for work, signed me off for 4 weeks, and i have a review in 4 weeks time, he doesnt think i will be back before maternity.

AWCH oimissus we are going to the baby show too... we are on saturday

lala i am going to try and follow the sensational baby sleep plan, but not exactly, and also im prepared to forget it all together if needs be, i know 3 people who followed it and its great... but i also realise when the time comes i may just go with the flow!

As for weight gain i am 5'4 i was 119 llbs, now i am 140llbs (10 stone) ihavent seen a weight calculator so i dont know what is classed as "normal"

jomouse OMG OMG OMG the preemies on the Nov thread have completely freaked me out. I just keep saying to myself over & over there has never been an early baby in my family I have far too much to do to before LO is born as I have told him/her repeatedly today.

I have my first 3 hours of Hypnobirthing course on Sunday so I'll let you know how we get on. I'm a bit worried DP will have trouble taking it seriously as like your DH he is decidedly "meh" about the preparations...I'm trying to scare him with the Nov ladies news but he's so laidback he's practically horizontal.

kri5ty why would your legs need to be fat to have a baby? In fact why would your lower legs get any bigger at all...think I'd have just given her a big & said "thanks"...seriously, what a weirdo. Sorry if there are any MW's reading but do you think it's something they teach at midwifery school; I've seen 4 different MW's so far & they've all been quite odd.

Congrats on getting signed off by the way...I'm sure you'll be bored by the end of the week but if you're not fit to work then at least someone's taking it seriously at last!

I agree honey... I have seen 5 mws, and my consultant, and they have all been pretty naf! It's what I would like to do. But I would like to do it to make people feel at ease! I didn't say anything when she held my leg... just kind of looked at her!

Dunno about hypnobirthing, but I found my first two labours were very much helped by a trick called "contraction counting". It works like this:

When you get a contraction coming on, breathe in and out slowly. Breathe in any way you want, but on the way out make your mouth into an "o" so you breathe out through it (kind of a puff). At the same time picture yourself going up a hill walking or on a bike, or in a car, or up a roller coaster, you know it's a long way up but you'll hit a peak soon and come down again. Count slowly (one thousand, two thousand, three thousand, etc) and notice which number you get to when the contraction is strongest. Then keep counting as it goes off and see how far you get before its gone. When the contraction's on the way down visualise yourself coming down the hill/rollercoaster and enjoy the fact that it's going away.

As you get through labour you'll notice the contractions last for longer, this is progress as it means you're close to meeting baby.

I found this really helped as concentrating on doing all the counting bits is really distracting and made the contractions a lot calmer and easier to deal with, i felt like they were really getting me somewhere. And then someone lovely got the gas and air out and that did the rest! So it's worth giving a try to see if it helps you girls too, nothing to lose, right?

msbuggy thanks for the yoga advice, it's eased now but if it comes back I'll definitely give it a go.

kristy yay for getting signed off, that'll teach them!

oimissus I sort of know how you feel. DS is 3 and is going to be home-educated. My best friend's DS is only 2 weeks older than mine, since they were tiny they've always played together while we have a catch up. He's starting pre-school full-time next week, so I'm a bit sad for DS as well as for myself. I knew they wouldn't get to play together much when he started school but didn't expect it to be for at least another year :(

It's quite scary that they already have babies on the November thread, wonder who will be first on here? It's quite odd to think how many weeks we have left, yet if any of us above 24 weeks had our babies now they could survive

I was planning on packing my hospital bag at 30 weeks as I had DS at 35 weeks, that still feels like ages away though. We still need to build the cot but the rest of the nursery is organised, just need to put stickers up. I have some baby clothes already washed and the mattresses on order. Is anyone else anywhere near organised?

Not organised seven! though i did pick up some nice starter baby clothes from Freecycle last week ( passed on everything from the DDs!) and when i was there the nice lady mentioned she was flogging her moses basket for £15 and was I interested?! So I now have a moses basket and a bag of newborn clothes. And hossed a couple of packs of night-time towels in the trolley at the supermarket. I reckon that's a start....

Have been super busy, so just been lurking this last week.

Also freaked by the Nov babies news! I'm also 3rd Dec dd. We just accepted an offer on our house today (delighted) and they're keen to push things through v quickly so baby better not show up super early. At the same time know the next weeks will fly by...

Not remotely organised so just taking one day at a time (takes deep breath).

Just floating through ladies. Having a bit of a low spot. Feeling weary and unprepared and alone.

Good to see that the mental midwife is a nationwide thing. I have had some lovely ones though, just seem to have scored for a career/line toeing one this time.

Enjoy the rest of the week.

Congratulations bluebells on the house news! So !
Chin up LMF, feeling weary and unprepared is normal. Unprepared you can fix by just getting a few things. (And I mean a few coz these little uns don't need much at the beginning.) Sorry you're feeling alone.
It won't help, but I was alone last night. DH is down in Bristol with work. I went to bed at 10-ish, picked up my breastfeeding book (trying to be more prepared), read a bit, then took ages to finally get to sleep... probably just before 11. DH in his imminent wisdom, knowing that I usually go to bed at 10 and to sleep at 10, texted me at 11:30!!! And woke me up making it impossible to go back to sleep. Why I oughtaaa...!!!
aethel thanks for the counting technique. I oughta look into these kinds of things - I am sure that they will help a LOT!
Still freaking about early babies. Don't think there have been any in my family, not sure about DH's...

seven The first year when everyone else on the planet (well, it felt like that to us!) goes off to nursery does feel weird, but DD1 would be going into Y1 if she was schooled and we have a new normal now, have made lots of HE friends and can't wait for the schools to go back so we can return to living in the museum!

