Giving the big news this Xmas

ExpectingLady93 · 2021-11-25T20:36:04+00:00

I am currently 7 weeks pregnant, still very early days and due my first midwife appointment on 3rd December. Taking each day as it comes and being careful. Big fear of mine is telling the wider world and unfortunately losing baby. We are being careful who and when we tell just for our own fears, we are both nervous as first time parents (28) but excited! DP is especially nervous but expect he will come around 😆 We were planning to tell family a week before Xmas. Would it be nice do you think to do it Xmas Eve or Xmas day? I don't want to shock my poor parents (will be a big shock for them, I'm the youngest sibling- it will be the first grandchild to my parents. My DP's parents have x2 grandkids already from his sister.) I am also seeing my sister and her partner on Xmas eve and Xmas day so I don't want to take too much away from them on their Xmas day... I know it's stupid to think that [sad] Wondering how to break the news also, maybe a postcard? We don't have a scan photo yet! X

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SweatyYetti · 25/11/2021 20:39

Congratulations

Think very carefully how it might be taken, even family can be a bit . I wouldn't do it on any of the big days. I think the idea of a week before is great.

Super awesome for you! Xx

SweatyYetti · 25/11/2021 20:40

You can get a tree decoration maybe?

Original poster

ExpectingLady93 · 25/11/2021 20:42

@SweatyYetti

Congratulations

Think very carefully how it might be taken, even family can be a bit . I wouldn't do it on any of the big days. I think the idea of a week before is great.

Super awesome for you! Xx

Thank you so much!!

Yes my thoughts exactly... I know my lovely sister also. As the eldest, I think (and I am very worried) this may sting her a bit. I know it's very silly to think that.

I was thinking of doing it on the weekend before. Might give my sister a visit before telling my parents x

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Original poster

ExpectingLady93 · 25/11/2021 20:42

@SweatyYetti

You can get a tree decoration maybe?

I love that!

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PurpleDaisies · 25/11/2021 20:44

Do you have a reason to think your sister might not take the news well or have I read that wrong?

I agree with not doing it on the big days. The weekend before sounds like a nice idea.

Original poster

ExpectingLady93 · 25/11/2021 20:47

@PurpleDaisies no reason massively but we are close in age and it's always been more expected that she would be 'the first' especially the way my mum goes on... hence why I do feel this will be a shock

I think definitely the week before we will announce the news.

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SweatyYetti · 25/11/2021 20:48

I'd tell you're parents first as they can advise you on how to break it to your sister. They may know something that she's going through that you don't know.

Boredandsingle · 25/11/2021 20:50

Just to echo PP don't hijack Xmas day/ eve
If you announce the week before then you'll already be getting plenty of attention over Xmas.
(I say that in the kindest way)

SweatyYetti · 25/11/2021 20:50

You don't want your parents finding out by a teary phone call from your sister.

PurpleDaisies · 25/11/2021 20:51

If you think your sister will actually be upset, I’d consider not telling her in person or dropping enough hints that she works it out. I still can’t quite work out if that’s the case.

If she’ll be shocked or sad, give her chance to digest the news and react in the way she would like to rather than being blindsided with it.

Original poster

ExpectingLady93 · 25/11/2021 20:55

@Boredandsingle

Just to echo PP don't hijack Xmas day/ eve If you announce the week before then you'll already be getting plenty of attention over Xmas. (I say that in the kindest way)

I completely agree. I didn't want to hijack at all and that's a really good word to use. I'll have to use that with DP 😆 I'd feel more comfortable a week before

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SweatyYetti · 25/11/2021 20:55

One of my friends has two sisters. One miscarried the day before the other announced. So treat very delicately xx

PenelopeVonDelius · 25/11/2021 20:56

I think I'd tell you dps first too. If you are a bit unsure about how the news might go down, telling them all on Xmas day or Xmas eve is a terrible, terrible idea!

Families can be funny about pregnancies. My mil was not happy when sil announced her pregnancy. Not sure why. They were married and she was the eldest child. She was a little younger though (26).

When my dbro and exsil announced they were expecting, we seriously had to dig deep to seem pleased an not concerned. It took a good few seconds of (wtf?) silence before we did a very half hearted congratulations. However, that was because their marriage was terrible. They did have two dcs in quick succession and then split up, so we weren't wrong!

Anyway, these things put me off doing any sort of big baby announcement.

Original poster

ExpectingLady93 · 25/11/2021 20:57

@PurpleDaisies

If you think your sister will actually be upset, I’d consider not telling her in person or dropping enough hints that she works it out. I still can’t quite work out if that’s the case.

If she’ll be shocked or sad, give her chance to digest the news and react in the way she would like to rather than being blindsided with it.

Thank you- I think there will be some shock and a bit of sadness. I was thinking of sitting her down and telling her just us two so she doesn't have to fake anything in front of her partner and my DP. Need to really think how to approach her. She's not emotionally vulnerable at the moment so I know not to tread too carefully it's more just the jealousy I may be worried about, can't put my finger on it...

