Charters Anonymous Graduates Volume 2! – No more temping!

[Iwish]

A nice cosy place to accommodate our growing bumps and little wrigglers.

That's rubbish, Nix. Try not to dwell on it though, not your problem for a few months although it leaves a nasty taste. Just focus on next few weeks.

Talking of toddlers mine is pushing me to the absolute limit right now. Totally lost it with him this evening. Please tell me he will adjust and start being an angel when no. 2 is here?

Spoke to nurse today. She's not happy with blood sugars. She mentioned insulin but when I pointed out was almost 38 weeks she said they'll probably just decide to get the baby out instead. I see consultant on weds. But could have my baby next week!

Oh nix what a crappy way to end, really sorry about that. At least you don't have to face any of it on Monday though...

I am sprawled on the bed with my distended belly. We've been to a hog roast and I have over indulged, shall we say, and am paying for it now! No dinner for me!

Very exciting to think that we could have our next baby announcement on here in a matter of days. Go Lady!

I think nesting is starting to take proper effect now. Each time I get a shelf/surface/room tidied I go ape if it gets messed up. Slowly the house is improving. I can no longer stand things being on the kitchen worksurface. The kettle and toaster are permissable, but I am quite disgruntled about the cake tin. The cake tin FFS! It has cake in it and should be a welcome sight, but no, it is clutter and irritates me

Hope everyone is having a nice Saturday.

We built the cot the other week and as we were doing so, saw that it has the date of manufacture stamped on the base. 9th October 2010. Bobbie's birthday. We were shocked, just such an unexpected coincidence, but I'm oddly pleased about it. It's weird but nice to think that on the day she was being born, her little sister's cot was being made too. It's like a link between them . She's 9 months old today. Imagine if she'd been a bit older at birth and survived. They would be in the same school year

Well hello strangers! Back from holiday. I feel like a big fat pig having had pub lunches most days, then normal evening meals on top of that, plus driving has been our primary method of locomotion around the Isle of Wight and hence I have done hardly ANY exercise for a week

Oh well

Had a great holiday! Quite a bit of rain, but sunshine too, and DD absolutely loved it. Gorgeous beaches and lots of quality family time makes for a happy GetDown was so nice to have DH to myself rather than having to share him with his demanding work .

I have to share this as I was quite but we went to this one pub and sat outside in the beer garden for a drink. There was a woman quite obviously pregnant, drinking a massive glass of white wine and chain smoking She must have had about 3 or 4 cigarettes just in the time we were sitting there. Plus to make it worse her partner was also smoking and he bent down to help put their toddler's shoes back on and blew smoke into the little fella's face I don't like being judgey... but how bad is that?

I am 30 weeks now, and scared DH a bit by reminding him I had DD at 38 weeks pregnant last time, so in theory I could only have 8 weeks to go! I keep reminding him all the stuff we actually have to get done before this baby arrives, and he's always said "yeah yeah after the holiday we will get cracking on it all". So now I am expecting some action

Reading back on all your news.....

pippa - no I don't take pregnacare anymore, as like you say they are so expensive. I think I stopped at about 16 weeks when my supply ran out. I think my diet is pretty good generally (ummm, well, excluding this past week perhaps ) and I always try and eat a portion of oily fish a week so hopefully get my omega 3. I wouldn't bother if I were you unless your diet is pretty poor, as the main benefit I think is the folic acid which is obviously only crucial in the first trimester. But up to you.

Sorry to hear you got grief from the judgey-pants MW about weight gain How annoying, esp since you don't eat the junky carbs anyway. I think people are naturally different sizes, it's very unfair of her to make you feel bad like that. Hope you get the nice one next time.
Gutted for you that you missed your first hypnobirthing session You must have felt so stressed and frustrated. Not a good start to feeling all chilled and relaxed about things. Perhaps the teacher can do a catch up private session for you, many of them are very flexible like that. I'm sure it's nothing you can't catch up on anyway, as you still will have another 4 or so sessions. Our first session was good, but was mainly just talking about DD's birth, and a bit of an intro to hypnobirthing. It wasn't anything really involved.

