TTC 6 mths+ GRADS THREAD

[Biscuitsandtea]

Afternoon.

I thought I'd start a Grads thread for those of us previously on the TTC 6 mths+ thread. I've been lurking on the ttc thread recently to see how everyone is getting on (having only very recently qualified to move off it!) and a few people were saying what a nice idea it would be if there was a grads thread so we don't lose each other.

Anyway, would be lovely to hear from other lovely ladies that were on that thread - or even if you were never on the ttc thread but had a sticky time of it getting your bfp then come and settle down with a decaf cuppa for a chat.

Congratulations Art on your dinky baby girl :-)

And looking forward to hearing a new announcement teu - (I never dropped with either of mine - but I hear it's not always that pleasant!)

art! Congratulations on your gorgeous little girl. You sound really loved up and happy... I did see a photo on t'other place and I must say that is one beautiful, beautiful baby. Really really lovely news. I hope you and MrA get lots of time enjoying her and this magical time.

teu good luck! I love how babies 'engage' - ready to launch! Hope you feel ok, I hear the last tail end of pregnancy can be pretty rough, poor thing. Looking forward to hearing a lovely announcement from you, hang in there!

eleth at your older child waking up refreshed after you'd been on an exhausting walk to get him to sleep! Glad little H is giving you a slightly easier time of it.

mellow amazing skills with the walking breastfeeding, wow at getting the hang of it so fast! I'm a bit nervous about BFing (although I really really want to do it) as I hear it isn't intuitive. Glad your little lad is gaining weight and hope he lets you have some sleep!

All well here, 17 weeks today. Can't feel anything yet apart from stretchy womble twinges (round ligament pain?). Watched 'the business of being born' last night online and worrying about whether to do a natural childbirth class or not - they are so pricey that if I can learn enough from books and yoga I think I'll go that route. Does anyone have any tips? I have the hypnobirthing book and CD, although I've only leafed through the book, not listened to the CD yet.

Hi ladies,

I feel like a total hypochondriac eeks honestly I do.
My partner and I have been trying to conceive for about
8 months now. My last period was 29th June 2013, 2 weeks before my next period was due, I had one day of random spotting, I had hoped it was implantation bleeding, so I didn't expect to get the next period.

Fast forward, I didn't get my period as expected one the 29th July. I have had all kinds of symptoms, cramping, nausea, fatigue, diarrhea, headaches, just about everything and no period. I'm normally on clock work, but I am now 22 days late. I tested the first day I was late, negative. The following week of being late, again negative, and about 5 days after that at the Dr's office, again negative!

Since I has been having increases discharge, my dr told me she believe I have thrush and so she prescribed me some pessary's, I took one and within moment of use, I was having a pale pink/peach coloured discharge.
I had light spotting after this, on occasion it would be pink, then dark red and then very dark brown.
I have no idea what this means, but I extremely fatigued (could be because I have suddenly come down with a cold). With that said, my next period is due 28th August. I'm not sure what is going on.

My dr said its quite normal to miss a period, but I have missed one. Been like clock work from the day they started.
I came off the implant last September, and even them.. The first month and every other month has been regular.

I'm very concerned, and would love any input any of you may have or if you've had any experience of these issues and how you were able to get back on track.

Thanks Ladies :)

Thought I better check in with you all. We have a little boy 7lb 10, born Thursday 15 Aug following induction and a 3.5 hour labour!

"Just in case" bloods ordered by my midwife on the Wednesday showed I was a-symptomatic for pre-eclampsia (and probably choleastasis). I was induced that evening. Definitely not the labour I thought we might have, but the hyponobirth breathing was excellent and I was only assisted at the end (ventouse) because baby was showing distress. We are all well now and finally got home on Tuesday.

Sorry not to name check. Calm in the storm waiting for the next feed (got boobs to rival Dolly Parton!).

congrats teu looking forward to finding out the name

Brilliant news teu and congrats on the big boobs :-)

They do say that if you have high BP or pre-eclampsia the body just wants the baby out and you tend to have fast labours - got to be a bonus of being induced under those circumstances!

