Charters Anonymous Graduates Volume 2! – No more temping!

[Iwish]

A nice cosy place to accommodate our growing bumps and little wrigglers.

That is so, so sad about Dachs I remember her from the conception boards Poor thing. How do you even begin to get through something like that.

Hope you are ok spilt. I think it's normal and totally ok to still have very down days given what you've been through, and pregnancy makes you extra sensitive and emotional anyway. You always wonder what might have been. Nix you have a good point re. your current bean couldn't have existed if it didn't happen this way.

It would have been my due date this month from my MC I had in October. I was only 5 weeks pregnant, which is know is hardly anything (only knew I was pregnant for a week) but still there is a pang there. I'd always dreamed of a summer sunshine baby, but it was not to be. I don't know whether to mark the day in any way, or to even mention it to DH, as I think he has well and truly moved on from the MC.

Anyway I was feeling really sad and unsettled all last night because yesterday my best friend had her 12 week nuchal scan and the sonographer said the nuchal fold was enlarged and to expect a "high risk" result. Feel really sorry for them, just hoping it is not bad news.

It might be an idea to mention the due date to your DH GetDown so at least he knows why if you find it a strange or sad day. Entirely up to you if you choose to mark it or not, there isn't a right or wrong way to do things. Maybe light a candle or something in the evening if you want to do something small?

Iwish i am a fattie! Not starving though... just rotund!! My legs are so fat now (dont know why) that it hurts to kneel down.... Ive swollen (not water retention... just fat) everywhere, legs arms, used to have collar bones... and i am just fricking enormous and soooo lacking in energy this time... :( :)

GD i hope your friends enlarged fold comes back lower risk with blood tests...? One of the ladies on the MC thread had the same problem, but the fold was HUGE and the baby did indeed have DS :( sadly. Yet others have had larger folds, but the bloods or amnio has shown everything to be fine... doesnt seem to be much of a pattern. Hope all is okxx

How are you all doing?

Blooming hot, Spilt. And cross because our buyer wants 5 grand off the house to pay for a reroof . So hot and cross! We have a Preparing for childbirth workshop though tomorrow that I am quite looking forward to.

33 weeks on Sunday, getting there.

How is everyone else?

Know how you feel lg kind of. Trying to nest, photos for estate agents are being done Tuesday house is a cluttered filthy tip and I have less than 2 days to sort it!! Fat swollen and fucked if I am being brutally honest ;( dread discussing surveys!!

Still the inlaws have been and sorted the garden which is a massive help... Just wish husband would stop being a cock!

Sorry that's a really neggy post.., end and tether spring to mind ;)

God that sounds so miserable... Just tired and swollen;(
But pls to be nearly 31 weeks ;) only another 10 to go xx

It's ok to be a bit miz, Nix. Goes with the third trimester territory I reckon

Sorry your buyer is being difficult Lady. Surely her original offer is the accepted one, it's a bit cheeky of her to start asking for money off now!! Some people eh. What do you think you will do?

nix poor you, you do sound really p'eed off.

You ladies who will try and move house whilst pregnant: Nutters

I am actually pretty p'eed off too, and I don't even have a house move to blame it on. DH is working 7 days a week at the moment. And DD has pushed me to my limit today, with her whining, screaming and general objectionable behaviour Then DH walks through the door at one minute to her bedtime, and of course she then turns into sweetness and light And DH proceeds to play lots of fun rough and tumble games - just the kind of wind down a 3 year old needs just before bed

Plus, I have a horrible feeling I may be experiencing hayfever for the first time ever - itchy eyes, sneezing all the time, sore back of throat and nasal passages, general rubbish feeling all over. And I can't take anything for it. GREAT.

You poor lot, frayed tempers all round it sounds like!

That is a pain in the backside about your buyer Lady. Did you manage to agree a more sensible completion date in the end or not?

Sorry Mr Nix is being a pillock. Hope that's sorted now.

GetDown gosh 7 days a week is really tough on both of you. Is that likely to last long?

We went to an antenatal group this morning which was really good actually. I did feel a bit of a know it all due to having spent so much time on here. I think they were all first timers. I didn't quite know how to classify myself when people asked if I'd done this before. Sort of. I've got experience of the hospital delivery ward, of induction, of 1st stage and 3rd stage of labour but kind of missed the 2nd stage due to no pushing needed when they are so small and just fall out. Also no personal experience of any of the normal drugs as I had straight morphine which was a) horrible and b) would never be used if the baby was alive as it's too strong for them. DH and I were very evangelical about home birth as we both really believe in it and I don't think many people had really even considered it as a possibility and were initially scared of the idea. Then of course had to explain that no, we wouldn't actually be planning one!

They were a bit mean though and showed us a to scale pelvic skeleton thingy and then did the whole pushing a pretend baby through it. Pretend baby not at all to scale so the whole thing looked like a piece of piss and everyone looked very pleased!