Iwish how is your hip / pelvic pain now? Have the pelvic floor exercises worked in relieving it? The GP sounds a bit clueless TBH. I don't think pelvic floors can do much to ease the pain if it's the bones separating.

I must confess having been really really good with my pelvic floors, they have gone to pot now And am gutted to have had to move on from panty liners to proper Tena lady jobbies and Need to get back into the habit of doing them, but have lost all motivation since the physio at my last appt basically said it would just get a lot worse as the baby got bigger and there was no point me seeing her again until after the baby was born

Lady glad to hear you are installed in your new abode! How exciting! Glad that the move went well. You seem to be taking it all in your stride - I salute you Hope everything is finding its place. Like the others said, I wouldn't bother repainting the nursery. Even if you have a boy, they are not going to care that it's pink for quite a long time! If we have a boy I plan to put him in DD's pink baby gros (that I short-sightedly bought for DD) until he is at least 6 months old (mean mummy). DH doesn't feel that comfortable about it, but admits it is madness to buy a whole new set just because of the colour

nix great idea re the doula. My friend had a doula for her second child's birth and she said it was the best thing for making her birthing as smooth as possible... also that it freed up her DH to just be with her and support her, without having to worry about all the practicalities and negotiating with the medical staff. I would love to have a doula, but I think my DH sees it as a bit of a "you're not good enough on your own" kind of slight, which is not true at all, I don't think he really understands the role. In your circumstances, where you can';t guarantee DH will make it back in time I think it is an excellent move. I know you had a tough labour last time, and I'm sure the doula will give you every chance to have a better experience this time round.

Really pleased for you that you've finished work now Just stick two fingers up re. the cafuffle on the day you left and forget about it.... not your problem now.

raven good to see you again. Try not to panic about your reducing symptoms. The others on here may remember I was in a similar position at about 9 weeks pregnant when my symptoms basically stopped. I stupidly did another pregnancy test and it was a crappy first response test which came out really faint and I was convinced I was about to MC Ended up paying for a private scan at 9 weeks and all was fine. Hope all is well for you too. It's true that the placenta starts to take over from about now so that could well be the explanation.

spilt glad you are finding your natal hypnotherapy CD helpful. I am really liking mine too, listen to it every night whilst falling asleep and have never actually heard the end of it, because I am always asleep by the time it finishes! You made me laugh re the birth ball incident!!! Ah, don't worry about it, I'm sure they've dealt with worse. That's the nature of customer service. At least you didn't get to the point of legal action Put it down to pregnancy brain. I've borrowed a ball off a friend and have no idea what diameter it is. Haven't used it much, hope the baby is head down now as it was breech at last appt. Will be gutted to have spent £300 on hypnobirthing only to be forced down a c-section route now
That is kind of special re. the cot manufacture date being the same date as Bobbie's birth, isn't it? It's amazing how things work out sometimes. That cot will have extra special significance for you all now, and in a way, will help include Bobbie in the birth of her sister. Hope you are ok, I know you have ups and downs.

Mrsp good to hear you have been doing some decorating. Was it the nursery? Have you been to visit the Rosie yet? I want to go an look round our local hospital soon, but struggling to get a free weekend when I can drag bring DH along too.

MrsA where are you love, you ok? Hope you had a fab time in florida!

Wow that was a marathon. Off to eat chocolate now. Avoiding the bathroom scales.

Welcome back GetDown that was a mammoth post! Glad you had such a nice time, sometimes it's good to just pig out isn't it? Is your DH still officially doing 7 days a week just now then?
So it's list making time for you is it?! DH keeps asking me if we need to buy anything else, but actually I don't think we do. I reckon we've got all the basics for straightaway and we'll get extras as and when. Actually we have no toys, but I imagine we'll muddle through the first bit just trying to sort feeding etc. I don't expect a 2 day old baby is that interested in toys.