Enjoy your baby boy!

We got our little one weighed today at 11 wks and he's a heft 16lb 3oz (so nearly doubled his birth weight - little podger that he is :-D

Ah - what absolutely fantastic news teu, congratulations on your sweet little chap and the boobs! Sounds like you managed labour brilliantly. Hope he's letting you and MrT get some sleep.

eleth Hamish is a little champ already, how lovely that he's getting so strong, I love baby chub.

Waves to buzz

elle you're probably best getting advice on the Conception board or just going back to the doctor again. That does sound confusing, sorry not to be more help!

Hi all

teu what fantastic news! Congratulation on your baby boy. Sounds like everything went very quickly with your labour. I was induced too, it was 8 hours between going on the drip and Mini Art being born and i was told that was fast! I'm a bit at the Dolly Parton norks. Mine are still only 2 cup sizes bigger than my minimalist pre-preg size!

ele sounds like everything is going brilliantly with Hamish. Double his birth weight! I bet the time has just flown.

Critter we did the NCT natural childbirth classes and I tried to learn hypno birthing from a book. I wouldn't say the latter was very successful. I found the CD quite limited and didn't use any of it in labour, probably because it wasn't ingrained. I did come to it quite late. I think you have to immerse yourself like Princess did. Because my labour was induced (waters broke, nothing happened, it was 36 hours later before hospital finally had staff available to get things going) I couldn't have the water birth I wanted nor could I move around much as I was attached to a drip throughout and wired to a load of monitoring equipment. Some of the natural birthing info was useful but much became irrelevant. That's not to say it wasn't worth doing, just that it's also good to plan for alternatives. Of 4 from my NCT class who have given birth none of us had the labour we 'wanted'. I actually had the least intervention but only because there was no anaesthetist when I was yelling for the epidural! Thankfully I was closer to the pushing stage than anyone thought and got by on gas and air, swearing, and going into another zone entirely, helped by music. If you are a musical person a good playlist is invaluable.

Hope everyone is well. I'm finding life with a newborn is exhausting and all-consuming. She is brilliant and I wouldn't change it but would quite like some sleep every now and then. Nobody tells you that small babies are basically nocturnal. Nor that BFing is a 24/7, full-time job! It took us a while to get the hang of it but she is gaining weight now, though i cant imagine i'll ever be discreet enough to BF in public. Mellow i am in awe and could do with some tips! We didn't have any visitors last week but they are starting to book themselves in now. It's quite hard work even with people you like. Mr A's friends and relatives in particular tend to chat for a couple of hours when I would really rather be napping, then leave me with baby while they take him to the pub . Even so I have no idea how I will manage on my own when he goes back to work. Tales from the other side welcome!

I had better go. I don't know where today has disappeared to but mini art is hungry again... Love to all, hope you are all well.

Art so good to hear from you, and sorry your birth wasn't what you wanted, but sounded like you coped well.

I bought the hynobirthing book, read it, bought the cd - never took it out of its wrapper :-) However, like you, I found music was the best way through it and I do think I gained from reading the book, even though I didnt do any of the script stuff, it just made me a bit more prepared, but then I was lucky, this was second time round for me - first time round I was a screaming shrieking mess - so hats off to you :-D

Re: visitors, I limited them to 1 hour stays for the first few weeks - anything longer than that was just too much with a newborn, they always need attention and your knackered and can't really be ars*d (well, I was!) So, I'd tell them they only had an hour before they turned up (managed their expectations!)

I was dreading the first day without Mr E, but it was actually fine, the fear of doing it all by yourself is much scarier than the reality, it's just a bit tiring, but totally doable, and by the end of the first week you'll wonder what you were worrying about (honest!).

