We're now halfway and it's PMA all the way - Nov 2011

[cep]

Halfway there now ladies. on the countdown.

morning ladies, just a quick place save beforei go to work.

collie yes it's private so only those in the group can see it and can see who else is in it.

Oh gosh we haven't had much sex either because DH doesn't like the thought of it now baby is there! Must make more effort though.

I'm shocked at the difference in cost of NCT classes, I am paying £220, although that includes the price of the membership fee. I feel it's worth it though as this is my first and I don't want to go from working full time in a sociable job to being stuck at home all day and my friends are scattered all over London so it won't be easy to visit lots of them.

I can't remember when the MW said to have my next appt - what week is standard?

Well I'm not jumping on anything as we're on a doc's orders sex ban, it's turning us into a right couple of wankers Weren't doing it much anyway due to paranoia of bleeding in first tri. Just getting back into the swing a bit at that point. I worry that by time we manage it after the birth it will be like doing it for the first time again except I'll be much fatter.

Collieandboypup congrats on team blue! exciting.

Once everyone has their scan I'm going to have a big nosy at the gender balance of the group, see if either is dominating. I feel like boys?...

We have joined nct to hopefully make friends in the area but is costly. I am in London and paid over £300. Nhs classes were only in the day so dh wouldn't be able to make it and nct would at least be people in our area as hospital a bit further out.

Hi mash pot my next appointment is week 25 if that helps.

Hello all I'm back :) took some time out to concentrate on my exam, which was awful but hey ho all down now!

Been trying to catch up, for the UK holiday chat I would definately recommend the cotswolds, beautiful area and probably only take you around 6 hours!

On the sex front poor OH hasn't had any sinc conception haha, we were both really busy then I got labrynitis, then had terrible 1st semester sickness and symptoms and now can't think of anything less sexy! Hopefully when we move in together things may change hoping to complete in two weeks!

Took myself to Ikea to celebrate finishing the exam yesterday and picked up a few boring things for the house, and a few cute things for Bean's room :).

On a bad note feel my morning sickness is returning feeling nauseous most mornings and so so tired!

Hope all is well xx

Mashpost my nextapse is 25 weeks too. Although don't actually have appointment yet!!

The £100 I mentioned for nct classes does not include membership. That's extra. It is expensive! and the variation is amazing!

Sorry typo! My next appointment that should say

Still on holiday, but finally found somewhere with an internet connection so I can catch up with you lovely ladies!

folic - I would recommend the lake district, kent or suffolk. Lakes are lovely, but quite expensive and gets a bit busy in the summer. Kent and Suffolk are a lot less crowded and both are very chocolate boxy!

We have our scan on Tuesday and hoping to find out, but trying not to get too excited in case baby has its legs crossed!!

I've just updated the stats on our other thread. So far we've 7 yellow, 4 blue and 2 pink.
If you've not updated then go and do it now so we can keep a record. I'm sure there are more than that!

Have a nice day ladies....

Just a quick post to say i've put a thread in the pg board on accruring annual leave during mat leave. I was told by my employer i wasn't entitiled to this and on googling was really suprised at the variance of practice and how few women got to accrue these.

Anyway, I got a bee in my bonnet about it so did some digging and we ARE entitled to it. have a look at the thread and make sure you are getting your entitlement!

Hello Collie I'm annoyed with myself now. I saw a tread some days ago about childcare vouchers (CCVs) during maternity leave and it linked to an HMRC document on what is legally mandatory to give women during maternity leave. I can't find it now!

Basically non transferable non cash benefits have to be maintainted and the employer cannot use your SMP to pay for them. Accrued holiday is one of these benefits, same as health insurance, company car (or allowance), mobile phone.

Re any 2nd or more timers who do get CCVs - the law changed a couple of years back so that even if you pay for these normally though salary sacrifice your employer (once you are only on stat maternity pay) must keep paying for these without touching your SMP or care allowance etc. It used to be you had to pull out of the scheme 20 odd weeks before commencing maternity to get your full salary as Maternity Pay but now you just continue as usual.