You have just reminded me - pelvic floors. I have a total mental block on these, just CANNOT remember to do the wretched things. Which I could come to regret...
Sorry to hear about the tena lady needs. That is miserable. Also somewhat depressing that they think it will just get worse over the next few weeks. The never ending glamour.

Right I am off to nest xx

Yes it was a bit of a mammoth post wasn't it Making up for a week off you see!

No, DH back to normal hours now, thank goodness. Manic period over for another year.

There are loads of things on my "list" that I still want to buy! Which is ridiculous really. But lots of the things I had with DD were borrowed from friends and have now gone back, so will either have to buy second hand or borrow from someone else. I am also really tempted to get a Medela swing electric pump, so that DH can do some of the night feeds and I can keep b/feeding as long as poss. The second hand ones seem to go on Ebay for not that much less than new, and I'd rather have new if possible for obvious reasons.

I know what you mean about the pelvic floors, it is very hard to remember to do them. I actually made myself a bracelet with a couple of knots on it. It had 5 beads and every time I did my exercises I would move a bead across to the other side of the knots. (I had to do 5 sets of exercises a day). It worked really well at reminding me, but now I just can't be bothered

spilt,... they are the ones that you hold your wee in with....!!! flex hold for 10 and release...

yup I know the ones nix they made us practice them at NCT last week
I have got perineal massage into my routine but pelvic floors I can't seem to get into the habit of.

Just in the process of insuring our lives. Scarily both DH and I would be financially better off if the other was dead . I trust him not to wire the laptop to blow up in my face though!

I am seeing red today. Bastards at British Gas have just emailed to say in August they are putting our bills up by about 20% ... after announcing their record profits in April
We only finished switching to them about 1 month ago.
I'm back on uswitch again. Not putting up with this!!

Just drafting a birth plan, as I'm seeing my MW on Weds for the last time before I see the consultant and hopefully get him to agree birth unit is fine for me. I thought if I could show him I'd thought about it and the sort of birth I'm hoping for it might make for a better discussion, but I wanted to run it by my MW first.
Any feedback anyone can give? Have I missed anything important do you think? Is it succinct enough?

Labouring environment and preferences:
? DH is my birth partner
? Quiet, with minimal people please
? I will bring my own music and natal hypnotherapy tracks
? Bringing my birth ball
? I?m planning to be active and upright during labour, trying kneeling/squatting/all fours positions
? I do not want to lie on my back during labour or delivery
? I would like to use a birthing pool
? Minimal internal examinations, only when medically necessary

Pain relief in labour:
? Do not offer me drugs, wait for me to ask
? I want to cope as long as possible using drug free pain control, like breathing & relaxation skills, massage, birth pool

Birth & Third stage:
? I do not want to lie on my back during delivery
? No episiotomy unless medically necessary
? Delay cord clamping (and syntometrine/syntocinon injection if being given) until cord has stopped pulsing, or as long as it is safe to wait
? Skin to skin immediately after birth, baby to breast immediately
? Yes to vitamin K injection
? I?m planning to breastfeed

Other info:
Please be aware that this is not our first baby. We lost our daughter last year at 20 weeks pregnant.
? She was delivered vaginally after an induced labour (3.5 hours from pessary to delivery).
? I had a managed third stage.

Hi all - just popping in to say Hello! spilt here are my birth plans from DS although I must say, please take what you write as a plan and don't expect all to go accordingly, these little monsters already have mind of their owns. DS was back to back so we had to be transferred in and in the end I begged for an epidural!

BIRTH PLAN ? HOME BIRTH

Labour

Where
I would like to be able to move about to where I feel most comfortable, whether this is in the living room with the birthing ball, in the birthing pool or just walking around.

Positions
I would like to try and stay active with DH / MW helping me walk around if needed to progress labour. In the birthing pool I would like to try and stay in positions good for progressing labour and am happy to take advice from the MW as to the best position for this. I recognise I may get tired and want to lie back / rest but I would like to be encouraged not to do so if this will slow down labour.