We were looking at photos of Hamish we'd taken when he was first born and in the first couple of weeks and he's just so different now - for a start he's massive, with a big fat face and most of his hair has fallen out so he looks balder, and he's totally lost that 'curled up' newborn stretch and that lovely little 'o' face they make (and he's only 12 weeks tomorrow - it's amazing how quickly they change - relish the time you have now as much as you can, she'll be a big fat baby in no time at all :-)

I always dread bfeeding in public (as ideally I like to have him on a pillow while feeding in the house, so always feel clumsy when I'm doing it out and about) but it's never as bad as you think it will be, you'll be an old hat at it soon (and it has to be easier than sterilising bottles and listening to a screaming baby while you warm them up).

Ok, my little bundle of podge is awake and I'm playing baby walking tag with Mr E (his half hour of carrying him around is almost up, so I better tag myself in!)

Hope everyone is doing well!

art thanks so much for the advice. I think I'm going to sign us up for classes in something called the Bradley Method which is I think similar to NCT but a bit more militant... mainly so I can make some local new mum friends here, but also because I am signed up with super crunchy granola midwives who run a birth center within a hospital and they are very strict about being 'committed to a natural birth' - am scared I won't manage it without some preparation! The choice here seems to be either super-medicalised with really high c-section rates, or super earth mother au naturel mode homebirth... this was the most 'in-between' option I could find. They don't have gas and air or TENS machines (I'm planning to buy one when I'm next over in October) so it's either nothing or an epidural on the drugs front. It's really reassuring to hear how you survived - great tip on the playlist - I can make that MrC's department.

Love the idea of newborns being nocturnal, like little woodland creatures, so cute, although I bet the reality is less adorable at 4am! I do hope little baby art (who is utterly and completely gorgeous, by the way, I really truly thing 10 plussers have the most beautiful beautiful babies!) settles down to give you and MrA some sleep soon.

cross post eleth, aw chubby babies are the greatest, glad little H is thriving, he sounds absolutely edible! Great advice on the visitors, I will be scrolling back here come January for some top tips!

Teu - delighted for you. Congrats on your bouncing baby boy, how exciting.

will catch up properly this weekend.

art I don't know of many women who have had the labour/birth they were hoping for, things happen that you can't control, I had my IV intralipids today and listening to this womans birthing experience has kind of freaked me out, the hospital said that due to my age they wouldn't want me to go to far past my due date and would give me a sweep and induce me, after talking to this lady and the mid wife I not really keen on the idea at all, I'm also thinking of a home birth now as at least I would have the midwife to myself, but then think if anything goes wrong I'm not in the hospital

ele little H sounds adorable

teu I hope you are ok with your little one

critter I am surprised that they don't offer you gas and air in the states, i thought they would have more options, what about water births??

I remember years ago there was a programme about 4 women who had chosen different birthing techniques, and there was a young Brazilian couple early 20's and HE had decided that she should have a natural birth at the end they asked him what he thought, he was quite traumatised by her experience of giving birth, my opinion, no utrerus no say!!

Can I ask you ladies what books you bought if any

Hi Buzzy,

I'm the queen of being induced as I was induced for both of mine - first one was very quick, very intense and i coped really badly - second one was amazing, felt very relaxed, contractions weren't sore for ages and I did the whole thing with no pain relief at all - contrast to the first time!

However, I opted for induction this time round as I'm 41 and was also wary of the risks of full-term still birth (not massive risks but I just couldnt face it, and the closer I got to term the more scared I got about something going wrong). Whereas first time it was forced on me as I had pre-eclampsia.

(I gave details of my birth story early on in this thread just to let people know that it is possible to have an induced 'on the drip' labour that is pretty natural - if you're feeling a bit scared by it all, have a read of it, it might help?)

I bought and read two books - "effective birth preparation" by maggie howell - its a natal hypnotherapy book. I didnt' do much (if any) of the hypnotherapy stuff (like creating scripts etc) but i did find it really useful to read and to help me prepare mentally.

Other book I read and found useful (maybe preferable to the howell one if you're not that bothered about hypnotherapy?) was "the good birth companion" by Nicole Croft.