I am so shocked at how some employers are treating their staff. I have a very cordial and open discussion with my boss when pregnant 1st time around that due to my role she needed to know how long I intended to take off although she was very kind and stated she knew this was not officially allowed for her to ask but it would really help her plan her staffing. She is Spanish and no one in our Spanish office takes more than 2/3 months. My 7/8 months is very long to her. She juggles EU laws varying from 3 months to 26 months (!) maternity. However it was never a pushy, oh you are putting us out, conversation. She also hates HR forms so when I come back again I will quietly use my accrued holiday to come back part time for 3 months, no need for contract changes. All very flexible. I am so thankful I work for her (although on a general level she is a change her mind, demanding, drives me crackers kind of lady, but always even tempered and fair so I really like her).

I am really sorry for those of you having shit from bosses. It is really unacceptable to put such pressure on a pregnant woman. Selfish buggers as my DM would say.

I'm so tired I fell asleep sitting up at 4 45pm yesterday when returning from a meeting in London. Today I feel so wobbly and sick again I just called in sick. Exhausted. Anyone else like this? I'm only 24+4 but I feel huge. Proper bump, finally sicking out more than my comedy boobs.

No leaking here, nothing with DD either and despite hrs of pumping my milk disappeared really by 4 weeks (I carried on for 2 more weeks in stupid hope). DD was poorly, loads of reasons for her not to latch. I was grateful to hear stories of other Mums who didn't leak but feed successfully! I really want to try again. Thanks Girlies.

Massive post from me, sorry.

Wow! Hard to keep up with this thread!

As for sex, try for at least once a week, but have only really been into it a handful of times (don't mind putting in effort for DH though:) ) but get a laugh as I had to really bother him to SWI at appropriate times before (but he's wishing he were back to that even though he was annoyed by how much and the planned-ness of it all)

katie I am 23+2 and feel huge and am getting really clumsy. I was late for work today and I was hussling (or trying to) and it was as if I was moving in slow motion!! Also having discomfort with the bump but don't know if it is ligaments, gas or bubba stretching...

Going on vacation in 9 days! So have something to be positive about!!

missy will go update my stats for team pink as I have not done so:)

Makes mental note to check out non alcoholic wine in s'market.....why did i not think of this before!!! Cali I flit over manchester way quite a bit so if theres anyone else nearish I'd be up for a meet/cuppa/cake (the edinburgh lot have given me cake jealousy!) I'm just past huddersfield jnct on m62 so can be in manc in half hour ish.
Youve all made me feel a lot better about lack of sex in our house.....I was feeling a bit guilty towards DH but between the tiredness, generally feeling a bit ugly and bump logistics we've definitely been doing it less. DH been very understanding though which i know is difficult given he has a higher sex drive than me ordinarily anyway but its tended to just be weekends recently.
Im doing NCT mainly as a way to hopefully make some friends in similar circumstances as my other friends with kids arent local (im kind of the first one in our close group to be pregnant) so finger x'd....theyve not started yet though but they are evenings and a couple of sunday afts so we can both go.

Manchester cake time it is! Would the Cheshire ladies be up for it, too?

I'm 20 mins from Manchester so will come along to a meet up if I can

Evening all, wondering if anyone could advise re movements. I am only just 20 weeks and in the previous 7 days or so felt kicks about twice a day (sometimes real boots), but since Sunday haven't felt anything. Had my scan on Tuesday so know little one was OK 2 days ago, growing normally and heart beating strong but getting a bit concerned. Midwife did say I probably won't feel anything regular till 24 weeks so guess I should just relax!? Especially as it was fine at the scan.

OOh with all these work stories I am glad I moved from the private sector to an NHS PCT, my boss has been brilliant and the maternity pay is very good too!

Will update the stats list!

Can I ask, does anyone else have pain under their ribs?

I had this in my first pg too, although I put it down to my gallstones (hello Pam, how are you keeping these days? ) but gallbladder is all gone (and good riddance to it!) and I have the pain this time round too. I feel like if I could bend myself in two backwards and give it a good stretch, it would all come good. Not much chance of that with this belly! Definitely feels like a muscular thing.