Atmosphere
I would like to be as natural environment as possible ? perhaps have some calm music available to listen to and if I am feeling well I may want to watch TV to pass the time. I would like DH / MW to be able to be comfortable too but not too far away in case I need them however if labour is progressing slowly I don?t want them to be overly attentive. I would prefer to ask for help if I feel I need it.

Pain Relief
I would like this to be available but only if I ask for it ? if I feel I need some pain relief I would like to explain my symptoms to the MW and have her recommend the best pain relief.

DH?s role
I would like DH to support me by encouraging me and being as involved as possible. I want him to be able to ask me and the MW questions and understand what is going on. I would also like DH to be in charge of getting drinks/food, hot water for the pool and music.

Delivery

Positions
I would like to be in a position which uses the benefit of gravity but is also comfortable for me at the time. I do not want to lie flat on my back in a bed. If I am in the pool I would like to try squatting with DH supporting me under my arms or on all fours.

Medical Intervention
I want to resist all forms of medical intervention unless necessary for the safety of the baby, and if necessary I am happy to make an informed decision based on the advice of the MW.

Birth
I would like the baby to be passed to DH first and for him to tell me the sex; I would then like him to place the baby on my chest straightaway for skin to skin contact. I would also like to try and breastfeed immediately if this is possible. When required I would like DH to cut the cord.

Placenta
I will take the advice of the MW at the time with regards to delivering the placenta, I would prefer to deliver this naturally but if I am very tired at the time I may ask for an injection to speed this up.

Baby Care
I would like for DH and I to be present whenever our baby is weighed / checked over and I would like for the MW to explain to us at the time what they are doing / checking and why for us to understand the process.

BIRTH PLAN ? TRANSFER TO HOSPITAL

Whilst we are planning for a home birth we understand that at the time there may be a requirement to transfer to Epsom Hospital. Whilst we would prefer this was a last resort we are willing to take the advice of the MW in the best interests of safety for the baby.

Should we be transferred at any point we would like this process to be as stress free as possible and understand exactly what is happening and why.

Labour
Where
I would like to use the birth pool at the hospital and have the ability to move around freely. If possible I would like to take my birthing ball with me to use.

Positions
I would like to try and stay active with DH / MW helping me walk around if needed to progress labour. I would like to be able to use the hospital birthing pool and if possible, give birth in it. Whilst In the birthing pool I would like to try and stay in positions good for progressing labour and am happy to take advice from the MW as to the best position for this. I recognise I may get tired and want to lie back / rest but I would like to be encouraged not to do so if this will slow down labour.

Atmosphere
If possible I would prefer to be away from other labouring mothers in a calm and quiet environment.

Pain Relief
I would like this to be available but only if I ask for it ? if I feel I need some pain relief I would like to explain my symptoms to the MW and have her recommend the best pain relief. If we are in the hospital due to complications I would not rule out an Epidural if I feel the pain is very intense but I will ask for this if I feel I need it.

DH?s role
I would like DH to support me by encouraging me and being as involved as possible. If we have any questions or are unsure as to what is happening I want him to speak to the MW / Doctor to ask any questions. In the hospital I will probably feel a bit more out of control as it is a new environment so I would like DH to take charge and ensure I feel comfortable with the new surroundings.

Delivery
Positions
I would like to be in a position which uses gravity but is also comfortable for me at the time. I do not want to lie flat on my back in a bed.

Medical Intervention
I want to resist all forms of medical intervention unless necessary for the safety of the baby, at which point I will make an informed decision based on the advice of the Doctor / MW.

Birth
I would like the baby to be passed to DH first and for him to tell me the sex; I would then like him to place the baby on my chest straightaway for skin to skin contact. I would also like to try and breastfeed immediately if this is possible. When required I would like DH to cut the cord.

Placenta
I will take the advice of the MW at the time with regards to delivering the placenta, I would prefer to deliver this naturally but if I am very tired at the time I may ask for an injection to speed this up.

Baby Care
I would like for DH and I to be present whenever our baby is weighed / checked over and I would like for the MW to explain to us at the time what they are doing / checking and why for us to understand the process.