Both of them cover how your body prepares for labour and how the muscles all work (for some reason I found it really useful to think of my uterus as a muscle that was working to push the baby out, really helped me through the contractions).

If you want a home birth go for it - i always wanted either a water birth or home birth, but I live in a different health board area to my nearest hospital so choosing a home birth would have been complicated and I'd have had to have had all my prenatal checks at a hospital 40 minutes away (rather than just 10 mins away).

My mum had my sister at home way back in the day and loved it :-)

ele thanks for that, after chatting to some preggy woman and a couple of midwives, they have all suggested a home birth and have said I can change my mind and go into hospital and I'll have the midwife with me, they said due to my age they would not let me go over, art I think we are similar age ?? Feel free to give me a virtual slap if I am wrong

I shall start to look at books soon as I haven't bothered with anything yet, we still haven't decided which room we'll put the baby in, we only have two bedrooms

Waves to sar, hope the nausea has subsided a little - you've had a rough time of it!

buzzy we only have two bedrooms too and one of them is above our grumpy and noise-sensitive neighbour, who clomps about in heels on the wood floor but has told us we aren't allowed to wear shoes in the house - guess which one we plan to put the baby in? I'd better warn her actually - I don't think she'll be happy we're expecting! You can have water births here if you have a birth at a birth center in a hospital which has one (which is what I am doing - birth centre, but natural with midwives) although apparently they make you get out of the tub to deliver. Or you can have a water birth at home. I really like the idea of a home birth but MrC was nervous about it. I'd say go for it! When do they consider you to have 'gone over'? 41 weeks or 40 weeks? My friend who's in France told me French doctors judge due dates based on 41 weeks gestation, not 40.

eleth you are totally the voice of wisdom, thanks so much for all the top tips - it was actually really nice to read your happy induction story and really reassuring. Hope little Hamish is thriving still and that you're getting some lovely weather where you are!

I wonder how princess is getting along?

critter the French are happy to go over the so called due date 42 weeks is normal to them, I shall see how things go and maybe have a discussion with them closer to the time, they get a bit OTT here and use what I would call scare tack ticks,

right now our biggest headache is where Barry will be working, he wants to be around so is thinking of taking some time odd to be around me at the end, as he pointed out if I went into labour in the small hours he wouldn't be able to get to me until the morning and he is 4 hours away, but then he might have another contract by then which could be just as far away or be jobless I'm trying hard not to worry about it

also freaked out by my lack of symptoms and thinking of getting a private scan

Sorry things are so stressful and up in the air with Barry's work buzz - as you say, it sounds like you don't know what the situation will be come the end of Jan (which is I think when your due date is) and you can't plan in advance. Hopefully things will be resolved by then and you won't have to worry about it. I can imagine it would be an extra layer of stress on top of the pregnancy worries though, poor you. On the symptom front - if it helps, I don't really have any symptoms either (and as far as I remember art didn't either) now - only mild nausea and the odd twinge, and I can't feel the baby moving yet (am 18 +5). I think it's normal. Isn't your 20 week scan not too far off? That said, if you can manage a reassurance scan, why not. It's so nice to see the little creature. Or you could buy a doppler and then you can hear its heartbeat whenever you like? Big hug to you, sorry you are feeling so worried.

A massive CONGRATS to teu!! Yay another 10+ers baby. I'm so pleased for you and hope all is going well.