I don't know - I think we will argue that the quote for the work is uncompetitive and be a bit disgruntled as the condition of the rpoof is something to be expected of a property of this age and something she should have known at offer stage. But for sake of goodwill will be willing to negotiate to an extent on the proviso they move closer to our timescales. Is very irritating but she is a cash buyer with no chain and did offer full asking so we don't really want to have to oput it back on market.

Is hard enopugh looking after a three year old being pregnant, Getdown, especially with no support. Is he working so hard now to be a bit freed up after the birth? Hope so for your sake.

Glad antenatal stuff went well, Spilt. We had a Hypnobirthing taster type class yesterday. She was very evangelical about natural birth though - and told me birth didn't have to hurt. Well it did hurt actually . But DS was badly positioned which caused all the problems and was ok til he got stuck so maybe will be different this time!

Blimey, I've been away so long we've got a new thread and a baby from Newyears! (Congrats , hope you're doing well!)

After our dreadful start to May with MIL dying, funeral, farcical family relationship breakdowns/get togethers (nothing more than is normal in most families, but draining nonetheless) we managed to get away last week and went to Corfu to lie on a beach, read lots of books, eat lots of olives and properly talk to each other, which was lovely. I have a tanned front and a white back as a result of not being able to lie on my front, which DH thinks is hilarious (thanks!), but other than that it was perfect and just so nice to be able to be away from family, the phone etc.

Baby is kicking loads but DH can't feel it yet - I wish he could as he's so sweet with the bump and is always talking to it and paying it/me lots of attention!

Hope everyone's well - have read through what I've missed but there's so much I don't want to miss anyone out so please accept a general hello and wave! Am v interested in those of you exploring the Hypnobirthing route - we're going to classes in July and I'm probably just a bit too cynical at the mo...fingers crossed it will be great though.

In other news, I weighed myself this morning for the first time in ages and since getting pregnant I have gained a stone . Am 24 weeks tomorrow so I'm sure it's fine, but it really brought home how much better I'd be feeling if I'd not started out so overweight. Even if I only gain another stone in the whole rest of the pregnancy (and I know I'll probably gain more than that) I will be so far into the obese category I don't know how I'll ever get out of it. Here's hoping the birth will magically make me weigh 3 or 4 stone less but the baby will be small enough to appear with one, painless push...

Hi there pippa hope you've had a good half term break from school. Sorry to hear about all the family upsets. Yep it does sound like a normal family but you're right it is stressful nonetheless. Try to distance yourself from the stress if you can and focus on your own little family-to-be I think gaining a stone by 24 weeks is fine. You will probably lose it after the birth, although it may take a while. 9 months on, 9 months off so they say! Are you planning on breast feeding? That can really help shift the weight. I am doing hypnobirthing too! Maybe we could share what we learn / our thoughts on it together, especially as our pregnancies are v. close together (I am 25 weeks). We have our first session on 20th June. We are having private sessions at our house rather than a group as the instructor charged the same regardless of private or group course, and it was going to be much more straightforward in terms of babysitting for DD. Have you read the book? I got it out the library and read it cover to cover. So interesting. I am now forcing encouraging DH to read it and he is half way through it himself.

Thanks Lady and Spilt re. my absent DH. This time of year is always manic for him, but thankfully the end is in sight. It will be a lot quieter come due date, and DH is planning on taking the 2 weeks paternity followed by 2 weeks annual leave, so will have best part of a month off to help me after the birth which is great. With DD I started to go downhill in terms of PND after a few weeks and we are doing everything we can this time to try and stop it happening again.

Hope your buyer is reasonable lady in terms of negotiations. Gosh I hate house buying. We had such a nightmare when we bought our house. The adjoining neighbour had a flood and caused a massive damp problem in the house we were buying. The vendor wasn't even going to tell us but thankfully another neighbour in the road gave us a tip off. We managed to sort it out by claiming on the vendor's house insurance. If we had exchanged before we found out about the flood, the damage would not have been covered. ARrrggh. It was such a stress. These things have a habit of sorting themselves out in the end though, thank goodness.

spilt good that you have started your antenatal classes. Hope the other couples are nice. I am still in touch with most of my NCT group. Are you going for a home birth then, sorry I can't remember what you said before about it. It's hard to have to explain that this isn't your first baby. I hope and trust that people there will be sympathetic and understanding to you. It's true that you have more experience than them, having been through labour already. Just because you didn't have a massive pushing stage, you still went through labour. The pushing stage is actually just the very end anyway, so what you experienced will probably be a good indicator of your next labour. Your uterus will probably be more stretched and toned having been through contractions before so hopefully your labour will be shorter than it would have been otherwise. How are you feeling now, you seemed a bit down the other day.

