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30 replies

MamaBtobe · 20/03/2017 20:55

Hi all, this is probably a bit of an AIBU post but here goes anyway...
My DH and I are planning to announce our news that we are expecting our first baby this week. I'm 12 weeks already and so far I have been happy to keep the exciting news between us. It's been fantastic having breathing space to get ready for this next chapter in our lives.
We know our families will be both surprised and ecstatic and bursting to share the news but whilst I'm excited for them, I have one issue...they flipping love a Facebook announcement Confused
Don't get me wrong, I enjoy browsing through my social media accounts but I'm quite a private person and I'm not interested in acquaintances and friends of friends knowing my business.
Am I wrong to put a Facebook post ban on the news?! I feel bad but at the same time the thought of an announcement from one of our family members fills me with dread! Especially if something is posted before we get to share our news with our friends and colleagues.
Anyone put a Facebook announcement ban in place? How was it recently ever? My FIL will hate me lol 😟

OP posts:
Avasmummy16 · 21/03/2017 16:05

Congratulations to you both , it certainly is a very exciting time.
Yanbu, i put a facebook ban on all my family when we were expecting for the same reason as you.
I didn't want all the world to know and if i wanted people to know I told them personally, I think it's better that way, and everyone respected my decision as they didn't want to upset me.
But I'm not on Facebook anyway so even if they did, I didn't know about it.Smile

Astro55 · 21/03/2017 16:07

It's really sad that you have to remind people that this is your news for sharing and not theirs! Some people have no idea how to treat such news!!

ellesbellesxxx · 21/03/2017 16:07

We said that we didn't want anything on fb too and it's been fine.. apart from one friend trying to tag me in lots of things Confused

When our twins arrive, fb would be the last place we would share it and I def don't want their photos on there.. once online they belong to fb!

So.. I hear you :)

2014newme · 21/03/2017 16:08

When I was pg the trend was just to tell people rather than announced, that was for the royal family only. Yanbu about fb.

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 21/03/2017 16:08

After my DD was born DH called / text a photo to our immediate family, including 'please don't post to Facebook!' And five minutes later I had loads of texts from people congratulating me, and realised DH's mum had sent it to his aunt and she had put the picture online and tagged us.

I was so angry.

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 21/03/2017 16:10

I guess my point is, you can say it, but someone might ignore it!

MissJC · 21/03/2017 16:11

Same thing happened to me! 5 minutes after giving birth my sister in law who I can't abide anyway decided to announce it on fb and tag me in it. Started getting texts etc so I rang her (whilst being stitched up mind!) and gave her both barrels.
She removed said post pronto. It's just plain cheeky and thoughtless.

Nicnak2223 · 21/03/2017 16:15

I did exactly the same, and it wasn't a problem for anyone (or if it was they didn't tell me)

It's not their news to share

MamaBtoB · 21/03/2017 16:21

Thanks everyone 😊 I know I'm within my right but I also know I'll offend some but like you say it's our news.
I cannot wait to tell everyone after our scan this week!

MamaBtoB · 21/03/2017 16:21

MissJC you were right to be annoyed! πŸ™ˆ I would be furious

Grainfail · 21/03/2017 16:42

I always thought it went without saying that you don't announce someone else's news on FB until you see that they have, at which point you can comment on it.
That is until my brother announced our daughter's birth before we had told everyone we wanted. I got a bunch of messages from people I wanted to call/text personally. Still irks me that he says to us not to put anything on FB of his until he has, so he obviously knows the rules.
OP - you're completely within your rights not to have your life plastered on social media except under your own terms.

TheNewWife · 21/03/2017 17:27

There was not a thing on FB regarding my wedding or that I'm now expecting.
My DM struggled with it around our wedding but I stuck my heels in - if I wanted you to see me get wed then you'd have been invited.
Same for my pregnancy - if I want you to know I'm pregnant then you'll know. I don't think it needs splashed all over FB plus it bores the shit out of folk. I'm bored by other people's inane posts about how they spent seventytwelve hours pram shopping and 'sstttiiiiilllll can't decide' #yawn so what makes my updates any different?!
Anyway, I digress - it's your baby, your rules.
I met an acquaintance in the supermarket the other day and her jaw hit the floor when she realised I was pregnant and so obviously close to dropping. Hilarious!

EllaNB · 25/03/2017 09:35

Hi, I am 17 weeks pregnant and have have put in place a FB ban. I've told all my friends and family in person or by telephone! Everyone has respected my wishes! Xx

MSH2010 · 29/03/2017 14:09

I've been worried others would do it to me so I've turned off people being able to write on my wall and all posts tagging me have to be approved by me first.