Congrats to art again too! Baby art looks just gorgeous on t'other place, as do you lady. I would never ever guess you'd just had a baby - you look all thin, gorgeous and unknackered. Hope all's going well for you too.

critter the birth choices sound a bit pants in the States . I'm really lucky in that all being well I can book into the MW led centre at the hospital , but the delivery suite is just over the corridor and I can go over there if I decide I need drugs. I'm really not sure how I'm going to react. Knowing me, I'll be screaming for an epidural in 2 mins. I can't afford hypno birthing on top of the NCT classes and am a little dubious it'd do anything for me, tho my totally un-woo mum swears by it, having done it to give birth sans drugs to my 9lb10 brother!

buzz sorry to hear about the worries. It never stops does it? When is your 20 week scan? My latest worry is that I've been getting some watery discharge and am worried it's my waters leaking! probably more likely to be wee

ele has Hamish been to any more gigs with his hipster parents?! :) Hope all is still going well. Cos of the blood flow resistance thing, I've been told I'd be induced at 41 weeks. It's good to hear it's not always terrifying and also nice to hear from someone who produced a perfectly healthy baby despite pre eclampsia

Hello sar, my bump buddy! How are you doing? I hope you are feeling better. My nausea has mostly gone, but I now have terrible indigestion. I had to ask the gp if it's possible to overdose on gaviscon! Apparently not... Have you started buying stuff? I ordered some clothing in the mamas and papas discount weekend sale. I think in late Sept we may hit Kiddicare and try to get a load more stuff. I feel a bit like I'm tempting fate by buying stuff, but find the idea of not being prepared more stressful! And most of these places have long returns periods...

Hope everyone else is well. The ginster is moving a LOT now. I can't believe how strong some of the kicks are. I managed to film my tummy looking like something from alien to send to my parents the other day. She appears to go nuts whenever the Beastie Boys are on the radio, so we may well have a riot girrrl on our hands

Congrats art and teu, hope all going well! Buzzy, my induction at 40 weeks was also fine and I know equal numbers of women who had ok labours following inductions as didn't. And plenty of women not induced who had a bad time. Ultimately it is all beyond your control and I think accepting that is the beginning of it all going well. I think that is the strength of hypno birthing, feeling like you have a strategy to cope with whatever happens. Focus on having a baby at the end rather than the means of arrival.

All good here, 6 weeks old and I don't know where the time goes ( well apart from feeding, walking baby around the house., changing nappies and doing enormous piles of washing covered in tiny splodges of milk!)
We have a screamer which at 3am is a challenge! But he has slept for six hour stretches a couple of times so I feel optimistic! Not feeling like professional breastfeeder as latch has deteriorated for some reason so nipples sore again although he is getting plenty of milk. Going to see an advisor tomorrow, fingers crossed for tips!
Generally, though tiring, all good. We do something every day. Lovely walk in green and st james park yesterday followed by browse of national gallery. V cultural! And I'm spending all my pay on coffee and cake with friends!! :)
I lurk more than post, but lovely to hear from you all abs hope all continues to go well!

mellow I am quite aware that it will be out of my control, my worry is that I hear very few good stories about having a baby in this country full stop especially induced ones, i'm also unimpressed by the scare monger tack ticks used by some midwives, the most honest and helpful person I have met is the midvife who does my iv intralipids who also works at kings, I am fortunate that where I am the midwives appear helpful and understanding. I am not really interested in hypno birthing again have heard mixed reviews, and like gin don't really have the money to spend on it,
my biggest concern right now is making sure my body doen't kill my baby off as it is around this time that my immunes flare up so actually giving birth seems an age away

Hello all! Hope bumps, new bundles and ladies are all ire :) Me and ma lickle one are loving a bit of rasta mouse and quite a few other cbeebies programmes. Mini princess needs a lot of entertainment so we do a lot of playing, walking, going to Brighton, looking at plants in the garden (she can't get enough of trees) with a little telly thrown in so I can have a small break during the day. And I do talk or sing with the programmes so i don't feel too bad! Especially as we all have colds and mini princess is full of snuffles at the moment.

As for us, we've watched a lot of dexter and we're loving being parents

Huge congrats Teu! What amazing and wonderful news :) Well done! Are we allowed to know the name? Understand if that's private and that you don't want it on MN.