My community mw (only one works at our GP as it is a one doctor GP surgery!) is utterly lovely. Have had some very odd ones in the past though, it just depends on which you happen to click with. Mine got on my good side straight away as she booked my home birth right away and was really keen to chat about how I found hb with DD2. She also knows a bit about breast feeding through pregnancy, the one I had last time made the mistake of telling me I had to stop and was met with a deluge of information!

Schools all go back tomorrow! Yay! We're having our Home Ed group's 'not back to school picnic' next week at the museum, really looking forward to seeing everyone who has been away a lot over the summer!

You have no idea what a relief it is to find out others are struggling with weird midwives too!! I know it doesn't make mine any better, but somehow it makes it easier!!
Thankfully she won't be at the birth, no chance, even if she is doing her in hosp rotation we are not at the closest hosp as I have a clotting disorder so am at the larger hosp 15 miles away.

As for being organised, well we finished the nursery yesterday, but only really because I go back to school on Monday and it was my summer project!! We have travel system, car seat and base (kiddicare sale!) cot, changing table and mum sent over the rocking chair and stool! So sorta prepared! No clothes or bedding though!

The idea of having baby now is scary, but I'm due 2nd December so I am practically a november birth! Terrifying!

I'd be happy with a wierd mid-wife... I can't even get my 25 week appointment! I was supposed to arrange it with my GP... and because of moving house I have had to register with a new GP... and it is taking ages. Hopefully though it will be done by next week and then I can schedule my appointment!

As for weight gain ... I am 5'7" and I was 10 stone and now I am a whopping 165lb... 11st + 11lb.... !!!

Anyway... I am taking everone's advice and doing little reading on styles and just on general baby care...

Plus those who go to the baby show in Manchester this weekend please report back! I haven't started shopping... and plan to go to the show in London and buy everything in one go... so I just wanted to find out if that will be feasible!

seven I'm very impressed by how prepared you are especially that you've washed clothes already . I've bought a car seat but have no base yet, a baby bouncer, disposable nappies & clothes but I have lots of washing to do & I have to paint & convert a small wardrobe into a kids wardrobe before I even start all that. Planning on bed sharing so I have no cot but I am considering a bedside crib (to put DP's mind at rest) but only if family want to buy us one. Also, we're planning on moving from our room to the spare room but it needs a freshen up of paint first so it feels like there's tonnes to do & no time left at all.

On the subject of washing clothes;this sounds like such a dumb question but what are you ladies planning on using to wash LO's clothes in? I'd like the clothes to stay supersoft but I've bought a lot of things from ebay & I was going through it all at the weekend to see what I had & what I still needed & I got the worst headache from the overwhelming smell of fabric softener. Is the only way to keep clothes soft to drown them in the stuff? If it gives me a headache surely it can't be good for baby's sensitive nose?

Sorry about the long message but I'm a little bit hyperactive today as I woke at 6am & couldn't get back to sleep I was so hot & restless; feeling rubbish now; is this what the 3rd trimester feels like? :(

I use soap nuts to wash everything (lots of super sensitive skin in our house, all washing liquids bring me out in blisters!) and stick white vinegar and a couple of drops of lavender in the conditioning bit. Vinegar keeps things soft and doesn't smell, lavender is just because I like it!

So far I have done...the cloth nappy top up order
got all the clothes down from the loft and organised them
washed my newborn slings
cleaned out the freezer ready for all the meals and cakes I'll make before she is born
painted the playroom (gives the big DDs somewhere else to play so I can give birth in the living room!)
booked my doula
done all of the baby knitting

Not much left to do really, packing a box with my home birth stuff, cooking for the freezer, borrowing a birth pool from a friend, I start hypnobirthing at 30 weeks. I'm not usually this organised, but I need the next couple of months to sort Christmas!

Wow you sound so on top of things.

Has everyone already made a birth plan? No one has even asked me where I want to give birth... whether it is in the hospital or home, whether it is in a MW led or consultant led ward etc...

msbuggywinkle you put me to shame!
also, while I have you - I know that you recommended a great BF book, but I can't find the link anywhere. Would you mind reposting?

honey - did you get the hypnobirthing cd I sent in the end? I know you're now having classes but still might be useful.

Sorry for freaking everyone out with the premmie news! I'm sure we'll all be fine and have full term babies. Still, worth a thought, eh?

Wow mrsbuggy and seven. You are so organised (or you are normal and we are totally disorganised, which is more likely!)

We have done nothing at all except sign up for antenatal and hypnobirthing classes. We've been given a few clothes as gifts - seven vests, 5 babygros. But that's it. We've got a LOT to do but I don't go on mat leave for another 2 months...

We haven't planned any further than going out this evening to buy a real bed and mattress - we sleep on the floor and recently I have felt like a beetle on its back in the morning trying to get up and out of bed.

lala my MW asked me this at the 10 week appointment because it affected where I went for the 12 week scan. They said I could still change my mind to a home birth anywhere up to 35 weeks.

jomouse So sorry...baby brain....I was sure I'd emailed you to say I received it I did start to listen to it but I'm having trouble relaxing; money worries keep creeping into my thoughts. I'm hoping the course will help although the cost of it is part of the worry; I've almost cancelled it half a dozen times this week cos I feel guilty about needing it so much especially when I won't even know my placenta isn't going to get in the way of a natural birth until 32 weeks. :(

msbuggy I'm of your baby knitting...it's on my list to remind myself how to knit & then get started but I may not start until the LO is born at this rate. I felt sooo organised back in the 1st trim...where has all the time gone???

My birth plan is done, well, it is a set of bullet points really as I'm pretty sure midwives won't be bothered to read a huge one. Seemed to work for DD2's birth anyway..although I'm predicting a fuss about lotus birth again.

My plan mainly says over and over again...explain any medical intervention, I do not consent until you have explained why and don't offer me any drugs unless an instrumental delivery becomes necessary.