My hayfever seems to have cleared up quite a lot. Don't know if it is conincidence but DH put the lilies we were given by MIL outside yesterday. He thinks I might have had a bit of a reaction to them.

Sorry spilt just re-read your post and saw that you are not planning a home birth

Feels a bit guilty now... catch up properly tomorrow..mr nix has come home for the weekend to help get hte house spruced for hte pics and hasnt stopped.... not for 5 mins loves him really lol

I havent stopped either... off for a bath now, long day tomorrow in mk
speak soon xx

GD those days are normal for me atm... DS and your DD are hte same age... October 07 births..? Monkeys... mine is going through a stage of shouting i dont love you/like you/horrid mummy when doesnt get his own way.... little devil.... they are sent to test our patience....!!!

Lady that's what I was wondering with your house sale - if you could use her wish for money off as leverage to get a completion date that suits you better. Good luck with it, it's horribly stressful. And you too nix, hope you get some nice pics after all the effort you've gone to.

Interesting how many of us are giving the hypnobirthing a punt. I will be rereading the book soon I think. Wouldn't it be amazing if it actually didn't hurt...

Lovely to see you back pippa, glad you managed to get away for a bit and at your one sided tan! How's your DH doing? I agree with GD that a stone by this point is very normal weight gain for pregnancy and not something to worry about. It is hard though seeing yourself change so much and so quickly and have very little control over it. There is time and to spare for sorting all that out afterwards though.

Thanks GetDown you've cheered me up a lot actually, saying the pushing is just the little bit at the end. I was really lucky as pessary to delivery was only about 3.5 hours and I was warned it could be most of the weekend. I felt I was coping quite well at the time too and only had the morphine right at the end because I thought I would need it if it got worse - but it didn't. So I am feeling reasonably optimistic about things. I'm hoping it's an indicator that I will have a not too long labour

Feeling better again the last couple of days, but it goes like that. It's very hard to put into words, but I think is just the nature of bereavement - there are easier days/phases and much much harder ones, and often no logic as to when they happen. I really appreciate having a safe place on here to talk about it all though, in RL it's hard, there's very few people I can talk to. I think most think I am "over" it whatever that means

5 more days of work

Just very quicly checking in

Whoop to five more days of work spilt! I'm very .

I'll be 20 weeks tomorrow, halfway!!! Scan is tomorrow so I'll come back for a proper catch up after that. X

Glad you are feeling a bit better spilt I can understand that it must be very up and down. Re. the pushing stage, just to give an example my labour overall was 22 hours, but my pushing stage was just 30 minutes. So as you can see, most of the labour is the softening and opening of the cervix bit. Sounds from your last labour that things will progress quite quickly for you. Don't dally around getting to the hospital 5 more days of work???!! HURRAH! Bet motivation is waning now.... I found that towards the end of my work before finishing. Just had this sense of what's the point, and ended up day dreaming about baby stuff most of the day!

nix glad DH is pulling his weight a bit now. It's fine to have a rant on here about our DHs - I just make sure mine doesn't know my MN nickname
Yes our little darlings are a very similar age. My DD is Dec 07. They have a particular way of knowing exactly how to wind you up don't they. My DD's favourite is to wail "I want my DADDY" everytime I ask her to do something she doesn't want to do.

Ooooh MrsP 20 week scan tomorrow! Exciting! Did you say you were going to find out the sex? Let us know how you get on tomorrow.

My friend that got the high reading on her nuchal translucency last week should get the final risk result tomorrow combined with the blood test. Really hoping and praying all is ok for her..

Getdown I am v jealous of your private hypno sessions! The lady we're going to charged a good £200 more for those so we've gone with the group option, though I think there will only be two other couples. Our first session's in July - am looking forward to it with some trepidation and will be interested to hear how your first session goes!

Spilt I know what you mean when you say most people think you're 'over it'. My sister (sister!) said something along those lines to me about a month after I miscarried last year, and it had admittedly been a very early loss, but I almost punched her. I hope this labour is a really positive experience for you, and although it won't ever replace memories of your first labour, I hope holding a new baby will be as wonderful as it could possibly be.

Good luck with your scan today MrsP :)

Hi ladies!

Lovely to see you again pippa, glad you had a good holiday. I'm 20 weeks and have put on 10lb in weight so your gain sounds pretty normal to me.

Any news on your friend's results yet getdown? Hope that it all turns out ok.

Well, we had the 20 week scan today and the baby was very wriggly but obedient according to the sonographer! Everything was perfect and it looks like a girl. I'm soooooo happy and feel like the luckiest person in the world right now.

Hi pippa, x post there.

Just realised I haven't added myself to list so here we go......