Art I'll second gin in saying that you look amazing and you all look so well and happy on t'other place. Simply gorgeous. Funny to think that none of us were in this place this time last year. Happy times :)

mellow wow, Hyde park and the national portrait gallery! Tres cultured and sophisticated. Makes me feel for cbeebies and walks to the coop. On balance, she does get Satie and Debussy in her swing chair. Sound like it's all going really well for you guys :)

gin ha at riot girrrrl. Love the idea of her 'dancing' to beastie boys. Just makes me think of "we gotta a right to paaaaaaaaartaaaaasy". Incidentally mini princess loves dub and Frenchie Frenchie disco like daft punk etc and balances with a love of Debussy! That's my girl :) I hope you're feeling ok and that you're able to relax a bit more. If it's any consolation I wee'd myself a small bit several times a day during the last week of pregnancy. I don't wee myself now. I hope that's a small consolation! It's just the added pressure on the bladder / difficulty to move quickly avec bump. No-one seems to talk about it though and initially I felt ashamed but then I gave birth to a big baby and it all made sense. Maybe baby ginster is moshing on your bladder or bouncing on it like a bouncy castle. Incidentally, when I get bored of nursery rhymes I sing mighty boosh crimps - favourite is "bouncy bouncy oh what a good time". I lived for Gaviscon in pregnancy too. Nothing wrong with mini princess either so I second the doctor in saying knock ya self out!!. I prefer the tablets to the liquid but hated picking bits of chalk out of my teeth. I'm not sure how I would have coped without my chalky pills in the second half.

critter, lovely critter, glad things are going ok for you and your symptoms have subsided. How far are you through now? I'm a bit lost as to who is up next? I'm also shocked at how terrible the maternity leave is in the States. I thought SMP at £135 p/w was pretty awful but 6 weeks of your sick leave and holiday!! Pfffff! Is childcare amazing / cheap? Do all mom's express milk for nursery? I was also mega at your poor friend and her in laws!!

buzzy I'm sorry about the stress and uncertainty. I hope you're otherwise ok and healthy. Btw your photos are beautiful, you've got a real talent with the camera.

Ele Hamish sounds lovely as usual! Sounds like mini princess and Hamish could wear matching Tudor hats together for their voracious love of booby milk! We've got to the stone mark at 9 weeks How is DS1 with the baby?

Waves to everyone else!

If stacks, heart, ladyg or frannie or any other former 10 plussers are reading - hello to you all and hope the babes and mum's are all thriving xx

I'm not sure what I'm going to do re going back to work. I had a melt down the other day because I can't imagine leaving mini princess. I had planned to go back part time from Jan but I'm not sure i can face it (and I work from home). It fills me with an indescribable dread, which is coming from a very primal place (Kiki no work; Kiki stay with baby). Weird as I thought I was all about going back to work for my identity and making sure baby is well socialised from early on (I've always been the main earner and have some staunch feminist ideas). There's no pressure just yet and a lot of friends have told me just to wait and see as its early days to assess all our needs right now. I'm feeling all earth
Mother and wanting to sah until maybe school is on the horizon. We've also had the when do we think about #2 (esp as there's a fertility boost post baby) and then it struck me that that will involve the brown diet and potentially years of trying again. Strangely I feel quite optimistic about #2 (not yet though!!). I am mostly focusing on looking after mini princess and enjoying every little moment with her and watching her grow and trying to be philosophical about the future. But part of me is scared as I had managed to bury the horror of long term TTC with almost a year of masquerading in the land of the normals. I think a bh weekend in the house with mr p and colds which mean we are not too ill to do nothing but under the weather enough to not get out gave us lots of too much time to talk and 'discuss' lots of things on my mind. I should have curled up with my "teach yourself existentialist philosophy" book instead. We also had a huge argument about a greetings card mil made using a photo of us all post birth by 5 hours. It's horrific (of me) and gracing all of the rellies mantel pieces. I feel (probably unreasonably) that my dignity has been shredded and vulnerability exploited. I've also said I don't want them near me straight after the birth if there's a next time. This made Mr P very upset. He does sort of understand, has had words with mil and feels awful on my part but doesn't know how to right it and thinks I'm being unreasonable to not let it go / be more understanding. He tried to explain the motives to make me feel better but it just made me feel worse and on top of the embarrassment, patronised . It's just irritating me really. I just have to remind myself it could be worse. And that it wasn't done out of spite. It's a classic AIBU and I think I would be told it's hormones but it feels like a huge breach of my privacy and that they ultimately don't respect me very much... Too much? Maybe