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Original poster

ExpectingLady93 · 25/11/2021 20:59

@PenelopeVonDelius

I think I'd tell you dps first too. If you are a bit unsure about how the news might go down, telling them all on Xmas day or Xmas eve is a terrible, terrible idea!

Families can be funny about pregnancies. My mil was not happy when sil announced her pregnancy. Not sure why. They were married and she was the eldest child. She was a little younger though (26).

When my dbro and exsil announced they were expecting, we seriously had to dig deep to seem pleased an not concerned. It took a good few seconds of (wtf?) silence before we did a very half hearted congratulations. However, that was because their marriage was terrible. They did have two dcs in quick succession and then split up, so we weren't wrong!

Anyway, these things put me off doing any sort of big baby announcement.

I am the same, we won't have a big announcement. Obviously do a social media post in a couple of months (!!) just so the wider world knows but even that I hope doesn't go off the roof 😂 I can feel the shock now

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Flyingbymypants · 25/11/2021 21:00

Please don't do it on Xmas eve/day. My stepsister announced hers at the table. What she didn't know was that I had had 3 miscarriages over the preceding 18 months.

Congratulations and wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy

Santaischeckinglists · 25/11/2021 21:00

Why can't you wait until 12 weeks and not risk upsetting anyone at Christmas?

PurpleDaisies · 25/11/2021 21:00

I was thinking of sitting her down and telling her just us two so she doesn't have to fake anything in front of her partner and my DP.

My main experience is from the infertility board, but it’s similar in that your sister might have some of the same emotions. Being told face to face is awful. Absolutely awful. If your sister hasn’t shared whatever you think she’s finding difficult, I’m not sure a face to face meeting is the way to go. The best way to find out if you think you’ll find it hard is almost always a factual text message sent when you know they’ll be at home.

PenelopeVonDelius · 25/11/2021 21:05

If you want to be sensitive, I'd probably text your dsis first. She can then style it out when you next see her.

Your dps, tell face to face after that maybe? You should definitely be able to celebrate it though! And you will over Christmas. I bet a lot of fuss will be made and it will be a lovely Christmas thinking about your new baby etc. That's exactly as it should be. So don't feel guilty about celebrating. Just maybe don't be insensitive re announcement.

Original poster

ExpectingLady93 · 25/11/2021 21:07

@PurpleDaisies

I was thinking of sitting her down and telling her just us two so she doesn't have to fake anything in front of her partner and my DP.

My main experience is from the infertility board, but it’s similar in that your sister might have some of the same emotions. Being told face to face is awful. Absolutely awful. If your sister hasn’t shared whatever you think she’s finding difficult, I’m not sure a face to face meeting is the way to go. The best way to find out if you think you’ll find it hard is almost always a factual text message sent when you know they’ll be at home.

Thanks, I don't think she would forgive me if I told her by text. Only thing I am worried about is I know she's spoken about kids and wants them (maybe not as much as me!) but her DP isn't in a position to have them yet so it's a bit of a stinger for her.

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Constellationstation · 25/11/2021 21:07

Congratulations on your pregnancy!
If you’re going to wait then I would wait until after your 12 week scan so that you know everything’s ok. I think telling people on any of the special Christmas days is a bit risky. People can be funny about this sort of news for all sorts of reasons.

Original poster

ExpectingLady93 · 25/11/2021 21:07

Sorry should have said, she doesn't have infertility issues that I know of. I know she's on contraception.

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Original poster

ExpectingLady93 · 25/11/2021 21:09

@Constellationstation

Congratulations on your pregnancy! If you’re going to wait then I would wait until after your 12 week scan so that you know everything’s ok. I think telling people on any of the special Christmas days is a bit risky. People can be funny about this sort of news for all sorts of reasons.

Yes thank you! I would love to wait until 12 weeks.... only problem is (you can laugh) I'm usually the first to pop open the Prosecco and Buck's Fizz on Xmas day!! If I don't.... there is seriously going to be whispers and it will be quite obvious. I know it sounds ridiculous. When I spoke to DP about it he agreed with that also

😂

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partyarty821 · 25/11/2021 21:10

Personally if I was early on and at all concerned about my sisters reaction I would wait until after Christmas. I know it's the most exciting thing in the world and so hard to stop it bursting out but it would be really kind to wait.

If you arnt spending Christmas Day with your sister could you tell you parents but ask them not to mention it until you've told her a week or so later?

Massive congratulations!

Original poster

ExpectingLady93 · 25/11/2021 21:10

@PenelopeVonDelius

If you want to be sensitive, I'd probably text your dsis first. She can then style it out when you next see her.

Your dps, tell face to face after that maybe? You should definitely be able to celebrate it though! And you will over Christmas. I bet a lot of fuss will be made and it will be a lovely Christmas thinking about your new baby etc. That's exactly as it should be. So don't feel guilty about celebrating. Just maybe don't be insensitive re announcement.

Totally agree thank you. Within a week later of telling them it will be Christmas so I think the news would have sunk in by then hopefully and we can all enjoy.

I'm nervous just thinking about it. Having the secret between me and DP has been quite nice x

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