Oh and also, I ended up lying on my back moaning in agony and when the MW and DH reminded me of my birth plan I impolitely told them to f*&^ off!!

Wow - those are both so useful to read Terrys and Spilt - you have inspired me to get going on mine! Spilt I don't really know what the consultant will be looking for but it looks comprehensive to me, and a good idea to show it to your midwife for feedback too.

Getdown I am very jealous of your holiday! Hope you managed to do lots of lounging about

Well, my news is that our hypnobirthing lady really kindly rescheduled so we had our first session last night (and next one tomorrow!) which was good, though I think she's thinks I'm a bit difficult because I pointed out that some pain is just physical and not due to fear, e.g. papercut hurts because it hurts not because you're scared, and she couldn't really explain why I was wrong. In fact DH explained it better on the drive home, saying that it's not about erasing the pain but about managing it...I think that's right anyway . We listened to the CD last night and I thought it was AWFUL, I couldn't drop off to it at all and just lay there fuming while listening to the American whine...(I have no problem with American accents - my step family are American - it is a particularly annoying voice on the CD!). Am hoping tonight it will be better.

Also, I initially felt terrible about it but this morning I rang the community midwife supervisor and asked to switch midwife - the more I think about my appointment last week the more uncomfortable I am. In addition to telling me I should have gained 13lbs EXACTLY, she also told me off for finding out the sex of the baby ('Tut, it's like opening your presents before Christmas, honestly...'), and, what really got me, made a phone call to a colleague after I'd just sat down (she was running late - I'd been waiting 40 minutes already but I didn't mind and could have waited longer!) for 5 minutes about another woman, in which she gave out this woman's full name, full address and full details of her problems with breastfeeding. I was really uncomfortable - I could easily have sat in the waiting room for another 5 minutes rather than listen to that, and I wouldn't want her to make that kind of phone call about me in front of someone else...anyway, the supervisor was really nice and agreed the midwife hadn't been professional and had broken confidentiality, and was really happy for me to see someone else. I was so embarrassed to ask but I'm glad I did. It's a bit annoying because I have to go to a different surgery which is a drive away but I think I'll feel happier this way. Do you think I've over-reacted? I wasn't going to say anything about it but it was actually at the class last night the other couple who were there (stuck in the same traffic jam as us last week!) and the lady running the class were all really appalled when I mentioned it and the hypnobirthing lady pointed out I didn't have to have the same midwife again if I didn't want to - I hadn't really thought about switching but I'm glad now!

Hope everyone else is well? Exciting times on this thread - we should have some babies soon...

terrys nice to hear from you. Hope all is well.

getdown glad your hols went well. Your fb photos look fab

I think I've said hi since my hol. Still recovering! But apart from feeeling v tired, I'm doing ok.

I agree your old mw sounds crap and glad you've switched pippa

My birth plan dor DD was quite lengthy. I soon realised though that no one actually reads it when you're in labour, so this time mine is in my head and I'm getting a doula who will stand up for what I want.

lady any news??

Wow, terrys thanks for typing that up. It looks very similar to mine in approach. Don't worry I know it's just a plan and have tried to be realistic - ie. not "I don't want drugs" just "I want to cope without as long as I can and I will ask when I need them", that kind of thing.
How did your 20 week scan go? Did you find out the flavour or not?

pippa I'm glad you got your hypnobirthing session in the end. If you gain nothing else from it, at least it's given you the confidence etc to change your MW. You sound absolutely right to have done so. I am appalled at her giving out all that confidential information infront of you, that's terrible. What if the woman she was discussing turned out to be one of the girls you teach for example??!

I found when I read the hypnobirthing book that I could buy into large parts of it, but totally rejected other bits. (Like the chapter on breech babies - apparently it's the mum's fault because she's not relaxed enough, and she can think the baby into head down position)... I got a bit disgruntled there. Our NCT teacher actually talked through some of the principles of hypnobirthing (not that she described them as such) in terms of the need to minimise adrenalin by remaining calm and relaxed and keeping breathing deeply and gently. This should allow your body to get on with making endorphins (which mean you feel less pain) and oxytocin (which will keep labour progressing). She drew the Fear-Tension-Pain circle thing as well and said how getting into this loop is a viscious cycle that will make things worse and worse, so it's important to try and stay un-tense and do whatever you need to do beforehand to minimise your fears. All this makes good sense to me.