Mini princess had her jabs last week and did very well (I on the other hand was a wreck and bought the nurse to tears with my sobbing) with just a small indignant outburst. She was fine with the needle but hated being held down by her dad. She was more tired and clingy than usual afterwards and a bit cranky until the evening when she was back to her usual happy, smiley and gurgling self. Quick recovery!

She is soooo cute - she is 10 weeks now and really tries to talk and beams back if you mimic the noises she's making - it melts my heart every time! A-goooo!

Right, sniffly baby to look after. Take good care one and all :) Love and hugs all round.

hello everyone!

buzzy so sorry you've got all these worries on top of being pregnant - its total bollocks isn't it? You spend years trying to have a baby and you'd think life would just give you a break when you eventually get pregnant instead of throwing work and immunity worries your way. Really hope it all works out and the immunity stuff doesn't flare up this time.

I agree in that you do hear an awful lot of negative birth stories, but I think part of that is down to the 'amazon review' syndrome, whereby its only people that had a really bad time or really good time that want to crow about it - and some people like nothing more than telling people how horrendous their birth was and what they had to go through. It's difficult not to take it all in though.

I also think that some of the medical profession are guilty of bullying patients (especially first time mums) into the road that suits them, rather than what is best for you - so think about what you want, do your research and stick to your guns.

When I went to give birth to Hamish I first saw the outgoing consultant - told her what I wanted and she went off and said she'd tell the consultant who'd be on duty that day.

She came back and said that he didnt' want to wait 2 hours after breaking my waters before putting me on the drip - that he wanted me to go on the drip right away and that he'd be in to tell me why he thought that was the best course of action. My heart immediately sank, however she then said "But, it doesn't matter what he thinks, he's just a doctor, you get to decide what happens here, it's your baby" and I felt immediately empowered - it was fantastic - so when he came in and told me why he didn't want to wait - I just said, well, I want the 2 hours, and he just laughed, said well, he'd never win an argument with a women, that he'd said his piece and his conscience was clear.

So, if they say something to you you don't want, remember they can only advise you, listen to them, but if you want to do something different (e.g. you don't want to be induced if you're late, you do want a home birth, etc) tell them, and don't let them bully you.

Sorry, that was long, but I felt bullied in my first birth and wouldn't want anyone else to go through that, not when we've all waited so long for our babies.

critter thank you for implying I have wisdom - not sure it's true, but hey - I'll take any compliment that's going :-D Weather here isn't that great - brightening up just now, but had lots of haar the last week or so.

gin don't think we've been to any more gigs with Hamish - am considering taking him to the pictures, but at the moment he is napping so much, I'm actually just enjoying staying in and letting him sleep (some days I actually miss him as he seems to have such little awake time, it's like you never get to see him!) We do have another 'show' lined up in October (hairy maclairy) so we'll see if he poohs through that one as well!

When do you get your scan to check your blood flow again? Still a few weeks away?

Sorry about the nipples mellow here's hoping they heal up soon and hopefully the advisor will be able to help. Very jealous of you hanging round the gallery - we did take Hamish to see the Discovery (walter scott's ship moored in dundee) but never took him on the boat as we didnt have his carrier with us and I'm not sure how much of the exhibition he was taking in :-D

princess mini p sounds likes she's doing absolutely fabulous! Sorry about your 'going back to work' woes. For the record, I don't think there is anything 'unfeminist' about wanting to spend time with your kids, to me feminism is about giving you the choice to do what you want to do. Financial concerns is another matter mind. I went back part-time mornings in the end (even though I earned more than Mr E) and just thought we'd take the hit and worry about it later (I still have about 27 working year ahead of me!). I was dreading going back (I had the year off with DS1) but when I did, I was actually really glad. I really enjoyed having the me-time that came with the job and DS1 settled really quickly with his childminder so I knew he was okay, and I picked him up at 1pm every day (was still bfeeding him, so was nice to get that closeness after the morning at work). I kept thinking should I do condensed days and have a full day or two with him, but then I didn't want to go a whole day without seeing him, and I've really settled into the mornings only routine.