Stace it is some comfort to know that I am not the only hypochondriac! I can sort of laugh at myself, because when the drama has passed and I realise how daft I was being, I can see that it's quite funny. But when I'm in the grip of panic, it's no laughing matter.

I'm so annoyed on behalf of all of you whose employers are being arses. I told my boss about the baby at about 10 weeks, for the simple reason that I don't see her for weeks at a time and wanted to do her the courtesy of telling her in person (I talk to her on the phone regularly, but rarely see her in person). Its a smallish company, with about 50 employees, and is owned and run by a husband and wife, and I report to the wife. She was lovely, and I was worried that she wouldn't be, because I am the only person in the company who does my job, and I was recruited specifically to take the pressure off her and allow her to step back from the business (I suspect she is not in fantastic health, although she is very private and would never say so). Anyway, she asked if I thought I would come back after my maternity leave, and then immediately apologised and said not to answer the question as she was aware that it was inappropriate to ask, and that she should never have mentioned it. I didn't mind, as I do see a small business as having different needs to a big one, and its very disruptive to them for me to be off. When I was pg with DD I was working for one of the biggest companies in the UK (who will remain nameless, as they can afford much better solicitors than I could!) and my boss was a total arse. But, hilariously, he ended up costing them thousands, as he wouldn't allow me to take my annual leave before my maternity leave, which meant that I accrued loads whilst I was off, then I resigned and had to be paid for it all. .

Sunshine I think they say that baby can be quiet sometimes and not regular movement to us at this point. I think as the baby is still quite small and could be moving but to the inside rather than the out that you don't always feel it.

Can anyone help me? am I talking complete bollocks?!

MW would listen in if you were really worried though.

katie I'm am shattered all the time!!!! I am lucky enough to come and go at work as long as I get my work done so I try to work from home 1 day a week and it makes a huge difference. Just not having to drive an hour each way helps.

sunshine believe it or not I work for a PCT too. Boss is fine-although slightly disinterested as only my boss since April and leaving in a month, but my HR leaves much to be desired!

Re movement sunshine i pretty much had the same thing. Bits of movement most days which more or less stopped about 4 days before my scan and sent me into a panic. Scan was fine and then that day, boom, movement came back. Had it for about another 3 days, then another couple of nothing and now it's back but even stronger! I think it really varies. Think it depends on where it is, where your placenta is and also if your growing. I'm sure cep stopped feeling movement and put it down to her uterous growing. Also my friend who is due the day after me hasn't had anything feeling about from obe kick yesterday. But also had good scan. Think it kicks in properly at about 24wks.

collie thanks, that is good to hear re movements. Shocked you are having those problems with a PCT! Assumed the unions would make darn sure that holiday entitlement was in a written policy if nothing else!

sunshine and all with movements - I'm 24+4 today, and little Sprout has off an on days - some days she'll be barely moving, others she's using my bladder as a trampoline and making me swear. In the last week she's been more regular, as in I can feel her every day, but even so she seems to be different day to day.

sunshine & collie another NHS PCT (well kinda, just merged with foundation trust) employee here!! My manager is ok, only been here since April so knows very little...the HR people are great though :) I'm finding the rest of my colleagues a pain though with asking if I will return after mat leave & if I'll still work full time (yes I will to both but not to where I am now if plans go accordingly, but can't say that to them!!)

Am pretty sure it is in the policy that my regular user car payments will only be paid for first 3months of leave...are we entitled to it throughout all mat leave?? Am getting so confused

I know we are entitled to time off for our antenatal appts but I feel guilty taking so much time off (between norm antenatal, my antenatal depression appt & now likely to need physio input it seems I am out more than in -even worse when I factor in annual leave & training!!)

Aaaargh! Bloody nora! Just wrote big post and phone went and lost it all!!! !! Condensed version....
sunshine I was pretty much the same as you at 20 weeks...don't worry too much if a few days go by and you don't feel anything, at 23+4 now and I can feel daily but mw told me you can only really start monitoring later on as there's probably movement going on (as there's still quite a bit of room in there) that you're not feeling. Hope you get good kick in ribs soon to put your mind at rest (in the nicest possible way of course!!!)