I don't know how far the calm breathing thing will get me, but plan 2 is from the Birth Skills book, where the author basically says "I'm not going to pretend otherwise, it will hurt a lot, here are some ways to manage the pain". I was worried otherwise that as soon as the pain got too much to manage I would panic and lose it entirely. The basic premise of this book is that your brain can only properly concentrate on one thing at a time so you need to overload it with other stimuli so that not too much of your brain is able to process the pain messages. She talks about visualisation, breathing/vocalisation, movement, stress balls and keywords as the main skills and gives loads of suggestions of activities to practice.

Sorry that was long!

I shall take that as a compliment nix! I've done 2 batches of pelvic floors today after the discussions yesterday and am rewarding myself by eating an easter egg

Spilt that book looks really good - brilliant reviews on Amazon too. I might have to make a little purchase...(such a guilty Amazon habit...)

I just casually picked at something that was irritating me on my neck and realised to my horror I had picked OFF one of my lovely new skin tags.

Oh my God.

Will I die from the grossness?

pippa! I have done that - they bleed a lot don't they!? Yuck!

Off NCT-ing, have a nice evening all
(apart from pippa who is too busy vomiting at the thought of her skin tag!)

Interesting reading these birth plans. Like nix I may have to nick some of these for my own!! I'm meeting the consultant MW at 36 weeks to finalise it all.

Got my second hypnobirthing session tonight.

Hope your NCT group went well last night spilt.

Just back from the MW. I am measuring small, fundal height no different to 3 weeks ago, but baby is 2/5 down so must have grown a bit, but not as much as she would like. Being sent for a growth scan... at somepoint in the next FORTNIGHT!!! Scared. Been told to keep a close eye on movements. It feels like the beginning of the end

29cm still, so was small last time too.

spilt to you - I know with what happened to Bobbie that you must be terrified now but I am sure that everything will be fine, if they were really worried they would be sending you off straight away. Can you afford a private scan? If you can it might be good to go for that to set your mind at ease - or really kick off with the docs / hospital and demand one now (it is not unreasonable for you to be stressed about this and making you wait 2 weeks is not fair)

How are the movements? Getting lots?

Remember what happened to Bobbie was a horrid and random occurance and is very unlikely to happen again. I will keep checking this thread today if you need to talk or PM me. Thinking of you. xxx

Thanks terrys. I've phoned the ultrasound department and explained things and asked if they could squeeze me in sooner, or at least give me a date over the phone - but no, I am not a medic and therefore they cannot act on my request and I need to wait for my appointment to come through the normal channels.
DH has phoned the consultant's secretary and asked if they can help (he did my last two scans and was great about offering extra reassurance ones), so we're waiting for a call back from them now.
Failing that I think I will go in for monitoring later today just for some reassurance, but really I want a scan.

I know my MW can't have been hugely worried or it would all be happening with more urgency, but I am really scared and I can't wait for 2 weeks on tenterhooks.

She's been wiggling this morning as normal which is good. Gawd I feel like I want CFM for the next 5+ weeks solid!

Hugs spilt, I hope you manage to get an earlier scan, that seems mean to make you wait for 2 weeks. But as you say if there's no urgency from the MW then she can't be overly worried so try and hold on to that fact. And the wiggling! Why does this pregnancy business have to be so worrying?!

Welcome back from holiday getdown, glad to hear you had a lovely time. Not been to look round the Rosie birth bit yet although seen other parts of it when going for scans and bloods.

Any news Lady?

Had fun doing my decorating last week although we never got on to baby's room, oops! It's quite small though so easy to fit in on a weekend.

I'm not sleeping well at all at the moment so might have a lunchtime snooze, zzzzzzzzzz.