Your friends are right though, you won't know how you feel about it until closer to the time. They're still such babies just now, once they start interacting with and seeking out others you maybe feel a bit more relaxed about it, or you might still feel like you want to be at home - try not to worry just now, just enjoy the months of mattie leave that you were always planning to take off - dont' waste them worrying about going back - that'd be tragic!

Re: number 2 - when I had DS1, I genuinely thought that was all we were going to have and I wanted to enjoy him, so we decided that we wouldn't even try for another until I had returned from mattie leave, that my mattie leave was for him and I wasn't going to waste it trying for a second baby that might never happen, so we used condoms that year. After I went back to work, we stopped using contraception but with no real hope of conceivng, more along the lines of 'well, we don't really need it, and if we did conceive - yipppeee".

The ache for the second baby didn't really start until I had the miscarriage, which made me think that maybe baby No2 was a possibility, and then it was non-stop mentalling for 22 months until I managed to conceive.

It's almost impossible to stop the mentalling though, and it's funny how that ache for a baby can be just as strong for No2 as it is for No1 - fingers crossed no brown diet will be required next time as your body will know what to do and will just play by the rules!

teu hope all is goign well with your little bundle (newborn seems such a long way away already!)

Waves to everyone!

Okay, reckon that's enough chatter from me - I'm off to hang out washing and eat the potato and leek soup I just made!

eleth love the story about you and the consultant, good for you! Quite right that you should have more time rather than being rushed on a schedule that wasn't right for you and the baby. I like that Hamish is expanding his theatrical oeuvre already with the planned Hairy McClary play.

princess I was thinking about the greeting card debacle and I would have been absolutely fecking furious if that happened in my situation. It's up to the parents to send out greetings cards, surely, not the grandparents - and especially not without asking first. I know you've had a rough relationship with them sometimes in the past and sometimes that colours these things, which can be a grey area. If they'd been incredibly supportive during your pregnancy, no doubt your reaction would be different. I just think it's unbelievably insensitive to share a photo with all and sundry, of a mum who's just given birth to her first massive baby without drugs, without asking her permission first! I would be really, really angry and like you I would feel my privacy had been invaded. So there!

buzzy big handhold, sorry you are so worried, it doesn't seem fair you have this stress on top of all the crap you had getting to the baby stage.

gin I love the idea of your little riot grrrl, so cute! When did you first start feeling her move? I'll be 19 weeks tomorrow and can't feel anything yet, but I hear that is normal.

mellow the National Gallery and coffee and cake sounds amazing but sore nips do not, sorry that you are suffering, I hope the adviser sorts it out!

I think doll is next up as she's due in October - then in December it'll be gin and then sar, then sweet although she doesn't post here, then me and buzz in late January (I think).

I am starting to get a proper little bump, in fact people keep telling me it's large for 19 weeks which is making me somewhat nervous - how massive am I going to get? I have been feeling SO much better in the past few days, perhaps the fabled 2nd tri energy burst is on its way! My 20 week scan is in 10 days and we aren't going to find out the sex (unless we find out by accident).

I hope some more lovely 10 plussers join us soon, come on universe, we're due another hard-earned bfp!

only took me 32 weeks of pregnancy to get here. Is there a time limit?

Indeed critter I'm due in October. Don't listen to the big bump observations, mine has been called massive amongst other things, I got alot bump-wide between 17 and 25 weeks then it seemed to slow a bit. Today it was called 'accurate' that was a new one, I believe she meant 'compact'.

Anyway loves to all. X