DBIL commits suicide - the fall out...

[thirtyfivepence]

He killed himself last week, leaving a copy of his will where it could easily be found (all his letters relating to his debt were left outside in the rain).

His will says he didn't want an autopsy - well that wasn't going to happen the way he wanted given the nature of his death.

He said he wanted to be cremated - which his parents reluctantly did. He also said he wanted his ashes interred at a particular place. His parents don't agree and want to buy a plot for them to go in when they pass and to put him in now.

Dh is the executor of the will and has said that they shouldn't proceed with the cemetery plot, at least until he has worked through the rest of the will.

Their argument is if they are paying that should trump what he wrote in his will.

Personally dh doesn't mind what happens but as his brother charged him with just the three instructions (as he had only debts - but that's another store) as the executor he has to respect his brother's wishes.

Everyone in the family is hurt and upset at dh - but he didn't make the will - their other son did. But of course they can't be angry at him because he is dead and so it goes on.

this might be of some use to you 35p - although it is entitled "contested probate" there is a free helpline/email contact at the bottom of the text - you might get some help from them as to whether or not your DH has to follow the letter of the Will or whether it is flexible.

Of course, as your DBIL committed suicide, it is debatable as to whether he was of sound mind - so if your PIL were of a mind to, they could contest the Will anyway but seems a bit extreme just over a burial place.

Sorry for your loss.

When my DBIL died he had specific wants too and my DS adhered to these but it meant he was a long way away and access to the site would be limited to every few years at best so we split the ashes and planted them under a special tree locally.

The will was made 7 years ago through a solicitor and properly signed.

Funeral Director explained (kindly) to family that they didn't really have a leg to stand on, and they have (for now) accepted that and bowed out. Most of the debts have been written off without the need to hand over his grotty things which he used to secure the loan.

hope what the funeral directors said helps your DH and takes some of the pressure off him xxx

hope what the funeral directors said helps your DH and takes some of the pressure off him xxx

Flat now completely sorted and key going back tomorrow. A whole life packed up in a fortnight. Everything both of us do at the moment is wrong with MIL. She is having her angry phase.