LadyGoneGaga 24/07/11 3rd pg (DS aged 3, mc Sept 10) Surprise
Nickstermum 7/8/11 3rd pg (DS aged 3.5, MC Aug 10) Surprise flavour!
spilttheteaagain 21/08/11 2nd pg (DD born 20 weeks), Baby girl
GetDownYouWillFall - 14/09/11 3rd pg (1 DD aged 3, 1 MC Oct 10) Surprise
Iwish 03/10/11 1st pg Likkle boy.
MrsP81 25/10/11 2nd pg (MC Aug 10) Baby girl
Terrysno2 - 4/11/11 3rd PG (DS, MC 12/10) Surprise version
MrsArchchancellorRidcully 20/11/11 2nd pg (DD aged 2.9) Will find out flavour on 6 July (hopefully!)

Congrats MrsP - we found out our Bean is a girl too at our scan :) Though we're telling everyone in real life we don't know as I just don't want to deal with people's 'advice'!

Added myself:

LadyGoneGaga 24/07/11 3rd pg (DS aged 3, mc Sept 10) Surprise
Nickstermum 7/8/11 3rd pg (DS aged 3.5, MC Aug 10) Surprise flavour!
spilttheteaagain 21/08/11 2nd pg (DD born 20 weeks), Baby girl
GetDownYouWillFall - 14/09/11 3rd pg (1 DD aged 3, 1 MC Oct 10) Surprise
Pippaandpolly - 26/09/11 2nd pg (1 MC last year), Girl Bean
Iwish 03/10/11 1st pg Likkle boy.
MrsP81 25/10/11 2nd pg (MC Aug 10) Baby girl
Terrysno2 - 4/11/11 3rd PG (DS, MC 12/10) Surprise version
MrsArchchancellorRidcully 20/11/11 2nd pg (DD aged 2.9) Will find out flavour on 6 July (hopefully!)

Really pleased your scan went well MrsP That is great news. And a little girl... ahhh how lovely. Bet you can't stop yourself looking at pretty girly baby outfits now Thanks for asking re. my friend. She actually got the result today, and it came back 1 in 1200 which is not too bad at all. They are going to put in a complaint about the sonographer because she'd told them it would def be a high risk result (without even seeing the bloods) and that the best case scenario would be 1 in 200, more likely 1 in 10 Could have really upset someone that was more, say, delicate in nature, for absolutely no good reason!!

pippa excited for you that you found out you are having a girl too Lots of little girlies on this thread so far!! Yes, I was surprised too about the private sessions being the same price, but basically realised that she wouldn't have any venue costs as it's in our home, also the sessions are likely to be shorter because there won't be as much discussion / questions with just one couple. So I suppose it kind of works out. Why do you feel trepidation do you think? I am really looking forward to starting mine! Been practising the breathing exercises already

MrsP fantastic news on your scan, I am so chuffed for you. Lovely to hear about yours and pippas little pink babies

I got given my first baby present today from one of the couriers who works for us at work. He's such a lovely man. I remember when I came back after losing Bobbie he got it most "right", came straight in to find me and didn't say anything just gave me a massive hug. I of course howled on his shoulder and the rest of my colleagues were hopping around from foot to foot wondering what the dickens to do . So I have 4 very gorgeous little white and cream baby outfits in my wardrobe now. I'm so touched. Froggy's first clothes

GetDown that sounds like good news for your friend? (I didn't have these tests so not sure quite what qualifies as a good/bad result, but it sounds good to me). Hope they are feeling reassured now.

Has anyone else totally lost their attention span? I cannot seem to read or watch a film anymore About 1 page or 15 mins in I am losing concentration and staring out the window. But I am all tetchy and bored too and want to be entertained but can't seem to focus on anything! I'm hoping I will feel a bit less like a zombie after I stop work (2 more days!!!!!!) and this will improve a bit.

pippa I'm sorry your sister was so stupid after your miscarriage. People have no clue sometimes do they?!

GetDown notice duly taken I will not muck around when it comes to travelling to the hospital! Especially as it is about a 30 min drive away and I would have to get DH home from work first (15-20 mins)

Lots of questions are starting to occur to me about my last labour that I wish I knew the answers to. I was wondering how far I dilated then (I refused internals). If your body doesn't need to get to 10cm because the baby is much smaller, would I maybe have only gone to about 5cm and then had her? Or would the cervix still open all the way? Because, there's a difference between getting to 5cm in 3.5 hours or getting to 10cm. And when my waters went they seemed to be full of blood. Is that normal? I thought they would be, well, watery. Or was it because she had died? After my waters went (when the contractions were constant and at their strongest) the contractions just stopped. I felt no urge to push, no further contractions. 20 mins passed and then I felt Bobbie slide out. Why would the contractions just disappear like that? Or do they do that after you are fully dilated/dilated enough?

Just wondering what to expect this time really. If anyone has any thoughts/ideas I would love to hear them.