I majorly don't get on with my MIL and I'm not friends with her on fb so just hoping she hasn't posted anything otherwise we really will fall out again.

She's doing my head in with daily texts since she found out.... She never text me last week when it was my birthday :(

Fuggyann · 12/04/2017 18:24

We caused a bit of a family rift after one of my DH's family members decided to announce it on Facebook before we'd told anyone beyond family really. The worst part was the arguement we had to have with his parents over why it was not appropriate and why she should remove it.
We got our point across in the end, then decided we would announce it on there as we felt it was better for us to do it and control it, that have anyone else do it.
Said family member has since unfriended us.
I don't think some people understand that you still get to control your own personal information!

Phoebefromfriends · 13/04/2017 13:21

Two of my cousins recently got married and their wives are both expecting, I was told over the phone and they haven't posted anything on FB so I won't be posting anything either, it's not my news. In contrast a friend recently got married abroad and someone posted a tonne of pictures alongside videos of the ceremony, I was a bit Hmm. uploading videos of the ceremony is another level IMO.

punkpuffin · 13/04/2017 13:56

When i had my second last year we kept the name a secret up until the birth. After he was born my mum rang my aunt and within minutes she posted welcome to the world baby (name) on Facebook. I'd fallen asleep (ds was born at 12. 05am)and didn't tell anyone else. I woke to lots of messages saying congratulations and love the name. I was devestated!

SellMySoulForSomeSleep · 13/04/2017 20:25

My SIL announced my pregnancy on FB. She didn't tag me but it bugged me a bit.

DM announced the name.
I'd already put a picture up to say baby had arrived safe and well but me and DH needed a sleep before we chose the name.

We chose it a few hours later just before visiting time so told our parents. My DM went straight home, posted her pics and introduced the name.
I hadn't told her not to so didn't really feel like I had a leg to stand on.

I started getting texts saying nice name etc etc and it took me a few minutes to figure out how people knew.
It's done now. But towards the end of this pregnancy I might do that can't tag me thing.

Thingymaboob · 11/06/2017 14:17

I think pregnancy announcements on Facebook are awful. I don't mind telling people face to face but that's because they are people I see. I will be banning any announcements on Facebook!

user1496701154 · 02/07/2017 23:02

I don't think your wrong not putting it on Facebook. I can understand that private lives are private lives. I will only be saying when out little one is born be one picture of us online.

LJFM2B · 19/07/2017 10:56

I think you have every right to not want things on facebook/IG etc, with everything baby related its all to do with what right for you. im only 8+3 but dont plan to do an announcment.

My friend is 24 weeks and she hasnt put anything up, she recently posted a holiday snap with her DOH and another couple who they went away with (her bump is now obvious) and she got so many comments - some saying "why did you not announce it" a result she has deleted everybody apart from close family and best friends as she said it was an eye opener!

Dont stress and do what you feels right

holdthewine · 17/09/2017 09:41

My DC just said to everyone not to put it on FB as they would when they were ready. No one infringed that as far as I know but I am not big on FB.

Patienceofatoddler · 23/12/2017 22:07

Your well within your rights to ask people not to share on FB.

When expecting my second a good friend met with an old friend I hadn't seen in a few months and children came up and she mentioned we were expecting and they exclaimed 'oh really but I haven't seen anything on fb!' Hmm

None of my pregnancies were formally announced online but any pictures later on the eagle eyed would have noticed.

We waited at least a week before putting anything online after the births (had bigger priorities lol) and it was only what we wanted to.

There was a strict hubby will phone with news when born rule.

My phone was off / away - Giving me a chance to concentrate on what I needed to not extended / immediate family - I also liked this gave hubby the responsibility to control the 'news'.

You do what feels right for you

Tobuyornot99 · 23/12/2017 22:12

My neighbour announced on FB that I'd gone into labour after seeing us drive to the hospital, and my cousin, who I see less than once a year, announced that I'd had dd. I was annoyed, but thought if they've that little going on and FB is that important to them that they want to share other people's news on there, leave them to it.
I recently went to a wedding where the Registrar announced that the bride and groom had asked that no photos be put on FB, and I thought how sad it was that people have to even ask this.

woundedbutwalking · 23/12/2017 22:26

We had a strict no fb policy for pregnancy/birth/photos of my dd, which we're still adhering to. My DF was a bit Hmm about it as his family are overseas so meant phone calls to them all. I thought it was a nicer way to spread the news & meant that only people we/he care about found out.

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